Nov 19 2008Britney Spears 'married for the wrong reasons,' has recording talent of a ham sandwich
In the above clip from the upcoming MTV documentary Britney: For the Record, Britney Spears reveals she can easily be replaced with a chimp playing a tambourine on her album and also regrets marrying Kevin Federline. You know, despite the fact they had two kids, but, eh, that's not important:
"Instead of following my heart and doing something that made me really happy, I just did it for the idea of everything."
When reached for comment Kevin Federline responded by laughing his way to the nearest bank and cashing his $20,000 monthly support check.
NOTE: Video after the jump of Britney Spears once again hinting she's never more than two steps away from stabbing her therapist in the neck and fleeing pantsless through downtown LA. Whee!
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Reader Comments
1. brown chicken brown cow - November 19, 2008 3:52 PM
first
2. FRIST!!! - November 19, 2008 3:56 PM
"Britney Spears reveals she can easily be replaced with a chimp playing a tambourine"
Awww...now why you gotta drag Obama into this?
3. Barak Obama - November 19, 2008 4:07 PM
The thought of pantsless Britney gives me a hard on.
#2, that was too damn funny.
4. p0nk - November 19, 2008 4:11 PM
queue mimi with her pro-britney/fish sucks outrage in 3...2...1...
5. gotmilk? - November 19, 2008 4:12 PM
wtf is she talking about? does she even know...probably not.
6. you stand in a queue and you take your cue - November 19, 2008 4:24 PM
yes, I'm "that guy"
7. ChuckleHead - November 19, 2008 4:27 PM
That MTV documentary Britney: For The Record is 90 freakin' minutes long.
I will be glued to my TV set that night, stuffing my face full of Cheetos.
Thank you MTV.
8. Randal - November 19, 2008 4:36 PM
There's a lot to be said about Britney Spears, the pop princess of all time, since she knocked us all over with "Baby Hit Me One More Time", especially when she's so down to earth and honest. Not only is she honest with her fans but even more important, honest with herself.
Although Kevin may not be the best choice she's made, she does have two beautiful children that came from it and that would never be the case today if she didn't fall for him in the first place.
You've grown a lot, Britney, even to the point of becoming a woman.
Randal
9. NY Ted - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
Truth told...my old tom-cat could sing better then Spears...and he has been dead for 15 years....!!!!!
But hey....as long as the masses go and buy this shit...K-Fed will keep getting his 20K a month!
10. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
11. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
12. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
13. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
14. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
15. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
16. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
17. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
18. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
19. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
20. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
21. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
22. blah - November 19, 2008 5:00 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
23. A-Money - November 19, 2008 5:01 PM
Randal... that was a little creepy
24. CaptainCack - November 19, 2008 5:03 PM
blah blah blah
Oh, a day doesn't go by that we aren't subjected to Spears drama....
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
25. ishi-san - November 19, 2008 5:06 PM
blah you are jaming
26. blp - November 19, 2008 5:22 PM
FRIST that was awesome
27. LIMERICK_MAN_RULES - November 19, 2008 6:11 PM
There was a young singer named Spears
Whose talent was left in arrears
Her songs, if you’ve heard
Are like polished up turds
Causing listeners to slice off their ears
28. supersex - November 19, 2008 6:18 PM
WTF, she's so special.
fucking retard
i'd still fuck her but she needs to keep her mouth shut..
29. humpin frog - November 19, 2008 6:31 PM
Thanks Limerick. Thought I would give it a go.
There once was a girl named Brit
And Randal (#8) thinks she is "It"
She enjoys her drugs
Acts like a buttplug
And expects us to give a shit
30. LIMERICK_MAN_APPLAUDES - November 19, 2008 7:01 PM
Limerick Man likes :)
31. LIMERICK_MAN_CONTRIBUTES - November 19, 2008 7:06 PM
(New Limerick Man prose can be found in the Eliot Spitzer whore interview write-up):
http://thesuperficial.com/2008/11/ashley_dupres_fifteen_minutes.php
32. mimi - November 19, 2008 8:00 PM
Britney is in the news and in this idiot-ass column almost every day.
