Jan 3 2008Kelly Brook likes to torture Billy Zane
Kelly Brook put on a new bikini and enjoyed some more of her St. Barts vacation with boyfriend Billy Zane yesterday. But apparently Kelly’s idea of a good time is cramming sand down Billy’s crotch, according to the Daily Mail:
Instead it was all good clean fun as Kelly took great delight shoving handfuls of wet sand inside Billy's loose-fitting swimming shorts while he looked on somewhat bemused.
If I were Billy Zane, I’d look on bemusingly as well, if that were a word. By all normal laws of science he should be cleaning shoes at the bowling alley. Instead he’s got a busty British actress girlfriend that, yeah, maybe puts sand on his nads. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Very itchy sacrifices that will totally chafe afterwards. I should know. I dated a sandcastle artist once. My taint still feels like the Sahara.
Photos: INFdaily.com
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Reader Comments
1. joeypants - January 3, 2008 5:02 PM
She's fat.
2. Sophie - January 3, 2008 5:05 PM
You're crazy
3. lola - January 3, 2008 5:06 PM
I think she looks good, but I hate the high-cut swimsuits she wears....very Spring Break '85...
4. otravez - January 3, 2008 5:06 PM
tiggolbitties
5. joeypants - January 3, 2008 5:07 PM
More pics of Christina Milian would have been better.
6. Greg - January 3, 2008 5:08 PM
All the 13 year old flat chested ballerina chicks need to go back to their anorexic forums. This is what a real woman looks like, I'd fuck this chick over Tara Reid's boney ass any day!
7. minniememe - January 3, 2008 5:09 PM
um, didn't we already see these two on the beach? he needs to shave his head or wear a cap. and lose a few pounds. and thank his lucky stars he has this as a girlfriend.
8. boy in pretty panties - January 3, 2008 5:09 PM
#3,
I love her bikinis, so pretty and feminine.
9. ipanema_girl - January 3, 2008 5:17 PM
did the Fishster gulp down the brit post? wtf?
on topic: pale bitch has no muscle tone whatsoever. not a good thing on anybody. gross.
10. morga - January 3, 2008 5:17 PM
she's not fat....look at her tummy
she just has really curvy hips
11. chenush - January 3, 2008 5:20 PM
I think she looks great. and im a girl. (hetrosexual)
12. william - January 3, 2008 5:25 PM
wow...
13. Bob - January 3, 2008 5:25 PM
In pic #5, she looks just like my Mother, yummy.
14. Doug - January 3, 2008 5:26 PM
She does look kinda wide
15. salopia - January 3, 2008 5:27 PM
Also a heterosexual female, i think she has a great body. This is normal, the skinny rakes we normally see in bikinis are freakishly skinny. Also her dad died a few weeks back so perhaps hitting the gym was put on the back burner over christmas.
16. Starchasm - January 3, 2008 5:32 PM
I think she looks great. Unfortunate taste in swimsuits, but nice body. (I do think Christina Millian is hotter, though).
Chubby bald Billy Zane should thank his lucky stars someone that cute is willing to stick her hand down his pants for any purpose whatsoever.
17. martha - January 3, 2008 5:32 PM
i love the curves. honestly, 'too fat' and 'too skinny' are extremes. anything in between is a-okay.
18. Tara Reid (Sensei & Master Slut) - January 3, 2008 5:35 PM
Fish, "By all normal laws of science he should be cleaning shoes at the bowling alley", that was brilliant and makes up for you posting this dumbass non-story. And to #15, thanks for the update about her father. Electra sure looks like she's in mourning.
19. Narcissist - January 3, 2008 5:43 PM
GEEZ. She needs an emergency bikini makeover, or just wear more clothes or something.
I was ignorant to Christina Millian until she was pictured here, but I pledge to follow the divine light of Christina Millian from now on. Until she gets fat.
20. FRIST!!! - January 3, 2008 5:45 PM
WTF happened to Billy Zane??? He used to be cute, but now he looks like Uncle Frank..
21. Fine James - January 3, 2008 5:49 PM
That bikini looks like a yankee diaper
22. Reggie Bush - January 3, 2008 5:51 PM
Shes fucking gorgeous.
23. Kitty - January 3, 2008 6:03 PM
huzzah! god damn. i'm not straight, i'm a total pussy chaser and that woman is fiiiiine.
24. Sophie - January 3, 2008 6:06 PM
Let's go have a drink with Uncle Frank and tell his girlfriend to go mourn with her family
25. Ted from LA - January 3, 2008 6:08 PM
#6,
That would be an odd-looking sexual encounter. Would you do anything else with Tara Reid other than use her as a bed while you play push-push with Kelly Brooke?
26. Ted from LA - January 3, 2008 6:11 PM
#23,
Here, Kity, Kity, Kity...
27. Conscience Found - January 3, 2008 6:12 PM
jiffy pop
28. Sophie - January 3, 2008 6:21 PM
Now this is a funny bikini pic........
http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20168983_11,00.html
29. lucy lou - January 3, 2008 6:31 PM
you are CRAZY.. She is far from FAT.
