Mar 3 2008Kate Hudson's belly: So there's this thing called a condom....
It seems I'm staring at a lot of celebrity pouches these days to determine if a baby is, medically speaking, up in that ass. In Kate Hudson's case it's looking pretty conclusive that she is, indeed, with child. These pictures were taken last night in Miami and, I dunno, it's kind of hard to refute the babyness. However, on Saturday, she's not looking so knocked up while riding a bike in a bikini with a conveniently placed t-shirt. Who knows? Which is coincidentally the answer Kate will give when asked who the father is. That being said, she was dating Heath Ledger so maybe he's living on in some way. You know, as a bastard child who will inevitably see Owen Wilson's penis. Ah, the circle of life. Quick, somebody fetch me a lion cub to hold in the air. I promise not to throw it at the UPS guy this time.
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Reader Comments
1. FRIST!!! - March 3, 2008 9:02 AM
FIRST you smegma chugging semen sluts
2. aklsdliegh - March 3, 2008 9:06 AM
She is cute.. I have seen her photo on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named " Searching Millionaire dot com".. Many men winked at her there.
3. tina - March 3, 2008 9:07 AM
My sister told me she met her new bf through BillionaireFriends.co m. Is that true? I think everyone would like to see what their profiles look like.
4. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong - March 3, 2008 9:08 AM
Um, I'm confused. How could Heath Ledger have knocked up a dude? I mean, I've seen ironing boards with bigger hooters (or when they're that small are they called hooties?) than hers. I mean his.
5. ihumpedtinassister - March 3, 2008 9:16 AM
#2 and 3...yeah, your sister is cute, especially after I did the ol' dirty sanchez on her. your mom wasn't so lucky...sorry about her eye infection...I was aiming for her mouth. I did see your profile camelcocksuckingspammers.com...many men winked at you. others simply bent you over and rammed it home.
6. Celebrity Plastic Surgery - March 3, 2008 9:25 AM
Looks weird
7. junior - March 3, 2008 9:25 AM
She's lookin more and more like her mom everyday....I would be concerned if I were her
8. Celebrity Plastic Surgery - March 3, 2008 9:26 AM
Looks weird.. anyway i think kate's ok.
http://CelebritySurgery.net
9. Auntie Kryst - March 3, 2008 9:27 AM
Sock it to me. She looks just like her mother (at a younger age) in that first pic.
10. stickit - March 3, 2008 9:27 AM
#5- I couldn't have said it better myself! Unless you're here to insult celebutards, GET OFF OUR SITE!
That is all. Commence with the snark.
11. sherry - March 3, 2008 9:34 AM
wow who's the daddy this could really interesting
12. Feel_the_velvet - March 3, 2008 9:43 AM
That kid is going to be one hungry little boy or girl....at least for the first several months.
13. RichPort - March 3, 2008 9:44 AM
It's called SWALLOWING Kate... and it's done with the mouth not, I repeat, NOT the vagina.
14. D. Richards (Saint.) - March 3, 2008 9:52 AM
So Kate flies three-thousand miles to ride a fucking bike. Great fun.
Speaking of bicycles: women -- please, for the sake of not looking totally retarded, never, ever, under any circumstances, ride a bicycle, ever -- totally.
'OMG', a maniacal villain has kidnapped your pug (Dancy) and is threatening to kill her if you don't meet his every demand! He's placing calls to different phone booths in an allotted amount of time and you have to be at each booth so that he can make sure you're not being followed! You can take a cab, but are broke -- you've been waiting for that check from the local overnight fertility clinic for testing diaphrams and selling your eggs; wait for the bus, but the Mexican's are looking particularly filthy; or take a seventy-five pound bike!
Walk.
15. Grunion - March 3, 2008 9:53 AM
Wow. how thrilling. unless K fed did it, I could care less.
16. erotik filmler - March 3, 2008 9:55 AM
thanx man
17. Lisa - March 3, 2008 9:57 AM
#4-how big is YOUR cock-asshole???
18. Lisa - March 3, 2008 9:57 AM
#4-how big is YOUR cock-asshole???
19. Lisa - March 3, 2008 9:57 AM
#4-how big is YOUR cock-asshole???
20. RichPort - March 3, 2008 10:04 AM
Apparently Lisa is waiting with her measuring tape... man up #5...
21. GUT THIS WHORE ALREADY - March 3, 2008 10:12 AM
YEAH, SHE WAS DATING HEATH LEDGER IF BY DATING YOU MEAN "SPUN AROUND ON HIS DICK ONE NIGHT"
22. gossipmonger - March 3, 2008 10:14 AM
Lisa, # 4 is too insecure to answer you, I guess... When your dick is smaller than your baby finger, that happens...But then again, it (#4) DOES sound like a 12 year old boy so what can we expect...
If you'd have asked Richport, on the other hand, I suspect we'd be linked with photos of his 9-1/2" 'rod of pleasure'...lol
23. lucifer's left nut - March 3, 2008 10:14 AM
i hope it is heath's baby so that michelle can go "cling to all that is left of him" in a baby he had with some other whore. it will kill michelle to know she's not the only chick heath forgot to pull out of.
