Nov 16 2009Tom Cruise wants Katie Holmes to play the villain in MI: 4
In a completely opposite twist on reality, Tom Cruise wants Katie Holmes to play the villain in the next Mission: Impossible movie, according to MonstersandCritics.com:
A source said: "Tom is very excited about taking 'Mission: Impossible' in a new direction and he sees Katie as a big part of that.
"They have wanted to work together for a while now but the idea of being a couple on screen in a romantic comedy is a bit dull. This might give them a chance to have some fun both as a couple and as hero and villainess."
And by "dull" they of course mean entirely unbelievable. Tom keeping Katie in a suitcase aside, this villain thing might actually work. Mostly because I guarantee Tom Cruise does all kinds of insane stunts whenever he's exposed to her vagina. "That's not a penis!" *rappels down heating duct*
Continue Reading "Tom Cruise wants Katie Holmes to play the villain in MI: 4"
Nov 10 2009Tom Cruise threatened to 'beat the living shit' out of wayward Scientologists
Tom Cruise allegedly threatened to "beat the living shit" out of three disobedient Scientologists, according to the NY Daily News:
Marty Rathbun, once one of Miscavige's most trusted lieutenants, tells us he has a witness who can corroborate his account of a bloody beating at the church's 500-acre compound in Hemet, Calif. Furthermore, he's brought it to the attention of Cruise's attorney, Bert Fields.
On the day before the actor's visit a couple of years ago, the compound's managers took part in "the Tom Cruise arrival preparation drill," which required "orchestrating every action they perform ... in the presence of Cruise," Rathbun recently wrote Fields.
But Miscavige wasn't happy when he addressed 80 to 100 managers at a prisonlike facility, known as "The Hole," where three insubordinate officials -- Marc Yager, Guillaume Leserve and Ray Mithoff -- were "incarcerated," according to Rathbun.
"Miscavige berated [the managers] for being far too light in their demands for confessions" from the three, Rathbun alleges in his letter, "because they refused to beat [them] ... to pulps. Miscavige said that Tom ... had vowed to come to the Hole and personally 'beat the living [bleep]' out of Yager, Leserve and Mithoff if the managers failed to do so themselves.
"In response, the mob rushed at the three targeted gentlemen," Rathbun claimed. "Fists flew and feet kicked into the three. They continued to pound until ... each had two black eyes."
I'm going to assume Tom Cruise wanted the matter handled by others because there's really nothing more embarrassing than threatening to punch someone in the face only to turn around and ask for a ladder. Kind of ruins the moment. "I will fuck your Thetans up, son! Right after I put on this jetpack. Just hold still for a minute. Don't move. -- Alright, who didn't adjust my straps? Goddammit, you guys."
Continue Reading "Tom Cruise threatened to 'beat the living shit' out of wayward Scientologists"
Nov 2 2009Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes make nice for Xenu
With Scientology getting its nuts kicked in by Nightline and Paul Haggis, it's imperative that Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes look like she isn't locked in the basement with a can of beans and an E-Meter every night. That said, it'd probably help their cause if Katie didn't look directly at the hired photographer in every shot, and Tom actually kissed her on the lips like a man who's not afraid of cooties. It's not like he can't hide behind a toadstool and vomit up Thetans after the shoot, so let's see some professionalism, people.
Scope Out (12) Pics of Tom & Katie After the Jump
Continue Reading "Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes make nice for Xenu"
Oct 13 2009Suri Cruise is going to Catholic school?
Despite the lack of curriculum focusing on Xenu's many death rays, Katie Holmes has enrolled Suri in a Catholic school in Boston, according to the Daily Mail:
The family are living in the city while Tom, 47, films his new movie, the spy comedy thriller Wichita. Katie's mother also flew in for her granddaughter's first week at the pre-school. 'Katie has been listening to her parents who are devout Catholics,' I'm told.
'She is not convinced by Scientology and has told Tom that she wants Suri to be educated as a Catholic - as she was. They had been having huge problems agreeing on her school. To say they were having arguments is putting it mildly - but Tom came around to the idea in the end.'
Holmes, 30, has not been seen at the Church of Scientology for more than five months.
