Dec 28 2007Jessica Alba and Cash Warren get engaged

FRIST!

Chotgun wedding, mang.

Good bye career. Hello big azz. Oh yeah first!

i'm shocked, really. everyone knows these days that you get knocked up, then engaged. it's the only recipe for a successful hollywood marriage.

i like how they say they've been together since 2004 to make it seem more legit. more like they've been on & off since 2004.

#3 - Hurts so bad, don't it?

Haha. Wayne's World reference.. sweet. :)

I wonder who's 'Cashing in' on this????

Party time! Excellent!

Why is Cash's nose so wide?

WTF is up with that black dude standing behind them. Look at that huge motherf'n head!

ALL YOU GOSSIP MONGERING TROLLS ARE JUST WAITING FOR THE MARRIAGE SO YOU CAN CELEBRATE THE SPLIT UP AND THE UNAVOIDABLE BATTLE OVER CUSTODY. WAY TO ROOT FOR SOMEONE'S MISERY. GOSSIP IS EVIL AND YOU WILL BATHE IN A LAKE OF FIRE.

#11 - Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Oh, and you're probably right...

#10 - Isn't that Keenan from SNL?

#9 - Because air is free.

sorry-but I prefer busty blondes.

@11 You got a really great ministry going here Conscience, way to spread the loving good word. PS, Those that doth typeth all in capital letters are guilty of the sin of pride. Thou art doomed! Doomed I say!

Can someone call me if and when they ever find her ass.

I bet there are fist fights in their house to use the mirror.

Who fucking cares about Jessica Alba? She's a dim bulb.

#11? A lake-of fire? Do they have slides and rope swings a said lake-of fire? That would be so fucking fun, don't ya' think?

And, #11, you have found your niche in the very competitive world of 'saving' souls; The Superficial. Pack your bags, you did it! You just filled your quota. I'm saved!

You can now ascend to magic world. Heavens filled with ass-kissing nutsacs though, so you may have to climb your way up the janitorial work ladder. But you'll make it. You've got the fire. You've got the tough, #11.

She really isn't tall enough to be as perfect as everyone thinks she is.

Pic 1 - Alba - "I love that everyone can look past my looks, and see that I'm one of the decades greatest actresses". Cash - "I know what you mean. My success is directly attributed to my cunning business sense, and not just about who I knock up!"

Pic 2 - Alba - "I yearn for a normal life. One in which we could walk hand in hand with our bastard love child, and not worry about the ills of fame. Lets ponder what life would be like, without Hollywood, and the paparazzi"

Pic 3 - Both - "Holy Christ, that would suck!"

Pic 4 - Cash - "God damn life is great. Just think, in 7 months US weekly will be paying us 1 million for exclusive photo's. In 8 months I'll be banging some new, fresh, Hollywood wannabe. In 9 months you'll will be yesterday's news. Hey at least I had you in your prime."

#17 - I disagree.. I've swam through a few lakes of fire in my day and other than a few singed hairs, it's kinda boring. Besides, I kept bumping into Mischa Barton and Paris Hilton, which gets old fast.

How in god's name is it a bastard child? They chose to have a child out of wedlock, there's NOTHING wrong with that. Stupid evangelicals.

#13 - Doesn't just about everyone prefer blondes? Especially natural ones. Alba as a blonde looked pretty weird - sort of like a Mexican albino, or should I say Albaino.

He's cuter than her.
Gosh, she's so average. Can't understand what people see in her or why some people find her attractive.

Congrats, Jessica! the guy didn't want to marry you, you broke up for 2 weeks because he refused to, you got herpes, you went back to him begging to him to take you back, a month later or so you got intentionally knocked up and now you finally managed to get the guy to marry you.

This guy should have his lawyers ready. Get custody, get paid.
Cash Warren is average dude no more.

