Apr 1 2009Heidi Montag, die. Die now.

Someone needs to explain to her you can't get pregnant if you're the one wearing the strapon

April fools, you idiots.

Wow, she sure is funny and pretty and interesting.

Whatever she sure has the face of an angel though. She never should have got those boobs she didn't need them her body is great unless you gotta have big boobs.

a) i thought they slept w/pillows between them to prevent such a thing

b) pregnancy should do interesting and terrible things to those implants...

That dog she funny she think totem pole alive!

OMG! Her mouth is open again!!!! no surprise. except for the flys coming from her mouth!!!

And you did what she wanted-- gave her the publicity!

Holy fuck. I shat myself. Thank goodness it was an April Fool's.

Holy fuck. I shat myself. Thank goodness it was an April Fool's.

Yeah, Heidi Montag, I'd like to introduce Chris Brown. Chris, this is Heidi.

Yeah, Heidi Montag, I'd like to introduce Chris Brown. Chris, this is Heidi.

Shes ugly as hell. And also I feel bad for the kid for many reasons not just the fact that if it's a girl it's gonna feel damn unwanted.

double. double, toil and trouble...

You only hate her because you're jealous.

Mmmm.......Boobs.

I hate her nooose its so obviously fake.

she's so lame.

How cute! Now she's doucheing for two!

you make a lot of vile jokes, but that was probably one of the funniest captions i have read from you.

so am i

"That dog she funny she think totem pole alive!"

Wow. I'm at a loss for words.

Don't like blondes or women for that matter do you cumcatcher?

That look on her face....looks like she just took a huge fucking dump on someones chest...

God how I hate that bitch...

she isn't as ugly and ghetto as christina aguilera.

When the inevitable happens, I hope Snoop Dog is the father.

Well, we know who the dad is because there is only one jackass that would fuck her.

why did you even post this fucking shit, it only pisses people off. no one wants to have anything to do with her. she. does. not. matter.

jesus.

and yeah, she really should just swallow her tongue and die a terrible death. but that goes without saying.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest if she did die right now.

I would fuck the living shit out of this bitch. Wait. I'm not into anal. Correction:

I would fuck the living Preparation H out of this bitch's vaginal canal.

@27 - I can't argue with that.
but I do think "dad" is Steely Dan

I'm curious: AMERICANS REALLY LOVE IT TO BE FOOLED?
(it must be, folks)

But will she have 8? Only her fertility doctor knows for sure

i hate that bitch

CLICK ON MY NAME

who? who? twit? who?

This girl is beautiful. But she is more annoying than beautiful and that's pretty fuckin annoying!

Hollywood always rewards annoying attention whores like her. At least she's worth looking at.

One Word: Eugenics

As if. Everyone knows a post-op tranny can't actually knock-up a real woman.

I'm pretty sure she and Tori Spelling go to the same surgeon.

Hola

ok maybe I can take the fake tits, but the mentality of a chick that thinks she's not worthy enuf to carry the short hair she naturally possesses so "sews" or how ever she keeps that creepy dead, fake hair shit to stay makes me question her crediblitlity and Ms. Thing has put herself on the judges chambers and I say she's a total dork that happened to hit the jack pot by being in the right place at the right time with the right douche and she's a total dork!

ok maybe I can take the fake tits, but the mentality of a chick that thinks she's not worthy enuf to carry the short hair she naturally possesses so "sews" or how ever she keeps that creepy dead, fake hair shit to stay makes me question her crediblitlity and Ms. Thing has put herself on the judges chambers and I say she's a total dork that happened to hit the jack pot by being in the right place at the right time with the right douche and she's a total dork!

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If you post anything about this idiot again, I will hunt you down and beat you about the head with your own well-used copy of the Victoria's secret catalogue. And god help you if you post anything about her "boy"friend.

Still luv ur site xoxo

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Christian. Right.

She should get naked before she wrecks everything with a baby.

Anyone stoopid enough to care deserves to be disappointed. She ain't your sister, she ain't your friend, so what do you care if she's knocked up or not.

is she allowed to reproduce ??????

Her left boob is misshaped. LMAO!! She looked SO much prettier before she got plastic surgery. Oh wait, doesn't everyone? HA HA

When asked today if her twttered comment was indeed a sinful revelation, the horsefaced C lister responded with a simple "neeeeeeeeigh" before she galloped off.

She is an idiot.

Heidi Montag walks into a bar and the bartender says, Hey, stupid, why the long face?

Oh yeah? Well she walked into another bar coughing and the bartender said "Hey moron, feeling a bit hoarse?"

OFCOURSE IT'S APRIL FOOLS. THAT'S A MAN, BABY.

Hola!

