Jan 20 2009Barack H. Obama: The 44th President of The United States
President Barack Hussein Obama was officially sworn in just moments ago to a mammoth crowd in Washington, D.C. Whether you voted for him, or not. Believe in his message of change, or remain apprehensive. A monumental moment in America's history happened today that will be one for the history books.
Now, about my 401k....
Dedicated to the GDAB and my brother Josh for serving his country.
Jan 19 2009Heidi & Spencer just sold you out, GOP
During the 2008 Election, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were good little gold-diggers and shilled for Sarah Palin. Well, here's pics of Chins and Douchebeard giving President-elect Obama the love, in case any Republicans out there actually liked them based on their political views. I'm not trying to perpetuate any stereotypes with the following suggestion, but now would be a good time to load your guns. That said, anyone else surprised they're not holding 40s?
Nov 5 2008Kim Kardashian surprisingly confident about squeezing into a voting booth
Kim Kardashian voted yesterday in Beverly Hills and performed her patriotic duty by combining ample cleavage and democracy. Your country salutes you, Kim! In the meantime, she really let Barack Obama down by not writing "Obama '08: The Change We Need! (Note: Got Lots More Room For Words Just Sayin')" across her ass. When you support a candidate, you should use every weapon in your arsenal to spread the word. Just like Heidi Montag should've ran around topless with "McCain/Palin" across her plastic rack. That's just common courtesy, folks.
Continue Reading "Kim Kardashian surprisingly confident about squeezing into a voting booth"
Nov 4 2008Barack Obama is the President of the United States
Ladies and Gentleman, Barack H. Obama: The nation's first African-American president!
An historic moment that none of us will ever forget.
The Superficial will return to its regularly scheduled chicanery tomorrow. But goddamn what a night.
EDIT: Just hell fucking yeah! I'm sorry, but this is a day a lot of people never thought they'd see. I might be a guy who cracks jokes about his penis and loves breasts more than life itself, but what a monumental moment for America. Just incredible. You may now fire away at my political views because, shit, that's just another reason this country is awesome. Freedom of speech. G'night, guys!
Nov 4 2008Carrie Underwood bitch-slaps Hollywood
Country music star Carrie Underwood has no love for celebrities who can't keep their endorsements to themselves, according to TV Guide:
"There is someone I do support, but I don't support publicly. I lose all respect for celebrities when they back a candidate. It's saying that the American public isn't smart enough to make their own decisions.
You're right, Carrie Underwood, celebrities should stop endorsing candidates. (Except for McLovin. That kid's hilarious!) Which is why you should bikini wrestle Lindsay Lohan and Elisabeth Hasselbeck in the mudpit I made with a garden hose out back. But don't do it for the camera hidden in the lawn gnome. Do it for democracy!
Nov 4 2008Lindsay Lohan just cost Barack Obama some more votes
Obviously Lindsay Lohan didn't get the memo from the Obama campaign to "Kindly, STFU!" because she decided to blog one last time encouraging people to vote. Ha ha, she thinks she has fans. Adorable. From her MySpace page:
Sorry i haven't blogged in a minute.. i've been traveling and trying to catch up on sleep! I thought it was important to just put a message out there tonight for anyone that is on myspace at the moment.. So, here goes.. I cannot say how important it is for everyone to get out there and vote tomorrow... The future of our country depends on it. Just one vote can make such a difference... Vote-because your thoughts are worth it..VOTE-because YOU can make this country a better place...VOTE-because you can.
I feel like i have so much more to say, but the only thing that needs to be said right now, is for people to get out there and VOTE.
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
obama for president :)
VOTE NO ON PROP 8
VOTE NO ON PROP 4
If you're out voting today and someone bursts through the door yelling, "Linds Linds told me to vote! Hoo-RAY!" here's what I want you to do:
1. Vote for your respective candidate. Doesn't matter who, just do it - because you're about to commit a felony.
2. Pick up the Diebold voting machine and beat the everliving snot out of the Lindsay fan. (If you're worried about damaging the machine's calibration, don't worry. It wasn't calibrated to begin with.)
3. Grab a roll of "I Voted!" stickers.
4. Run to Starbucks and load up on free coffees.
5. Avoid arrest. (If arrested, remember: Nobody likes a rat, and you don't even know what a superficial is.)
U.S.A.!
Continue Reading "Lindsay Lohan just cost Barack Obama some more votes"
Nov 2 2008Sarah Palin probably shot whoever screens her calls
Two radio DJs from Quebec, who are famous for pulling prank calls, somehow managed to get a hold of Sarah Palin on Saturday and convinced her she was talking to French President Nicolas Sarkozy. And she fucking fell for it. For the record, that is really, no joke, Sarah Palin on the line. Her campaign handlers are obviously pissed but, like idiots, confirmed the interview took place. I would've lied my face off because nobody is listening to this thing and thinking "Oh, yes, let's hand this woman nuclear arm codes. That'll end well." We'll be the only nation in history to perish in an atomic holocaust because The Jerky Boys got through the White House switchboard. Sign me up for that.
Nov 2 2008John McCain meets Tina Fey's Sarah Palin
Before we dive into today's posting, did everyone remember to set your clocks back? If you didn't, congratulations, you can smoke/drink/pray to the Baby Jesus your face off for another hour because you're ahead of the game!
The Superficial: We're Like a Freakin' National Treasure Over Here.
Senator John McCain stopped by Saturday Night Live last night and has to know he lost this thing. He did a QVC infomercial with Tina Fey's Sarah Palin and this sketch had everything: Joe Biden, William Ayers, Cindy McCain (The real one!) and the infamous "Rogue Sarah." Give it a watch then try not to build a time machine so you can jump ahead to Wednesday before you jab yourself in the eye with a lapel pin. In the meantime, I need to see a man about a flux capacitor.
UPDATE: It was a shoe. Never trust the homeless.
