Mar 20 2009Lindsay Lohan gets one step closer to porn
Here's Lindsay Lohan in the latest commercial for Fornarina because that's what her life has been reduced to. That said, I think the work here has given her career the shot it desperately needed. Right in the back of the head.
NOTE: For those of you unable to watch video, just imagine a talking skeleton surrounded by the shittiest 80s music and graphics you can think of. Then again, you're probably light years ahead of what I just saw. You lucky bastards.
Reader Comments
1. Que - March 20, 2009 1:48 PM
Que yum yum.
2. mamamiasweetpeaches - March 20, 2009 1:48 PM
What the hell is fornarina???? This reminds me of those 80s commercials for jenjer jeans...or whatever the hell they were called.
3. Daughter - March 20, 2009 1:48 PM
I think I'm going to poke my eyes out now.
4. Zee Brat - March 20, 2009 1:48 PM
That... was amazing. Im going to go vomit now.
5. jake - March 20, 2009 1:49 PM
She's one of the few girls who became much skinnier after becoming a lesbian.
6. Craig should be working - March 20, 2009 1:51 PM
Didn't she use to be an actress?
7. jomo - March 20, 2009 1:52 PM
this commercial sucks. it is a shame for such a talented performer to have fallen this far.. a tragedy if you think about it. Kim kardashian.
8. Andrio - March 20, 2009 1:54 PM
This makes not sense. She should be endorsing a skin care product, something to put on after being with her girlfriend "to get rid of that horrid smelling shiny face."
9. gosyco - March 20, 2009 1:54 PM
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*fart*
Whoa - where was I.... oh yeah -
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
10. wow. - March 20, 2009 1:55 PM
this company has the worst website i have ever seen. it doesn't even work right.
11. Zanna - March 20, 2009 1:56 PM
@5 - that's because pussy is low cal.
12. Jeezy - March 20, 2009 1:56 PM
What the fuck was that? There's no way that was Lindsay Lohan.
13. Bickus Dickus - March 20, 2009 1:56 PM
definately adding her to my Death Pool. She won't last through summer.
14. Zanna - March 20, 2009 1:57 PM
http://www.usmagazine.com/news/lindsay-lohan-being-unemployed-is-scary-2009203
15. miggs - March 20, 2009 1:58 PM
I think it's because you develop bulimia if what you eat is Ronson's pussy.
16. gosyco - March 20, 2009 1:58 PM
There's a website?!?!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
17. netstarman - March 20, 2009 2:00 PM
Whenever she is let out to do these gigs, a angel looses its lunch. And asks for a box of Zantax. Where we suppose forget the 80's bad fashion , bad colors, subtle dance music . and too many references to the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High. She makes drug dealers cry .
18. Danklin24 - March 20, 2009 2:02 PM
What the FUCK was that?
19. ImKharn - March 20, 2009 2:07 PM
You are awesome Lindsay!
but this.... wtf the original fornarnia pics were great and now.... what did they do to you?
PS perhaps ok commercial when you were 12
20. woolcifer - March 20, 2009 2:07 PM
Wow, Forget Linsay the makers of the commercial at one point actually had to say something like ......Perfect, That's the ad.....We're done.
21. Steve Klose - March 20, 2009 2:10 PM
Hahaha - the economy sucks ....
C list actress
80's music/ graphics team (all we could afford)
and lots of pink.
22. GROAARH! - March 20, 2009 2:12 PM
the clip is pretty SFW! Wondering about her next step!:)
23. GROAARH! - March 20, 2009 2:15 PM
Well done lill Lindsay Lohan!
24. Amy - March 20, 2009 2:16 PM
We are all gathered around my computer at work....laughing. WTF was that? It just disturbed me to no end.
25. Rough Daddy - March 20, 2009 2:17 PM
Those juicy jugs wasnt prominent enough besides that she looks great...
26. GuyHolly - March 20, 2009 2:17 PM
Fish you fuckwad. do not mention porn again without showing us some tits!!
27. Jrz - March 20, 2009 2:17 PM
I can't see nuthin.
28. standing behind Kim Kardashian - March 20, 2009 2:19 PM
I can't see anything either...and there's this awful smell...
