Dec 4 2008Paris Hilton wants her own Disney movie
Paris Hilton wants to play a live-action version of Tinkerbell, and Disney is actually considering letting the tower of wonk play the beloved role of Peter Pan's fairy sidekick, according to Page Six:
A source tells us the celebutard is lobbying for the title role in Disney's live-action version of "Tinkerbell," in which the pixie finally gets a chance at life as a real girl. "Paris has worked on her acting chops lately and showed some comedy prowess in her YouTube spoof of running for president," our insider said. "Disney suits saw it and think she may be developing some comedic-actress potential."
WALT DISNEY: Damn, I can't believe that freezing shit worked. Thanks for thawing me out.
EXEC: Our pleasure, sir. We'd like you to meet the new face of Tinkerbell. This is Paris Hilton.
PARIS: Hello! Mickey Mouse is hot.
WALT: Why does this young woman smell of ham and vinegar?
PARIS: My daddy's a billionaire which allowed me to live a promiscuous lifestyle full of unprotected sex and undeserved celebrity status. Tee hee!
WALT: *blinks* I want to go back. Put me back!
EXEC: Sir, that's the refrigerator.
WALT: How do you set this thing to 3000 AD? Is it the broccoli?
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Reader Comments
1. sadf - December 4, 2008 11:06 AM
abjahbbahha
2. Me - December 4, 2008 11:06 AM
Anyone posting after Me sucks on Benji Maddens penis
3. timmy the dying boy - December 4, 2008 11:09 AM
third!
4. wiggle bear - December 4, 2008 11:11 AM
wiggle bear, wiggle bear, wiggle bear
exempt ooo didn't see that exempt pass coming did ya?
Paris would b a pretty good Tinkerbell
wiggle bear, wiggle bear, wiggle bear
5. Camel - December 4, 2008 11:18 AM
That's just what our children need. A slutty whore Tinkerbell. Though I guess... that does have a ring to it.
Mmmmm... Benji Madden your penis is so small and thin....
6. Camel - December 4, 2008 11:19 AM
That's just what our children need. A slutty whore Tinkerbell. Though I guess... that does have a ring to it.
Mmmmm... Benji Madden your penis is so small and thin.... NOM NOM NOM.
7. havoc - December 4, 2008 11:22 AM
Ham and vinegar !!!!!
LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
8. Camel - December 4, 2008 11:23 AM
FAIL
9. drewski2u - December 4, 2008 11:29 AM
What happened to puss-pussy's big plans to move across the pond? I thought we were somewhat rid of this biatch....
10. toolboy - December 4, 2008 11:30 AM
That girl is fucking goofy. Literally.
11. ummm...yeah - December 4, 2008 11:34 AM
Yet another stupid post about what?...NOTHING!
Fish, I'm gonna get you fired!
Anyway, I didn't know Disney was branching out into porn.
#2 suck alot of cock, do ya?
12. Balls McCoy - December 4, 2008 11:37 AM
Nice hair, what you come to this event in, an I-roc Z?
13. Ted from LA's piece of ass - December 4, 2008 11:37 AM
~10 that was Ted from LA's joke about three weeks ago
14. QQQQ - December 4, 2008 11:38 AM
It works actually. Think about it, in Hook, tinkerbell was a whore. That tiny skirt, flirting with Peter and she kept trying to get all up on his jock even though she knew that he was married. I think that it won't even be acting for Paris, she all ready wears skanky skirts and is a whore. I'd call it a perfect type cast...
15. jrz - December 4, 2008 11:40 AM
Tinkerbelle? More like Skankerbelle
nyuk nyuk
16. Monkey's Bone - December 4, 2008 11:49 AM
The "Poodle" look certainly does fit her
17. Jenna - December 4, 2008 11:59 AM
This is stupid. How can they get mad at Vanessa Hudgens and Jamie Lynn Spears and want to get rid of them off of disney shows and yet they want to HIRE a well known porno-making slut to play a precious fairy.
Tink was a real person once, Julia Roberts! Although that wasn't Disney, why the heck ruin it with someone like Paris. Not to mention Tinkerbell doesn't have wonky eyes.
Choose someone more like Hayden Panettiere, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson.
Anyone would make a better Tinkerbell! Dye Liv Tyler's hair blonde and she'd fit it better than paris ever could.
I have always loved Tinkerbell growing up and even now I'll buy a couple cute items (ie. Car mats!) but I won't buy anything else if they make Paris Tinkerbell!!!
18. Rod - December 4, 2008 12:01 PM
I don't buy it.
