Britney Spears is not pregnant, there is a God
A cover story for In Touch magazine claims that Britney Spears is pregnant. The magazine claims producer J.R. Rotem is the father and texted In Touch to confirm the news. Britney's pal Sam Lufti, who is attached to her at the hip, is saying these rumors are false, and today he sent the following text to Ryan Seacrest who read it on the air:
"It's BS. Don't know who made it up. J.R. doesn't even know what's up. It's fake. Completely fake. We just wrapped her video. Going home to sleep."
Consider this post a public service announcement. I wanted to make sure everyone knew the pregnancy rumors are totally false. God forbid, one of you thought it was true and decided to drink a cartridge of ink toner at work. That would be terrible. Unless you were drinking it because it’s delicious and you see right through the poison control center and all its lies. I know one time I had a glass of toner at work. I think it was when Jayden was born. Not only did I get to go home early, I spent all afternoon talking to my cat. That dude knows stuff.
Reader Comments
1. IFuckingHateYou - November 28, 2007 3:34 PM
Thanks Santa, that's all I wanted for Christmas was for this bitch to be knocked up again.
You fat fuck, you never bring me what I want!
2. Jules - November 28, 2007 3:35 PM
Someone needs to push her down a flight of stairs.
Soon.
3. veggi - November 28, 2007 3:35 PM
oh, Ryan Seacrest is the dad? wait, do I need to read the story? NO! I need a bottle of wine and The Office re-runs..
4. fweem - November 28, 2007 3:35 PM
praise jeebus
5. adriana - November 28, 2007 3:35 PM
Oh I hope those pregancy rumors ARE true... Britney's life serves as a reminder of how great my life is and how intelligent I am compared to her
6. princess.sweathog. - November 28, 2007 3:36 PM
thank the lord!
7. tp - November 28, 2007 3:39 PM
she looks like she's pushing out a big turd
8. caljenna66 - November 28, 2007 3:42 PM
I tried to drink my toner, but it was powdered ink. And now I look like Fred Flintstone.
9. veggi - November 28, 2007 3:42 PM
Ya'll main I stood on mey heyd fer nothin? dadgum!..
FRIST!! Have you been getting drunk all day??? I'm about to join ya!
See ya fuckers..
10. Big - November 28, 2007 3:43 PM
Just die
stop at starbucks on the way to hell
11. nipolian - November 28, 2007 3:45 PM
While I have to give her some credit for finally having a driver drive her somewhere.......I see the hillbilly bitch is still too stupid to figure out how a seatbelt works.
12. gotmilk? - November 28, 2007 3:45 PM
first off, i never even heard the rumors. secondly, how would this Sam fellow know? does he live in Britney's uterus?
And he says "we just wrapped her video" how does he come off using "we" because i'm pretty sure he's not involved whatsoever.
13. Shallow Val - November 28, 2007 3:52 PM
Wake me up when the Fish says "Britney Spears Killed in Horrific Auto-Mobile-Home Crash."
BTW, anyone who spells their name BRITNEY should be shot out of a cannon into the sun.
14. Burgernoodle - November 28, 2007 3:58 PM
Of course Ryan Seacrest is reading texts sent from fake Britney friends about how she is not pregnant ON THE FUCKING AIR. Of course he is. What in the fat else does he have to talk about? Absolutely retarded.
I'll think I'll join FRIST and veggi. Cracking my first beer...
15. i'm crazzzy! wooheeehooo!! /%")!Ö% - November 28, 2007 4:00 PM
nyargopleth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
16. TheLostGirl - November 28, 2007 4:12 PM
Not pregnant, still a crackhead!
17. TheLostGirl - November 28, 2007 4:13 PM
Not pregnant, still a crackhead!
18. Jimbo - November 28, 2007 4:16 PM
There is a god
19. Tim - November 28, 2007 4:20 PM
You can't drink toner, it's powder.
20. Britney Creampie - November 28, 2007 4:21 PM
Of course if someone else texts it it must be true.
100 bucks says she's knocked up
21. castanza - November 28, 2007 4:29 PM
Boy these pics are getting a lot of mileage. Speaking of this one in particular, is that face "oh shit they're going to see this glass of vodka and cool-aid!!!!" ?
22. Burgernoodle - November 28, 2007 4:29 PM
HAHAHAHHA!!!
toner is powder!! it most certainly is! but when you mix it with lighter fluid it makes a most delicious little cocktail...
23. gotmilk? - November 28, 2007 4:35 PM
of course she's not pregnant, anymore. the CDC made her abort the damn thing. we should all send them thank you notes.
24. Anexio - November 28, 2007 4:43 PM
I have to be honest and say that I for one am totaly dispointed that brit is not pregnat because it would mkae her soooo happy. and if she was then kFed could not take away her baby by lieing which is what he does all of th etime.
This week has acually been pretty good with good news comeing out ot brits camp starting wiht the news that she will have xmas with the boys but as we get twards the end of the week like rigt now we have this bad news.
The pap writters will say anthing just to make more o f the dollers that they want so much of. I hat them an d want them to leave brit alone. She has her ablum to sing on for us to enjoy and they do nothing but make fun of her and her stuff.
