Feb 5 2010
Tiger Woods is cured!
Tiger Woods has completed his stay in rehab and just wants to get back to making millions of dollars which, when you think about it, is what got him here in the first place. PopEater reports:
Woods, who has not seen his two children for more than a month, has been living in a small cabin and attending group therapy sessions at the clinic, called Gentle Path.
According to the Melbourne Herald Sun, Woods could be back playing competitive golf as early as Feb. 17 at the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship in Tucson.
"Only a fortnight after allegedly checking into a sex addiction clinic in Mississippi, the world No. 1 is set to stun the world by returning to the Dove Mountain course where he made his comeback from knee surgery last year," according to the newspaper.
Of course anyone who believes Tiger Woods was attempting any kind of rehabilitation is kidding themselves. I'll bet you five cocktail waitresses this was all a front for his lawyers and Elin to talk to some sense into him.
TIGER: So you're telling me I could save my family OR drop $80 mil right now, proceed to hemorrhage money for the rest of my life but still bang all the women I want? Interesting...
ELIN: *puts on brass knuckles*
TIGER: Haha, did I say "interesting?" I meant, when's dinner? -- Sweetheart.
Photos: Getty
Reader Comments
1. bozo - February 5, 2010 10:53 AM
first!
2. Ripper Owens - February 5, 2010 11:05 AM
If I were his gold digging wife, I would give Tiger is a Swift kick in the Cock!
3. Boogeyman King Dong - February 5, 2010 11:13 AM
Crabs are easy to treat.
4. daguz - February 5, 2010 11:22 AM
genital path... haha
5. Taz - February 5, 2010 11:25 AM
Tiger is the one who got the tournament moved to Tucson
6. Inmate #2648927 - February 5, 2010 11:25 AM
So what did they do?
Amputate his unit?
7. elin woods - February 5, 2010 11:26 AM
is still hot.
8. jt - February 5, 2010 11:36 AM
what a goofy looking guy.
9. Richard McBeef - February 5, 2010 11:41 AM
Always wondered how sex addict rehab worked. seems like it would be a great place to get laid.
10. Alli Watermelon - February 5, 2010 11:43 AM
Why the hell would you knock someone for getting help? And...why would you knock a married couple for actually trying to WORK their problems out opposed to get divorced like everybody else? I'm not saying I would be able to stand by my husband through all of that, but kudos to someone who will at least try. It's obvious the guy has fucking issues and a awful sex addiction. Addiction is addiction, regardless if it's drugs or sex. Stop being so negative.
11. joho777 - February 5, 2010 11:45 AM
So Tiger Woods is "cured?" What did they do, geld him?
Elin, give up. Get your share and start a new life with someone real.
12. Morganzola - February 5, 2010 11:50 AM
@#11 - heh heh
He's not cured, he just knows better now than to fool around with chicks that have 8x10 glossies and an agent.
13. Megan - February 5, 2010 11:59 AM
#10 -
Because sex addiction is fucking made up and doesn't exist. People just try to make excuses and blame other people for them just wanting to be whores and fucking as many things as possible. He sure didn't care about getting help until he got caught and almost lost an extra $80 million. Don't fucking delude yourself. His wife would have looked so much better and less like a gold digging masochist if she just took the money and left. Any person who would try to work shit out with their spouse after being put through all that shit deserves no kudos and not one ounce of respect.
14. Jethro - February 5, 2010 12:41 PM
Good luck Tiger, put your family first.
15. mensa - February 5, 2010 12:52 PM
I agree with everything that #13 just said.
16. Doc Schweinstrudel - February 5, 2010 2:29 PM
They look so filthy rich, gosh what clothes, the sweet suburb, kidm football game and elegant party...if he wasn't such a worthless cheater, their life could be quiet nice actually.
Remember, kiddies. Once a cheater, kick him in the nuts and never NEVER look back.
17. TheNewJudgment - February 5, 2010 3:14 PM
What did the rehab do? Chop off that black bird? So those without the zillions dollars can bang around with illegitimate kids, demanded to live off lavishly using childcare support, gamble with kids lives, threatened with endless lawsuits while those with zillion awaiting death sentence in court to extort the zillions through use of kids, conservators, drugs, rehab, personality issues? The new fashion of Hollywood legal proceedings?
18. yuck - February 5, 2010 3:20 PM
A gorgeous scandinavian and an ugly chinkger together. Makes me sick. She should have left the homely fucker and found someone of her color is Sweden.
