Feb 13 2009Jessica Simpson wears a 'skort'

FIRST!

fat

I would still eat her pussy for 45 minutes.

People actually paid to see this bimbo and a banjo player? What am I missing?

fat

She looks very cute. Admitting her fat ass would break some jeans is also a nice touch of humbleness.

Her calves are formidable.

@2 Seconded.

But "bending down to reach a note"...I'd so love to be her singing coach, because thats clearly something they did for giggles.

Next she'll be telling us she has to think about polar bears for really sad songs, or the intonation won't be right.

Madison Square Garden?

Jessica Simpson?

I don't understand.....

.

Madison Square Garden?

New York Knicks?

I don't understand.....

.

I'd hit her fat ass.

Whos that knocking on my door
Its gotta be a quarter to four
Is it you again coming round for more
Well you can love me tonight if you want
But in the morning make sure youre gone
Im talkin to you
Hot legs, wearing me out
Hot legs, you can scream and shout
Hot legs, are you still in school
I love you honey

Gotta most persuasive tongue
You promise all kinds of fun
But what you dont understand
Im a working man
Gonna need a shot of vitamin e
By the time youre finished with me
Im talking to you
Hot legs, youre an alley cat
Hot legs, you scratch my back
Hot legs, bring your mother too
I love you honey

Imagine how my daddy felt
In your jet black suspender belt
Seventeen years old
Hes touching sixty four

You got legs right up to your neck
Youre making me a physical wreck
Im talking to you
Hot legs, in your satin shoes
Hot legs, are you still in school
Hot legs, youre making me a fool
I love you honey

Hot legs, making your mark
Hot legs, keep my pencil sharp
Hot legs, keep your hands to yourself
I love you honey
Hot legs, youre wearing me out
Hot legs, you can scream and shout
Hot legs, youre still in school
I love you honey

Pic #3 - bear in the woods

I would def. still give her the ol' howdy doody..... she'd love it too.

Someone give this cow a fucking salad.

#2 - HAHAHAHAHA

It looks in one of those pix like she's squatting down to take my cock in her ass. Fat or not, I am all for that.

#3...She's opening for Rascal Flatts which is why she's at big arenas and whatnot. That's who her audiences are really paying to see.

God, this woman represents every stereotype associated w/this country. In fact, she represents everything wrong w/this country. When will the insanity end.

mmm mmm.

Nothing hotter than a pair of legs in high heels.
Unless, the legs belong to a passed out sorority girl bent over my couch.

I have only two questions on the comment.

Who would pay to see her?

and

Why would you?

Maybe someone can enlighten me?

THICKIE!!!

As a fellow woman, I don't know how she can stand in those heels. I could barely stand in 2.5" heels for two hours at my wedding without my feet hurting to death. Those are ridiculous.

#13 RichPort's Ghost - I thought you were more a fan of the cockmeat sandwich.

Or maybe you meant "tossed salad" since that's what you get from your boyfriend. Or are you the bottom bitch?

Either way, you sound like an effeminate fatty. Frosted tips? Go suck a dick & throw yourself in front of a freight train, you miserable prick.

NOBODY CARES!

She is so pregnant! Bet you all she is preggo.

Looks like she's playing to a cellulite-out crowd.

She's so fat!!

"I've had times when my pants split right down the middle when I bent down to reach a note"

For the record, that was HER nickname ("reach a note") for what we did when nobody else was around.

It'd be so much more credible if she had ever actually reached a note.

#20 - YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN

She's such a ham on stage. Well, at least her thighs are.

She's lost a lot of weight lately. Could she becoming ANOREXIC???

I love the picture with the banjo player. He's thinking "my god, if she raises her arms any higher I'm going to see her gunt..."

at #22

I totally agree

Look at her picture #1...totally preggo pooch

She's just trying to keep up with the Hollywood Jones's which now happens to be the Wentz's

Scary!

No wonder Tony dumped her....he's been duped!

at #22

I totally agree

Look at her picture #1...totally preggo pooch

She's just trying to keep up with the Hollywood Jones's which now happens to be the Wentz's

Scary!

No wonder Tony dumped her....he's been duped!

Does she not have a full-length, 3-way-mirror in her dressing room?

She's an enormous disgusting WHALE! Why do they let such a fattie on the stage, even?

So in that one picture she's supposedly "reaching a note"? Looks more like she's taking a huge fissure-producing dump. Doesn't help that she's holding a giant crappuccino in her other hand. Makes me think she chose the skort because she can line it with ham slices.

Shit. You so much as breathe on these Simpson girls and they get pregnant.

she looks like her water is ready to break any second. gross.

She's just right!

@20 You seem a little jealous, Rich Port's Ghost has comments that are always amusing and he's clearly straight. You on the other hand are a troll.

oh man! she is morbidly obese! how can we even lay eyes on a woman that is so huge! how can she walk with all the blubber?? just shoot her and put her out of her fat-induced misery!

Its great for a little mid afternoon heffer sodomy.
she is not really fat as just a little fluffy.