29. nat - March 20, 2009 2:21 PM
The only reason this commercial is getting any publicity is because Lindsay is so famous. If the girl in it had been some random model, this would be one of the dumbest commercials ever. It's very bad.
30. Amanda - March 20, 2009 2:25 PM
Emmm. What part of this did LiLo think was a good idea? Just goes to prove that the only people who (misguidedly) think she has an iota of talent left in her shriveling body are the same bunch of Italian marketing morons that came up with a brand called "Fornarina," which definitely sounds like his has SOMETHING to do with hookers. Definitely. :)
~a
31. michelle - March 20, 2009 2:25 PM
wow that just wasted some time i'll never get back... that commercial blows. stupid.
wtf is up with that awful wig??
32. disillusionisreal - March 20, 2009 2:34 PM
Wow. Yeah, wow. Just.. Wow. My head hurts.
33. RichPort's Ghost - March 20, 2009 2:34 PM
Funny, that looks exactly like Still White to me... emaciated... pussy... not a real soldier... bitter... I half expected Hello Kitty to come out.
34. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere - March 20, 2009 2:38 PM
WTF???????
35. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere - March 20, 2009 2:39 PM
WTF???????
36. Deacon Jones - March 20, 2009 2:46 PM
god damn my corporate security settings......
37. SuzieQ - March 20, 2009 2:50 PM
Bang.....Wink.....Help......Me.......Nobody.......will........hire........me
38. Matthew - March 20, 2009 2:51 PM
@21 she is now a d-list celeb along with miss kathy griffin
39. hehe - March 20, 2009 2:51 PM
it's funny that all the related youtubes are "for narnia"; clips from the movie
40. Cal - March 20, 2009 2:52 PM
is it just me or does it look like she stole hannah montana's wig?
41. Too much free time - March 20, 2009 2:54 PM
Ok she used to be hot but now I'd rather poke my eyes out with hot pokers.
Seriously someone take her to the nearest Burger King. Hell, carry her if you have to, just in case a gust of wind blows her in the other direction.
42. Christopher - March 20, 2009 2:55 PM
omg her voice is awful... oh, and that other stuff, too.
43. golublog - March 20, 2009 3:00 PM
I miss the Lindsey Lohan of parent trap. She was so innocent then.
44. jt - March 20, 2009 3:02 PM
did she once have breasts? and what are those two sticks that connect her feet to her body?
45. Carolyn - March 20, 2009 3:03 PM
And to think she used to have something going for her.
46. meee - March 20, 2009 3:05 PM
that was really creepy & uncomfortable to sit through.
47. FRIST!!! - March 20, 2009 3:07 PM
Oh my fuck!
What the shit was that?!?!?
48. Chatham - March 20, 2009 3:12 PM
I have no idea what Fornarina is. I thought it said "LL for narnia"... and i thought, lindsay is in the next Narnia movie?
49. Tom K - March 20, 2009 3:13 PM
I can't stop laughing!!! "Flash, Click, Wow, Fornarina!" LMAO! LOL LOL LOL!!
Holy shit!!! See what happens when the public gets tired of you, you are reduced to shit work. If only this could happen to Chris Brown.
50. imconfused - March 20, 2009 3:13 PM
is that some cross between a fornicator and a ballerina? i don't get it
51. Newcastle - March 20, 2009 3:15 PM
I see the crack diet is working well for her.
52. Nathiest - March 20, 2009 3:16 PM
Celebrities do these type of commercials abroad all the time. It's normal. Lindsay took home over 6 million dollars last year so I highly doubt she is hurting as much as she lets on.
53. durk duggles - March 20, 2009 3:28 PM
It's like listening a 5-year-old try to read ... after it's been up for seventeen days snorting coke.
54. missywissy - March 20, 2009 3:29 PM
WoW! Comeback kid! Look out Britney Spears! Lindsaaaay is BACK, BITCH! With a vengance! as Fornarina spokesmodel! Pump it up Lindsay! That video was so fucking tubular! I was like, "this is like, so radical". Dude. Bitchin' vid, babe. Keep eatin' the puss. You'll get there.
