Dec 17 2008Madonna makes no f-cking sense
Madonna is denying reports that she paid Guy Ritchie a $76 million divorce settlement. The two issued a joint statement this morning refuting yesterday's highly publicized reports of their settlement, according to People:
"We have tried to maintain a dignified silence regarding the details of our divorce for the last few months whilst accepting the obvious media interest.
"A misleading and inaccurate statement, specifically in relation to the sums of money involved, was wrongly issued to AP this week.
"The financial details of the settlement will remain private, save to say that both of us are happy with our agreement.
"Our primary concern, like any co-parents, is the care and well being of our children."
Jesus, Madonna, which is it? First, you didn't want to give Guy Ritchie any money. Then you wanted to give him money to make him look like a gold-digger. But now the two of you are issuing joint statements together which makes absolutely no fucking sense. Seriously, I'm tempted to send someone over to check your sarcophagus for a gas leak. Where do you hide a spare key for A-Rod? Under the Sphinx? Got it.
Photos: Splash News
Reader Comments
1. Que - December 17, 2008 10:15 AM
Que confusing.
2. Natalia - December 17, 2008 10:16 AM
I have nightmares about her...
SCARY
...first?
3. mimi - December 17, 2008 10:16 AM
Your dick's bigger than his and my pussy stinks worse than hers. Why is Madonna's business out business?
4. Elisha - December 17, 2008 10:17 AM
really who cares, i am so tired of hearing about this old prune
5. hollywood_hillbilly - December 17, 2008 10:19 AM
That's a wide stance. Notice the shorts, while they do ride up, they don't stop her from doing what she needs to do.
6. Alex - December 17, 2008 10:20 AM
#4
Amazing what makes the news, eh? I'm so ready to see Madonna go on an extended leave. I'm also sick of hearing Perez Hilton suck her dick. Yes, she has a dick.
7. kat - December 17, 2008 10:23 AM
# 6
ditto.
8. havoc - December 17, 2008 10:27 AM
All she has to do is go buy another African kid and she'll feel just right as rain...
.
9. lizzy - December 17, 2008 10:29 AM
killer boots, man!
everyone is so sick of this bullshit, and the fact that they think anyone still cares. i bet madonna is milking this whole ordeal for money, because she's a master manipulator.
10. tp - December 17, 2008 10:30 AM
pretty sure little david is flipping us all the bird in #4
11. RichPort's Ghost - December 17, 2008 10:35 AM
"Whilst"? I wonder if she "learnt" that in the UK? Any American that uses "whilst" should be shot whilst using it. I bet she replace all her "z" sounds with "z's". What an unAmerican bitch.
12. jrz - December 17, 2008 10:35 AM
whilst? Fuck you, and your fake British accent, Madonna.
13. Thumperchica - December 17, 2008 10:37 AM
That kid is flipping off the camera! Priceless!
14. Jrz - December 17, 2008 10:40 AM
OH MY GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN RICHPORT'S GHOST! Wouldja just take a look at what we did? Talk about a shiney shine.
15. mimi - December 17, 2008 10:52 AM
Does anyone in this country have the faith to pray anymore?
16. mimi - December 17, 2008 10:55 AM
I love you Madonna!!!!!
17. Rick - December 17, 2008 11:10 AM
"We have tried to maintain a dignified silence "
This is the same biatch who called him an "emotional retard" at one of her concerts.
She has absolutely no class.
18. necessaryROUGHness - December 17, 2008 11:14 AM
What the hell is Backwood Bitch rambling about? why are you making comments on this broard when you are lame and make no sense,,,your primary job is to be a rough follower, and youre a failure at that....
19. RichPort's Ghost - December 17, 2008 11:17 AM
It's like your in my ethereal head Jrz...
20. RichPort's Ghost - December 17, 2008 11:22 AM
#15 - Yea Meems - can I call you Meems? - I prayed for a blowjob yesterday but my wife said her bruised uvula had yet to heal and she's sick of me holding her nose so I can slide it down her throat farther when she gasps for air. So I just whacked off instead.
Oh, and for the record, "prayed" means "begged".
21. Anonymous - December 17, 2008 11:29 AM
The word "dignified" has no place in any article about Madonna.
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23. p0nk - December 17, 2008 11:40 AM
praying for mimi...
24. Jrz - December 17, 2008 11:44 AM
Yes, Mimi, I do have faith to pray. For example, I pray that Santa brings you a set bear trap and leaves it next to your bed so you get it first thing Christmas morning.
25. Ash - December 17, 2008 12:00 PM
her kid's throwing up the middle finger in #2. always knew madonna was a bad parent, those children books dont cover up shit
26. RichPort's Ghost - December 17, 2008 12:09 PM
#24 - And I pray that Santa gives her those cyanide lollipops that are all the rage on those emo web sites...
27. mimi - December 17, 2008 12:22 PM
It doesn't quite seem fair that I am just about the only one here with any decency and I am the one most insulted. I guess there is not much use trying to teach a pig how to wipe it's mouth or a whore to close her legs.