19. Zézé - February 5, 2010 3:20 PM
Why on earth did he need some slut to f*** when his wife is so freaking HOT? Just her face gives me a boner, let alone her sweet body.
20. looproof - February 5, 2010 3:47 PM
What's with those ill fitting suits, you'd think he could afford to wear something properly fitted.
21. See Alice - February 5, 2010 4:22 PM
They should be married . They look alike .
22. Abe - February 5, 2010 4:45 PM
A Psychiatrist, surgically attached electrodes to his scrotum, and his left Cerebellum. . Every-time he thinks of cheatingon his wife he gets a shock to the nut-sac.
Elin can also shock him manually whenever she pleases with a remote on her wrist.
23. Abe - February 5, 2010 4:46 PM
A Psychiatrist, surgically attached electrodes to his scrotum, and his left Cerebellum. . Every time he thinks of cheating on his wife he gets a shock to the nut-sac.
Elin can also shock him manually whenever she pleases with a remote on her wrist.
24. Peter North - February 5, 2010 4:48 PM
In a cabin by himself for a month that treats sex addiction? Who knew log cabins had spackled ceilings?
25. Pal - February 5, 2010 6:44 PM
"So what did they do?
Amputate his unit?"
No, but she's got him by the balls.
26. shortcake - February 5, 2010 6:55 PM
it was uncle tom's cabin
27. markymark - February 5, 2010 8:49 PM
And of course anyone who would believe anything written in that piece of shit newspaper would believe that he was sucking Elvis's cock while he was in the cabin....
28. Hunter - February 5, 2010 9:01 PM
It would be a serious mistake for Tiger to reenter into golf in a match play event. Not to mention his poor record, he needs to take more time to himself to practice and ensure a smoother transition into the PGA. Match play isn't the way to go.
What do you mean this isn't a sports criticism website?
Oh... well, yay for sex.
29. Art - February 5, 2010 9:54 PM
Tiger's really working hard to disprove those stereotypes. Black guy who thinks with his dick and spends his time chasing white pussy. Ranks right up there with Michael Vick running a dogfighting ring and Gilbert Arenas pulling a gun on a teammate over a game of cards (are we sure it wasn't dominoes?). Guess they "gotta keep it hood" huh? Has Jesse Jackson blamed this on the racist media yet?
30. Blech - February 5, 2010 11:33 PM
Erm, I still speculate that Tiger Woods is gay. Sorry.
31. nlk - February 5, 2010 11:57 PM
Make a REAL wish!
make a wish: http://www.real-wishes.com
8,888 wishes granted, after that, no more wishes will be granted...
~*Believe*~
32. Tire Swing - February 6, 2010 12:38 AM
Well, sex rehab worked for Eric Benet, David Duchovny, and Charlie Sheen. Gone. Those guys don't even think of pussy anymore unless they're married to it.
33. Jeff - February 6, 2010 1:29 AM
what an ugly fucking kid, but what do you expect when you mix races
poor elin
34. em - February 6, 2010 1:55 AM
#33 she's really cute. Whats your problem, hmmm, let's see ignorant...racist,....stupid.....uneducated......I could go on and on, but it' not worth my effort or time
35. NFL Draft - February 6, 2010 2:10 AM
the man is tiger?> i cant recognize
36. Super White Teeth - February 6, 2010 6:47 AM
I don't think ehab has made any change in him. Believe him but with a pinch!!
37. BC2DR Brand - February 6, 2010 11:59 AM
He who cheats on wife, gets beat up by wife, and forced to rehab for sex by wife.. must get back to work to stay away from wife!
38. RE - February 6, 2010 12:10 PM
#33,
Hold on to that false sense of superiority if it makes you feel any better about your own shortcomings, but he's still more athletic, most probably smarter and better education (went to Stanford University before he decided to turn pro), and certainly richer.
39. RE - February 6, 2010 12:12 PM
...better educated... I hate typos.
40. adelaide dancing - February 7, 2010 1:59 AM
lol, my interest in golf actually increased after "that" incident
41. Kitty Furry - February 7, 2010 2:14 AM
she's staying with him because she obviously hates him...damned white bitches trying to keep a brother down......shyt
42. links of london jewellery - February 7, 2010 4:17 AM
...better educated... I hate typos.
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45. small business health insurance - February 7, 2010 9:15 PM
still better than john edwards
46. sammyboy102889 - February 8, 2010 12:38 AM
its good to hear that woods is going to be back.
watch house
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