Nov 16 2007Lindsay Lohan serves 84 minutes in jail
Lindsay Lohan decided to beat Nicole Richie’s time of 82 minutes and spent 84 minutes behind bars yesterday. Lindsay was convicted in August for DUI and cocaine-possession stemming from an arrest in July. She checked herself into Cirque Lodge rehab facility and was ordered to serve one day in jail before January, according to Reuters:
Lohan was also sentenced to 10 days of community service, three years probation and 18 months of an alcohol-education program.
Jail sentences for minor crimes are often cut short by Los Angeles sheriffs, who manage the county jails, because of overcrowding.
According to my sources, which may or may not be this coffee mug full of gin, Lindsay Lohan managed to form a prison gang during her short stay. Yes, the Fiery V’s ruled that jail with an iron first for a whopping 10 minutes. Then mutiny broke out after their intrepid leader, simply referred to as The Boobed One, had intercourse with everyone’s bitch, five guards and the guy in Cell C that can talk to ducks. It all happened so quickly that Lindsay had plenty of time to figure out what went wrong before she was released. Perhaps she should’ve offered her gang members better benefits or, I dunno, not had all that sex. I guess we'll never know for sure.
Reader Comments
1. Oprah (aka cowgirl) - November 16, 2007 9:33 AM
I'm on top again (of the ratings)!
2. Sris - November 16, 2007 9:35 AM
My god. She is BUTT UGLY.
3. DumbAss - November 16, 2007 9:38 AM
You are on top of my dick (again)
4. DumbAss - November 16, 2007 9:38 AM
You are on top of my dick (again)
5. LEANNE - November 16, 2007 9:38 AM
THAT'S HOT!!!!!
6. InstantAsshat-AddFame - November 16, 2007 9:38 AM
Gin? How about a Guinness? That's what I'm having.
Eighty-four minutes...not surprising. Sad, but not surprising.
7. Fiery V - November 16, 2007 9:38 AM
Who you callin' bitch Fish? You want some of this?
8. Jeezy - November 16, 2007 9:39 AM
What the fuck kind of justice do you people have in the US&A?!?! The war on drugs is a fucking joke. If any average citizen was found drinking and driving AND possession of cocaine, they would be in jail for far longer than 84 fucking minutes. You people need to do something soon... revolution anyone?
9. Cowgirl waking up to some folgers - November 16, 2007 9:43 AM
Cirque lodge or Cirque du solei?
10. Mike - November 16, 2007 9:44 AM
I'd lob a Multiple Miggs on her.
11. Mimi - November 16, 2007 9:46 AM
You are an idiot for writing that stuff.
12. Sizzurp - November 16, 2007 9:46 AM
I hate that rich bitch. I hope her fire crotch burst into flames and burns her from head to toe.
13. gerard Vandenberg - November 16, 2007 9:51 AM
JESUS CHRIST MAN!! Is it worth talking about 84 minutes? I REPEAT: 84 FUCKING MINUTES!! These are a few minutes longer than when you've a hard time inside the restroom with SHITTING or a damn FAGGOT with karl lagerfeld gloves takes you anal!!
This must be at least 84 monthes but after those FUN-years I doubt it if she learnt something.............................
14. doomhammer - November 16, 2007 9:52 AM
I wonder how much monkey she licked in that short stay...
15. my comment - November 16, 2007 9:52 AM
She looks like a crack-crazed wombat.
16. Cowgirl - November 16, 2007 9:55 AM
She is going to do a lot of community service I bet! Lots of "service"! Stand in line and take a number!
17. babyglyniss - November 16, 2007 9:59 AM
go to jail and fellate all the criminals there!
18. ada - November 16, 2007 10:07 AM
Lindsay is a cute babe...She was said to have a personal account on a millionaire&celebrity dating club MEETRICH.COM with her hot pictures and blogs there.
19. DB - November 16, 2007 10:07 AM
It's funny because shes a whore.
20. Classy*Heaux - November 16, 2007 10:07 AM
That'll learn her!