Didn't Disney drop Brittany Murphy from this/a Tinkerbell project because her image wasn't wholesome enough? I doubt they'd let Sextape McCrotchshot VOICE Tinkerbell, let alone be her face in a live-action film.
19. Rough Daddy - December 4, 2008 12:02 PM
grow up jenna!
20. Christina - December 4, 2008 12:18 PM
This I would have to watch, maybe borrow someone elses DVD. Not purchase.
21. Max Planck - December 4, 2008 12:33 PM
Lady and the Tramp maybe better.
22. Goblinkatie - December 4, 2008 12:49 PM
1980's Middle School Dance is *not* a good look for anyone, including her.
23. supersex - December 4, 2008 12:53 PM
she can't sing
she can't act
she should stick to porn (monstercock.com)
stupid ass bitch
24. Chauncey Gardner - December 4, 2008 1:06 PM
Well, if Vanessa Hudgens and Jamie Lynn Spears can do the shit they did and keep their gigs, there's no reason why this cocksucker couldn't have a shingle at the Mouse House.
25. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - December 4, 2008 1:16 PM
If it was Kim Kardashian, she'd play Tinklebell...
Thank you!!! Thank you!!! I'll be here all week!!!
26. Mr. Jones - December 4, 2008 1:29 PM
I didn't know that Tinkerbell could play tennis without a raquet, and go scuba-diving without flippers.
27. jrz - December 4, 2008 1:32 PM
Hmmm.......#25.....reminds me of someone I know........hmm........someone from New York City.......
28. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - December 4, 2008 1:38 PM
#27 - Well I was the governor of NY State once...
29. whatever, yo - December 4, 2008 2:02 PM
WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE WANT TO KILL EVERY GOOD THING???!!!!!!!!
30. Alex - December 4, 2008 3:22 PM
Isn't she a little old to play Tinkerbell? If Tinkerbell ever got the chance to become a real girl I doubt she'd want to be 26 years old...or Paris Hilton.
31. dew - December 4, 2008 3:25 PM
You put in words what I've been suffering mentally every time I see a pic of Paris:
Ham and vinegar smell!
32. Sailingmaster - December 4, 2008 3:37 PM
Sorry, but letting Skank Hilton play Tinkerbell would be like getting Scott Peterson out of prison so he could play the dad in a remake of either Growing Pains or Family Ties.
33. Sailingmaster - December 4, 2008 3:37 PM
Sorry, but letting Skank Hilton play Tinkerbell would be like getting Scott Peterson out of prison so he could play the dad in a remake of either Growing Pains or Family Ties.
34. sunshine - December 4, 2008 3:38 PM
Her stylist called in sick and the only other available was the one from the religious channel, who do up all the Tele-Evangelist big-hair ladies. Hence the curls, bangs and black tights.
35. jrz - December 4, 2008 3:40 PM
#28.....I was actually thinking of someone more in the.....IT field.....but follows politics vehemently. And ballet.....someone who is really into ballet.....
36. Cartman - December 4, 2008 4:51 PM
I want a world without Paris Hilton in it. She wants to play Tinkerbell for Disney.
We all want things we can't have.
37. toolboy - December 4, 2008 5:33 PM
#13
First, I hold Ted from LA in the highest regard, he is a funny MF'r and I did not see his post. There are many forms of the original Mickey's divorce joke though. It's kind of an old joke, but it applies.
38. friendlyfires - December 4, 2008 6:06 PM
Paris Hilton is more like Stinkerhell than Tinkerbell
I kill me
Damn, I'm still alive ... move over Walt, you've gotta' set it to 4000AD, by that time she'll either be forgotten or be competing with with you and Elvis as the new Jesus. It's worth a shot.
39. Janet - December 4, 2008 6:28 PM
She would actually look so pretty if she got that stupid pointy tip cut off the top of her nose. Prob from a botched nose job. It needs to go.
40. Jackson'shole - December 4, 2008 7:40 PM
WHY does everyone keep giving this hideous piece of trash jobs? Are her blowjobs THAT good? I don't get it at all. I just want her to die.
41. lindary - December 4, 2008 9:44 PM
She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site """" W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m"""""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now? ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
42. Juniper - December 4, 2008 9:47 PM
Tinkerbell's a bitch anyways. Have you ever read Peter Pan? Of course not. Well Tinkerbell tries to get people killed (Wendy). She's a ho.
43. patricia - December 4, 2008 9:48 PM
i thought she was moving to england?! damn if they keep giving her work we'll never get rid of her.