55. Eddy - March 20, 2009 3:32 PM
Doesn't even look like her anymore. That's pretty weird.
56. B - March 20, 2009 3:34 PM
That sucked so bad I have hickeys on my corneas. WTF is Fornarina? #50 - I think that's it!
57. Laura - March 20, 2009 3:41 PM
Wow. She really has almost hit rock bottom.
58. Siobhan - March 20, 2009 3:56 PM
That made me feel very very awkward inside.
59. Siobhan - March 20, 2009 4:00 PM
That made me feel very very awkward inside.
60. Joblo - March 20, 2009 4:01 PM
I thought it was cute and pretty normal for a advertisement meant for those abroad.
61. The Keebler Elf - March 20, 2009 4:13 PM
Just one more thing they can add to her video tribute the day of her funeral mass this coming Fall.
62. gerard Vandenberg - March 20, 2009 4:23 PM
Don't be surprised if she does.
SHE STILL NEEDS MONEY, remember?
(american do alot of things just for the money, folks)
63. Angry Face - March 20, 2009 4:25 PM
Wow that was awsome had to watch it twice. whats a formarina tho? is it that triangle thing? is it magical? i dont get it.
64. herbiefrog - March 20, 2009 5:20 PM
free pass[o] remember ?
65. Kay - March 20, 2009 5:26 PM
NOT THE MAGIC TRIANGLE!!
"The pink triangle, now a gay pride and gay rights symbol, was originally used to denote homosexual men as a Nazi concentration camp badge."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_triangle
How odd... I guess now it denotes oompa loompa wanna-be lesbians clawing from the depths of cocaine addiction into the "high fashion" world of Narnia... excuse me, Fornarina.
66. anonyMOUSE - March 20, 2009 5:48 PM
http://www.google.com/search?q=fornarina&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
first result on google for "fornarina" and they misspell her name to be "lindasy lohan". haha FAIL.
67. timmy the dying boy - March 20, 2009 5:52 PM
She's not totally useless. She can still serve as a bad example.
68. Theodor Herzl - March 20, 2009 6:01 PM
@65 I think you're onto something. I think LiLo is a tool of the neo-Nazis & holocaust deniers. She's offered as an example, as if to say, "See? the Concentration Camps weren't about extermination, they were there to make people SEXY!"
69. Teddy Tickles - March 20, 2009 6:06 PM
Skelator you made me do some coke . . . now i'm up all night and it's no joke!
70. Little Moo - March 20, 2009 6:13 PM
ow, anorexic ginger minger in a cheap looking wig - very attractive *pukes*.
Is she trying to turn lesbians straight or something?
71. packerfanmag - March 20, 2009 6:25 PM
Vroom vroom partay startar!!!!!!!
72. g_girl - March 20, 2009 6:32 PM
That was horrible!
I Hate her more than Robert Pattison!
HATE HATE HATE
Horrible clothes, too
73. Anon - March 20, 2009 6:33 PM
what the heck was that voice. she could've made that sound much better.
74. joss - March 20, 2009 6:52 PM
pornarina
75. herbiefrog - March 20, 2009 6:59 PM
eerr..
na na na na na na... na na n a[oh b*gger it
ok you got us : ))
76. gossip junkie - March 20, 2009 7:24 PM
LMAO @ #50
77. sid - March 20, 2009 8:10 PM
she also sounds stupid...everything shes saying is stupid! i had to watch it twice cuz i didnt get it the first time...then i didnt get it the second what a waste of my time!
78. jess - March 20, 2009 8:50 PM
That was eerily remininscent of the brainwashing segment from Zoolander.
79. ItsFullOfPoop - March 20, 2009 8:53 PM
When the Olsens look like offensive linemen in comparison,you might have an eating disorder....
80. Venom - March 20, 2009 8:57 PM
She desperately needs some protein.
Lindsay, I will provide all the protein that you need baby.
81. stu - March 20, 2009 10:25 PM
cocaine is a hell of a drug
they must be remaking Scareface and Lohan is going play the cracked out Michelle Pfeiffer character
82. Ad Ex - March 20, 2009 10:56 PM
Great dialogue in this ad. All of Lindsay's lines are one syllable four letter words. Just a coexistence, maybe, I think not.
