Jul 3 2008Paris Hilton pitches the TV show from Hell

More: Britney Spears, Denise Richards, Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate Olsen, Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton thought up a TV show that will undoubtedly make me pay random strangers to throw an axe at my face. It's basically The View but hosted by famous celebrities who will address such topics as the paparazzi, career management and, most importantly, girl talk! At last, a show that tackles battling herpes while finding the perfect purse. Never stop dreaming, folks. The Chicago Sun Times reports:

Just imagine Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Tori Spelling -- as well as [Denise] Richards, Hilton and her former ''The Simple Life'' co-star, Nicole Richie -- together in one big two-hour special sharing ''their side'' of what it's like to be them.
That concept alone reportedly has intrigued a couple of cable channels initially contacted about the concept: Bravo and Lifetime.

In the future, historians wearing jet packs will point to this show's inception as the apex of civilization's decline. But then they'll find themselves addicted to the catty chatter ultimately dooming their own space-age utopia. Don't believe me? Just spend a good 30 seconds imagining Britney Spears' commentary on, shit, anything. If within the first 10 you don't shove your face in the oven, congratulations, you're a robot. Now fix me a drink, tinny!

Photos: Pacific Coast News

Comments (84)

Reader Comments

1. Seriously... - July 3, 2008 4:27 PM

Holy crap. I'm discontinuing my cable service and moving into a cave in the mountains. Fuck.

2. hi - July 3, 2008 4:29 PM

second

3. hi - July 3, 2008 4:30 PM

third

4. hi - July 3, 2008 4:31 PM

fourth hahahah

5. latty - July 3, 2008 4:31 PM

To think they cancelled Liza Minelli and David Gest's show for this! Tsk!

But truth be told, I'd watch....Probably more laughable than most sitcoms on TV. That and I'd love to see one of them crack on national TV.

6. Trey - July 3, 2008 4:31 PM

In a world that watches such idiotic shows as: Dancing with Celebrities, America's Got Talent, etc this moronic show will probably end up being #1.

On a side note, nice to see Paris' fake cleavage has resurfaced.

7. Doc - July 3, 2008 4:32 PM

I bet Paris had to take off her bra after the paps took the picture because her tits are so small and trying to make cleavage can be painful.

8. Sportsdvl - July 3, 2008 4:34 PM

#7 - Haha, having them smushed up like that probably gives her tiny brain a headache.

9. sla - July 3, 2008 4:36 PM

There is something funky about her cleavage. The girls are obviously pushed up (way, way up), but with what? It looks like the bottom of a bra was photoshopped out, as opposed to, say, the work of a low-cut, shove-em-in-from-the-sides brassiere.

10. Giomon_Rocks - July 3, 2008 4:38 PM

Damn, she'll do anything to keep herself in the limelight just a second longer including the fatter, balder (more desperate) Madden twin. I wonder if she'll discuss her herpes and several abortions on her "View"-like show.

11. mimi - July 3, 2008 4:39 PM

Fish-head is secretly in love with Paris!

12. yodolayheehoo - July 3, 2008 4:41 PM

I don't know but having to see them smushed up like that is giving ME a headache. ugh.

13. sean - July 3, 2008 4:47 PM

Go watch Married with Children - later in the series. One of the episodes has Kelly get her own TV show called "Important Issues and Stuff with Kelly Bundy" (or something close to that) This will be the same thing - only even more insipid

14. Mark - July 3, 2008 4:54 PM

In a way though, this is the best way to put these fame-whores out of their misery. Once people get a real sense of how incredibly dumb these dildos are, the tide will turn. Unfortunately, this will mean that The Superficial will cease to exist as we know it, and then humanity will truly be in decline.

15. Sicko - July 3, 2008 4:59 PM

Paris: "Last week I had a herpes outbreak and I wanted to, like, scratch my cootch sooo bad, but I didn't want a picture of me scratching myself in the tabloids."
Lindsey: "I know, right, I have to hang out with a dyke just so the paps will take pictures of me."
Britney: "Most people get away with minor hit and runs, but when you're famous there will always be proof of what you have done."

16. an outsider - July 3, 2008 5:05 PM

short. fat. ugly. kind of like the men here

17. Little Tits - July 3, 2008 5:20 PM

I'm small like Paris and I use wide surgical tape on the sides of my breasts to push them together. It is very uncomfortable. I only do it to take pictures and then I quickly take the tape off.

18. Spaminu Ranus - July 3, 2008 5:23 PM

I'd like to auger out her little smoking friend. She looks like she loves it in the ass.

19. Lulu - July 3, 2008 5:24 PM

What's with her tits?

