Nov 19 2009Amy Winehouse's tits popped
Amy Winehouse's new breasts apparently sprung a leak over the weekend, according The Mirror:
Telegraphing the news on his Living TV show, Mitch said: "It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little (pointing to his chest) leaky something or other."
A friend of Amy's adds: "She saw something oozing out on to her top. She was worried as they looked wonky and to see stuff seeping out was horrible."
Let's cut to the chase, she thought there was gin inside and the puncture wound's from a bendy straw, wasn't it? Honestly, I'm amazed this didn't happen sooner. And by sooner I mean, "Doctor, she awoke from the anesthesia and went at them like a dog with a chew toy. No, really, look at the bite marks."
Pics link to NSFW versions.
Nov 11 2009Amy Winehouse still flaunting her new tits
Amy Winehouse flailed her fake breasts around some more last night making this the first documented case where a woman's augmented chest failed to distract me from her face. On that note, if you heard what sounded like two tractor-trailers smashing into each other, that was my penis plowing through traffic in a fit of tears. Sorry about that.
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Oct 26 2009Amy Winehouse clearly can't feel the nipples on those things
I didn't plan on writing two posts about Amy Winehouse today, but in my defense, who could've predicted she'd run around London tonight with her brand new bolt-ons hanging out? -- Okay, I should've seen this coming. Lots more to come as soon as I finish starring all these nips and recover from PTSD.
Pics link to NSFW versions.
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Oct 26 2009Amy Winehouse definitely got implants
Here's a newly augmented Amy Winehouse at The 2009 Q Awards in London today and I almost didn't recognize her. Mostly because I expected her to be covered in dead cats and chewing on power lines by this point. You know, because crack just wasn't cutting it anymore.
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Sep 23 2009Ashlee Simpson is leggy and other news
- Kanye West can't be having sex with Amber Rose. Just can't be. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Jude Law has a new daughter because apparently paying child support out the ass is his favorite. [PopEater]
- Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz reunite in Boston, and he seems to be giving her the classic Katie Holmes arm grip. You know, the one that reminds her not to show human emotion or Xenu will Klaxon ray them both to death. Yeah, that one. [Lainey Gossip]
- Amy Winehouse randomly shows up at schools and beats up kids now. What took so long? [Just Jared]
- Trevor Donovan must work out. [PopSugar]
- Kevin Federline will appear on the next season of Celebrity Fit Club and I will call that fat bastard "Messiah" if he eats Dustin Diamond. Messiah. [Celebslam]
- Jackson Rathbone was injured on the set of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Must've been all that lame, non-threatening, dry-humping vampire action. Shit will kill you. [WonderWall]
- Drew Barrymore has mommy issues. Oh, yeah, well Mackenzie Phillips' dad stuck his penis in her for 10 years, so maybe quit your bitching. Just a thought. [The Blemish]
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Aug 19 2009Jon Gosselin has to be kidding me and other news
- Jason Schwartzman got married which was probably awesome until everyone kept comparing the reception to Rushmore. [PopEater]
- Nicole Kidman has been reduced to reality television. Have you no tiny heart in your tiny chest, Tom Cruise?! [Lainey Gossip]
- Renee Zellweger isn't bringing Bradley Cooper on the red carpet yet. Though in all fairness, anything more attractive than a zucchini will make her look ugly by comparison. [PopSugar]
- Ricky Martin takes his "Let's Face It, I'm Gay" twins to the beach. [Just Jared]
- Amy Winehouse might be a contestant on the UK version of Dancing with the Stars. I might hate reality TV with the very essence of my being, but I would watch the fuck out of that. I don't care who knows it. [Celebslam]
- Celine Dion is pregnant with an eight-year-old embryo. Looks like Canadian health care ain't so bad after all. (Ignoring the fact she might've had procedure done in U.S. and is super rich.) [Splash News]
- Brooke Hogan bailed out of a concert in New York because she's stressed out about what people think. Really? I figured she'd be adjusted to the penis theories by now. [The Blemish]
Jul 24 2009Tara Reid is still a sloppy drunk and other news
- Jessica Simpson is looking happy. A little too happy. Which means the McRib's back. Aww yeah! [Lainey Gossip]
- Jennifer Lopez turned 40 today. 40?! So, wait, 10 years ago I was fantasizing about a 30 year old woman's ass? Ahh, gross. Remind me to go back in time and burn myself. Sick. [PopSugar]
- Amy Winehouse has been acquitted of assault charges for attacking a dancer trying to take her picture. Wait. Who's Amy Winehouse again? More importantly, does she have 800 Asian children? That shit is so in right now. [PopEater]
- Kelly Clarkson continues her journey to become a modern day Mama Cass. Someone hide the ham sandwiches. [Celebslam]
- Rihanna goes for the Ace Ventura look. Oh re-e-e-ally? -- Shoot me. Shoot me now. [The Blemish]
- Gwyneth Paltrow debones a chicken on GOOP. That "DAYAMN!" you just heard was Colonel Sanders' ghost who just informed me he'd "eleven herbs dat ass." [Just Jared]
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Jun 3 2009Bar Rafaeli gets naked-like for Esquire
- George Clooney bags another cocktail waitress. I don't like to brag but I've brought home a few barmaids in my day, and only two ended up having penises. In your face, Clooney! [Lainey Gossip]
- Kevin Federline is making $30,000 to bang his girlfriend in London while pretending to watch his kids which pretty much kicks the shit out of any of Jesus' miracles. Sure, he brought a dead guy back to life, but did he get paid? These are the questions we must ask ourselves. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Amy Winehouse's months-long vacation in St. Lucia is being funded by her record label in hopes she'll shit out another album. So far the only things that've come out are two jet skis, a Yeti and Pete Doherty. So that's where he's been. [Celebslam]
- Stephanie Pratt is dating Asher Roth who happens to be, I can't believe I'm typing this, Spencer's rap rival. How the entire hip-hop industry hasn't been a gun in its mouth is beyond me. [Just Jared]
- Cameron Diaz admits to getting a nose job and wishes she could have a bigger butt. Has she tried attacking Kim Kardashian with a chisel? Just a thought. [I'm Not Obsessed]