83. Burrito - March 20, 2009 11:03 PM
She's so little. Can I please now step on her head.
84. Mick - March 20, 2009 11:09 PM
It's like a Saturday Night Live spoof. Can hardly believe it's real. As Perez would say, it's "Shitteous."
85. The Cat - March 21, 2009 12:19 AM
What the hell was that?
86. robert - March 21, 2009 1:06 AM
I read SW's blub too quick, I thought she was promoting a product called "Fornication" -- something she seems to have mad skillz at...
87. aint that the truth - March 21, 2009 2:35 AM
bad commercial and bad hair but guys shut the fuck up her body is good ... im a chick and i wish i looked like her :(
88. aint that the truth - March 21, 2009 2:42 AM
wow and such to fucking prove that she fucking looks awesome GO to the website and check out the pictures (not the commercial pictures the other ones) ... she looks sooo fucking good !!!
89. betty - March 21, 2009 3:03 AM
She is stunning beautiful, it is not strange why those men on the cel ebrity and weal thy men da tin g s it e--- "C e l e b m i n g l e. C 0 M." are interested in posting her hot photos. Have you guys have ever seen these photos?
90. Garfield - March 21, 2009 5:14 AM
Click, flash, wow, bang, wink, smack, forna-rina, splash, smash, crash, glam, pink, heart, forna-rina... To us "normal" folk it sounds like a bunch of dumb shit, but to LA hipsters it's brilliant poetry
91. Tina - March 21, 2009 5:17 AM
"bad commercial and bad hair but guys shut the fuck up her body is good ... im a chick and i wish i looked like her :( " (87)
Well, all I can say is that when I was about her height (5'4.5), I looked exactly like that from being anorexic, bulimic and meth. You should try it out, see how you like it...
92. Tina - March 21, 2009 5:21 AM
Oh yeah, I used to buy their stuff, but no more. They are clearly using Lindsay not because she's some gorgeous/talented model (like she thinks), but because they know it will get publicity. It's companies exploiting her like this that are responsible for her not hitting bottom yet.
93. Narcissist - March 21, 2009 5:27 AM
Depressing. What happened to that ridiculous Proactiv commercial she did, where they had her in silohuette to build anticipation...like she was Jesus Christ or something? Proactiv got burned on that. Alyssa and JLH have more respectable resumes than Lohan.
94. mikeock - March 21, 2009 7:50 AM
Let me get this straight - she did a couple of movies when she was a kid and now she's some sort of media whore for a living? Seriously - where does this bitch get money for this lifestyle?
95. naked - March 21, 2009 10:39 AM
This reminds me of one of those really creepy Japanese commercials where the only thing that goes through your mind at the end is.. "what in heck was that?"
96. Tee - March 21, 2009 11:08 AM
Cue the dirge: Lohan's career is DEAD.
The questionable fame of Lohan is another example of the dumbing-down of America (and apparently, of foreign nations, as well).
And for those of you who defend this out-of-control piece of garbage as a talented actress: REALLY? 'Freaky Friday', 'Herbie', and 'Mean Girls'... I know, I know, she's 'done A Prairie Home Companion' and 'Bobby', but her 'career' (cough, cough, bullshit, cough, cough) pales in comparison to other young actresses of her generation. Scarlet Johansson and Natalie Portman manage to have become acclaimed actresses who don't thrive on the attention of the media, but merely want to work.
Lohan is garbage. Just like Britney. These pathogens have too much money and fame, too little education, and too many uneducated, tasteless fans who keep pumping money into their wallets.
97. Chatham - March 21, 2009 11:09 AM
I finally figured it out....it was inspired by a bit from The Electric Company!!! Remember the 2 silhouette faces sounding out words? "cr...ash....crash! ....... br.....ush....brush!"
98. jj - March 21, 2009 12:59 PM
BAHAHAHHAH
is this for real??
99. jj - March 21, 2009 12:59 PM
BAHAHAHHAH
is this for real??
100. S. - March 21, 2009 1:55 PM
she should come back to rehab . please !
