Feb 12 2008Paris Hilton's little brother gets DUI
Barron Hilton got his first DUI at 8:30 AM PST today in Malibu. The 18-year-old brother of Paris Hilton is currently being booked at Lost Hill's Sheriff station. That's the same station where Mel Gibson decided "sugar tits" was a great nickname for his arresting officer. TMZ reports:
Cops tell TMZ he was driving a black Mercedes on Pacific Coast Highway with a passenger -- not one of his sisters-- when he was pulled over at a 76 gas station.
While being arrested, Barron pleaded with the cops: "Please. I'll get you anything. Money. Cars. Uh, my sister Paris will sleep with you!" Several officers drew their guns until Barron rescinded the offer. A forty year veteran of the force went home shaking. He'd worked homicide and saw things that would make a grown man weep like a baby. But an offer like this? Jesus, where is the humanity?

Reader Comments
1. First! - February 12, 2008 1:25 PM
First suckas!!!!
2. First!!!! - February 12, 2008 1:26 PM
FIRST!!!!!
3. Condom Man - February 12, 2008 1:31 PM
CONDOM MAN DOES NOT APPROVE OF PARIS'S VA-JAY-JAY
4. Snarf - February 12, 2008 1:34 PM
Tyra Banks craps her pants and threatens to sue a cancer patient last week and here we are getting stories about Paris Hilton's little brother.
Fat bitches are crapping their pants and all we hear about all day is Hilton, Britney, Lohan, Hilton, Britney, Lohan, Winehouse, Hilton, Britney, Lohan...
What kind of bullshit is that? Where the fuck are you getting your stories from?
5. 100% onehundred percent - February 12, 2008 1:35 PM
Proud family heritage.....
not
6. PoohEater - February 12, 2008 1:37 PM
Boy, he must really like sunglasses.
7. beerdotcom - February 12, 2008 1:37 PM
#4: Well sadi, who gives a flying fuck about Paris Hiltons brother? Who gives a flying fuck about Paris Hilton for that matter? Habing said that, the write up foer this was pretty funny.
8. D4P - February 12, 2008 1:38 PM
Someone get this kid a reality show. Stat!
9. beerdotcom - February 12, 2008 1:38 PM
#4: Well said, who gives a flying fuck about Paris Hiltons brother? Who gives a flying fuck about Paris Hilton for that matter? Habing said that, the write up foer this was pretty funny.
10. Famous Plastic - February 12, 2008 1:38 PM
That is SO classic. So much more interesting then what gas station Britney Spears is currently at...
11. nipolian - February 12, 2008 1:39 PM
Only one DUI and he's 18........What a fucking lightweight.
12. Spazz - February 12, 2008 1:39 PM
What a classy, normal, grounded family this is.
13. brevity guy - February 12, 2008 1:41 PM
This poor family and their tragedies.
They are exactly like the Kennedys.
Exactly.
14. fergernauster - February 12, 2008 1:46 PM
Shit! (pun intended)... Tyra Banks shat her pants? When? Where? Why?
Enquiring, twisted minds NEED to know...
Where is the link?
15. veggiwhore - February 12, 2008 1:46 PM
How unfortunate. I mean his hair and choice of t-shirt..
16. Hanna - February 12, 2008 1:46 PM
Hopefully there will be a story today about Britney holding some type of beverage.
17. CNN - February 12, 2008 1:50 PM
Tyra didn't shit her pants. She was unaware that she was pregnant ("I'M NOT FAT! STOP CAUSING GIRLS TO DIE FROM EATING DISORDERS!") until a son dropped out during a fashion show. Being black, he resembled...well, you know...do I wipe it or do I raise it (as if), no'm sayin?
18. nerd - February 12, 2008 1:51 PM
My monitor gets a BAC of .16 on those pimples alone.
19. Ted from LA - February 12, 2008 1:52 PM
Barron? What kind of rich people name their kid Barron? Is his middle name Von? Why not just tattoo "Kick Me in the Nuts" to his forehead. 8:30 am? Shouldn't he be drunk in school?
20. FRIST!!! - February 12, 2008 1:53 PM
That's funny, fish said his "first" DUI. Kinda like introducing your spouse as your first husband..
21. Cap'n Pickles - February 12, 2008 1:54 PM
The poor kid just got drunk from eating out big sis's pickled twat. Why do you think thier Mom looks so wasted all the time.
22. Roger Clemens - February 12, 2008 1:54 PM
Man, somebody needs to step in and get that kid off the steroids.
23. Tapeworm - February 12, 2008 1:56 PM
Someone should kick this pussy in his cunt. Throw him in jail & let him get gang-raped. Then we'll talk about justice being blind to the rich.
24. Ted to LA - February 12, 2008 1:57 PM
When your insanely rich grandfather is named Barron it's not so bad, especially from the "favorite grandson" angle.
25. Gerald_Tarrant - February 12, 2008 1:57 PM
Unless I miss my guess, the legal drinking age in CA is 21. I'm not 100% on that but.....
So, good for Barron, way to live up to the spolied little rich idiot stereotype.
26. Sid - February 12, 2008 1:59 PM
Tapeworm - this is no time to take a break, get back to your important work at the U. N.
27. PTSD - February 12, 2008 1:59 PM
For this kids sake I hope herpes aren't hereditary.
28. Narcissist - February 12, 2008 2:00 PM
Confirmed once more: Hilton kids are vermin.
Funny write ups lately, but I'd like to know more about Tyra Banks PHAT turds.
29. Hey Old People! - February 12, 2008 2:00 PM
Lots of 18 year olds drink and drive, just like you did. I hope you're not planning to overspend on a mahogany casket because really, what's the point?
