Jan 8 2009Jake Gyllenhaal is apparently a tough guy now

Remember when Jake Gyllenhaal would always play the role of the wistful outcast teenager who mumbled all his lines? Well, somebody just sold that kid some steroids. I'm not about to point any fingers here, but if Reese Witherspoon doesn't fit the M.O. of a drug dealer, then I just gave the cops a really bad tip. And might've told them her chin was a deadly weapon.

I'm going to Google non-extradition countries now.

Photos: Splash News

Comments (32)

Reader Comments

1. OMGAHARD - January 8, 2009 5:36 PM

fucking first bitches and he is hot

2. me - January 8, 2009 5:37 PM

Anyone posting after me sucks on Jake Gyllenhaal's brokeback penis and swallows his juices

3. banana - January 8, 2009 5:43 PM

What's up with that other dude's vericous veins? BARF!

4. combustion8 - January 8, 2009 5:45 PM

he's not even that big.

5. seriously - January 8, 2009 5:45 PM

@2: I will stab you in the cheek, you unimaginative cunt.

6. STINK - January 8, 2009 5:46 PM

I keep associating him with that crappy movie where the Trix Rabbit torments him.

Yes, it's a crappy movie. Deal with it.

7. authorego - January 8, 2009 5:52 PM

The steroids are working. That varicose-laden centegenarian had to eat his dust. Suck on that old man!

8. Erica - January 8, 2009 5:53 PM

Don't even deny that you wouldn't fuck him. He's very sexy.

9. Jake - January 8, 2009 6:01 PM

I'm not going to be the bottom anymore...do you hear me?!! I'M NOT GOING TO BE THE BOTTOM ANYMORE!!!

...well...ok...just this one last time. And you have to call yourself "Heath".

10. addled - January 8, 2009 6:06 PM

and still with the ski hat on.

11. Rachel - January 8, 2009 6:07 PM

Check out Jarhead, a little known movie (probably because it's really hard to watch) from 2005 adapted from Anthony Swofford'a memoir about being a marine in the '91 Iraq war. That was the beggining of the buff jake, who still mumbles his lines.

12. Steve - January 8, 2009 6:09 PM

Definitely steroids at work, those guns have gotta be at least 10" around.

13. lame - January 8, 2009 6:16 PM

Ahhhh....he's so cute!

And #6 - Donnie Darko was an awesome movie!

14. Elmo - January 8, 2009 6:17 PM

well.... I know they're trying to market this guy, but they shouldn't go beyond "geeky cute". His personality just doesn't fit a big macho dude.

15. fuckstocker - January 8, 2009 6:52 PM

Jake Gyllenhaal

Your fuckstock is assprone, nutcocker.

16. liz - January 8, 2009 7:25 PM

the guy behind him looks like he has worms under his skin! ew!

17. john - January 8, 2009 7:37 PM

what's up with that stupid cap he always wears? is he going bald?

18. James - January 8, 2009 7:53 PM

His neck is freakishly large in pic #6

19. yanks are wanks - January 8, 2009 8:16 PM

@5: I would love to rape your mum's bum and take a shit in her mouth.

20. britney's weave - January 8, 2009 8:53 PM

EW, look at the veins on the old guy's legs!

21. Belinda - January 8, 2009 9:42 PM

This is something I should try one day!

22. Kim Kardashian - January 8, 2009 9:44 PM

@2 - You say that like its a bad thing.

23. whimstar - January 8, 2009 10:46 PM

Long live bubble boy.

24. gerard Vandenberg - January 8, 2009 11:37 PM

But in his heart there is still the FAGGOT, folks!!

25. FoodObzor - January 9, 2009 4:15 AM

Long live bubble boy!!! )))))

26. TJ - January 9, 2009 8:26 AM

#2 Fuck you and your hair-assed mother.

And riddle me this, Batman: why does G-man screw a woman with 2 kids that must have a floppy vagina, when he could have a hardbody? You know, like Britney Spears.

27. Cliff Greene - January 9, 2009 12:39 PM

#22 No kidding. #2's comment only works on posts about Mickey Rourke maybe, or Brooke Hogan.

28. lulu - January 9, 2009 3:11 PM

@6: i am soo soo so sorry you have terrible taste in movies.

lookin hot jake! dayum!

29. jane - January 9, 2009 5:31 PM