101. Elle - March 21, 2009 3:09 PM
Um - what the hell was that?!
That gave me a migrane....
102. Your Mom - March 21, 2009 3:43 PM
Isn't this a twist on the phrase "For Narnia", youbue it. When will the legal team jump on this and deprive Mrs Lohan her fading few moments in the spotlight?
103. nikkol - March 21, 2009 4:36 PM
that product names sounds like a breakfast cereal my grandparents would eat. it's ridiculous to think how much post production prolly went into that. ghesh.
104. nikkol - March 21, 2009 4:37 PM
that product names sounds like a breakfast cereal my grandparents would eat. it's ridiculous to think how much post production prolly went into that. ghesh.
105. nikkol - March 21, 2009 4:37 PM
that product names sounds like a breakfast cereal my grandparents would eat. it's ridiculous to think how much post production prolly went into that. ghesh.
106. beep beep - March 21, 2009 5:11 PM
I think this commercial just gave me cancer. Or a tumor.
107. Aussie - March 21, 2009 5:57 PM
Naomi Watts did similar style ads in 'I Heart Huckabees' but the only difference being those ads were a send up...
108. Reginald - March 21, 2009 6:18 PM
"15. miggs - March 20, 2009 1:58 PM
I think it's because you develop bulimia if what you eat is Ronson's pussy."
One of the funniest lines I ever read!!!!
109. megalocke - March 21, 2009 10:51 PM
That's some Tron shit going on there.
110. sin - March 21, 2009 10:53 PM
Another loser post of Lindsey Lohan. I wonder if she is paying this site in cocaine, heroin, handjobs or blowjobs to put here here. OH, thats right, the guy who runs this site is a flaming queer. Maybe he just hangs around with LL and waits for the guys doing drugs to pass out so he can rape them then.
111. devilsrain - March 21, 2009 11:58 PM
Please somebody tell me why
112. UltraSly - March 22, 2009 2:44 AM
@2 It's a fashion house you filthy proletarian.
113. 1moreidiotintheworld - March 22, 2009 7:36 AM
I can't believe I actually wasted 40 precious seconds of my life watching that stupid fucking cunt and that assinine commercial....... or 30 seconds commenting about it............
114. Sangria - March 22, 2009 11:29 AM
What... The hell?!
115. Ginge - March 22, 2009 1:23 PM
Reminds me of Samwell..."What What in the Butt"
116. Procrastinateher - March 22, 2009 5:33 PM
I agree with a lot of the above commenters - what the FCUK was that?! If that was a step closer to porn, what type of porn is that - something by Yoko?
This is as disturbing as watching most of the songs the Olsen twins have ever sung. Like some random song about putting shite on pizza, still haunts me...
117. Meh - March 22, 2009 7:14 PM
Is she 12 again???
118. Drew - March 22, 2009 7:43 PM
I could have sworn that *ish* said Fornarnia...
119. jennifer - March 22, 2009 8:11 PM
OKay....this I will NEVER find attractive.
120. Fuck U - March 23, 2009 1:44 PM
Dumb...girl...need...Help...Hate...dumb...girl...like...kill...
121. reginald - March 23, 2009 6:51 PM
among other sad things about this commerical, she really looks like ass in it. I mean, if a pizza delivery girl came to my house looking exactly like LL, I wouldn't tip shit!
Dating Samantha is ruining LL's image but then again, Samantha is paying the bills.
Honestly, do lesbos even dig the way LL looked in that commercial?
122. WTF - March 24, 2009 5:14 PM
For a moment when I saw this I thought that it said "FOR NARNIA!" lol.
Uhm, this commercial blows.
123. seymour butts - March 25, 2009 4:59 AM
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
124. =/ - March 25, 2009 9:23 AM
that´s gotta be one of the most depressing things I´ve ever seen
she looks miserable through all 40 sec
she´s going downt fast. but still miles above u all
125. Sanne - March 25, 2009 1:18 PM
Fornarina isn't really all that bad, the video on the other hand is absolutely AWFUL! She does look like barbie.