Jessica is a cute babe...She was said to have a personal account on a millionaire&celebs online service "meetrich.com" with her hot pictures and blogs there. Quite a few fans and hot guys are found in her circle there.

Every time I see a current photo of Jessica , she looks like should be in a Proactiv commercial. She's always trying to hide her face full of zits with that stupid cap. I guess she got her wish and now people can "get past her hotness." Misha Barton looks better in her mug shot.

Did Edna Bambrick figure out how to log on as a different username????

How the hell are all these anorexic bitches getting pregnant anyways?! I thought the flow stopped once you stopped eating. Oh, maybe she binges and purges instead...Well, either way, she's probably gonna be purging now...

Hey Fish,
If you're gonna spew..... Spew into this.

Nice reference!

yawn, Jessica Alba is as boring as she is untalented

i hope her kids come out dark. that's the thing about mating with blacks. even if they are light skinned or mixed, there is a potential for the kids to come out darker. that would send jessica in a tailspin.

Alba can pick anyone in the world and she chooses this unibrow neanderthal? hahaha

i'm glad that rich, beautiful celebrity women have to resort to the same low brow tactics to secure a marriage that ordinary women do. they really are just like the rest of us.

#32 - "Mating" with blacks? You're a regular fucking Crocodile Dundee, aren't you?

First, who names their kid "Cash?"

Second, who the hell IS Cash Warren, and who do I have to hire to kill him?

@ 29: shut the fuck up. just because the average woman in america is fat, does not mean that someone at thier ideal weight is "anorexic." she looks very healthy to me. as cliche as it is to say....you are just jealous.

#36 who names their kid Cash? a black pimp

Jessica Alba always reminded me of Phoebe Cates - cuteness masquerading as sexiness. They both look Filipino, they both lack any discernible talent, and now that Alba is pregnant, hopefully she'll retire and quit embarrassing herself with her "acting" just like Cates did.

Her last movie tanked. Gotta get knocked up to keep your name in the news these days. Or get a DUI. Or both.

Wasn't Cash cheating on her with some Russian model around the time Jessica got pregnant? Or were they "on a break"?

that's good especially for their baby

39 - Nice. I know what you mean. Phoebe couldn't even pull off "Drop Dead Fred." I now know why Jessica Albass always reminded me of someone I couldn't place.

The funny thing is that she doesn’t even look pregnant. Why would she make it public when it’s not even showing yet. You would think she would wait a bit longer to announce it since she hates all the attention.

She looks so miserable. That's a shame because no one goes to her movies, no one has anything nice to say about her and all she can do get pregnant like everyone else to get attention. You know, if she wasn't an actress, she'd be another unwed, pregnant Latina.

11:14am
He's cuter than her.
Gosh, she's so average. Can't understand what people see in her or why some people find her attractive.

+++++++ It's the media that tells the public who is sexy, hot and all that. That's all. They make up those stupid "sexiest" lists and put Alba at the top of them when she's got some promoting to do and also to remind people of who in the f*ck she is.

http://www.hollywoodplastic.com/

#33

Well, actually, she couldn't pick Cash: she wanted him to commit and he nixed it. That's why she ended the relationship but two weeks later begged him to take her back. And of course later she did the most creative and original thing: trapped him by getting pregnant.

They look alike - to much of a similiar gene pool there. The kid will come out mongaloid.

#47 "Trapped him by getting pregnant?"
Are you kidding me?!?
Based on the facts of sexual reproduction, I believe it takes two people having unprotected sex in order to conceive.

Holy crap, look at picture #3. She looks like she has Down Syndrome. wtf.

#49

Sweetie, it does take two people having unprotected sex in order to conceive. And, usually you only need one of them taking preventive steps to avoid conception. Therefore, sweetie, many women can simply tell their men that she's the one taking the contraceptives and the man should no longer need a condom. And lots of men trust that their girlfriend will not trick them, so they don't usually use a condom if they believe that the girlfriend in their hopefully monogamous relationship is taking some prevention already.

