May 27 2009Melissa Joan Hart in a bikini

FIRST, FUCKERS

Frist.

Fatty.

Oh how brave? what does she wants a medal?

I'd tap it now, but if she looked like that porker in the corner once, she could do it again. Get ready to run.

I wouldnt care if she was a fatty i'd hit it all the time every time

Her husband is HOT.

This is the chick with the lazy eye right? Pass

"I dont have to be heavy just because i have kid?

That might be the dumbest statement ever uttered.

from fat and flat > to flat

Yeah she didn't get that creepy lazy eye fixed. That should've come before the tummy tuck

I guess being a teenage witch isn't all it's cracked up to be - at some point you have to stop eating everything you see.
(Time to file my Eat Like a Warlock book)

-no milk wagons, might as well get fat again

Oh shut the fuck up superficial writer. You saying that is like Hitler calling out racism.

That's a body to be proud on! Fit looking body!

The cover should read:

How I lost 42 lbs!

Clarissa explains it all.

Lots of hot sex keeps the body fit as well!

Hey I just realized, I don't have to be stick thin just because I'm childless.

It isn't even airbrushed! Still looks good!

coke

@ 17

...yeah...but hot sex isn't really "hot" when a bitch is 155 lbs.

...it's a reason to bleach your dick after you sober up.

ZING

The most remarkable change is her face! I wouldn't recognize her!

Ok, so she saw a picture of herself and THAT prompted her to lose the weight? What, did all the mirrors in her house just up and dissapear? Or did she eat those too? Her weight losing excuse would be like me becoming any less than the anti-semite I am because I saw pictures of the concentration camps. Point is that neither of these make me less sympathetic.

Hollywood wouldn't hire her before. And they sure as shit aren't going to hire her when she's a zeppelin. Good job losing the weight. You still look like shit.

#21It might not be hot for the guy, but it might be hot for her ; )

What is she talking about? she got hired before that, didnt she appear as that pink dancing pig in that annoying white castle commercial...I could be wrong...

no thanks.

DO NOT WANT

Why do people care about woman's bodies so much? Its creepy. Imagine if we were this obsessed with mens bodies. Men would never leave their houses I'm sure.

That's one hot looking mama!

Wouldn't it been better if she and her Sabrina co-star Caroline Rhea did Celebrity Biggest Loser?

"...I don't have to be heavy just because I have kids"

That's sure to endear her all those fat fuck, People Magazine reading mommies who have been using the "because had a kid" excuse everyday of their sloppy adult lives.

Take a lesson every newspaper in the United States that's trying to stay afloat...THIS is how you sell a publication. Throw your model under a bus and insult your readership. Gotta love it.

I used to whack to this bitch in middle school! I never noticed anything about her eye. I'd SLAY that.

I LOVE MJH !

texas hair=major pukeage

#28...does that mean it's OK for me to go outside?

Sorry, but unless that bitch is 4'9" she doesn't weigh 113 lbs.

I heard her labia hang down to her knees.

Maybe she will change her mind and finally do Playboy.

She's right! I thought she was huge until a few seconds ago, and she blamed her children.

I thought she was nifty until her standard "all skanked up" maneuver in Maxim.

You people are all nuts, and obsessed with being crackhead skinny, and it's mostly a white people thing! She looks ok, she had an AMAZING ASS when she was on Sabrina, I wanted to hit it then, and I'd still love to hit it!!!!!

You people are all nuts, and obsessed with being crackhead skinny, and it's mostly a white people thing! She looks ok, she had an AMAZING ASS when she was on Sabrina, I wanted to hit it then, and I'd still love to hit it!!!!!

Heavy... is a word used to describe bags of rocks.
FAT.. is a word used to describe how she looked.
While she was indeed heavy, that weight comprised mostly of FAT.

She looks fine now. Good for her.