30. Grunion - February 12, 2008 2:01 PM
He wasn't drunk he was trying to get away from Brandy. Cause that bitch will straight up kill you.
31. Guy - February 12, 2008 2:03 PM
Nice hair...
32. causeyourhot.com - February 12, 2008 2:07 PM
causeyourhot.com
SAVE BRITNEY
33. Judy Garland - February 12, 2008 2:08 PM
Must be rough, underage drinking at 8 in the fucking morning. The parents should be dragged naked through the streets behind an ox cart full of shit so they fully understand what the rest of us are putting up with...
34. uglypeoplesafaris - February 12, 2008 2:13 PM
about time
35. Veroonica - February 12, 2008 2:18 PM
28. Tyra calls them her "Baby Phats".
33. Thanks for the fantasy. I'll be daydreaming about that scenario the rest of the workday!
36. whatever - February 12, 2008 2:28 PM
Solid parenting. The Hilton and Spears parents have done a fine job of raising children with so much to contribute to society. It's absolutely awe-inspiring!
37. D. Richards - February 12, 2008 2:43 PM
Sadly, do you know what this means, crowd? The Hilton name will not die with Paris and Nicky; no, the Hilton's have a son.
Let us pray for Barron's impotence, and, or, homosexuality.
38. HollyJ - February 12, 2008 2:46 PM
Nice acne
39. Nick - February 12, 2008 2:46 PM
I wonder how this is going to affect the opening weekend of his movie, Charlie Bartlett?
40. Cap'n Pickles - February 12, 2008 2:47 PM
37. I wouldn't worry. judging by that shirt, he's a pole smoker.
41. Auntie Kryst - February 12, 2008 3:04 PM
"first DUI" nice touch Fish.
@13 The Hilton fucks are NOTHING like the Kennedy's. Don't despoil their name in the same sentence as the Hilton's. Sure the Kennedy's are all booze hounds, and that's a great thing. They are not, however self-absord shitbags like the fucking Hiltons.
42. Britney Brimley - February 12, 2008 3:25 PM
I see the apple doesn't fall far from the skank.
43. Abbadon - February 12, 2008 4:19 PM
BARON VON DORKENSTEIN!!
Poor tool. looks like he still let mommy dress him in horrible retro-80s kids clothing. Poor bastard has no chance in life. Luckily, he has granddaddy name, and with that suckupness, maybe his coin. Lucky beotch.
44. Barron - February 12, 2008 4:45 PM
Geez, he has ruined my last name "Barron"... Frist, you are hilarious! Love the 20# comment!
45. Danny Friedman - February 12, 2008 5:08 PM
you little bitch! I just bought that t-shirt!!!
46. freejose - February 12, 2008 5:26 PM
FRESH FISH!!! His balloon knot is gonna be ripped open wider than the Lincoln Tunnel when the Sistas are done with him.
47. Reese Witherspoon - February 12, 2008 5:32 PM
He looks a lot like my ex-husband.
48. Anexio - February 12, 2008 8:30 PM
Oh god, I know I'm late to this story but I am flying, right now, out to LA and am going to commit a serious crime just I can get a chance to get thrown in jail. Once there I am going to totally bang Barron in the ass until he begs for more.
BTW, he looks nothing like he does in his movies, Talledega Nights and Borat.
What the eff is up with that?
49. Optomistic - February 12, 2008 10:44 PM
His first of many DUI's in the following years I have NO doubt
50. FRT - February 12, 2008 11:26 PM
Too fucking bad he didn't drive his Benz off of the Pacific Coast Hwy into the Ocean! One less fucked up Hilton to worry about...actually it would have been a double whammy if his fucked up sister was in the back seat at the same time. Two birds with one stone! Geez....must be nice tooling around in a 100k Benz at 18 fucking drunk out of your pea brain mind! And to think...one day he and Paris will be running the whole fucking Hilton Hotel chain...???
"If you need us...we'll be in the lounge 24/7!"
Remind me to NEVER STAY IN A HILTON HOTEL...!!!
51. apple - February 12, 2008 11:46 PM
Ted from LA: just look at the competition. He'll be favourite whatever his name is.
Give the kid a break. Just look at his family. I'd be drinking too.
52. Necromanson - February 13, 2008 1:21 AM
Um... SOMEBODY LOVES SUNGLASSES!
53. playfeull - February 13, 2008 4:23 AM
this guy is playful..I saw his profile on a celebrity and millionaire dating site called "Searching Millionaire Dot com".His profile is nice with several recent pics there. Many women winked at him. What relationship is he looking for?
54. Anonymous - February 13, 2008 9:47 AM
playfeull:
The relationship he is looking for is the one where he takes you outside and beats the living shit out of you for posting your idiotic shit all over the Internet, you pus-filled cavity of slime.
55. RichPort - February 13, 2008 9:50 AM
Rich kids always give the boys stupid names. My uncle hit the lottery and named his son Lucky MOtherfucker. Which was really fucked because the kid was 12 at the time.
56. El Chinko - February 16, 2008 2:40 PM
Doogie?
dont drop the soap
57. Nikki - February 23, 2008 6:59 PM
I HAVE THAT SHIRT IN PURPLE!!! DELIAS.COM BISHES!!
58. Nikki - February 23, 2008 6:59 PM
I HAVE THAT SHIRT IN PURPLE!!! DELIAS.COM BISHES!!
59. Nikki - February 23, 2008 6:59 PM
I HAVE THAT SHIRT IN PURPLE!!! DELIAS.COM BISHES!!
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