Dec 17 2008Nicola McLean brings cups of holiday cheer

Dear Santa,

Please forgive me for the short notice, but I'm writing to request a last minute alteration to my Christmas list. Please replace the following item:

A Pitt-Jolie child dressed as an Ewok complete with spear to attack my enemies.

With:

British Ultimo Lingerie model Nicola McLean despite the stretch marks that I'm sensitive and caring enough to look past because her breasts are ginormous.

My apologies again for such short notice, and I promise I won't roofie up the cookies this year then hold your sack ransom. Wow, that came out all kinds of wrong.

The goodest boy in the whole wide world,

The Superficial Writer

Photos: WENN

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Reader Comments

Beat face and stretch marks. Awful.

The British ones are always heifers.

Mom! Mom! Mom! The toy Santa brought me is BUSTED!

I gotta get me one of those.

She looks like my wife. Except for the fake tits that is.

She looks like a dipshit with a face made for radio.

What is up with all these over-the-top, hiddeous british skanks? And why does it seem like there is a Brit on every TV show these days? Don't get me wrong, I love the Brits but not when they're force fed to us. Enough already, Jesus.

Is that C-section scar? whats with those brittish fame seekers and big fake boobs?

Santa, you lucky bastard!

Her boobs are huge, but those cups are still too big. And probably stuffed with chicken cutlets.

And the stretch marks... WTF? These look like professional photos and if there was ever a time for photoshop, this is it.

You know, there comes a point (which usually coincides with the development of stretch marks) where a woman really should say to herself, "maybe I'm just not lingerie model material anymore." And that point for Tits McGee up top there was reached a decade ago. Would someone please tell her to go home and take care of the obvious litter of mini-whores that she birthed at some point?

Dear Santa,

Please don't bring me an aging cow for Christmas.

Thanks,

Andy

Santa looks like he's saying "please dont let me bust a nut on my pants in front of the kids!!"

You could definitely go ass to mouth on this one.

I wish she'd pull those shorts down and bend over so that we can see her hemorrhoids.

..wonder if her stretch marks glow in the dark????

..wonder if her stretch marks glow in the dark????

What the hell?? backwood bitch that comment is unlike you! explain your comment,,,im going to pretend youve been with a woman!

Hmmm ugly implant gap with huge hard breasts. Um yeah what a turn on!

stretch marks

This is one that Daisy will have to skip. There is a desperate NEED for Photoshop here.

If I was an exec. for the company she is modelling for, I'd fire the guy she slept with to get the job. This is BAD.

Holy shit this chick is ugly. I think she hit every fucking branch of the ugly tree.

Red outfit, fake tits, blue fingernails, bad form !!!

I think it is great the UK show what some models truly look like without airbrushing. Everyone has flaws, including models, but they are most always airbrushed.

*hork*
I just threw up.
IT I need a new keyboard STAT!

I hate to admit it, but Tara Reid looks a little better after rehab...

Supposedly she's only 27.

I've seen more realistic tits on mannequins.

She makes lingerie look cheap and nasty like it needs to be burned in a hot fire. If she continues this for a living, she should put some makeup on those stretch marks before she ends up out of work because she's not good at this. She should turn tricks or/and do porn instead. She could learn a thing or two from Britney on the proper way to successfully skank for megacash.

Looks like reindeer sloppy seconds.
Typical euro trash......

Shut up! She's beautiful and so what she's got stretch marks, don't you all? Her body is banging and she's beautiful breasts. Haters.

These have not been shopped.

Santa wondered if a leather purse had fallen out of her stuffed bra but then he realized it was her stomach rubbing up against him.

Even British ReallDolls are fugtastic...

i'd hit it

^^^^ here's the picture Fish left out. Note that it's her, wearing the black bra.

The Fish can have her. Those tits are not worth having to look at the rest of that shit.

I think the stretch marks on this model made a lot of females happy today knowing that one does not have to be perfect to be considered sexy.

I'd have sex with Nicola McClean but I'd use Santa as a contraceptive.

And I'd be thinking about Santa. That slut Santa... in his sexy wellies...

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who is this chick?

You guys realise she probably just had a baby, right? Yeah, she could probably throw some make-up on that shit since she's a model, but you'd have to be queer to think the rest of her don't look good.

Also, enjoy the added MILF-status. mmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm,

The beautiful British girls with natural bodies > the British girls with a lot of work done. Why Lucy Pinder, Michelle Marsh, or Eva Wyrwal aren't asked to do these things instead of Jordan, Danielle Lloyd, or Jodie Marsh is beyond me.