30. will - January 3, 2008 6:34 PM
I'm sorry, she has a cute face and an ok upper body, but her lower body is gross to me. It's not nec fat, just so badly shaped!
31. gotmilk? - January 3, 2008 6:45 PM
7, i'm confused, who needs to lose a few pounds? bitch needs to tone up. she has some serious blow up potential going on here.
kind of looks like anne hathaway in the face and that's not a good thing.
32. stephanie - January 3, 2008 7:00 PM
For people who think she looks too big below her waste, I am pretty sure you'd have a different opinion (at least a slightly better opinion) if she'd stop wearing those types of bikini bottoms. She looks great!
33. JustSaying - January 3, 2008 7:01 PM
#5 is right. We need more Christina Milian pictures. Kelly's ok but Christina is awesome.
34. yukadoozer - January 3, 2008 7:05 PM
those floucy, bow tied, hip wranglers make her look old. And Obnoxious. And cheesy. Like that homely girl in highschool who got a figure in college and showed up at the 10 year shaking everything.
35. henry - January 3, 2008 7:19 PM
now that is what a woman is supposed to look like! the full body pic of her looks so fucking good...perfect curvey hips and perfectly sized breasts...i want her to sit on my face for at least two hours.
36. Elk - January 3, 2008 7:42 PM
I’m trying to think of a good response to all the people calling her fat, but I can’t think of a good response to something so retarded.
37. Testing - January 3, 2008 7:45 PM
this is a test
38. Adam - January 3, 2008 8:07 PM
If you think she's fat, please kill yourself. The world would be better off with one less complete failure.
39. FRT - January 3, 2008 8:25 PM
Billy fucking Zane!! What crack den did he crawl out of! Holy shit...I didn't even know he was still on planet earth! For the first million dollar trivia question of 2008...can anyone remember what his last movie was...????
No I didn't think so!
40. billy - January 3, 2008 8:27 PM
If you are a man and you think this chick is fat, you are without a doubt homosexual. Not that their's anything wrong with that, but just admit it. Women are supposed to have curves. If you are into chicks like Nicole Ritchie or Keira Knightly you are gay, because they look like teenage boys. end of discussion.
41. me - January 3, 2008 8:34 PM
She hit the wall.. whoever she is.
42. Italian Stallion - January 3, 2008 8:35 PM
I would motorboat the fuck out of this ho............
43. FRIST!!! - January 3, 2008 8:54 PM
#39, he has 6 movies coming out this year!!!!!!! Pretty fuckin good crack den, I'd say!
I just keep wondering WHY???
44. FRT - January 3, 2008 8:56 PM
Hey First...would those be porn movies...or "B" movies...?
Actually...Kelly has what is called "baby-maker hips"...that bitch could spit out 8 kids and not even blink an eye-lid!
Ohhhhhhhh...yaaaaaaaaaaa!
Not that I want to give Billy any ideas now.
45. FRIST!!! - January 3, 2008 8:57 PM
I cheated, cuz I googled it..
46. FRIST!!! - January 3, 2008 9:19 PM
PORN??? God I hope so...there's just never enough porn in the world..
47. FRIST!!! - January 3, 2008 9:30 PM
Also FART, frist of all, my name is FRIST!!! , not first. I've never been first at anything except maybe first to pass out at a party..
48. gerard Vandenberg - January 3, 2008 10:21 PM
be honest..................................................................................................WHO NOT?
49. Sandy - January 3, 2008 10:49 PM
You know what Billy might think is more fun? Kelly doing some fucking situps.
50. jason - January 3, 2008 11:10 PM
i don't think she is beautiful, but many friends from sugarmommymeet.com said she is good. for god sake i don't know the reason, but i think they are reasonable for i know they are picky. you know it is a site where rich women can seek young cute men and men can find extramarital affairs....and they are beautiful and charming....
51. GEEEEZ! - January 3, 2008 11:12 PM
Nice work Billy. Now bury her up to her head in sand and take her doggy style.
52. kitty_kat - January 3, 2008 11:15 PM
Like I said before: that bikini is seriously unflattering.
And while she's definitely not fat, she is far from having a perfect figure. She's a bit doughy. She needs to tone.
53. buny - January 3, 2008 11:47 PM
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54. Trulyjulie - January 4, 2008 12:47 AM
Oh gosh. Fat? Are you kidding me? compared to who... an Ethiopian? Not crazy about the bikini either.
55. Tiffany - January 4, 2008 1:24 AM
A woman with a real (read: curvy/not a twig) body? God forbid! She looks good. (I do have to agree that that bikini isn't very flattering on her.) Billy, on the other hand, looks like he could use some work.
56. steph - January 4, 2008 3:34 AM
idiots
only one person called her fat.
and they aren't HORRIBLY wrong
i mean
look at her stomach and thighs.
she could lose a few and look better.
fat is the wrong word.
healthy
is a good word
57. niloc - January 4, 2008 3:54 AM
I just came.