Britney is here to stay...
so SHUT THE BLAH UP! !
33. LEB - November 19, 2008 8:30 PM
"I think I got married for the wrong reasons."
Um... NO SH*T!!??
34. krbcan - November 19, 2008 9:50 PM
She sounded incredibly bad. Off key and just really hard to listen to. How in the world does she still have a career?
35. baby jane - November 19, 2008 10:19 PM
well, i try not to ever get too down on B-rock--cause it is sorta like shootin' fish in a barrel--but i must say--give it up, girl--the life in your eyes is gone-if it is your therapy--do it for that--but the spark you once had for performance seems so far away
what was with her scary vegas slot -machine & rum n' coke addict smoker's speaking voice? deep and cracking and weird. and her verve in the "recording" booth was hysterical--yet more evidence of why dance music is more dance than music--all a ound kinda sad and creepy. oh well. and she doesn't even look that pretty--talk about a potato face. blech--maybe she'll turn it in, go gay and retire to a farm in oregon. probably be the best thing for her,
36. What Thee Sheeeeeet? - November 19, 2008 10:37 PM
The one thing I've learned from watching the above videos is I can sing a fuck load better than Spears. While you think this would give me more faith in myself is has just given me less faith in the world. Why the fuck are people still buying this shit?
37. Shawn - November 20, 2008 12:29 AM
Of course she can't sing. That's EXACTLY why she was so popular. When Britney first came onto the scene, every little girl between the ages of 6 and 16 saw her and thought, "Wow. She's really no different than me! I could be a star, too!" They've been living vicariously through her for the past decade.
38. 1moreidiotintheworld - November 20, 2008 6:40 AM
Who the fuck would want to torture themselves with 90 minutes of pure crap??? It would take less than 2 minutes to describe how a talentless bitch became a sensation, then a whore, then a trainwreck.... then finish with a few of the many, many snatch shots of her on the web. Now take the remaining 88 minutes and go thoroughly scrub that shit back out of your brain before it becomes a permanent memory and fucks up your thinking for the rest of your life...... seriously.
39. Mr. Meaty Pants - November 20, 2008 9:39 AM
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!!!
40. Micky Mc - November 20, 2008 12:04 PM
Ham Sandwiches everywhere are insulted.
41. BrittanyIsAFraud - November 20, 2008 12:05 PM
Randal you're kidding right? OMFG! You aren't? I have never heard more processed nasally baby voice singing in my life. I am sure if you stuck her with a microphone and no equipment she would sound like absolute shit.
42. sunshine - November 20, 2008 12:28 PM
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be popstars . . .
Let 'em be doctors and lawyers and such
43. Master of The Obvious - November 20, 2008 2:22 PM
People who don't want to hear about Britney are usually smart enough to not come to www.thesuperficial.com. Most smart people already know that this is BritneyParisAmyLindsayKimHeidiSpencer Central, and you will most likely see or read something about those people here on a regular basis, especially Britney, in fact, this is exactly where people come to see and read tawdry stories about people like her. So common sense, this is not the place to come if you don't want to hear about Britney and re-posting your message that you feel you are being subjected to Spears' drama is a waste of time and dumb. Guess some people aren't too smart.
44. IWONKY - November 20, 2008 2:25 PM
With parents like Britney and Kfed, those kids are probably braindead.
45. Sweater Meats - November 20, 2008 2:27 PM
Ham Sandwich is my cousin, very talented in the studio and sounds way better than Britney - Leave my cousin alone!
46. IWONKY - November 20, 2008 2:43 PM
How do you fuck Britney if her mouth is shut?
You'd have better luck, in her butt.
On second thought, my dick won't go there.
Not unless she's got her butt in the air.
I'd never put it in her cooch,
Unless I drink a gallon of hooch.
Cuz, I wanna live to fuck another day
I won't put it in her twat, no way.