Also: McLean had 32Es and had them enhanced to 32Gs. That bothers me.

You guys realise she probably just had a baby, right? Yeah, she could probably throw some make-up on that shit since she's a model, but you'd have to be queer to think the rest of her don't look good.

Also, enjoy the added MILF-status. mmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm,

British words of wisdom:

"You should never look at the mantlepiece while poking the fire"


In other news... i think some of those marks are just from the costume pressing in. C-section scar is a possibility but its off center considering the placement its likely from something else... .

British words of wisdom:

"You should never look at the mantlepiece while poking the fire"


In other news... i think some of those marks are just from the costume pressing in. C-section scar is a possibility but its off center considering the placement its likely from something else... .

She has a 2 year old son, so obviously she got unlikely in terms of stretch marks. She needs to accept her fate, be a good mom, and cover that shit up. She's a whore who had a bastard son, so she's going to have to hope for some eager-to-please guy who'll tell her total lies about not caring about her disgusting scarred up collapsed stomach. Probably a momma's boy who's still fixated on boobs and will never really achieve adult sexuality. But good looking guys? Not a chance. She's only 27 and she's got the beat-up-and-partially-reconstructed Ms. Frankenstein body of a 40-year-old recently divorced and desperate to grab another guy before it's too late. There were at least a dozen 27 year olds with much better bodies in the immediate vicinity of that photo shoot.

If you click on #36's link, or simply google "Daily Mail Nicola McLean" you'll get the full story and full set of pictures. And you'll definitely NOT say she's hot. The whole thing is kind of disturbing, like shaved-head Britney when she was taking handfuls of Adderall and laxatives and going out all the time.

i think she is a decent looking woman. However- the stretch marks need to be hidden. I am a mother and i have stretch marks and you wouldnt catch me dead in a bikini now. even though i have my body back, i have stretch marks on my tummy and im not about to throw on a belly shirt and show the world my battle scars.

Dear Santa,

For Christmas all I want is some Matchbox race cars. Mommy already has the track (on her stomach).

Thank you.

beat face, stretch marks, horrible ass, big fake disgusting tits... someone push this girl down a flight of stairs, i wish i hadnt full-sized these pics

"What is up with all these over-the-top, hiddeous british skanks? And why does it seem like there is a Brit on every TV show these days? Don't get me wrong, I love the Brits but not when they're force fed to us. Enough already, Jesus."

yeah because you fucking morons don't appear on all our television channels, if I hear another moronic american i think i'll join al queda, they seem to have the right idea.

roflmao at the comments for this one - nothing to add except

#7 totally with you there - HBO could almost be renamed "Pay-BBC"
WTMFF?? and also with all respect to you-all down-under, instead of getting Aussie actors to speak with a (faked) American accent, how about Hollywood doing something amazing, and actually just casting Americans?????

She is 25. Not 27.

I'm with Fish on this one. Yeah, she's butt ugly with monstrous deformations on her stomach and we all know british chicks age terribly, but DID YOU SEE THOSE TITS????
photoshop yourself bitch

You know what? She has a child, a 2 year old. So who cares if she has stretch marks? She looks great! It just shows that she is a real person unlike most of those artificial celebrities out there.

Yeah, who cares if she has stretch marks. She is proud enough to not hide them and I think that's great.

I have to agree with 56 and 57 to a degree, but there is a difference between have a couple of kids, stretch marks and going to a club wearing a shirt that shows your stretch marks and being a professional lingerie model.

There comes a time when you have to decide to do something else with your career.

http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/

you guys would be lucky to fuck someone like her, say hello to whatevery other model theyve shown on this site looks like before they photoshop the hell out of their pictures

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IS IT JUST ME OR IS HER BRA LIKE SAGGY AT THE BOTTOM? IT LOOKS ODD

LOL, In response to all negative comments: There is a reason this website is called the Superficial and you are it.
Even people who haven't had kids have stretch marks and all those size 2 blondes you superficial people fuck they probably have them too and if not I bet you can find some cellulite. Guys get stretch marks even teenagers get strech marks from growing to fast.

But all that said I think she could have wore like some high wasted pinup girl style panties or a corset and saved us all a lot of time responding to this post.

that flat ass is perfect for anal.....

if your stomach is riddled with stretch marks, it kinda takes away from your ginormous fake tits....cover that shit up please...yes we know... pregnancy can be unkind to the female body...luck of the draw girlfriend...next time do us all a favor and try pants....