24. amma - March 3, 2008 10:14 AM
She looks like her mom until you see her fugly face--and then the story gets sad. Yup, she looks pretty freaking pregnant. Hahahahah...she probably doesn't even know who the father is. Anyhoo, I can't believe that this site can't control spammers--every other freaking site does, get on it!
25. D. Richards (Slob.) - March 3, 2008 10:21 AM
No, Lisa said 'cock-asshole'.
She's trying to gauge the distance between that guy's dick, and asshole, or for the layman: 'Taint.'
Lisa's a painter.
26. nana - March 3, 2008 10:27 AM
i can't get the pics to load! the dress ones look photoshopped in the thumbnails though. ???
27. nana - March 3, 2008 10:30 AM
oh, and even if she had larger breasts, she'd still look like a twelve-year-old boy on that bike.
28. Stacie - March 3, 2008 10:37 AM
She looks like her mom in this photo. They are both cutie pies. And I like the fact that none of them got implants too. Although I have a nice rack; not all men are into breasts and implants. Some men actually focus on the legs. And they both have nice legs
29. Paige - March 3, 2008 10:40 AM
i love your writing, it's just terribly amusing and brilliant!
30. Bmurphy72 - March 3, 2008 10:55 AM
Enough with the BILLION, GAZILLIONAIRE dating shit. You wont date them, you wont become their new BFF or even their fluffer (maybe Nicholas Cage's).
This shit is funny, LOVE the Superficial (not trying to kiss ass). But give it a break.
31. FRIST!!! - March 3, 2008 10:58 AM
Hey, #1, please have some respect and do not troll me until after I've had a cup of coffee.
Thanks..
32. Ted Mosby - March 3, 2008 10:59 AM
Damn, so that was Kate Hudson I was doing 2 months ago??
33. agree - March 3, 2008 11:04 AM
Kate is so beautiful. I love her. It is said she is dating a young billionaire on "W e a l t h yR o m a n c e . c o m" now. Her profile was found on that site last week.
34. toolboy - March 3, 2008 11:16 AM
I don't really have an opinion of Kate yet, so I recounted this story to the guy who begs for spare change at the corner gas station. "Muzz" (not Muzz Scillings from Living Colour, I asked) as he likes to be called, reads the tabloids regularly so he is relatively aware of who Heath and Kate are (er, were). He was very surprised to learn that Kate may be preggers with Heath's baby. And I quote:
"Daaaaaamn. That pastie little white boy was all up in them guts? That's fucked up."
Yes, Muzz, he may have indeed been all up in them guts....
35. Mike - March 3, 2008 11:18 AM
@32 would that be Irish coffee??
36. OutRunner1 - March 3, 2008 11:33 AM
Should have done her in the butt. No chance of pregnancy there. Unless she farts while in the doggy position...
37. kitty_kat - March 3, 2008 11:38 AM
Probably a long shot, but I really hope that its Owen Wilson's baby and not Heath's.
38. kitty_kat - March 3, 2008 11:39 AM
And haven't any of these Hollywood idiots ever heard of condoms or birth control?
39. Owen Wilson - March 3, 2008 12:23 PM
Just looks to me as if her belly has been filled with an early morning cup of jiz. I know she loves that stuff. Right from the Butterscotch Stallion tap.
40. Ang - March 3, 2008 1:41 PM
How did Owen licking her asshole get her pregnant?
41. kirsten dunst - March 3, 2008 2:43 PM
look at her on her bike..so fucking cute.
42. Ted from LA - March 3, 2008 3:19 PM
She should be wearing a helmet on that bike. Or else she'll go from looking so fucking cute to so fucking brain injured... like Mike the goat fucker.
43. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong - March 3, 2008 3:36 PM
Lisa, it's almost as big as your mangina. Based on your reaction, I'm guessing your tits are pretty much nonexistant. Angry, ugly and flat is no way to go through life, manginalisa.
44. Stephanie - March 3, 2008 4:39 PM
She probably just ate lunch. Or exhaled.
45. Neybirt - March 3, 2008 5:14 PM
I hate the fashion right now. It makes women wear these unflattering baggy shirts. Im not gonna buy one tho cause i dont want no one to think im pregnant
46. Lindsay - March 3, 2008 6:45 PM
Look at her sleeve, wind is blowing up her skirt
47. Condom Man - March 3, 2008 7:08 PM
CONDOM MAN DOES NOT APPROVE
48. Juaqin Ingles - March 3, 2008 7:15 PM
I'm surprised no one's said "she's not pregnant, this is how a real woman is supposed to look" or some such nonsense.
49. Cthulha - March 3, 2008 7:31 PM
Isn't that Goldie Hawn???
50. yerrrr - March 3, 2008 8:25 PM
no one sees that camel toe in the back ground?
51. Obvious - March 3, 2008 8:45 PM
My question is how were her bangs short then the next day long? Sillies that IS Goldie Hawn. I knew the facial features were off to be Kate but the hair sealed it for me.
52. ellen - March 4, 2008 3:49 AM
She is so gorgeous. But I am very cucious. Why did she post her profile on a celebrities and wealthy website named
"wealthydater. com".. What is she looking for there?
53. fucktard - March 4, 2008 6:04 AM
For chrissakes it's a breeze. The dress is made of silk. It billowed out.....believe it or not, not everyone wears skin tight clothes that make them look ridden with angst against circulation. She's not pregnant.