Jun 4 2008Lily Allen, I think I love you
Lily Allen attended the UK Glamour Women of the Year Awards last night and no, you're not tripping, that is Bambi on her dress spewing blood. Being the savvy type, Lily knew there's only one accessory to complement such an outfit: a blind, raging drunk. After taking home the Editor's Special Award, Lily celebrated by guzzling anything she could get her hands on. Sources tell me at one point she tried to chug a wristwatch. NY Daily News reports:
Allen had to be carried out of the ceremony's afterparty by a bouncer after hitting the sauce a little too hard. She admitted, via her MySpace blog, that she's feeling "awful" today after getting "very drunk."
"It's not cool getting that drunk," she said. "Kids, drink responsibly or you'll end up looking like this - not pretty!"
Oh yeah, she's the one. Lily Allen, will you marry me? I couldn't imagine a more beautiful wedding than the one where my darling bride sucker-punches the Maid of Honor before ralphing on the priest. *sniff* It's too beautiful for words. (Not counting the ones I just typed.)
EDIT: Added pics of a totally shit-faced Lily getting loaded into her car - where she then elbowed the guy carrying her in the face. I want you.
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Reader Comments
1. BigGyrl - June 4, 2008 1:01 PM
Lily who?????
2. Chupacabra - June 4, 2008 1:01 PM
too bad all that beer fat can't go to her boobs.
FLAT CHESTED LILY ALLEN!
3. FIRST - June 4, 2008 1:01 PM
FOIST.
4. FIRST - June 4, 2008 1:03 PM
Aww, not foist. Back to masturbating in my pile of Cheetos...
That dress is amazing.
5. FRIST!!! - June 4, 2008 1:04 PM
Haha!!! What a great dress. Disturbing, just like I like!!
And the hair? Well that's just GREAT. It's 8 shades pinker than mine..
6. Jimbo - June 4, 2008 1:07 PM
A sloppy drunk AND a big fat pig. Pass.
7. OnlyGayEskimo - June 4, 2008 1:08 PM
I think she is adorable in a creepy sort of way.
If I had a penis, I would definitely do her.
8. Jumpin_J - June 4, 2008 1:13 PM
Amy Winehouse in training? I love the Brits. Cheers!
9. hacksaw - June 4, 2008 1:14 PM
I'd hit it.
10. erica - June 4, 2008 1:14 PM
So am I the only one who thinks she looking banging in these pics?
11. evilbill - June 4, 2008 1:16 PM
@6 You've never passed on that combo before, why the change of heart?
12. veggi - June 4, 2008 1:17 PM
hahahaha!! bambi! blood! gown! *breathes*
that's fucking brilliant!!
13. Ted from LA - June 4, 2008 1:17 PM
Yes, Erica. You're alone there. However, isn't it Bambi's mom that got blasted and not Bambi?
14. wookielove - June 4, 2008 1:17 PM
She looks freakin adorable, I could just pinch those cheeks!
15. Jackson'shole - June 4, 2008 1:18 PM
The pink hair looks good on her.
16. BigGyrl - June 4, 2008 1:23 PM
I would have saved this dress to wear to the PETA benefit.
This is a GLAMOUR sponsored event. If she really wanted to offend them, she should have worn last year's Oscar DelaRenta and a two year old pair of Manolo's!
17. UNCLE NED - June 4, 2008 1:24 PM
"At age 15, Allen spent four weeks at The Priory clinic under 24 hour watch after the singer, distraught over a breakup with a boyfriend, took an overdose and tried to cut her wrists."
If she succeeded, would anyone care? So, why does anyone care now?
18. BigGyrl - June 4, 2008 1:25 PM
....and the hairdo?
I would have went to a local mall or even a home coloring kit!!!
19. Auntie Kryst - June 4, 2008 1:30 PM
Dear Tara, I still love you but I want to date other people.. PS I'm going to London on vacation, please water the plants. There's Jager and a case of Natty Light in the fridge.
20. Jackson - June 4, 2008 1:30 PM
KIM KARDASKANK IS FAT...BLAH BLAH BLAH BUTT GIRDLES AND PHOTOSHOP.
By the way, I'm a fucking retard with no life.
Jackson
21. Jackson - June 4, 2008 1:30 PM
KIM KARDASKANK IS FAT...BLAH BLAH BLAH BUTT GIRDLES AND PHOTOSHOP.
By the way, I'm a fucking retard with no life.
Jackson
22. Jackson - June 4, 2008 1:30 PM
KIM KARDASKANK IS FAT...BLAH BLAH BLAH BUTT GIRDLES AND PHOTOSHOP.