I love her.

She has stretch marks, thank God for someone who doesn't airbrush themselves daily.

That looks so bad, it HAS to be fake... Why the hell is she wearing that??

That looks so bad, it HAS to be fake... Why the hell is she wearing that??

She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site """" W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m"""""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

Wow....everyone is so hung up on her stretch marks, which by the way, are almost invisible. Mine...well, I can just wish for em to look like that. But when I have my surgery later this year they will be gone. Yay. It actually kinda looks like she had a tummy tuck. Her belly button is way too perfect. Doesn't matter. She's a rough looking 27 year old though. wow.

her stomach looks great so I am glad she is not afraid to show it off! Not good for women's lib, though

lol, you who commend her for being "natural" and showing off her stretch marks completely neglect how artificial and overprocessed the rest of her is.

I think she's hot. Just because there are some imperfections doesn't mean she's she vomit-worthy. And just because she has big boobs doesn't make her trash. I'd tear that up in a second.

But yeah, maybe she's a little too brave for public consumption.

i'm sure everyone is very busy commenting on the girl, but i would just like to point out that santa's beard appears to be a blonde wig. wtf?

She brings a cup of cheer my ass, she brings Double D Cups of cheer!

Holy lord in heaven I am never having a baby, all I can look at are her stretch marks. I feel so bad for her but at the same time, I don't understand why she didn't just wear a santa-trim teddy or something else that would've covered her tummy.

They should show her picture to teenage girls in health class - abstinence rates will rise instantly.

This is the american way of saying: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIII?
be sure: FAKENESS IS ON TOP OF THE LIST, folks!!

#71..wow. Ya know I was thinking the exact same thing!!

Superficial Writer, that was catty to say about the stretch marks but I admit that was the first thing I thought of when seeing these shots. Those shots are cute to give a hubby but not for everyone to see. Aah, the British...

Britney's Weave is right...why does Santa's beard look like a blonde wig??

If she was a natural gal and didn't have synthetic flotation devices installed then actually I'd be ok with the stretch marks. I would think 'ok cool here's an natural woman'

But she's trying to sell the myth of unnatural female beauty and fabricated sexuality so why not finish the job and airbrush out the imperfections?

The whole advert needs to be scrapped and re-thought. It's clearly not up to Western standards of product display and glamour.

Dear Santa :

All I want for Christmas is...a few Sleeman's, world peace, a bit of Famous Grouse,
JUSTICE! !!!!,
and oh... Wait Big Guy...just got a text. in here....so hold on a sec...let's see now...just reading the thing....'Something' (undetermined text) was "a..n... i.. n ..s.. i ..d ..e.." . ..Hummm.... An inside what ? I wonder.
Couldn't quite make out the rest - I'm on the 'Global Economic Meltdown' monthly phone plan and only pay for a few characters a month.

Cliff Notes : Job.

Float across the pond on those things.

Float across the pond on those things.

Hey Superficial - you've dropped the ball - you didn't find the new playboy pictures of Carmen Electra. I was looking forward to your diatribe or more likely a love letter on that one.

-good for her for showing off a great body! stretch marks and all. it shows that women who do have stretch marks or other 'imperfections' can still buy sexy lingerie and look great and feel confident
-sick shoes.

Man i hate those ginormous bras. Nice ad frenzy changes Superficial, blah

You would think she would have taken off her socks before getting the fake tan spray down..

You would think she would have taken off her socks before getting the fake tan spray down..

Pretty gal...Too bad she ruined her Body with that Overkill Boobjob!

@7 obviously you are a complete fuckwit fake and disgusting American shit is fed to us around the clock and we don't like you UGLY, OBESE and IGNORANT citizens either, plus your voices?? Nothing is more irritating and ugly on the ear than the American way of talking. Not even a face made for radio with most Yanks I sure as hell dont want to hear your nasal droning.

So #90 - Inside job ?

You a Brit ?
Having any problems with the link ?

Looks more like a tummy tuck scar doesn't it?

WOW to be so brave

WOW to be so brave

@7 Force fed to us? Do you even KNOW how much American shit we get over here? We have tv chanels exclusively dedicated to US tv shows. Please don't complain about a few British people on your tv. And yes this woman is horrific looking.

@95. Yes! and as we invented TV you'll bloody well watch what you're given and be grateful for it!