She isn't fat. Kate Moss is out. She is real looking girl. She looks normal and just fine. I bet half of the people that leave negative comments on here are either ugly or fat themselves.

(#42) "I'll take completely unoriginal thoughts for $500 please, Alex."

With all this talk of ham I'm now thinking how cool it'd be to buttfuck her while she's eating a ham sandwich. I bet she'd be down with that plan. Give me a call Jess. I don't care how fat you are.

ok

so now she´s not fat

she´s a gothic country singer.
have u seen her in anything NOT BLACK since her XXXXXX pounds became news?

i think she should change business
lose the blond
and the tan
and look like a real nice plus size goth girl in corsets. with her tits hitin the chin.
that´d make her look slim
and pretty normal.

not

She's not fat. Her arms, legs, and stomach have ballooned out, and in some pictures you can see a lot of cellulite, especially on the backs of her thighs. I don't see how that has anything to do with being fat.

#43... you are cracking me up! You dumbass! Your thought is so original that you got it from a game show.

@41 Great name! Welcome aboard.

@44 There's Parker! I hear you, I'd butt fuck her in a second, hands down.

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I think she looks good... This shoes are sexy as fuck....

Look, She makes millions from singing and making appearances. And looking good. It is therefore her responsibility to stay in top shape, and her current condition is unacceptable. If she keeps up this up, the money is going to stop coming in. Period. Her only job is to sing, look great and to be where she is told to be by her manager. She is fat and lazy. She may not be fat by your standards but by the standards of her industry, she is morbidly obese. Get over it ladies; you may not like to hear it but you know it's true. Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Shamoo is all over that shit.

PIGGIE. PIGGIE. PIGGIE.

I wasn't aware she could reach high notes? It sounds more like rabbits dying in agony to me.

Now that Jessica has put on the pounds maybe Hollywood should remake the Hairspray movie. Jessica could replace that useless fat bitch that likes to fight in airports.

is she serious with that outfit?

and the only reason her calves look good is because she has 5 inch heels on. look at the back of her thighs. she's putting Hood out of business with all that cottage cheese.

lastly and more importantly, is she wearing a diaper in picture 4?

Somehow I don't think joking about how bending down causes your pants to split is the best way to fight persistent rumors that you are overweight.

"There are rumors going around that I am a cannibal? That's awful and I really have to put a stop to it. I know, I'll run out with that joke about how the fingers of a woman taste nothing like ladyfingers. That'll quiet the critics."

she's gained like 10-15 lbs?!?!? so the eff what!!! when u start at a size 2, 15 pounds looks more like 30 pounds of weight gain. If she got a new stylist (and she seriously should) and wore more flattering clothes, no one would be any the wiser.

she's gained like 10-15 lbs?!?!? so the eff what!!! when u start at a size 2, 15 pounds looks more like 30 pounds of weight gain. If she got a new stylist (and she seriously should) and wore more flattering clothes, no one would be any the wiser.

Who the hell performs holding a coffee mug?

YEP, PREGNANT !!!

I would hit with assunder.

@60 maybe she's looking for a volunteer to help her perform "Two Girls 1 Cup"

How come she looks skinny one day and fat the next, and then back again? Is this some sort of Joaquin Phoenix-esqe head trip for the public???

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I'm back to thinking she looks pregnant -- pic #1 has her stomach and boobs poking way, waaay out.

she is just ridiculous!!!

She looks pregnant in the first picture.

Why does she insist on wearing such unflattering clothes?!

I would still fuck the piss out of her.

Is it just me or does Jess look a little preggo?

When is she due?

Still PUDGY.

She has a beer gut.

Less Food..More Cardio Jess!

She gained too much weight too fast.

Some of the pix show cellulite on her thighs.

She should keep wearing all Black (trick has slimming effect) and Cover it Up until you've lost the extra pounds.

Heffa is probably pregnant, but either too ashamed or not ready to annouce it yet (it'll ruin her career and image).

I expect soon we'll hear she's pregnant, and she and Tony Homo are getting hitched like her moron sister Asslee.
(SLEAZY POPPA JOE - SHOTGUN STYLE).

preggers

That's not a skort - that's a shirt. She forgot the rest of the outfit

She looks great in black!

She is NOT pregnant. And she is not fat anymore either. Not the fat calling is just ridiculous. Shut up.

78
Jessica had no problem calling herself fat and wanting to lose weight so why should you?

Ehh, it works for me. Black is very slimming. You go girl!

not. hot.

@80...good for you! You know that black is slimming! You must feel so special.

not. hot.

@80...good for you! You know that black is slimming! You must feel so special.

Hey #43 "Vince" Go fuck yourself. !!. How is that for original? Typical dickhead! If you have a wife/ gay lover I feel sorry for them.

What happened to the magic jacket? That split too?

Skort looks cheap and slovenly. Just get some sweatpants that say "PHAT" on the butt.

Who in their right mind would bang such a fat cow?!