20. Bmurphy72 - July 3, 2008 5:54 PM

Can about two dozen of these douches go off and die together, maybe a new version of St Elmo's Fire, but with a different ending. Like Bruce Lee's kid shoting the Crow. Then we can act like we morn them and move on.

21. Baddie Ben - July 3, 2008 5:55 PM

She must be promoting new Austin Powers movie. That can only explain why she is hanging with Dr Evil (not to be confused with Hangin' with Mr Cooper)

22. Sparky - July 3, 2008 5:56 PM

I think this show is a GREAT idea! They should set it up as a mock courtroom and let them each defend themselves against their own stupidity and insipidness. They could even combine a gong show type theme where when one of them says something truly annoying, a random audience member gets to set a large metal bowl on her head and strike it with a 5 pound sledge hammer. Repeatedly.

I'd buy that on pay-per-view.

23. momo - July 3, 2008 6:03 PM

she looks absolutely hot

I bone the living shit out of her for all of 30 seconds

24. douchebag Mcgee - July 3, 2008 6:11 PM

Oh Great, a giant fucking televised coke party.
Finally something new on tv.

25. Name Required - July 3, 2008 6:37 PM

FIRST BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wouldnt a show like that appeal to those of us who visit websites such as this?
i say YES it would
if its on..........im watchin it

26. Meow - July 3, 2008 6:43 PM

PARIS HAS A NEW LOOK! She's always worn pink and pastels, pink lipstick, and an ugly tan. She's gone goth. Have you ever seen her like this, with pale skin, all black clothing, and a skull necklace?

27. Angela - July 3, 2008 7:02 PM

Gross legs :S

28. Whitney Peyton - July 3, 2008 8:12 PM

hey! I dont know who runs this site.. but I sort of made an ode to you.. Im a white chick rapper so I took all the celebrity gossip and put it in rap form and put it on youtube. I credit thesuperficial.com under the "description" of the video. I just posted this vid like 5 sec ago Im hoping to do a little video weekly and have them get tons of plays!

i hope u check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCIxk3HhXhI

29. Chris - July 3, 2008 8:14 PM

haha

30. mar.mar - July 3, 2008 8:15 PM

she looks pretty!
and hes too ugly for her!
shes just doing it to get revenge on nichole!...you know she should have been in mean girls she wouldnt have even needed to act.

31. Jack - July 3, 2008 8:21 PM

I'd watch the show, really. Think about it, basically it would be a cross between "The View" and the '80's movie "Airplane". Now who wouldn't think THAT'S funny. Hell, they'll have to have extra staff on call in the ER from everyone who injures themselves rolling on the floor laughing.

32. Mr. Sleepyhead - July 3, 2008 8:24 PM

God help us all if she get's a TV show. At least it will provide more content for E! Talk Soup.

33. =Nats= - July 3, 2008 8:34 PM

Isn't that the bald guy from the Addams family?

34. geez - July 3, 2008 8:52 PM

boy george?

35. ME! - July 3, 2008 9:04 PM

#33 - Uncle Fester!

36. don - July 3, 2008 9:29 PM

it's either like #30 said that she's getting revenge on nicole or she just might be having an incredibly LONG herpes outbreak and this schmuck is the only one who will still bang her.

37. kate - July 3, 2008 9:48 PM

ha! in the first pic, you can totally see a chinese kid in the background looking very strange. kinda looks like the people off youtube ; nigahiga.

38. johnny - July 3, 2008 10:35 PM

It seems that the movie producers are runing out of show ideas and digging at the botom of the barrel.

39. samson - July 3, 2008 10:42 PM

I get it! Her boobs are upside-down!

40. PettyPape - July 3, 2008 11:18 PM

In the background of the 1st pic, it looks like Bobby Trendy.

41. roop - July 4, 2008 12:12 AM

At a glance I thought that was Billy Corgan and Courtney Love!

42. Slinx - July 4, 2008 1:14 AM

The asian homey in the background is chasing after the madden dude to get his sunnies back...cause its a really bright night.

43. Melissa - July 4, 2008 2:27 AM

Her knees always look so ashy and disgusting. She spends entirely way too much time on them. Put the infected dick down so you can take a loofah to those puppies. If the loofah doesn't work, upgrade to sandpaper. And learn how to moisturize properly.

44. randomhooters.com - July 4, 2008 3:18 AM

damn. paris hilton makes me sick

45. Sunny - July 4, 2008 5:13 AM

Paris is a cute babe...She was said to have a personal account with her hot pictures and blogs on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating. Quite a few fans and hot guys are found in her circle there

46. Please - July 4, 2008 7:15 AM

die #45, please.