Oh, before anyone mentions that it was a mechanical TV and the CRT that replaced it was invented by a German I'd like to remind you that although America holds half the worlds patents we invented all the good stuff like TVs and telephones..and Simon Cowell! Tally ho chaps!


I'm reading that she's 25 and married to some soccer thug like Posh Spice.

Kinda rough for 25.

@ #95: Shut the fuck up, Kahlee, you stupid stupid STUPID WHORE! You stupid SLUT! Shut that stupid penis sucking hole you think of as a mouth, you filthy fellating FLOOZIE! You STRUMPET! You TART!

Go out and troll for customers in the middle of the nearest highway you dirty WHORE! Go flash your hairy twat at men in passing cars, and take whatever they offer you as payment, even if it's nothing but a bottle cap, because that's all you're worth, you dirty WHORE!!!

#53 Maybe its because Aussies are better actors than Americans? Since our actors can quite easily master your accents (both southern and city) whilst yours have not once given a convincing performance of an Australian accent.

@ 99 - what is wrong with you you mentally deficient retard? im just going to assume you are a fuckwit american and leave it at that.

WTF Fish?!?! There's all this freaking advertising on teh sides of this site. It's completely annoying AND now my cover is going to be blown...I used to check yoiur site at work and now I can't cuz it's got all these weird beeyatches in the margins. Superficial looked like any other news site before (if youi scrolled down from tha boobage a little:) . PLEASE GET RID OF THE ADVERTISING! I will send you money (cold hard monopoly cash) if you do.

i have no idea who she is, but she's now on my top MILF's list under Shauna Sand

hey guys !!we are talking about that all day .we should have some other life styles ,yes? Somedays ago i saw a website www.sugarbabymatch.com here.when i sing up there ,haha .fantastic ! beauty,beauty!manymany beautythere! i had a dating yesterday!wow wow ! it is my faverite! You have any interest to lovers ,you can have a try there!

Who the fuck is this nobody and what's up with the stretch marks? I don't care how thin/in shape you are. Showing the stretch marks is a big NO NO!!!

Who the fuck is this nobody and what's up with the stretch marks? I don't care how thin/in shape you are. Showing the stretch marks is a big NO NO!!!

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Haha, Tara Reid with a nasty boob job, ratty extensions, spray on tan, stretch marks, and BLUE fingernails with a red outfit. The Brits have some lovely women, but this certainly isn't one of them.

Ew. Instead of London, I think I'll do Fiji this winter.

Ew.

It's this girl's job to look hot and she doesn't.

This is like when an NFL kicker misses a 40 yard field goal.

Dear Yank and Wank...

You and your frog buddies would sound very sophisticated speaking German in your respective elegant accents.

Please go stick your tongue in Madonna's super tight bungy.

Thank you!

strech marks

For anyone calling these stretch marks "hideous deformations," you should go to http://www.shapeofamother.com. Seriously. These aren't bad in the least.

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somethin about her stretch marks almost makes me lust for her vagina even more

I'll never understand the OPEN MOUTH poses. What is she a fly catcher?

And now we must have a shortage of "bimbo models" cause they are taking them with stretchmarks and c-section scars?

Nice if that's your baby mama...not for sex ads!

Honestly, guys, are you telling me you'd turn that down? you're SOOO full of shit. She's a real women, with really big (though not all real) tits, a beautiful smile, glowing eyes... a sensational ass... and, if you look closely in the final picture... a little bit of seasonal 'reindeer toe'

I'd climb over your wife to get to this woman.

That's probably not a c-section scar. MIGHT be an appendectomy scar, but the scar isn't long enough to be c-section. Most c-sections are now done below the bikini line, as well.

what a skank, she gives us english girls a bad name, give us jordan any day......those stretchmarks need some serious bio oil on them.............

what a skank, she gives us english girls a bad name, give us jordan any day......those stretchmarks need some serious bio oil on them.............

Wow you weirdos. Stretch marks are normal. I got mine when I was between ten and twelve years old and I wasn't even overweight. Some people just have skin that is more prone to them than others.

Her tummy looks like Hurricane Katrina's satellite picture.

But I'd still hit that, ATM, after a long draw.

Bubble head whore in blue nail polish, putrid red outfit, stretch marks galore, and a c-section scar too if I am correct.

A total disaster. I feel sorry for her kid.

Well, dear GOD.

If there ever was a time when the double-standard-injustice of womanhood ever seemed particularly unjust, reading through many of these comments just drove it home.