126. Xoana - March 25, 2009 7:40 PM
The photoshoot it's good, but the video is scary...their clothes are great but they chossed the most horrible for the video!
127. Sarah - March 26, 2009 7:30 PM
...and for Aslan....
no?
From the movie?
For Narnia, and for Aslan?
First thing that popped out at me, which just shows how much of a joke this is.
128. omfg - March 26, 2009 10:36 PM
I've seriously watched this commercial at least 30 times and I still fall out of my chair laughing everytime I see.
129. omfg - March 26, 2009 10:36 PM
I've seriously watched this commercial at least 30 times and I still fall out of my chair laughing everytime I see.
130. awesome - March 27, 2009 9:24 AM
I love that the person who put this up on youtube called the video 'for narnia'. You know you've gone downhill when you're making adverts for places that don't even exist.
131. Leon - March 27, 2009 1:53 PM
para los pelotudos que no saben absolutamente NADA
es FORNARINA y no FORNARNIA
ES UNA MARCA DE MODA ITALIANA OK¿?
POR ESO ELLA LUCE COMO UNA MUÑECA
DEJENSE DE CRITICAR UN POCO
YA LES GUSTARIA TENER AUNQUE SEA EL 1% DE SU FAMA
ESTUPIDOS INGONARTES QUE LO UNICO QUE SABEN HACER ES MIRAR LOS DEFECTOS DEL VIDEO!
PUDRANSE TODOS
132. Sharla - March 27, 2009 2:27 PM
This looks like a bad ABBA video.... (Sorry for the redundancy)
http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/
133. Atreids - March 28, 2009 4:29 PM
I closed it after "click... flash" I know what's best for me.
134. Mar Semo - March 29, 2009 12:07 AM
Linsay Lohan is a fine actress who went through a bad time (I myself am a recovering alcoholic and drug user) so I know haw hard it is to get clean and sober. I'm not famous or anything, I'm just a regular guy and can't imagine what it's like being a celebrity going through drug and rehab esp. with all the papparazi.
This video was no where near or anything close to porn.
If Lindsay ever needs my help (a place to hide out) I have the perfect place.
I hope someday she will ask for my help.
Mark
135. cordell walker - March 29, 2009 10:11 AM
@130,
you're on the money. i thought about the same thing.
>> the joke here is not on lohan.
you don't even wanna start imagining what went through the head of an imbecile who was posting this video and figured out that "for narnia" has to be the right name.
136. scatterflake - March 30, 2009 5:17 PM
Fornarina sounds like a sex act involving a hot breakfast cereal . Which Lindsay might want to eat some of before she's the width of an unbent paperclip. WTF? She's become an Overprocessed Has-Been Orange Stick. She used to be cute and somewhat talented. Sad, but like a trainwreck, we gawk.
137. lindsey Cundra - March 30, 2009 8:05 PM
HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGG NO WAAAAAAYAYY!!! LMAO LMAO!! WTF IS FORNIANA??!?!??!?! HAHHHA this made my afternoon
138. toni - March 31, 2009 4:26 AM
her voice is irritating
wtf is fornarina
someone put this bitch down already
haha nice life lindsay
139. wow gold sellers - March 31, 2009 6:33 AM
I don't see her suitable for that ad in any way.
140. Jenna - April 3, 2009 4:49 PM
Wow, I think I saw her almost forget her lines at the end there...
I can almost picture the directors of this lame commercial sitting around saying
"Ok, we need someone cheap and mindless to say these few lines.... Hey! I know just the gal!"
And yet it still took over 30 takes to get it right..... Sad really...
141. Shiri - April 6, 2009 9:11 PM
That commercial made my eyes hurt and Lindsay's annoying voice makes my ears hurt. This commercial is ALL AROUND FAIL.
142. Ace - May 26, 2009 8:20 PM
Who writes these articles? They are funny as fuck!
143. Ireeeeen - June 17, 2009 5:20 AM
oohhh Fornarina is a SUPER brand!!!
too bad they make sucky commercials
144. name (required) - August 15, 2009 12:27 AM
Seriously...she looks like a meth head. It's so sad...she looked like the next Ann-Margaret, and now...just wow. Too bad