By the way, I'm a fucking retard with no life.
Jackson
23. Jackson - June 4, 2008 1:30 PM
KIM KARDASKANK IS FAT...BLAH BLAH BLAH BUTT GIRDLES AND PHOTOSHOP.
By the way, I'm a fucking retard with no life.
Jackson
24. Jackson - June 4, 2008 1:30 PM
KIM KARDASKANK IS FAT...BLAH BLAH BLAH BUTT GIRDLES AND PHOTOSHOP.
By the way, I'm a fucking retard with no life.
Jackson
25. britney spears - June 4, 2008 1:33 PM
i hope this cunt dies slowly.
she is so not attractive.
are you people blind?
i am prettier than this bitch, ugly as fuck.
26. D - June 4, 2008 1:33 PM
She looks great with that pink hair. Now if I could only see the other places where she's pink...
27. flyingskeleton - June 4, 2008 1:38 PM
i just relized that she looks like a cubbie phobe cates. you might remember phobe cate from fast times. i also like that she has many naked pictures of her self on the web but then tells kids not to drink. I want her to be the mother of my children.
28. wowsa - June 4, 2008 1:44 PM
You know what? She has quite the BEAUTIFUL face really. Honestly.
29. monica - June 4, 2008 1:47 PM
I have no clue who she is, but I adore the dress. I'd like one please.
30. evilbill - June 4, 2008 1:51 PM
@27 I'm sure you will get a lot of flack for comparing her to Pheobe Cates, but I was thinking the same thing. Although more like Pheobe from Drop Dead Fred. Also, don't think she looks that chubby in these pics, looks like she's dropped a few pounds since the last pics of her on here.
31. Loud Fat Pig... - June 4, 2008 1:54 PM
...that's what she is. Gee, Lily, are you trying to make some type of point? Her act is amusing. To retards.
32. FRIST!!! - June 4, 2008 1:56 PM
#27 I applaud your spelling abilities, first of all, secondly, she never told kids not to drink. She tells them to drink responsively.
She's not my mother..
33. Kat - June 4, 2008 2:03 PM
I like Lily Allen - either she had the sense to release the drunken pics would end up all over the net and decided to provide a pre-emptive quote, OR she had the sense to listen to someone else tell her to do it. I think the pink hair is great, too!
34. Jimboooo! - June 4, 2008 2:06 PM
I would. I think you would too.
And the dress is A1.
35. snarky - June 4, 2008 2:15 PM
I'd say that's quirky-cute; but, in fact, its just disturbing. Lily in her handmade dress; it looks like a homemade mess from hell made by some deranged & disgruntled housewife. I think its just a cry for help from Lily; she seems really f'd ever since her miscarriage; hope she gets the help she needs.
36. Pat - June 4, 2008 2:16 PM
The problem is that she got drunk and ate the miscarriage. She hasn't been quite right ever since.
37. free lily - June 4, 2008 2:27 PM
she has pretty eyes
38. Andy - June 4, 2008 2:36 PM
Fat chick: ugly.
The truth is never complicated.
39. flyingskeleton - June 4, 2008 2:49 PM
@30 yeah i think so too, but in most newest published pictures of her, she was a little big. I didn't think she was that cute when she was skinny as a pole though, like on her album cover. i'm sure see will find a happy medium.
40. Ted from LA - June 4, 2008 2:50 PM
Folks!!! CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME IF IT WAS BAMBI OR HIS FUCKING MOM THAT GOT SHOT? I'm worried my memory is fading and that poor little Bambi took a bullet. What was I writing about? Oh yeah, Tom Cat looks like R.P. McMurphy after the lobotomy. Was that an (wait for it.......wait for it.....................................................) inside job they did on McMurphy? So as I was saying, Big Brown is going to win the triple crown from Post 1 come Saturday.
41. Ted from LA is the new Randal - June 4, 2008 2:55 PM
makes sense to me
42. gerard Vandenberg - June 4, 2008 2:57 PM
THINK BIG............................................................................act small!!
43. BAMBI - June 4, 2008 3:04 PM
LILY ALLEN IS A CUNT! C U N T!!!
44. tanlin - June 4, 2008 3:07 PM
i don't think she's wearing any makeup!!!!!!!!!!
that's fucking amazing. she looks great w/o it.
kudos to this girl, that's a ballsy move that none of the hollywood skanks would make
45. vapidelf - June 4, 2008 3:07 PM
She has lovely teeth.
