Nov 3 2009 Coco is a national treasure
Now it's time for everyone's favorite part of the month where I mine Coco's Twitter for high-quality examples of photographic excellence. And she literally has everything this time around: Rihanna, Ice-T with a ball gag, couches, giant breasted mermaids and, of course, a gratutious up-close shot of her super-butt. I swear, if Coco embodied the American spirit anymore, the next National Treasure movie would have to include Nicolas Cage solving JFK's murder* after deciphering the secret location of Coco's nipples. -- Ha! Just kidding. She doesn't have any.
*Spoiler Alert: It was the Freemasons! Beat you to it, Dan Brown. FACE!
Scope Out (16) Pics of Coco & Ice-T on Halloween After the Jump
Nov 3 2009 Marisa Miller supports the troops and other news
- Chris Martin might have cheated on Gwyneth Paltrow with Kate Bosworth. I blame GOOP. [Lainey Gossip]
- Mariah Carey wipes out on Leno. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin are co-hosting the Oscars. [Just Jared]
- Hailey Glassman to Perez Hilton: "You're the gay Michael Lohan." [PopEater]
- Lindsay Lohan's diaries were apparently the personal items stolen over the summer. Good, I've always wondered what 20 pages of "I HATE YOU DAD" looks like when it's written in Crayola and blow. [Celebslam]
- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in Harper's Bazaar. [PopSugar]
- Sean Penn's teenage son was arrested in Malibu for something. [Wonderwall]
- Tyra Banks claims diets don't work then touts eating healthy as the secret to staying shape. Eh? [ICYDK]
Continue Reading " Marisa Miller supports the troops and other news "
Nov 3 2009 Ashlee Simpson hated by cast of Melrose
While Ashlee Simpson may have brought publicity to the table, the cast of Melrose Place was tired of her diva antics and shit-ass acting skills, according to Fox411:
"Ashlee was kicked off 'Melrose Place' because she was a total diva on set, late all the time, and deeply disliked by fellow cast members," the insider spills. "It created a lot of discord among the cast."
Another big problem, says the snitch?
"She could barely act."
The source says producers desperately wanted Heather Locklear to reprise her role, but couldn't afford her salary demands without cutting someone.
"They basically trimmed the fat and made it possible for Heather to join the show," says the snitch. "Heather is a much bigger name than Ashlee."
HA! That's hilarious. This show is aimed at the 18-24 female demographic and they honestly think Heather Locklear is the bigger name with that crowd? Ashlee's lack of any discernible talent aside, there's no way that's an accurate assumption. Unless Heather's going to Twitter free Edward Cullen iPods out of her vagina in every episode - I have no idea what kids are into these days. - this show's going to be canceled tomorrow. Which is why it's time for The CW to listen to my pitch for a prime-time drama: Erica Durance makes out with Blake Lively - and then a vampire opens a restaurant. (Call me.)
Continue Reading " Ashlee Simpson hated by cast of Melrose "
Nov 3 2009 Olivia Munn is making things happen ('Down there')
Here's Olivia Munn posing for the "Hey Olivia!" issue of MYMAG which hits newsstands later this month is available exclusively online. Somehow she's managed to score herself a cameo in Iron Man 2, and I have no idea how she pulled that off except I do and I want to cover it in frosting and marzipan then use it to win a blue ribbon at a church bake-off. (Don't judge me.)
Scope Out the Behind-the-Scenes Video After the Jump
Continue Reading " Olivia Munn is making things happen ('Down there') "
Nov 3 2009 Kate Gosselin still loves Jon
Seen here as the younger, more fake-breasted version I prefer, Kate Gosselin appeared on Today this morning where she admitted to still loving Jon and wishing she didn't drive him into the questionable vaginas of other women by constantly insulting him. Via People:
On still loving Jon:
"A part of me always will [love Jon]. It's hard to to be married to somebody for 10 years and try to say, 'No, I don't love them anymore.' It doesn't work really well. I love the memories that we have together."
On her constantly demeaning Jon during the show:
"I was wrong to treat him that way."
On how the kids are taking the divorce:
"They all to a degree say I wish mommy and daddy could be here at the same time, and to that I say, I do too."
On why she can't just walk away from the show:
"At this point, I can't go back. I signed up for a reality show, I didn't sign up to be a tabloid staple. If I said I was done and it was enough, it would just be five more covers of why it is that I'm done, and so I would be living that for a period of time essentially with no income, with no job."