21. Ript1&0 - November 16, 2007 10:19 AM
I'm high class, I'm a whore (actually both)
Basically I'm a pro
You've made me an offer that I can't refuse
Cause either way I get screwed
Counterproposal I go home and jerk off
22. buttinsky - November 16, 2007 10:24 AM
Is that a herpes sore on her upper lip?
23. Getalifeya'll - November 16, 2007 10:33 AM
OMG 84 minutes!!! Great news!!!
24. i loathe lindsay lohan - November 16, 2007 10:34 AM
she might have gonorrhea, clamydia, spyhilis...all sort of STDs!!!!!!!!
25. D. Richards - November 16, 2007 10:34 AM
Someone should have thrown the key away. Left Lohan in solitary for life. Sure, the feces would pile up and the smell would be horrible, but who cares?
26. FRIST!!! - November 16, 2007 10:37 AM
Well, at least she is on the straight and narrow now. Good job Lindsay!!!
God, my head hurts..what the HELL?!? Wait, what??? I did NOT write that..
27. BaconMessiah - November 16, 2007 10:41 AM
Hottest woman alive eh Maxim? What a fucking joke.
28. lux - November 16, 2007 10:44 AM
That is such fucking bullshit. I thought she was gonna do some real time for those stunts...I mean 2 DUI's, fleeing the scene of an accident, chasing someone in a high speed pursuit while under the influence, walking into a police station with dope in her pocket. Wow...those are some expensive, and good lawyers. Britney should look into hiring her team.
29. lux - November 16, 2007 10:47 AM
P.S. I hate her fucking eyebrows. Is it that hard to get them shaped? She looks like a fucking 12 year old...why are the all thick at the ends? She really ought to shave then off and draw them back on with a black eyeliner pencil....that would really set off her trashy look she has going.
30. kirsten dunst - November 16, 2007 10:48 AM
i'm so very surprised to hear this, almost as surprised as i am sarcastic.
31. Jimbo - November 16, 2007 10:53 AM
WHy did she have to serve so much time?
32. FRIST!!! - November 16, 2007 10:56 AM
Oh, you know Jimbo, had to really teach her a lesson and also send a message to the kids that "drugs are bad"..
33. Jimbo - November 16, 2007 11:03 AM
FRIST, I sure I don't get into trouble and have to serve that much time. I wouild go crazy being locked up that long.
How is your head? Maybe you need a drink? It is never to early to start drinking on Friday..
34. Maybe - November 16, 2007 11:14 AM
She is SO...FUCKING...UGLY!!!!
35. FRIST!!! - November 16, 2007 11:15 AM
Jimbo may have a point.
A thermos of bloody mary for my commute is not sounding like a bad idea right now..
36. caljenna66 - November 16, 2007 11:18 AM
What's happening to the Superficial? Those meetrich people are incredibly annoying and that maxim girl looks like she smells. Oh, and LL, nice try on the mugshot, but you look terrible, wear foundation much?
37. Jimbo - November 16, 2007 11:35 AM
FRIST, They have those adult sippy cup so you don't spil on your drive to work.
38. WTF? - November 16, 2007 11:40 AM
any other person would've had to STAYED in jail. WTF?
39. cute slut - November 16, 2007 11:48 AM
NOT FAIR!!! u guys seriously thing she's ugly? she's at least a cute slut:)
40. Jimbo - November 16, 2007 11:49 AM
@38 WTF you mean people like Nicole Richie?
41. Jimbo - November 16, 2007 11:54 AM
I will go with a cute slut. I don't think she is ugly
42. Shallow Val - November 16, 2007 12:12 PM
Booooo-RINGGGGGG! Gimme some Corn-toothed-troll Kirsten Dunst dirt.
43. FRIST!!! - November 16, 2007 12:17 PM
Adult sippy cup,eh? But it would be drunk of me to come to work with no spills on my shirt..