44. wolf5150 - December 4, 2008 11:23 PM
While my own sick masturbatory fantasy would be well served by seeing a herpes-ridden, cock-sucking, whore like Paris dressed up as Tinkerbell
jerking off a cock that just slipped out of her mouth onto her neck, leaving a sizeable pearl necklace in its wake, I am holding out hope for Disney and casting my vote for Dakota Fanning as your new Tinkerbell.
45. PostmortemG - December 5, 2008 12:26 AM
If Disney *MUST* hire a girl associated with porn as Tinkerbell, it should be Alexa B. She looks like Tinkerbell. God, i hate Disney.
46. gerard Vandenberg - December 5, 2008 7:50 AM
####SHE'S LOSING IT AGAIN, folks!!####
47. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - December 5, 2008 8:46 AM
#35 - I occassionally hang out in the administrative offices of big city hospitals, stalk the recently promoted, and offers gimlets to the office hotties. Just not since my political downfall...
48. Jrz - December 5, 2008 9:48 AM
#47, Eliot, let me take this opportunity to say how much I love you, brother. I shall show you how much i love you through interpretive dance.....set to "Lick a Shot" by Cypress Hill.....
49. Jrz - December 5, 2008 9:52 AM
Oh, and Juniper.....#42---TOTALLY!!! Tinkerbelle was one mean little bitch, with wings. She totally had the Lost Boys shoot Wendy down with slingshots. And those mermaids weren't very nice either.
50. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - December 5, 2008 9:53 AM
#48 - I was hoping for Bjork, but that'll do too. =)
51. Jrz - December 5, 2008 9:59 AM
Speaking of Bjork.....imagine if she and Yoko Ono teamed up and made an album?
52. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - December 5, 2008 10:00 AM
Tinkerbelle's a ho? How much does she charge? Does she take personal checks?
53. Jrz - December 5, 2008 10:01 AM
So, Eliot, have you seen my new cote? I mean, coat?
54. Jrz - December 5, 2008 10:18 AM
Eliot, I'm surprised you have time to goof off on the Superficial......I just read this on CNN.....
Former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer started a new job this week, debuting as online magazine Slate's newest columnist
55. souris - December 5, 2008 10:43 AM
> "Paris has worked on her acting chops lately and showed some comedy
> prowess in her YouTube spoof of running for president," our insider said.
"Working on her acting chops"? Is THAT what the kids are calling it these days?
Photo #4: Way to work the wonk, baby! Way to WORK the WONK! God, if she ever opens up a school teaching that, let me sign up first. I just know I'll drive ALL the boys crazy with it. Even if they all end up chasing me off with industrial-size cans of Lysol, after all her L'Eau de Ham and Vinegar rubs off on me.
... Though, and I HATE to admit this, I actually really like the dress.
56. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - December 5, 2008 10:58 AM
Jrz, I can only goof off when security escorts the newly laid off out the door.
Is it a pee cote?
57. Jrz - December 5, 2008 12:37 PM
Eliot, if you email me then I'll show you the new cote I'm talking about.
58. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - December 5, 2008 2:19 PM
Have one of your cohorts send a message to Tonto... I'm sure he'll want to wear your new z cote.
59. JRz - December 5, 2008 2:43 PM
yes....to Tonto..I shall do that. the Fun Factory took my old cote away from me.
60. Truth - December 5, 2008 11:07 PM
IF DISNEY HIRES PARIS HILTON THEN THEY WOULD BE HIRING SOMEONE WHO IS ABOUT TO FACE TWENTY TO THIRTY YEARS IN PRISON FOR NUMEROUS, NUMEROUS, NUMEROUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITED AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS AND A 32 YEAR OLD MAN FROM ALRINGTON, TEXAS NAMED BRANDON M. WITTE. THIS IS THE LATEST MYSPACE SCANDAL.
61. Truth - December 5, 2008 11:07 PM
IF DISNEY HIRES PARIS HILTON THEN THEY WOULD BE HIRING SOMEONE WHO IS ABOUT TO FACE TWENTY TO THIRTY YEARS IN PRISON FOR NUMEROUS, NUMEROUS, NUMEROUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITED AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS AND A 32 YEAR OLD MAN FROM ALRINGTON, TEXAS NAMED BRANDON M. WITTE. THIS IS THE LATEST MYSPACE SCANDAL.
62. Reality - December 5, 2008 11:47 PM
READ ALL COMMENTS ON PARIS HILTON'S ASKMEN.COM SITE.
63. Glue - December 7, 2008 12:53 PM
Not a chance.
Tinkerbell is a bubble of personality, where as Parish Hilton is a bubble of nothingness. It will never work.
64. Narcissist - December 18, 2008 7:30 AM
How about an original? The modern family classic, "The Happy Little Herpe".