Andy Dick arrested for drunkenly grabbing penises

Because it's been two years since he's reminded people he's the most annoying drunk on Earth, Andy Dick was arrested for sexual abuse after grabbing the crotches of two male employees at a bar in West Virginia, according to the AP:
Dick was arraigned Saturday afternoon in Cabell County Magistrate Court. Court documents say he's accused of grabbing a bouncer's crotch and groping and kissing a male patron earlier in the morning at a bar in Huntington. Magistrate Patty Verbage Spence set bail at $60,000.
"Andy is stunned by these allegations and we are strongly denying any criminal conduct," Dick's attorney, Jeff Rubenstein, said in a statement.
Really? Andy Dick is "stunned" by these allegations? Because I'm pretty sure he heard he ran around grabbing cocks like they were free candy at a parade and went "That sounds about right." Then blew a chihuahua.

Reader Comments
1. cate - January 24, 2010 6:47 PM
Ohh my God... this guy is so disgusting. Glad to see he hasn't changed one bit.
2. Janna - January 24, 2010 6:47 PM
Virginia, not Virgina.
3. Janna - January 24, 2010 6:50 PM
How amazing that you fixed it.
4. jim eh - January 24, 2010 6:51 PM
This is sickening, 60 000$ bail? why because he's a celebrity, it's another way for the city to make some cash.
5. dicklint - January 24, 2010 6:54 PM
I don't think Andy Dick qualifies as a celebrity...
6. LeMeow - January 24, 2010 6:59 PM
This is fucking hilarious.
7. Gueibor - January 24, 2010 7:12 PM
Nomen est Omen.
8. Keashawn - January 24, 2010 7:14 PM
His last name is ominous in so many ways...
9. Keashawn - January 24, 2010 7:14 PM
Damn you 7!
10. dawn - January 24, 2010 7:16 PM
andy dick drunk and grabbing dick? NO!
11. Humpinfrog - January 24, 2010 7:27 PM
Why hasn't someone beaten this idiot to an inch of his life and think, "American converted to the Metric system about four hundred years ago, didn't they?", and beat him to a millimeter of his life? I'm not getting it!
12. vicmorrow - January 24, 2010 7:53 PM
Yeah, he was actually arrested in my hometown.. at a bar called rum runners.
Not the hippest bar.
13. bmose - January 24, 2010 8:01 PM
I guess it's time to annoy Dr. Drew again.
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15. Dank24 - January 24, 2010 8:46 PM
His initials are A. Dick. Need i say more? Isn't it obvious to everyone that this guy is the worlds biggest closest queer? Seriously Andy, you're gay.We all know it, just admit it already.
Wait, you did this weekend. Never mind.
16. Turtle Lovin' - January 24, 2010 9:18 PM
He's beyond annoying. I wish he would go with Tila Tequila to the airport and they'd both get sucked down the airport toilets together.
17. he's a homo - January 24, 2010 9:19 PM
Ok, it's obvious this dude is a closeted homo who can't deal with the fact that he likes sucking schlongs. Time to end it, sicko...
18. buy nintendo dsi r4 - January 24, 2010 9:47 PM
I know you had to add this in the middle of the night, but could you tell us what kinds of acts would constitute felony sexual abuse? Is that rape or child molestation? It sounds bad.
19. JaidenPaidIn - January 24, 2010 11:10 PM
This is Excellent.
The guy is a Douchemeister
Hopefully he see some jail time and more penises.
20. Scdo - January 24, 2010 11:41 PM
I he grabbed MY balls, I'd have to kill him.
21. please go away - January 24, 2010 11:57 PM
He is aptly named.
22. Milandir - January 25, 2010 1:27 AM
FFS, grabbing male penises in a bar in WV.
He is lucky he wasn't beaten to death.
23. Morpheus - January 25, 2010 1:31 AM
Elena di Cioccio grabbed David Beckam's crotch. She will be fined with 60,000, too?
I guess she won't, because "she's a woman".
Feminazi world.
24. Tipop - January 25, 2010 1:48 AM
@15 and @17
Um, guys... "Admit you're gay" and "He's a closeted homo"... really? Good lord, please don't speak if you're ignorant on a subject. Andy Dick has NEVER claimed to be straight. He's always been completely open about being bisexual.
There are plenty of reasons to dislike or even hate Andy Dick, but telling him to admit to being gay is like telling Robin Williams to admit to having a lot of body hair.
25. pizazzidazzle - January 25, 2010 2:33 AM
Sad. He's been trying for so long to give up the booze for a long time. His children must be so embarrassed.
26. Live Cam Sex Guys - January 25, 2010 2:56 AM
Andy Dick Hancock.
27. NO BETTER WAY TO "GRAB" ATTENTION - January 25, 2010 8:09 AM
Are you absolutely sure he was drunk?
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29. ejit - January 25, 2010 8:59 AM
I'm going to try very hard not to do the name thing.
Too obvious.
......
DICK!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Yeah, no I couldn't stop myself.
30. J - January 25, 2010 12:01 PM
Somebody remind this loser that he really isn't a celebrity
and if he is going to grab male genitalia he'll have to pay
the cover charge at the local gay bar so he can annoy and
molest gay men.
31. spiritkittykat - January 25, 2010 1:52 PM
Wait...Huntington, WV has a bar? I've been there. I know they have a school, a movie theatre and some other crap, so I guess it's possible.
Oh, and , eww!
32. BeelzebubRules - January 25, 2010 4:18 PM
This is why celebrities should never leave LA.
In West Virginia, it's sexual abuse. In LA, it's a job interview.
33. Morpheus - January 25, 2010 4:27 PM
There will be jail for Elena di Cioccio?
She grabbed David Beckham's crotch.
34. timmy the dying boy - January 25, 2010 9:59 PM
He's lucky he didn't get beaten to a bloody pulp. That would have been funny.
35. Veronica - January 26, 2010 2:30 PM
@32 hahahaha
according to his appearances on the Adam Carolla podcast, he's been sober for over a year and wears a monitoring ankle bracelet. It would suck to think he threw that all away for some redneck cock.
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