I am so surprised that Jessica had not removed her profile from that celebs dat*ing site Richromances.com yet. Oh, god bless. She can get what she wants~~Go Jessica~!!

She probably

The idea of picking on Jennifer Aniston so much is funny because it's so ridiculously malicious and based on nothing, but as a fan of this site and its sister sites, I would like to say that I believe The Superficial can afford not to be as trashy as its viral media counterparts in that all of these ridiculous daily rants about this woman serve only the trashiest of purposes. I realize that things like this are the site's bread and butter, but personally, I admire this site for its satirical qualities and not this crap. When I see articles like this I continue surfing elsewhere because I know i can see this sort of garbage at any other site.

She's so pregnant - I wonder who the dad is since Romo is gay

ugh im glad we're acknowledging that this OUTFIT is not FLATTERING!!! on eprez hilton theyre saying its awesome! im not saying she is by any means fat but in hollywood, she is & this outfit is not helping!!!

Her UGLY TALENTLESS FAT ASS IS PREGNANT UGH, just what the world needs another BLIMPSON loser ugh!! She uses BOTOX, RESTYLLINE and had a NOSE JOB (she looks even WORSE). She sells proactive and cleared her acne with acutane- she is so fake! I am SICK OF HER!!! She should look into lipo after she delivers. She has bruises on her wrists too, Romo ???? Or is she looking 4 attention again? I hate this reality WHORE!!

Her UGLY TALENTLESS FAT ASS IS PREGNANT UGH, just what the world needs another BLIMPSON loser ugh!! She uses BOTOX, RESTYLLINE and had a NOSE JOB (she looks even WORSE). She sells proactive and cleared her acne with acutane- she is so fake! I am SICK OF HER!!! She should look into lipo after she delivers. She has bruises on her wrists too, Romo ???? Or is she looking 4 attention again? I hate this reality WHORE!!

Her UGLY TALENTLESS FAT ASS IS PREGNANT UGH, just what the world needs another BLIMPSON loser ugh!! She uses BOTOX, RESTYLLINE and had a NOSE JOB (she looks even WORSE). She sells proactive and cleared her acne with acutane- she is so fake! I am SICK OF HER!!! She should look into lipo after she delivers. She has bruises on her wrists too, Romo ???? Or is she looking 4 attention again? I hate this reality WHORE!!

I think she looks better now.

Fat pig is pregnant. What ugly maternity clothes she is wearing.

PUMP UP THE VOLUME, jessica!!

I think she is pregnant and not just fat.

Sorry look again, she's not fat she's pregnant.. wanna wanna bet she's pregnant..either that or she's got a serious case of PMS BLOAT..either way I feel for her..poor girl.

Her weight gain is all a publicity stunt to get attention and sympathy. She looks like shes dropped a lot of weight already.

These slugs turn everything into a publicity stunt. her legs are so hideous, kind of like men legs. I really think Tony is gay. She looks like a tranny. What's with these stupid clothes she is wearing. I think she wants people to think she is knocked up.

She wears a "skort" in case she has a "FATH". You know, a comnination of a fart and a shit.

First thing I though was, she looks pregnant....but maybe it's just the outfit

#101 That's a "shart", dumbass. Try to keep up.

she def looks preggo and she is trying to cover it up.....

Someone needs to fix her wardrobe issues. But she's still hot as hell.

between the weight gain, the horrible outfits and the press.. she's taking massive dumps too.. trucker-sized turds.. Jess, Charmin Strong is best when wrestling with a tough to cut "rope"..

with that said, she looks just fine..

She's got bubbles - more bubbles, she has to be preg.

I think she looks fine. Not everybody has to be super skinny.

She looks ugly as fuck..eww..what a cunt

who else on the fucking earth can get more ridiculous while singing???????
jessica is the dumbest bimbo ever who looks like a moron while singing and talking. yuck!

To tell the truth, she is much fatter than before, but still beautiful, like her quite much! A question, is she dating with a young handsome man on the wealthy & rich romance site ^^" m i l l i o n a i r e l o v e s. c o m^^", I was told about this news, but it is not confirmed by her!
-----------------

I thought they were called Coulottes???

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@ #1

"todders"

I went to your link, and now my computer has a virus and every few minutes I get pop ups for hundreds of porn sites just because I clicked on your link !!!!

Thanks a LOT A**HOLE !

MAN FACE.

BEACHED WHALE.

LARD AZZ.

WIDE LOAD.

FAT.

SUPER FAT.

CHEESEBURGER FAT.

SKANK.

DADDY'S LITTLE HO BAG.

BUTTAFACE.

#113 todders, you've gotta be at least 50 years old - the last time "culottes" was widely used for this look was back in the '70's. And since Jessica's garment more closely resembles a skirt rather than short trousers, it's a skort. Now go catch something virulent and die - make it work!

Jessica looks like a beached whale. She is hideously fat. I don't care if it's from being bloated or pregnant she is huge.

Jessica looks good!

I'd hit her fat ass.