You people make me sick.
28. Big Poppa Stump - December 17, 2008 12:32 PM
She just looks filthy.
29. Jrz - December 17, 2008 12:39 PM
It makes a lot of sense to teach a pig to wipe its mouth; they're notoriously messy eaters. As for the whore closing her legs, well...that's just fucking stupid, Mimi....how else would I earn my paycheck? DUH! You're so stupid.
30. RichPort's Ghost - December 17, 2008 12:40 PM
#27 - You should work on your gag reflex... you'll vomit less... unless spooge gets you nauseous.
And those that purport to be the most decent tend to be anal whores with glory hole fetishes.
31. Jrz - December 17, 2008 12:45 PM
Yeah. What he said. *nods in agreement*
32. RichPort's Ghost - December 17, 2008 1:04 PM
Meems, if I pray with you, can a look under your smock? Can we pray naked, as god intended us to be? Relax, we can use leaves to cover our junk... just make sure mine is a palm leaf.
33. Vince Lombardi - December 17, 2008 1:10 PM
Yes, Mimi. I pray that:
1) Madonna doesn't wake up tomorrow.
2) That I will.
34. Anonymous - December 17, 2008 1:16 PM
Who is this mimi person? Emotionally disturbed doesn't even begin to describe that goblin.
35. RichPort's Ghost - December 17, 2008 1:22 PM
#34 - Hold on let me ask her... Meems? (looks down) Who are you?
Mimi: (looks up) MMPPH MPPPH (slurp)
She said she's busy, get back to her.
36. mimi - December 17, 2008 1:47 PM
WHY DONT ALL OF YOU LOOK AT YOURSELVES IN THE MIRROR
CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELVES AND HOW DEPRAVED YOU SOUND
DO YOU EVEN CARE
Madonna has more creative energy in her stool than any of you in your brains.
Why do you have to gang up on me like this? Am I not allowed to voice my opinions here? I must really say things that hit home!
37. Jrz - December 17, 2008 2:05 PM
Why would I look into a mirror to hear something? Now, Meems, it would have made WAY more sense if you said......like.......Why don't all of you speak into a microphone that is hooked up to a speaker and hear yourselves and how depraved...yaddah yaddah yaddah.
38. bootlips - December 17, 2008 2:05 PM
I vever go out without my nigger accessory.
39. RichPort's Ghost - December 17, 2008 2:12 PM
Hey Meems... typing in caps isn't really yelling... it's just, well, make letters that should be regular sized big. And I find it very unChristian of you to write that YOU should be allowed to have an opinion while trying to bully me out of mine. Very nice Meems. No cunnilingus for you later. Ok, fine, when you wiggle like that, I find it hard to resist... what's that? Oh... you're not moving... the wind's flapping the extra skin on your body? Oops... I thought you looked a little blurry...
40. Jrz - December 17, 2008 2:15 PM
Meems is oppressing me.
41. mimi - December 17, 2008 2:31 PM
Who says I'm a christian? And Richport, in your dreams buddy.
JRZ I am not doing anything to you. I bet you would like me to wouldn't you though?
THIS IS YELLING. That at least is what I am trying to convey. Do you understand this? NO?
42. Royalty - December 17, 2008 2:52 PM
O love you mimi don't let these nutjobs bring you down that's what they do here. You should know honey.
Madge is the most innovative performer of the century get over your hatred already.
43. RichPort's Ghost - December 17, 2008 3:43 PM
Meems, when you get hot and bothered, I bother to get hot. You play the socket, I'll be the cord... let's make electricity baby... just lift your stomach(s) please...
I didn't say you were Christian, I just said you were being unChristian. All that pretend yelling is affecting your reading.
THIS IS TYPING IN CAPS!!!! And to be clear, were you yelling that last "no"? Your fingers say no, but your eyes say yes baby...
44. Minxx - December 17, 2008 4:31 PM
Whatever the settlement He didn't get enough for putting up with that 50 year old twat and her control freak mentality.
Don't bother with a reply Madloonies. I won't be coming back to watch you sputter with outrage.
45. sheisaskank - December 17, 2008 4:53 PM
How on earth does she make so much money and dress like a bum living on the street? She is disgusting.
46. lindary - December 17, 2008 6:28 PM
She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site """" W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m"""""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?
47. Mike - December 17, 2008 6:43 PM
Where'd she get the pet monkey? I want one! By the way Obama, where's my fucking check?
48. gerard Vandenberg - December 17, 2008 9:52 PM
She's sick grandma is using this kid for only one thing, folks:
"THE MADONNA FOUNDATION"!!
49. jrz - December 18, 2008 12:05 PM
Ew. Mimi is trying to hit on me. Yuck.
50. herbiefrog - December 18, 2008 4:38 PM
there are some *nasty* people on this site
zach braff ?
we never actually said his name...
...oh i guess we did [exactly]
51. tonymonchana - October 18, 2009 10:55 PM
why dont you all shut up and GET A LIFE??????