Shit, I knew it. There's going to be a Jon & Kate reunion special isn't there? Those sneaky bastards at TLC played us like a fiddle. If it wasn't a statistical certainty that at least one Gosselin kid is psychologically doomed to light their mansion on fire while everyone's sleeping, I'd almost be pissed off about this. Almost.
Scope Out the Video After the Jump
Nov 3 2009 Hugh Grant drunkenly strikes out with model
A shitfaced Hugh Grant reportedly struck out with Project Runway contestant Matar Cohen Saturday night, and despite his well-documented hatred for cameras, he allowed himself to be photographed the entire time presumably in an attempt to land some model-ly poon. Celebslam reports:
"Here's some pics I took of Hugh Grant and Matar Cohen (Israeli model from Project Runway) from Halloween at the Standard Hotel in New York. He was drunk as hell and hitting on her like crazy. He kept taking pictures of her and said he liked the way she looked, but Matar didn't go home with him because he was 'too old' (she's 23)."
How depressed must Hugh Grant be? Back in the day, this was the kind of scenario he probably had nightmares about. "NOOOO! Oh God, Elizabeth, dahling, hold me. I dreamt an entire generation of models had no clue about my bloody star power and wouldn't accept my advances. Could you imagine such a thing? Positively dreadful. Now shall we shag or should I solicit the streetwalker again? Too late, I'm already in the taxi. Hugh Grant waits for no vagina!"
Continue Reading " Hugh Grant drunkenly strikes out with model "
Nov 3 2009 Jessica Simpson is a TV critic now
Despite the fact it takes her a week just to read a Dr. Seuss book, Jessica Simpson decided to shitcan the writing on Melrose Place and chastise The CW for firing Ashlee from the show:
CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press
Wait. I hope she's not criticizing the script to The Dukes of Hazzard because that thing was GOLD. In fact, I'll post the entire thing right here just to prove my point:
The Dukes of Hazzard
Scene: ALL OF THEM
Still hot and skinny Jessica Simpson from 2005 walks around in ridiculously short cutoffs while showcasing her stupid awesome breasts.
Some other shit happens. (Not really important.)
ROLL CREDITS.
*sniff* Gets me every time...
Nov 3 2009 Lady GaGa has a scrotum on her head
Lady GaGa attended the 13th Annual Ace Awards last night and apparently decided her hairdo should resemble a nutsac. Maybe it's just me and my penchant for seeing balls everywhere thanks to a childhood accident, but let's be realistic, would any of us really be surprised if Lady GaGa crawled out of the dead grizzly bear she sleeps in and told her stylist she wants a giant scrotum on her head? Frankly, I'm amazed it's not a daily occurrence.
Scope Out (12) Pics of Lady GaGa After the Jump
Nov 2 2009 Kim Kardashian as Disney Princesses: Plastic Surgery Edition
Here are conveniently ass-free shots of Kim Kardashian dressed up as Princess Jasmine and Snow White over the weekend that she posted to her blog today. At this time, I'd like to apologize to young girls reading the site who are just now finding out that men will only pay attention to them if they're scantily clad and sporting giant cans. But in my defense, who better to bring that message home than the magic of Disney? Take it away, Tink in a thong! (Am I the only one seeing her?)
Continue Reading " Kim Kardashian as Disney Princesses: Plastic Surgery Edition "
Nov 2 2009 Jewel in a bikini and other news
- Kate Beckinsale and a shit-ton more celebs in Halloween costumes. [Celebslam]
- Lindsay Lohan banged Gerard Butler? I believe it. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katie Price, how is Halloween different from any other day for you? [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Mel Gibson's girlfriend gave birth to a baby girl which brings his child army one soldier closer to battling the Jews for control of Hollywood. THEY CAN TAKE OUR ROLES, BUT THEY CAN'T TAKE OUR SUGAR-TITS! FREEEEEDOM! [Just Jared]
- Chris Brown's album cover manages to out-gay Adam Lambert's. Not even joking. [PopEater]
- Robert Pattinson denies dating Kristen Stewart because he's waiting for you entire Twilight demographic with disposable income. [PopSugar]
- Audrina Patridge might be soft on demanding competent plastic surgery, but dammit, if she's not tough on crime. [The Blemish]
- Jake Gyllenhaal in the new Prince of Persia trailer. [Socialite Life]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Jewel After the Jump