Therefore, sweetie, it is a very easy trick for women to simply not tell their boyfriend that they have stopped taking their contraceptives and "unexpectedly" get pregnant.

Of course Cash could have been paranoid that Jessica might stop taking her contraceptives and not telling him. But just like many other normal men who get stuck in this situation, they don't think this way because they don't know that some women can be that desperate.

Congrats to both of them! Jess would sure be a cute wife and momma and they seem like a stable, loving couple.

Damn straight #51.

Sex with a condom is no fun, that's why this happens. I shudder to think back at how lucky I was that my two long-term girlfriends didn't trick me. One was too career-oriented, and the other was too vain to have a baby. That's why I trusted them, not because I had their word or promise to take birth control.

I actually have a Latina step-aunt whose daughter pulled this exact same stunt with a guy she just met, who was training to be a doctor. She thought he would make a good salary so she "forgot" to take her pill. Literally, the first time they fucked, she got knocked up.

He felt trapped ( because he was ) so he started partying, flirting with other girls, staying out all night. My stepcousin ( the daughter ) then dumped him, and now she's stuck with the baby. What is this supposed to accomplish?

wow,how nice to see them staying togerther.
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Jessica Alba looks like Jolin Tsai from Taiwan.

All kidding aside, that guy looks like a fucking Neanderthal. Reverse evolution, court-side.

Cro-Magnon Man make baby in you, woman!

Look folks, its the latino slut!
She should have gone into porn since thats all she seems born to do. Real acting should be handled by professionals.

Congratulations!!!!!! It's a good news !!!!!!!Good wishes for them !!!!!!!!!
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Jessica is so cute!! And happy new year for all!!

See, now here you see the difference with most chicks here is that they approve of the knocked up trap.

Thats because thats how they get their husbands....gettin' knocked up.

Except lesbian dating ally, who is just a Ho'

See, now here you see the difference with most chicks here is that they approve of the knocked up trap.

Thats because thats how they get their husbands....gettin' knocked up.

Except lesbian dating ally, who is just a Ho'

If she has herpes and she's pregnant, that means she had unprotected sex with her boyfriend, so he has herpes too. Wow, her pussy must look good all disgustingly rashed and warted out *vomit*. Search for pictures of herpes on Google, if you have the stomach for it *vomit*. Does that mean the baby will come out all herpe'd out too?

Superfish makes silly jokes about Paris and Britney having herpes and STD's (which they don't), but in reality, it seems like the STD'ed one and the one with herpes in Jessica Alba. Yuck.

If she has herpes and she's pregnant, that means she had unprotected sex with her boyfriend, so he has herpes too. Wow, her pussy must look good all disgustingly rashed and warted out *vomit*. Search for pictures of herpes on Google, if you have the stomach for it *vomit*. Does that mean the baby will come out all herpe'd out too?

Superfish makes silly jokes about Paris and Britney having herpes and STD's (which they don't), but in reality, it seems like the STD'ed one and the one with herpes is Jessica Alba. Yuck.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_herpes

Herpes has no cure, it's permanent. So her pussy is disgusting forever. Yuck.

#29... Clean the pizza crust out of your keyboard and walk around the block. Carry a Life Alert with you in case you go into cardiac arrest.

wow #11 you need to take a pill. oh and if you don't like to read this stuff perhaps you should take your ass to another site.
Oh and Cash is an ass so it won't be long before they are broken up again. Then back together and so on and so on.....It just keeps going and going!

A lake of fire? But wouldn't the lake be made of water? And isn't water non-flammable? Or is this flammable water we're talking about here? I'm confused.

And uh 2 middle fingers go out to Jessica Alba...way to take a guy who didn't want to marry you and trap him with the ol' "whoopsie forgot to take the birth control" manuever. Skanktastic!!!

I really like Jessica's simple beauty. Can't seem to get fed up looking at her. wow!