Why in the E-meter would Tom Cruise agree to send Suri to a Catholic scho- oh, wait, there's young boys in uniforms there. Case closed.
Oct 5 2009Jessica Biel films 'The A-Team' and other news
- Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise go for a run. Because a couple who jogs together stays together as long as someone keeps batteries in the shock collar. [Lainey Gossip]
- Rihanna thinks she's Lady GaGa now. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Lady GaGa thinks she's Rihanna now. Are we in a bad 80s movie? [PopEater]
- Nicole Richie gets rear-ended by a paparazzo. [Just Jared]
- Simon Cowell apparently throws a bitching party. [Celebslam]
- George Clooney demonstrates how he catches cocktail waitress in the wild. [PopSugar]
- Mo'Nique admits she'd eat an Oscar if she won one. [The Blemish]
- Dita Von Teese probably never wants to see another WonderBra again. Or Marilyn Manson's penis covered in white make-up if we're making a list. [Socialite Life]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Jessica After the Jump
Continue Reading "Jessica Biel films 'The A-Team' and other news"
Sep 23 2009Ashlee Simpson is leggy and other news
- Kanye West can't be having sex with Amber Rose. Just can't be. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Jude Law has a new daughter because apparently paying child support out the ass is his favorite. [PopEater]
- Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz reunite in Boston, and he seems to be giving her the classic Katie Holmes arm grip. You know, the one that reminds her not to show human emotion or Xenu will Klaxon ray them both to death. Yeah, that one. [Lainey Gossip]
- Amy Winehouse randomly shows up at schools and beats up kids now. What took so long? [Just Jared]
- Trevor Donovan must work out. [PopSugar]
- Kevin Federline will appear on the next season of Celebrity Fit Club and I will call that fat bastard "Messiah" if he eats Dustin Diamond. Messiah. [Celebslam]
- Jackson Rathbone was injured on the set of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Must've been all that lame, non-threatening, dry-humping vampire action. Shit will kill you. [WonderWall]
- Drew Barrymore has mommy issues. Oh, yeah, well Mackenzie Phillips' dad stuck his penis in her for 10 years, so maybe quit your bitching. Just a thought. [The Blemish]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Ashlee After the Jump
Sep 22 2009Eva Longoria is cleavagey and other news
- Billy Joel buys finds a new prostitute lady prostitute. [PopEater]
- Miley Cyrus wants to be a "lawer." [Lainey Gossip]
- Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. welcomed a baby girl Saturday but didn't name her Buffy which immediately makes me question why I just posted this. [Just Jared]
- Olivia Wilde is apparently married to Shaggy from Scooby Doo. [PopSugar]
- Tom Cruise spends his afternoon reminding Katie Holmes she'll never outrun him. No matter how deliciously manly she makes her physique. [Celebslam]
- Jennifer Garner is considered attractive, right? .... Why? [Socialite Life]
- Mary-Kate Olsen continues to dress like an 83-year-old British nanny. [ICYDK]
- Gisele Bundchen thinks being pregnant is a good time to learn how to fly a helicopter. Was shark fighting class filled up? [Splash News]
Sep 17 2009Natalie Portman at TIFF and other news
- Kelly Clarkson continues to go after Kanye West. Though he shouldn't be concerned until she draws him a piping hot bath with sliced carrots in it. [PopEater]
- Paris Hilton might be the reason behind Avril Lavgine's divorce. Because everything she touches turns to dust. Or itches. Either one. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kellan Lutz shirtless and working out. Considering this a little something for all the ladies who suffered through Nipple Morning. Who loves ya? [Just Jared]
- Tom Cruise says sex with him is "like flying." Provided the aircraft is small and lands up a man's ass. [PopSugar]
- Chace Crawford is banging Bar Refaeli. I weep now. [Celebslam]
- Mischa Barton is doing a fantastic job staying sober. And by fantastic I mean Jack Daniels and Quaaludes. [The Blemish]
- Joe Francis gets kicked out of a club at the behest of a Brody Jenner hanger-on?! THE MAN BROUGHT US GIRLS GONE WILD! [Socialite Life]
- Lisa Kudrow : time :: Rihanna : Chris Brown. [ICYDK]