Oh yeah, pressure pressure. The pressure couldn't have been too bad, otherwise you wouldn't have been fat your entire career, and obese after you had the kids. You know, you would not have been fat in the first place.

Don't you mean the pressure of having no fame and needing something to get you back in the headlines? Nothing like a weight loss story. But what a low to stoop to.

BTW.. we ALL know you are NOT anywhere NEAR 113 lbs. The Olsens are around that weight when they are healthy, and not much smaller when they are anorexic. Anorexics are like 80 or 90lbs. So no way she is 20lbs more. She looks about 155lbs NOW. Way more before.

She looks like every other mom that wears her PJ's and slippers to walk the kids down to meet the school bus.

My neighbor's wife does this, and I swear she crams her PJ's into her cameltoe just so I can see it. All these semi-hot housewives know they're 10X hotter than these plastic, boob enhanced Hollywood celebutards.

Where's the sex tape?

The cover should read:

"I'm STILL past my prime!"

anyone remember her shoot for maxim several years ago? she was pretty hot.

Aren't they just photoshopping her, Valerie Bertinelli, and Marie Osmond's head on the same body?

.

yall are gay as hell

damned if you do, damned if you don't. fish says she's perpetuating the image, but if she wasn't he'd make fun of her weight. "well played," fish.

What's up with the 80's mop head. Bitch looks like a poodle. there's obviously something wrong with her. She wasn't a teenage witch she was an idiot savant. ;)

she looks heavier than 155lb in the magazine photo.

Clarissa Explains it all is looking kinda good. She needs those saggy tits fixed though, maybe a lift or breast implants.

Melissa:
You were 1 Hot Babe on Sabrina & now your even hotter! Love to see you in a String Bikini!!!!
Doc Harry C
SW Pa.

I think she looks better in the fat picture

Good luck with that (Doc Harry C) I'm sure she'll find your post and use her celebrity z list status to send you a picture.

She came to my sorority house for a Bama game (she's related to an AGD), and was a total snob. She wasn't cute at all...didn't even remotely resemble that picture and this was before she was fat.

**CASTING CALL**

I am doing an adult remake titled "Sabrina the Teenage Cunt Muffin"

2 Parts remaining:

I am looking for teenagers with vaginas that resemble baked goods, specifically muffins. ($150/scene)

Also, I am looking for a black cat who doesnt mind performing cunnilingus on a teenager with a muffin shaped vagina. ($40/scene)

Contact me at powrightinthekissa1@yahoo.com

As a photographer, I can honestly say that this has been photoshopped, and badly....you can see the upper part of her arms are smooth, as they should be.....but look at her tummy, thighs, and butt....the lines are raggedy, because someone tried to flesh out dimples, fat, and cellulite and couldn't smooth out the edges....I hate when stuff like this is presented as a standard for women, when the person pictured doesn't even look like that! Also pissed that the dude who took this photograph was paid big time and got cover of a major magazine, all because of this shitty work.

Wait, gimme a break. She is not 113 lbs in that photo -- unless she's like 5'1" or something. (which... she's not? right?) The BEFORE pic makes her look like she's pushing 200 lbs.

I agree with the fish, badly played. Wait, is she still pretending she's a celebrity? She hasn't done anything in like the last 5 years!

She's 5'2", and as a person of the same height, it's totally believable that she is 113 in that photo.

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wow she looks great!

No, it is not.
Most 5 foot 9!!!!! models weigh that. Do you understand ??? Even if she was 113 she would still be fat at that height. She looks around 130 or 140 on the mag, even at her height which is around 5 foot yes.

Is this a west coast cover? I thought I saw the side stories but seems I would have noticed her.

When does "Clarissa Bares It All" come out?

all of you wish you could hit that she wouldn't give any of you the time of day.... all of your comments are .....................beep... get a life.. and stop being so mean...

man she is so hot i still spank out the easy 1 before i before i bang the old lady thinking about her, i would muckle on to that fat sexy ass and never let go!