47. gerard Vandenberg - July 4, 2008 8:07 AM

You're starring your own REAL-LIFE COMEDY?
IT'S FUNNY TO WATCH!!

48. In the interest of stirring the shit . . . - July 4, 2008 8:33 AM

. . . I've posted a link to the TNB World video yet again. Please watch and then have a tantrum, otherwise things will be awfully slow.

If you don't have a PC tantrum, you're a racist.

49. Just . . . - July 4, 2008 8:47 AM

. . . imagine Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Tori Spelling -- as well as [Denise] Richards, Hilton and her former ''The Simple Life'' co-star, Nicole Richie -- together in one big two-hour special sharing their views on the TNB Video in front of an all black audience . . .

50. Blah - July 4, 2008 9:08 AM

Gah. Paris totally let herself be moulded by uglyface. That is not her style or look at all.

51. Grunion - July 4, 2008 9:51 AM

So who is more vapid, the losers making the show or the losers who will watch it ?

52. FCS - July 4, 2008 9:52 AM

She's more masculine than her boyfriend. And he's fucking bald.

53. Jessica - July 4, 2008 10:00 AM

is it just me or does he look like boy george with no make up on in these pictures??

54. Amy - Personal Trainers Austin - July 4, 2008 11:26 AM

Gag me with a spoon. This is a terrible idea for a show. Glad I got rid of cable.

55. Jenn - July 4, 2008 1:06 PM

In the movie Southland Tales, the porn star chick had a show just like this. What if this is the last sign of the end of the world. >.< Oh well I don't have American TV anymore so I cant accidentally watch it, I would have to try and see it if I ever had the masochistic urge...

56. Corey - July 4, 2008 7:43 PM

She's starting to look old. Looks like a 30 plus woman now.

57. shankyouverymuch - July 5, 2008 5:06 AM

What a disgustingly ugly Uncle Fester looking fuck. That white bald douche bag needs to crawl back under the rock he came from! How can she stand him even touching her - YUCK ... :O(

58. Lacrimosa - July 5, 2008 6:00 AM

I think my tv would commit suicide if it aired such a thing.

59. twiss - July 5, 2008 4:49 PM

i think paris looks really pretty here. but her boyfriend.......i do not understand the appeal.........

ps. i would def be watching that show if aired!

60. Lurch - July 6, 2008 3:04 AM

Man i am cracking up at that gangsta kid in the background of the first pic

61. Melissa - July 6, 2008 10:24 AM

I wonder what the catch will be... someone like Paris Hilton doesn't date someone that:

A) has the name Benji

b) looks like he has either one too many or is short one chromosome like Benji

So yeah. Like I said, I wonder what the catch is. Big dick? TV spin-off, such as this? People are afraid of the raging herpes flareup, and Benji seemed to be the only person who was awestruck that it was Paris' infected axe wound? Stay tuned for more details.... Dun, dun DUN!!!!!!!

62. krazihotkelli - July 6, 2008 10:31 AM

zhe is z0 grozz!!!!!

63. techclerk - July 6, 2008 2:19 PM

Who gives a fuck what it is like to be one of them? I don't care. A day in the life of any of these snobs has absolutely no gravitational pull on my day. I don't care if every last one of them dies before the end of the year. It would not affect me in any way whatsoever

64. techclerk - July 6, 2008 2:22 PM

I'd rather see a show where women talk about what it is like to NOT BE Paris.

65. Valley Girl - July 6, 2008 9:06 PM

I am so sure that she does 30 minute lips, so sure!

66. Softkiss - July 7, 2008 7:36 AM

You guys wanna meet hot young women she? just go soloparentdate.com

67. Jeffer - July 7, 2008 9:38 AM

Is that true? Her blog and photos where just seen at millionaire persoanal site ******R I C H L O V I N G.C O M*****last week. It is said she is already in relationship with a young billionaire on that site now.

68. sunshine - July 7, 2008 9:52 AM

Reminds me of a young Uncle Fester.

69. Hussein - July 7, 2008 10:22 AM

Boy George has gone goth

70. parislover - July 7, 2008 3:32 PM

I hope this dude is a phase..she used to be a princess..now she looks like she is ready to pull the trigger!! This guy is nasty ..trying to fit in somewhere with Nicole, but this is definetly not her,cant wait for it to be over! YUCK!! That guy is nasty ..bet she fucks him with eyes closed dreaming of fucking her exs lmao!!

71. PooPants - July 8, 2008 4:30 AM

Yeah, she's wearing these paste-on things that lift your boobs up. I think they're called Lift-its...grosss...

72. Ann - July 10, 2008 6:16 AM

bitch needs to moisturize those knees!

73. Brandon Witte - July 12, 2008 3:51 PM