I'm really looking forward to my 40th birthday in 16 years-- otherwise known as "the year when I will lose all worth as a human being," apparently. God forbid if I should ever have a child and get stretch marks! Because what man could EVER love a woman who doesn't have the body of an 18-year-old?

Let's review what "Bill" has to say:

"She has a 2 year old son, so obviously she got unlikely in terms of stretch marks. She needs to accept her fate, be a good mom, and cover that shit up. She's a whore who had a bastard son, so she's going to have to hope for some eager-to-please guy who'll tell her total lies about not caring about her disgusting scarred up collapsed stomach. Probably a momma's boy who's still fixated on boobs and will never really achieve adult sexuality. But good looking guys? Not a chance. She's only 27 and she's got the beat-up-and-partially-reconstructed Ms. Frankenstein body of a 40-year-old recently divorced and desperate to grab another guy before it's too late. There were at least a dozen 27 year olds with much better bodies in the immediate vicinity of that photo shoot."


Dear Bill,

Please enjoy the fading dregs of delusional mid-life crisis that have convinced you that this woman's body is that of a 40-year-old. There are 3 billion women in the world who don't look like supermodels, and only 8 who do.

It's absolutely pathetic that you've convinced yourself that any man who could possibly love a woman with stretch marks (or *gasp*-- a "bastard child") is a "momma's boy."

Gotta love the false bravado of the Internet. I hope in real life you try to fake SOME semblance of maturity or intelligence.

wow so hot ! i aslo tell you another good place !Somedays ago i saw a website............www.sugarbabymatch.com.............. here.when i sing up there ,haha .fantastic ! beauty,beauty!manymany beautythere! i had a dating yesterday!wow wow ! it is my faverite! You have any interest to lovers ,you can have a try there!

@124 I completely agree with you honey, but coming to the Superficial comments pages to get an insight into what most men think is like judgeing all of America by how Paris Hilton acts.

Most gorgeous woman I've ever seen is Italian actress Monica Bellucci. Shes a mother in her 40s. True beauty lasts.

@96 no television was first invented by scotsman John Logie Baird , (a Brit).

Some people need to CALM THE FUCK DOWN in here. It's ridiculous to get so worked up over such a trivial matter as a superficial post. Anyways, thank #124! I think that needed to be said.

http://whitewomensuck.blogspot.com/

Every male posting commentary on here would b@ng this broad in a heartbeart.
.02

So guys, which is it?

You blast all the photoshopped pictures that get posted on this site, yet bitch and moan when someone comes up less-than-perfect in non-airbrushed photos. You can't have it both ways.

There's good news and there is bad news. First, the bad news: I have a yeast infection, so I can't go out and troll for customers in the middle of the highway; no whoring for Kahlee. And now, the good news: I've been wearing the same underpants over my moist furry pelt with its hairy wet cunt lips ever since the infection started, and I've strained the most delicious yogurt out of them!!! Mmmm, nummy num num!!!

YIKES! She is REALLY not attractive. Looks like a stripper in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Santa, santa. I have a present for you. Misa Campo is being mind raped by someone in DSPORT. Santa, santa. I want a present. I want you to save her from doom. They think she is the twice blessed woman. Wikens, are you know... trying to f* her... MISA CAMPO IS VERY GORGEOUS! Please give dark coals to DSPORT.COM... for protecting... arseholes* DITHER IMAGES, AND KILL US ALL?!?!? FIGURE THAT OUT SANTA.. SANTA...

DAQ

SANTA... SANTA.. PARDON THE INTERUPTION:

DSPORT DOES NOT APPRECIATE TAN GIRLS, BUT DON'T KNOW THE SECRET TO BLOOD. LATINS HAVE BLACK BLOOD. I THINK... just look at their vagina. If its dark, its dark...
Black people are originals. And the traitor is not.... THE NEW IRON MAN'S PARTNER.

THEY OWE ME A MAGAZINE OF MISA CAMPO. I AM NOT A STALKER, BUT THE WORLD WANTED ME TO BE A STALKER. BECAUSE i am THE QUADROPELL BLESSED MAN, AND THE AVATARS SEEK ME.

CER

AND DAMNIT PARIS HILTON. You better not use Eminen/M&M for money, he wants true love.

reckheart

Vitamin E would have helped with those stretchmarks.

@ #126...AGREED re: Monica Belluci - beautiful! I could only HOPE to look that good!

Wow, this is a very hot photo and a lucky Santa to be sure...
Yet as a woman I would not want the back aches nor the boobs down to me knees.... in a few years of course..
Lori

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