I think many of you are being too hard on Heidi. Yes, she is a low-rent phony wannabe with the personality of a cabbage, and yes, she does "date" an obvious gay man - but inside she is a person as well, and I think we should remember that before we post disturbing or hateful things. And let's remember... she does have a nice ass. So force yourself to be a better person and find something nice to say.... Hey, she has never been convicted of domestic or foreign terrorism. She has never been convicted of molesting beanie babies. Try it... you'll feel better.

damn it fish stop posting mr. and miss douche!

This is the first recorded time that a woman became pregnant by ramming a dildo up her "fiance's" ass.

I liked her better before she had big fake boobs but that's because I don't like boobs.

I want to choke slam her onto my bed and lick her cross eyed.

Didn't think guys could get pregnant. Wait... what do you mean she's not, a guy that is?

JRZ-

Heidi wants to know why hee hawlways says that?

#15 has it right...

If it were REALLY April Fool's, you would not have posted this, Phish!
Because we all know it would be the ultimate irony for you to actually keep your word about never posting a thing about this douchenozzle and her pet jerkass, again.

Hey, Heidi...what's with the long face?

Those implant are amazing! I want one of those, too... Also: she'll break up with Spencer, than she'll have an abortion, CAUSE THAT'S SOOO MUCH PUBLICITIY, OMG!...

#59 - HAHAHAHAHA

#63 - If I knock this mare don't and she sprains a leg, can we destroy her right on the track?

Ok, who hacked my post and replaced "down" with "don't"???

(Stares at Zanna)

it looks like all of the baby weight went to her chin

I was just about to say where is her white trash boyfriend and is nasty flesh colored beard because she is never in pictures alone, then I saw the last picture! There he is!! LOL How can she put up with that trash bag, she's actually not bad looking minus the fake blonde hair and the bolt on tits.

I think these stars are getting confused between a trick or gag and just plain lying.

whats the point telling the word shes pregnant - shes female (i assume) - thats what females are capable of ?

ffs - its like her announcing "today I had coco-pops" , then saying the day after "hahah - i had cornflakes really "

WHO F**KING CARES!!! Who is she anyway.......

You promised we wouldn't have to see her ugly face again :(

I still think she looks like Ben Affleck in a wig.

Heidi really has that empty Britney Spears' expression that says:

"Hi, I'm not in right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll try to call you when I return."

what's up with her boobs? Yack. Someone said in a comment above she has the face of an angel? what?? What angel? The angel of death! She has the face of a moron, impossible to hide.

Doesn't she has anything else to say!? Empty headed!

Pic #4: I don't blame them for closing their eyes.

That isn't the most flattering picture of her and saying that someone should die is disrespectful. I know this is the superficial, but life is still should mean something to you people...w/e

More proof Twitter is a wretched hive of scum and celebritard faggotry.

You can't really say she's "ugly." Ugly is my next-door neighbour. If you were forced to choose between spending the rest of your days with Heidi or my next-door neighbour, you would pick Heidi and you would say thank you. Thankfully, none of you will ever have to make that decision.

I will agree, however, that she has an oversized chin and doesn't look very bright. Her biggest talent seems to be having her picture taken.

Good to see that her implants have settled. They looked really bolted on before.

PS--rot.

Good to see that her implants have settled. They looked really bolted on before.

PS--rot.

I cant help it....I KNOW I'M GOING TO GET SLAUGHTERED....BUT.....

She has GORGEOUS hair. I dont care if they are extensions....it's gorgeous hair. Long, flowing, blonde. Best kind of hair.
She has a FANTASTIC, FIT body. I dont care if her boobs are fake. She looks brilliant in bikinis.
She has 90% of the time, GREAT fashion sense....at least she doesnt wear $2 Sale bin clothes from Kmart like fucktard Angelina clone, Megan (f)cox.
She has LOVELY eyes and flawless skin and great teeth....again, I dont care if it's all fake or real....she looks AWESOME!

I'd love to look like her.

Big chin, Spencer freak on her arm, no intelligent bone in her body and her tendency to pose like its the last camera man on Earth are the only things I cant stand about her.

Yes, they are D-Grade celebrities.....

But I think she's gorgeous. I cant help it.

Please don't hurt me........*covers face*....

Who the fuck is Heidi Montag?

Ewwwww..... gross..... pussy & tits....

Reality TV = bad excuse for horrible acting.

Boycott all 'reality' tv shows so we can get some decent shit to watch back.

has anybody nocited that she looks spencer, with big boobs, and fake hair, lots of caked on makeup, seriously people why do care she's not even famous!!!! besides we know the hills is a shitty show and its all scripted

has anybody nocited that she looks spencer, with big boobs, and fake hair, lots of caked on makeup, seriously people why do care she's not even famous!!!! besides we know the hills is a shitty show and its all scripted

She looks "spencer"? What does that even mean, foo'?