Apr 23 2009Gwyneth Paltrow is a dear friend. If you're not a fatty.

me, me

Fourth!

Feck. Only second.

Every time I see these pathetic dweeb bitch I have a compulsion to whack her across her face with a 2x4. A 2x4 with a nail poking through it. A 2x4 with a RUSTY nail poking through it.

i'm fourth

no, sixth

she's starting to look old. Not really old. But you can tell.

I would goop all over her face.

But seriously, fat people disturb me too. Nothing says "I have no self-control nor the willpower required to be healthy or attractive" like thunder thighs or a huge spare tire.

ninth

What is that? is that post surgery those things? shes so opinionated im not sure id goop on those boobs...let the man be fat, someone have to be...

I repeat.. she is an insipid BITCH! He is a chef, he can't look anorexic, that would mean that not even him tries his food! stupid insipid bitch!

Do I see her vegan nipple dent? I do, don't I?

He should cook up Gwyneth. And call the dish Entitlement with pompous sauce, served with grilled arrogance, topped with a snobbish reduction.

I could take this one of two ways.

1) She is a bit of a health nut, and since she's opening a gym she's giving a free membership to her friend, who admittedly does need to lose weight for health reasons. In this scenario, Gwyneth is just being a generous friend.

2) She doesn't like fatties cramping her style and she has the resources to help him lose weight, so she's encouraging him to do so. In this scenario, what would that make Mario feel like?

If all of this is true, I wonder what Mario's reaction was? Gratitude? Insulted?

http://celebbodyimage.blogspot.com/

She doesn't want her friend to have a heart attack. Wow, what a terrible person.

@7 How can you even tell, you can hardly get a good look at her in these pictures.

Glad she's taking on the appearance of Jillian from The Biggest Loser!!

Nobody trusts a skinny chef.

Hey Gwynnie, you think Mario got that fat by exercising every day? Stupid bitch.

@13 - EXCELLENT, Janey!!!! LOL

it's about health.

#13 - Janey, we could serve it with a steaming cup of "shut the fuck up, you kabballah bitch!"

Look who's shallow Hal now beeyotch!

Chefs are supposed to be heavy!

Never Trust A Thin Chef!!

Have any of you ever watched Iron Chef America? There are plenty of thin chefs out there. Doesn't mean they don't cook well; it just means they cook healthy. Fat does not = good cook.

Gwyn-Gwyn?????

That's where I draw the line. I want to punch myself in the face for coming to this site now. I'm outta here.

Hey, it's not like the guy doesn't know he's overweight and that he may be endangering his health. He's an adult, it's his choice. If he wants to lose weight, he'll do it himself. Damn, I hate when people want to force their agenda on others and try to make them change.

this article you wrote proves to me that you yourself are over weight.

rather then spit at the people willing to give somebody who struggles a helping hand, why don't you listen to them, for a change.

you're intelligent enough to spin a funny article, you're intelligent enough to take care of your body. you might even end up happy. something people like gwenith like to see.

peace bee

Thanks Rich and Zanna... *passes gimlets all around*

If Mario DID cook her up, I'd totally be a cannibal just so I could say "yeah, I ate Gwyneth and she was BITTER."

Best part, though??? Pooping her out the next morning.

*chugs gimlet like water*

Ya know what, Janey? I think if you ate Gwyneth, it would make you constipated. Yea, that's what I think.

PORT OF RICH!

Lol, Janey said "poop"

Yeah, Zanna, you're right.... Then I'd have to take a laxative, and then I might accidentally Gwyneth my pants.

In other news, Chef Mario gives Gwyn a book. An insider said, "Gwyn is the only stupid friend he has, and wants her to change."

Yea, and then Janey, everyone would say you "Gooped" yourself.

Meh, it could be taken many ways.

For starters Mario Batali is Rich so what would $4.5k mean to him? He can cook his own "HEALTHY" meals which would allow him to cut calories and carbs.

That being said it does look like this Lady is insulting him with this little "GIFT" of hers.

Although, considering they are quote "Friends" it could just be a little friendly push in the right direction to lose a little weight or worse DUN DUN DUN Free publicity for her Gym.

What would be better to promote her gym than to say, “See everyone even Mario Batali works out here and he’s lost *insert weight loss amount* pounds!”

But in all seriousness I wouldn’t look any farther into it than to say it’s just hype and drama being pumped up to be more than what it is.

She either dislikes seeing overweight people around her so she’s taking a proactive approach to end it, or she’s just a TWAT with a complex.