58. May - January 4, 2008 5:35 AM
How romatic they are !she is so beautiful.. but someone said she joined an online service sugarmommymeet. it is a site for rich men to date sexy women.. spoil and support them. what a fucking slur..
59. RichPort - January 4, 2008 7:46 AM
I would ride her like a Harley on a bumpy mountain trail.
60. Narcissist - January 4, 2008 7:58 AM
Her legs are saggin' all outta whack. Get me some more Christina Milian pics up in here! Gwen Stefani pics, somebody, anybody!
@28. - Not that pic!
61. Tracy - January 4, 2008 8:23 AM
I'm taking this site off my favorites. Britney held her kids hostage for nearly four hours last night and was then taken to the hospital (Jayden may have also been rushed there, as well) and all we get is some unknown with tits and a washed up baldie on The Superficial.
62. this site sucks - January 4, 2008 8:33 AM
61 - i agree
63. Thomas - January 4, 2008 8:38 AM
This article interested me, then it made me very interested, then I was very, very, very interested...
But now I want to hear about Britney Spears and have a cuddle...
64. Jus' Stupid - January 4, 2008 8:49 AM
@28 That pic makes her look like she has a little willy between her legs. Def funny.
65. this site sucks - January 4, 2008 9:00 AM
and she has an old lady body.
66. 1MILF Hunter - January 4, 2008 9:41 AM
She better hope he gets all the sand washed off his wiener before he starts tapping that. Especailly if it's anal.
67. Femme Dating Ally - January 4, 2008 9:45 AM
She's really cute and sexy! Pretty beautiful!
68. yappy - January 4, 2008 9:51 AM
torture? how by letting him f uc k the sh it out of her?
69. stickykeys - January 4, 2008 9:56 AM
She's a perfect 10 in my book.
I realize this site is called "The Superificial", but you guys are too much. The dude is bald. So what? And he looks like he's in excellent shape to me, especially for 40+. Obviously, he can make a girl laugh. And he has money I assume. I'd say he is a catch. I always thought he was a homo w/ his plucked eyebrows - but i guess he must have a massive unibrow or something.
70. Auntie Kryst - January 4, 2008 10:04 AM
Damn Fish, wake up. What's up with this Brit Brit meltdown?
71. D. Richards - January 4, 2008 10:30 AM
I'd forgo the bullshit and have Kelly shove the sand directly in to my ass.
72. Guy - January 4, 2008 10:32 AM
Omg, this is going to be big news about Britney.
Can you all not wish death and such upon her? Its clear shes frikkin insane and she needs help, no need to be so fucking nasty about it.
73. wenny - January 4, 2008 10:42 AM
She is sexy. But her photo at a bisexual chatting club bimingle.com looks much hotter, especially the one in the red bikinni.
74. hausfrau - January 4, 2008 12:15 PM
Good strong childbearing hips.
75. caca smells - January 4, 2008 12:29 PM
she looks good, like a normal and healthy woman. If she wore a different bikini, it would prob. be more flattering.
76. gus - January 4, 2008 12:30 PM
That's the perfect female body right there. Beautiful skin, too. Billy needs to buzz his remaining hair.
77. EuroNeckPain - January 4, 2008 1:52 PM
#69 "he looks like he's in excellent shape to me, especially for 40+."
I know a lot of 40+ guys who are hot, although they cannot afford a personal trainer.
This thick bald man is ugly and looks like he is taking his daughter to the beach
78. theShizaan - January 4, 2008 2:56 PM
boys and girls, THAT is what a real woman looks like.
Kudos to you Billy, you lucky f*cker
79. he looks better than her, and i am serious - January 4, 2008 3:12 PM
pasty skin and hips as big as a house.
he is gorgeous on the otherhand.
check his pics on imdb.
80. GoKickRocks - January 4, 2008 3:16 PM
That's what a real "lazy" woman looks like. ZING!
81. Abel - January 4, 2008 3:46 PM
i would love to shove my nose right up her ass and take a good, long whiff.
82. Raquel - January 5, 2008 3:02 AM
Ok, this is the only sexy woman I have ever seen on this site. Seriously, this girl is a BABE.
Fat? Wtf? She is perfectly proportioned. You gals are dumbasses.
83. nails - January 5, 2008 11:05 PM
i wouldnt say shes fat.. she looks pretty damm good in my opinion... shit rosie O'donnell is fucking fat this chicks fine
84. Jessica - January 6, 2008 10:46 AM
There's some serious jealous bitches posting! She's not fat - just because you don't have bazoombas like that!
85. tan - January 8, 2008 5:52 PM
bemused is a word you moron
86. Palo Duro - January 26, 2008 8:33 PM
So what she's fat! I like her tits!
87. pit - February 3, 2008 11:38 AM
She ned a long time in a Gym, she's not fat, but she's very flacid
88. just a fan - April 26, 2008 9:08 AM
are you high or something? billy is the hotest 40+ movie star ever.he's gorgeous.
89. just a fan - April 26, 2008 9:09 AM
are you high or something? billy is the hotest 40+ movie star ever.he's gorgeous.