44. shankyouverymuch - November 16, 2007 12:34 PM
I'd love nothing more then to spend a whole week with this gorgeous woman, sharing laugh, ideas & intimate thoughts. Going wonderful places & seeing beautiful things, & of course taking a LOT of time just making sweet, sweet love- soft & tender, as well as rough rugged-(think BUTTLOVE), but all in the bounds of sexy playfulness !!! GOOD TIMES MAN, REALLY GOOD TIMES :O) ... if ONLY.
45. raptor_egg - November 16, 2007 12:57 PM
She looks like Moe Syzlak!
46. Danklin24 - November 16, 2007 1:12 PM
The Fiery V's. Haha that was great.
47. Harry - November 16, 2007 1:37 PM
forget the face. she's got a bangin' bod.
48. Ript1&0 - November 16, 2007 1:53 PM
@44, Awwww!! That was really sweet! I bet she would totally do it too.
49. Pilatunes - November 16, 2007 3:04 PM
rich or poor, the law is applied equally. hahahahahahah, what a fuckin' joke. Just wait until she kills someone.
50. Auntie Kryst - November 16, 2007 4:08 PM
Damnit, not nearly long enough of a stay. I was hoping for a good ol' shanking, either to her or by her. Also Fish, please get rid of those meetrich fucktards, thank you.
51. Matthew - November 16, 2007 4:36 PM
where is her partying mom when she was in jail?
52. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
53. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
54. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
55. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
56. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
57. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
58. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
59. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
60. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
61. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
62. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
63. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
64. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
65. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
66. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
67. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
68. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
69. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
70. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
71. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
72. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
73. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
74. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
75. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
76. Truthspeaks - November 16, 2007 6:42 PM
WOW! UGLYNESSSS! can't she spend her money fiixing herself???
77. me - November 16, 2007 6:43 PM
#29 retard they are shaped. Just in a shape you don't like, apparently.
I feel like going for a joyride.
I'm gonna buy a plane ticket and go do it in Beverly Hills or some place like that though. Because i'll get away with it due to the "crowded jails"
Thats like someone saying they don't have time to feed their kids or something. There's going to be trouble. And they wonder why crime in a problem in America...
78. moka - November 16, 2007 7:52 PM
ewww she ain't wrth those many posts.
did she also did something to her lips? (her face lips)
79. Missystar - November 16, 2007 9:32 PM
At least it finally got its lips done. They were too thin before
80. lg - November 16, 2007 11:37 PM
In her mug shots, she always looks like she's bribing the photographer with a BJ if he'll just let her walk away.
But you can also almost read her mind: "Is my eyeliner perfect?" "Do I have the right almost pout?"
81. Walizalawongaai - November 17, 2007 12:12 AM
She's not ugly - come on - but there is something about her mug that produces and overwhelming urge to backhand her as hard as I can.
82. selina - November 17, 2007 3:21 AM
what a pity, i can not see her clothes, because her clothing style is always very good, i see her photos on a celebrities site called sugarcupid.com, they are very beautiful and fashion.
83. karrah - November 17, 2007 5:06 AM
SHE LOOKS UGLY IN NORMAL LIFE...
84. IKE - November 17, 2007 6:20 AM
IS THIS JUSTICE? IS THIS HOW OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM WORKS?
Total joke.
85. herbiefrog - November 17, 2007 5:22 PM
thanks guys..
...we'll be fine thanks
...looking great babe
aliana... did you see that? straight into the camera?
that's the way to make contact
what?
86. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 19, 2007 4:03 AM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
87. 86. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 19, 2007 4:07 AM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
88. 86. ewwww shut the fuck up stupid bitch! - November 19, 2007 4:07 AM
lindsay lohan is ugly as a piece of dog shit
89. chuck24 - November 19, 2007 4:28 AM
Lindasay is sexiest lady by the celeb and millionaire singles club millionairecupid.com. Her ablums is the hottest ablum I've ever seen. I also saw her personal blogs posted on that website. It's quite active.
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91. Timneenan@gmail.com - January 17, 2008 11:18 PM
My God those panties must be fantastic.