Who really cares, if Mario wants to make her a special meal with Poison Sumac to exact his revenge then let him. If he accepts the offer graciously and goes above her spiteful antics then he’ll do so. Mark my words I do believe that Mario will come out of this more gracefully than Gwyneth will.

$4500+ a year? For a gym membership?

Z!!!!!!

I wonder if pre-coital activity in bed with this frigid bitch is known as (ahem) cold play...?

She is such an ego maniac and the goop thing is ridiculous. Now she also trying to be a fashion designer, you can read about that joke here;
http://www.39thandbroadway.com/celebrity-fashion-lines/
I really wish she would get over herself and just hole up in London forever!

@37...oh God..that was good. *smokes cigarette*

Plus, have u seen Mario? (http://bit.ly/zIswD) Like going to the gym is going to help, thanks Gwyneth, such a great friend.

forty-second

no

i mean

forty-second

When my sister and I are searching for the ultimate insult to hurl at each other... when one of us has been particularly hateful or snotty or snobbish or self-serving or useless or conceited or hideously, pompously smug, we invariably settle on calling each other "Gwyneth." There's really no better name to sum up so many odious attributes.

honestly only fat people like having fat friends, unless youre a chubby chaser.

I am in very good shape and watch what I eat and like to workout a few times a week. I do find it annoying when I try to hang with my fat friends and they wont go to the beach, or anywhere involving walking and then just want pizza or burgers for dinner when I try and suggest something like a sushi bar or organic restaurant. I like to splurge once in a while, but eating junk food and not working out really makes me loose respect for somebody

Being overweight is horrible for health and self esteem. That was a nice gift, depending on how it was given.

The gift fo a gym membership is nice (at least I would appreciate it). What is far from nice is her arrogant person picking friends based on their physical appearence. That is actually pretty stupid and says a lot about her sick personality.

Don't know if anyone has mentioned this: CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any pics of this Mario guy available?

We all know by now my taste! Not too thin and tranny.

If i'm able to count your bones.You bet you won't be boned by me.

Not that I'm a fan of Paltrow's, she seems more and more pampered and disconnected the more I learn about her, but is it wrong to want your friend to lose weight? I don't really have a tolerance for obesity, and i don't think we as a society should. And now you can start bitching, saying ya they're fat but they know they're fat. If that's the case, then deal with it!! No one should have to make exceptions for you just because you're overweight. If you're walking slow on the sidewalk, move the fuck over and let people pass.

If you're from nature a kind of frail than it's allright ofcourse.

For the twats writing that she cares about her friend, wake the fuck up. One thing about caring, unconditionally. Another to be concerned with how someone makes you look. Accept them or move on. The best thing she could ever do is evaporate along with evidence that she ever existed in the first place.

Obviously she did not learn the important moral lessons from her academy-award winning movie "Shallow Hal" about seeing fatties as actual humans.

Fitness advice from a flabby, pasty chick with no muscles? Why would anyone pay for that?

Mario Batali is god, that is all!

but I shit alot.
THIS IS A PROBLEM, folks?

She could pass for a teenager in the main pic !

I still hate the bitch tho' It would just make me feel better when I was mid-rape.

There's actually a couple of really shitty things here. First, the fact that someone was actually quoted as saying "he's the only fat friend she has", and that the gym membership is a freakin' $4,500. Must be some gym, huh. Or wait ... IT'S JUST A GYM.

He's an Italian chef! The best there is! I mean, seriously...would you take a skinny Italian chef in New York seriously? (exception to the rule: Marc Vetri in Philadelphia...but he's a yoga fanatic...at the crack of dawn...and half jewish)

Narrow sloping shoulders, thick waist, wide hips, long flat ass. The epitome of gawkiness. Where do I sign up for this gym membership?

@testington:

"I try and suggest something like a sushi bar or organic restaurant."

Raw fish is disgusting to many, many, MANY people of all shapes and sizes, and organic restaurants suck donkey balls. Both are also prohibitively expensive for many people, pricey hoaxes to suck in the stupid.

God forbid you should pick a restaurant that has all kinds of healthy options, not just one-note bandwagon crap. People with more than two brain cells to rub together don't necessarily care to get melanoma and sand in their asses so you can sashay around in a bikini in a desperate attempt for positive attention (your ONLY example of what your "fat friends" don't want to do).

You go on and on about your "fat friends" when clearly you have none, because you are a superficial, self-absorbed ¢unt.

And judgmental twats who brag about how important fitness is yet cannot discern "lose" from "loose" don't deserve friends at all.

the temptation of uniforms- Whether you are a single people in uniform seeking love, or a civilian interested in dating singles in uniform you will find personals in uniform.chat .-www.uniformmate.com- .