Oct 19 2009Jennifer Love Hewitt: 'Jamie Kennedy is like the most awesome person'
Jennifer Love Hewitt is hurt that people would suggest Jamie Kennedy wants to have sex with other women, according to People:
"It's really hurtful that people say that," says Hewitt, 30, who attended the event with her beau of 8 months, costar Jamie Kennedy. "Because he is like the most awesome person."
Adds Hewitt: "I really hate that people would make it seem like he's not really a good guy, and not treating me well. He treats me very well. "We are just trying to be really happy," Hewitt says. "It makes it hard to do that when everybody is putting negative energy out there."
Not that I'm pointing any fingers here, but do you know what kind of celebrities comment on every single break-up rumor that comes down the line? The ones that have caught their boyfriends having sex with another woman and believed he was just giving her the Heimlich. Then again, in Jamie Kennedy's defense, the Heimlich is most effective when both parties are naked. So any ladies going to Red Lobster later tonight, remember that when I try to dislodge the cheese biscuit you haven't even eaten yet. I just want to save lives, dammit!
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Oct 14 2009Jennifer Love Hewitt can't even hold onto Jamie Kennedy. Ouch.
Jennifer Love Hewitt's large breasts can't even make Jamie Kennedy stay with her. He's reportedly ready to bail on her for his ex-girlfriend, and former Britney Spears assistant, Shannon Funk, according to FOX 411:
"Jamie is still hung up on Shannon and has been telling her that," says the source. "He also told her he had zero desire to go to the Tao event with [Love Hewiit], but Jen insisted they go together to put rumors to rest. Jamie decided he at least owed her that, so he appeased her and accompanied her to the event even though he's pretty much checked out of the relationship."
It sounds like Love Hewitt is not totally in the dark, however, according to Jamie's pal.
"Jen knows things have really changed with them, but the public appearance is all part of her damage control plan. Unfortunately for her, it doesn't seem Jamie is going to stay with Jen ultimately."
Okay, how crazy is Jennifer Love Hewitt that Jamie Kennedy of all people won't even stick around and look at her naked? I'm pretty sure that guy has paid for sex numerous times yet he's going to jump ship on probably the greatest thing that's happened to his career/penis. So maybe she throws kitchen knives at you because that "whore" at Starbucks gave you extra sugar packets. It's not like she locked you in the basement with the corpses of her former lovers until you propose marriage. -- That happened, didn't it? I get it now.
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Sep 3 2009Jennifer Love Hewitt in German FHM
Here's Jennifer Love Hewitt in the latest issue of German FHM looking airbrushed out the anus. Seriously, there's no way she's that skinny and I don't care if she is wearing a corset. If that thing really was making her that thin, her breasts would be sticking straight up smacking her in the face. Or at least that's how I'm imagining it in my head. Ha ha! Now how are you going to drive a car, Jennifer Love Hewitt?
NOTE: So these might be old photos. Shows how much I look at magazine pictorials of Jennifer Love Hewitt and will no longer trust the Germans in the future. Streusely bastards.
Aug 3 2009Jennifer Love Hewitt in a bikini
Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy slipped off to Hawaii for a vacation where apparently JLove wore a bikini while playing tennis. Which is amazing because I actually didn't want to rip my eyes out while whipping Jenny Craig meals at the monitor. Who saw that coming? Be honest.
EDIT: Had to remove the tennis pics because of copyright issues. But, hey, nothing sexier than staring at a woman through a fence. Jon Gosselin knows what I'm talking about.
Jun 19 2009Jennifer Love Hewitt wrote a book on dating
Jennifer "My Fiancee Left Me so I Rebounded with Jamie Kennedy" Love Hewitt has written a book on dating, according to OK! Magazine reports:
"Throughout my career, there has always been so much written about my love life. Some true, but mostly made up," she says in a press release from Voice publishers. "I thought it was time to share the real story of what I've learned navigating the dating waters. Hopefully, in addition to having a good laugh, women reading this will learn from some of my hard lessons."
Didn't she used to go out with Carson Daly? Because I'm pretty sure that precludes Jennifer Love Hewitt from writing a dating advice book. Seriously, with her record, the only person less qualified is the Craig's List Killer. Maybe.
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May 20 2009Jennifer Love Hewitt working on country album
As if dating Jamie Kennedy wasn't evidence enough that Jennifer Love Hewitt has lost her shit, she's considering becoming a country singer, according to People:
How does Kennedy repay his girlfriend for all her loving support? "After the show she gets Pinkberry," Kennedy jokes. Kidding aside, he says Hewitt is "writing a country song, and I really want to make her a new demo for her music, because I think she should do singing again. She's so good."
Here's what I don't get: Jessica Simpson, also of large breastiness, gained 30 pounds, dumbed herself down to almost retarded and still couldn't hack it in the country music genre. So why would Jennifer Love Hewitt think she could do any better? Unless she's lynched a man before. Then maybe.
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Apr 29 2009Scarlett Johansson has 'Best Celebrity Breasts'
In probably the most prestigious competition conceived by man, Scarlett Johansson has been declared the owner of the "Best Celebrity Breasts" by Access Hollywood. Here's how others ranked in cleavagey fortitude:
1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Salma Hayek
3. Halle Berry
4. Jessica Simpson
5. Jennifer Love Hewitt
At this time, I'd like to sincerely thank Scarlett's breasts for getting me through The Spirit. If not for her ample bosom, I would've removed both my eyes instead of one. Also, I look pretty bitchin' with an eye patch.
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Apr 6 2009The Country Music Awards
Here's pretty much everything you need to know about last night's Country Music Awards. For the record, I didn't actually watch them because I was too busy doing something more enjoyable. (Read: Paying the neighbor kid to throw rocks at my genitals.):
Taylor Swift is hot. -- I could end the post right here and still have covered everything that was remotely interesting about the CMAs. True story.
LeAnn Rimes dared show her adulterous face. You bitch! Jesus is watching!
Jennifer Love Hewitt continued her mental breakdown by appearing in public with Jamie Kennedy.
Nicole Kidman wore a backless dress, and it made Keith Urban laugh the nervous laugh of a man who just realized he's banging a mannequin.
Kris Jenner somehow was invited. Because nothing says country like the widow of a lawyer who helped a black man beat murder charges. That should play well in the south.