46. Sara - June 4, 2008 3:11 PM
I actually think she has a pretty face she looks cute
47. Erica - June 4, 2008 3:19 PM
I love her, but that dress is horrid. Now just because I'm a vegetarian and I love animals, no I'm not a Democrat. But ehhh that dress is wrong.
I like the hair though. The blonde looked BAD. But now it looks cute. Also, she does look like she's wearing no makeup. That's amazing.
48. Erica - June 4, 2008 3:21 PM
#47. Now just because ^
not* not now.
49. Kimberly - June 4, 2008 3:24 PM
Holy shit!! Blood-spewing Bambi?! My eyes passed over the pattern, and I thought THEY WERE FLOWERS!!
50. flyingskeleton - June 4, 2008 3:26 PM
in one of the pictures when the guy is putting her in the car. one of the bouncers has his hand on her left breast.
http://celebslam.buzznet.com/lily-allen-wasted/lily-allen-wasted-14jpg
51. flyingskeleton - June 4, 2008 3:26 PM
in one of the pictures when the guy is putting her in the car. one of the bouncers has his hand on her left breast.
http://celebslam.buzznet.com/lily-allen-wasted/lily-allen-wasted-14jpg
52. Todd Dice - June 4, 2008 3:34 PM
Lily is great and NOT FAT! What is up with liking skinny assed chicks? Give me Lily over Kate Moss any day!
53. Stephanie - June 4, 2008 3:34 PM
I think she looks super hot.
54. NY Ted - June 4, 2008 3:34 PM
Lily Allen...I THINK YOU ARE A FUCKING PIG!
Who the fuck is Lily Allen...???
55. dogonabone - June 4, 2008 3:41 PM
@32; not responsiVely, but responsiBly. although, your way is probably better fun.
love the dress.
56. The Kilted Yaksman - June 4, 2008 3:50 PM
Why is it that everybody here calling her fat sounds like a catty gay guy? Do you twinks only like the stick thin ones because they remind you of 14 year old boys?
57. Tabby - June 4, 2008 3:58 PM
I would kill to be able to suit this shade of pink, she looks great in it.. Much better than the plain bleached hair.
58. Nathiest - June 4, 2008 5:16 PM
I fucking love that dress!
59. malicious - June 4, 2008 5:27 PM
Lilly Allen rocks, not many celebs are happy to say they like getting wasted and giving head - keeping it real
60. britney's weave - June 4, 2008 5:48 PM
Jem!
Jem is excitement
Oooh, Jem!
Jem is adventure
Oooh...
Glamour and glitter,
Fashion and fame
Jem! Jem is my name.
61. Flavio - June 4, 2008 6:00 PM
I don't know what it is, but I find her incredibly sexy. wanna hold her hips and tell her how bad she is. I could lure her with a bowl of mojito on the floor and a straw...
62. Mike - June 4, 2008 6:07 PM
Miscarriage = Abortion. Just look at the dress, which is all about slaughtering innocence. She does look cute in these pictures but I'd stay away unless you want tearful laughing fits and eventually an ice pick in your eyeball.
63. fletcher - June 4, 2008 6:18 PM
Remember when attractive celebs were actually attractive? This girl is way below average and I think she has skin cancer too. Gro-dee.
64. Bageenerpoofaciliousdifolerian - June 4, 2008 7:02 PM
She looks okay, the dress if fine ... just stop singing. God almighty, it's like music sauteed in retard accent.
65. Old Dude - June 4, 2008 7:23 PM
The pink hair makes her look about 14, like the girls I was warned not to stare at at a recent Japanese animation convention.
66. blowhard - June 4, 2008 7:38 PM
#55
Nice, I noticed that too. The asshat at 32 having a pop at somebody's spelling and then fucking it up, brilliant.
Lily needs a bit of help I think, probably since her dad is a total douche, some weird little Saturday evening TV actor named Keith. I'd still plow her though.
67. http://www.UltrasoundShirts.com - June 4, 2008 8:57 PM
I can't beleive how many people I have seen in that dress, it is so last season!!!
68. Hamper Lint - June 4, 2008 9:53 PM
The poor guys face is as pink as her hair.
69. Mr V - June 4, 2008 9:56 PM
@60 britney's weave:
Many wins for you. Awesome segue into 80s cartoon reference.
Seriously, somebody should go ahead and directly compare the current crop of pop stars and measure them up against the combined work of the Jem series (new original song written EACH episode). Everyone's been exposed to so much crap they think it's normal and therefore acceptable.
70. your_suicidal_english_teacher - June 5, 2008 2:00 AM
#18 Her hair looks amazing! Maybe you might have GONE to a local mall, but you'd be better off with a remedial English class.
