Aug 12 2008Lesley & Alan Panettiere: 'We got drunk and did what now?'
Within hours of Hayden Panettiere's father Alan posting bail yesterday for assaulting his wife Lesley (FYI, they were both effing hammered), the two went for a public walk together as a sign of solidarity to show their love is as strong as ever.
ALAN: I blame whoever thought it'd be a great idea to have an open bar.
LESLEY: Dear, that was your idea.
ALAN: Works every time.
LESLEY: What works every time?
ALAN: I dunno.
LESLEY: You put vodka in this Frappucino bottle didn't you?
ALAN: Yup.
LESLEY: God, I love you.
ALAN: What was that? I threw up on the dog.

Reader Comments
1. rough daddy - August 12, 2008 9:47 AM
please dont make these people celebrities too,,,
2. RichPort - August 12, 2008 9:47 AM
I see the whole family is Lilliputian.
3. hate 'em - August 12, 2008 9:52 AM
He looks like Sting and she looks like every trashy live vicariously through my daughter who I whore out for fame and money momager. She also looks a lot like Rosanna Arquette, David Arquette's other sister.
4. Kim - August 12, 2008 9:52 AM
Hayden definitely looks more like her dad, but got her mom's eyebrows!! Let's hope she doesn't age like her mother, she'll look like an old leather bag by the time she's 30!
5. Chelsea - August 12, 2008 9:52 AM
Classy move with the big sunglasses to hide the bruises too...
6. morga - August 12, 2008 10:03 AM
mamma has some gross legs
7. surlywench - August 12, 2008 10:07 AM
Why the fuck are these people even remotely newsworthy??? Is there really nothing else going on in the celebutard world today? Sigh....
8. Sell Porn Make Money - August 12, 2008 10:11 AM
@ 7 - ditto. Show me more bikinis please.
9. BigBoneDaddy - August 12, 2008 10:16 AM
I hope they get hit by a doughnut truck.
10. Bastard out of Kentucky - August 12, 2008 10:16 AM
These pictures prove to me that Hayden Panatiere (sp?) is not human but rather leprechaun.
11. http://www.webescape.wordpress.com - August 12, 2008 10:16 AM
He hit her, why would she want to be with him no matter the circumstances, as for Hayden looking like her dad, well her Mum looks to have had so much surgery who knows what she used to look like when she was 18...
12. Prisoner number 080808 - August 12, 2008 10:24 AM
He should be wearing his wife beater T-shirt.
13. SuperG - August 12, 2008 10:52 AM
Some funny shit you guys!!
14. Ted Mosby - August 12, 2008 11:10 AM
Mamma looks good though I thought streetwalking happened at night.
15. The Geekologie Writer - August 12, 2008 11:52 AM
Look at that dog's body language. Something tells me Mrs. Bowlingball isn't the only one who gets hit in that family.
16. Barely Stearn - August 12, 2008 11:57 AM
Hey! Nuthin' says love like sharing a walk and a Frap! That bail money must have taken a big bite out of the household budget seeing as how they've been forced to share ONE outrageously overpriced Starbucks vomit-in-a-bottle drink...
Think he might be eyeballing the mailman in these pics: "Hey! Mail guy! Don't you be disrespectin' me!"
17. boo - August 12, 2008 12:32 PM
That dog is cracking me up. It looks like a cross between a pig and an ardvark.
And momma has seriously ugly legs.
18. http://www.webescape.wordpress.com - August 12, 2008 12:33 PM
#15 (happy b-da if indeed that is you) Spot on...
19. i hope not - August 12, 2008 12:50 PM
#15. I hope you are wrong, but Oh god look at that sad little guy that is just heatbreaking it really does look like he is abused. If they hit him they deserve to be hit by a bus or Kim Kardashian's ass which equals a fleet of buses and a steam train.
Maybe that's where Hayden got her love of animals, from watching her parents abuse the family pet. Does every teen star have sickening white trash, repulsive, useless, shit stain on the world, pittiful excuses for parents? Wait... those are the only types of people who raise child stars, never mind.
20. Jerry - August 12, 2008 1:19 PM
Jerry!
Jerry!
Jerry!
They'd fit right in on the Jerry Springer show.
21. k - August 12, 2008 1:37 PM
Do you think Hayden posted his bail?
22. The Laughing G-D - August 12, 2008 1:47 PM
Mama's got a case of shovel feet
23. Spanky - August 12, 2008 1:52 PM
"Didn't we make Hayden the last time we got drunk. Damn you women. Come over here and get your beatin."
Yeh, That is what he said. I heard it. I was there.
24. Spanky - August 12, 2008 1:53 PM
"Didn't we make Hayden the last time we got drunk. Damn you woman. Come over here and get your beatin."
Yeh, That is what he said. I heard it. I was there.
25. ben - August 12, 2008 7:35 PM
I like these pictures~~~~cute dogs~~But my suggestion for this beautiful lady is to remove her personal ad from Richromances.com which is no longer a right place for her
26. Hfire3 - August 12, 2008 11:19 PM
I think they put vodka in the dog's bowl. He looks hammered in that first shot.
27. cathy - August 12, 2008 11:51 PM
do you know they open their blog on a free interracial dating club ###[[[[[mixedloving .com]]]]]]###. they must hope their fans go there to support them, but their pics in the blog are reeally good.
28. bergos@planet.nl - August 13, 2008 7:54 AM
Wearing a white T-shirt: HE IS AS LAZY AS HELL, folks!!
29. dew - August 13, 2008 12:24 PM
I've only read this at one other site, so who really knows. But, I read that she actually struck him a few times before he struck her.
I'm all for punishing abusive men as severely as possible, but if a women is repeatedly striking a man, I couldn't blame him for hitting back one time.
But if the story isn't true, and she's an abused woman: everyone knows most of them cover for the husband for some mentally-wacked reason.
Oh, and I also read that his bond was $50,000. Is that a normal bond price for hitting someone?
30. Fatgirlsrule - August 13, 2008 8:51 PM
Why is Hayden on a leash?
31. JJ - August 13, 2008 9:32 PM
I thought her mum had brown hair? I only remember because when I saw a pic of Hayden and her mum I thought she bore a striking resemblance to Eva Longoria...
32. HelioMobile - August 14, 2008 6:24 PM
He's in good shape for his age! Maybe he is unbreakable like his daughter in HEROS.
and..
#17 I fell off my chair, good one !
33. Narcissist - August 15, 2008 8:07 AM
They look drunk, old and unhealthy in these pics.
@25 There's a beautiful lady in these pics? Somebody get that banged up broad some pants.
34. LA grl - August 16, 2008 9:58 PM
Her mother was on a soap opera when she was in her 20's, I believe. Her stage name is different than Hayden's and has corrected the press. She was a pretty brunette.
35. wartpig on leash - November 4, 2008 7:58 PM
"damnit!...um tired a havin' to walk around on this leash while this douche pulls me all over the place...damnit! decide you prick!...and if he hits me one more time when I'm tryin' to find a place to pee, I'm make him wish he'd never hit anyone before...grrrrr....grr.....grrrrr...rarrrrr.....(okay, imagine various ferocious fierce doggie noises)..grrrrrr...rarrrr...snap!!!!!
36. fluffy little three pointer - November 4, 2008 7:59 PM
huh?