It's "I went" (past tense) or "I would have gone" (perfect conditional) or "I have gone" (present perfect). There's no such tense as "I would have went".
71. cady - June 5, 2008 3:21 AM
In addition, i want to inform you that someone here is keeping saying you are seeking a sugar girl on !!!.S u g a r D a d d y conNec t . c o m recently.. maybe you need to stop the slurring!
72. begalmonster - June 5, 2008 4:18 AM
What's weird is she used to totally not even register on my radar, but just when I actually start to really like this chick, she starts going all Tara Reid on us. She's clearly got a wicked sense of humor and a cool "I give a f*ck" attitude, but seeing yet another British poptart circle the drain in public is a bit much for me.
73. Janine - June 5, 2008 6:09 AM
Woah, she looks like Rainbow brite on acid!
How in hell is that considered glamorous???
74. coco - June 5, 2008 7:47 AM
Who is she?
The dress and shoes are cute in a sick sort of way, the rest is unextraordinary. Pink hair? Might have been cool in the mid-nineties but not anymore, sweetheart.
75. BigGyrl - June 5, 2008 8:52 AM
#70
Go suck a dick!
Have you ever sucked a dick before?
I saw you sucking your brother's dick!
Maybe you can suck your dad's dick later this evening.
Enough TENSES for your dumb ass?
76. Keith created a blob as thick as pig shit. - June 5, 2008 9:42 AM
She's an obnoxious idiot., who thinks if you express an opinion [any opinion, whether it's retarded or not] loudly enough it makes it important and right.
77. Natalia - June 5, 2008 10:30 AM
I think she's prettier than most British women. Call her a chav if you will, at least she's pretty.
78. jem - June 5, 2008 12:42 PM
oouuuhhh I loved Jem!!!
thanks for reminding me #60
79. meh - June 5, 2008 4:48 PM
lost all my respect
80. gayman - June 5, 2008 5:25 PM
good one #56
81. EAC - June 5, 2008 5:55 PM
Gorgeous hair colour - really suits her. Love it.
82. ferlo - June 5, 2008 8:45 PM
she's fucking gnarly. her dress is a sly way to display her wicked, demented sense of humor. at least she's an individual unlike most of the females posted on this site. AND she looks good while she parties hard. I'd get crunk with her any day!
83. roop - June 5, 2008 9:45 PM
#10, I agree, go figure she does look bangin' good in this pics.
Okay now on to the obligatory insult:
Homie carrying her into the limo only got elbowed in the face cos he was trying to cop a feel of her titties couldn't find them and gave himself away muttering "Hmm...no thats not them, is it here? Ooops, belly button, unless of course that's an inverted 3rd nip."
84. :p - June 5, 2008 9:49 PM
Love that crazy dress.
As to the dumb fucks involved in the comments section spelling/grammar wars:
Smart people--> you will never win. Dumb people who barely finished school, if at all, will never understand where the fuck they need to put an apostrophe. Or the proper use of tenses. Or the fact that the English language is NOT spelled phonetically. In trying to correct these people, you are being stupid: would you waste your time explaining astrophysics to a brain-damaged vegetable? No. Stop being a "looser".
Dumbasses--> I unnerstan that it isent ur fault u r stoopid and can not learn. So I wont tell u to keep quite and try to improove urself an learn to spell rite. It is ur rite and privilige to wright whatever u wanna on the inernet!!! don't feel emberrasment. don't take they're harrassmint. be proud of who u r! Who cares what the grammer and spellin popozaos r sayin? definately stick too what u no! riting FUNNY comments on the inernet gossip sights, suckin a liddle dik, an smokin a liddle crack!
85. herbiefrog - June 5, 2008 11:07 PM
hello...
wow... this was along post
we think she's cute
and we think she's noticed : )
so... hey babe : ))
[say nothing]
86. el ces - June 6, 2008 2:21 PM
Naw, shes pretty here. Lil' bow in her hair.
You'd never suspect that potty mouth.
87. kitty_kat - June 6, 2008 2:34 PM
I'm with #76: This woman is so obnoxious. And she's an idiot. Ugly on the outside and ugly on the inside as well.
88. hi - June 6, 2008 4:38 PM
Her face is sooooo greasy looking.........
89. Anna from Holland - June 7, 2008 9:32 AM
people who are calling lilly allen fat are all crazy stupid idiots! no wonder that alot of woman are anorexic. Lily looks very healthy and beautiful and she doesnt need so much make up to look good! and the pink hair looks good on her aswell