25. sarah - November 28, 2007 4:45 PM
is the reason there havent been any new pics of brit in ages because the pap is too scared to get within foot-running-over distance of her?
26. UDbudgie - November 28, 2007 4:47 PM
yes there is no such thing as "ink toner" either. its either an ink cartridge for an ink-jet printer, or a toner cartridge for a laser-jet printer. jeez, these guys should fire their editor and let me take the job... cause this site is all about proper grammar, spelling, and hard facts.... right?
27. nipolian - November 28, 2007 4:51 PM
#24 - WTF?!?
28. Burgernoodle - November 28, 2007 4:55 PM
yes, #24, what in god's good earth are you talking about?!?! check your vitals.
29. Matthew - November 28, 2007 6:11 PM
she can't even take care of her first two and she knows she don't want them
30. pissy skank - November 28, 2007 6:16 PM
Shitney is a loser & so are her douchebag pals Sam Lufti, JR Scrotum & Ryan Seacrest.
31. Ted from LA - November 28, 2007 6:45 PM
I read about these new cars. The passenger seat has a button you push, the center of the seat folds under, you take a shit, flush, and push the button to close the seat again. This is the first time I've seen someone use one though. It looks like it works well.
32. Ript1&0 - November 28, 2007 7:41 PM
I talk to my cats too. They only say one thing... but all the rest is in the eyes...
33. maggie - November 28, 2007 8:07 PM
She is different form others. She like being nude outside. I saw her nude photos and profile on nudistconnect.com just now. Maybe he is dating with a nudist guy. wow
34. Ted from LA - November 28, 2007 9:49 PM
# 33
I saw that too Maggie, but I saw it on Maggieisacunt.com.
35. whatevs - November 28, 2007 9:51 PM
sometimes i think she could still be cute as hell. if she took a shower i'd DEF hit it.
36. sharpeidude - November 28, 2007 11:21 PM
You mean there's actually sane men out there that would still stick their dicks in this diseased shit bag?
37. D. Richards - November 28, 2007 11:30 PM
You see that look? The look on Britney's face. That's the look of a woman that just ruptured one of her tract-sores on the inside of her inner labia. That's where she's been injecting. Right in to her pussy hole. I hope it falls off. I hope her cunt rots off and she loses it down the toilet.
38. cookie monsta - November 28, 2007 11:40 PM
and Mr Fish, how could she ever pinpoint a father, she is in a constant drug fucked haze, bonking in sex rooms and hotels everywhere. Now if it turns out she IS duffed, can I put 20 bucks on Anexio being the proud new daddy ??
(oooohhhhhh my, maybe Anexio is KFED)?
39. linda - November 29, 2007 12:49 AM
you, cool!@
40. josselin - November 29, 2007 12:50 AM
what are you doing? I know you wander around the online site Sugarmommymeet.com,right? It's a club for those rich women to find hot guys. Does this mean you want to be a sugarmommy?
41. honkie - November 29, 2007 1:10 AM
that is the same face she made when i slipped a finger up her ass.
42. honkie - November 29, 2007 1:13 AM
#37
feelin' it
43. toni - November 29, 2007 1:29 AM
oh i thought josselin was a fem-bot#40 and britney is still an ass she didn't deserve to have those 2 boys i'm glad someone inerviened before she tok them to the pound accidently
44. diggers - November 29, 2007 3:29 AM
Cats are saner than a lot of people and smarter too Doh reality>KISS BlondeepFried Moments!*#$% http://www.spymac.com/details/?2312013
45. Holycrap - November 29, 2007 5:16 AM
@34 - thanks for the first laugh of the day.
46. gerard Vandenberg - November 29, 2007 7:54 AM
This childish (mature?) girl is as fruitful as hell. So it's no miracle that this girl gets pregnant again today or tomorrow. When an asshole puts his DICK in her, SHE'S PREGNANT>>>>>THAT EASY!!
But we all witnessed how she could handle her two kids. One kid extra will do the trick!! HANG LOOSE, BON VOYAGE and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
47. babyglyniss - November 29, 2007 8:09 AM
she's just a downright slut.
48. Sarah - November 29, 2007 8:49 AM
Toner is powder. You can't pour yourself a glass of it.
49. gotmilk? - November 29, 2007 9:30 AM
43 a.k.a. Toni (or maybe it's Tony since you seem to have a ridiculous lack of knowledge of the english language), what the FUCK are you talking about?
50. if she tried - November 29, 2007 10:18 AM
she could still be hot if she tried to be.
51. Jenn - November 29, 2007 6:16 PM
Crimeny Christmas, she might be pregnant. Sam might have texted Ryan Seacrest, but J.R. texted the shit out of InTouch's Blackberries:
http://defamer.com/hollywood/the-defense-rests/intouch-presents-blackberry-evidence-about-britney-spears-rumored-knocking+up-328110.php
52. IWONKY - November 30, 2007 5:14 AM
Anexio - did you drink all of the god damned VODKA???? AGAIN?????
53. Steph - December 1, 2007 4:42 PM
Since when does everyone know so much about the consistency of toner?
And care so much about telling someone about it?
54. Jessica - December 9, 2007 2:55 PM
I still really like her and her past work but lately i'm not so sure what I think. http://www.whatsupwithbritneyspears.blogspot.com Will she ever get out of this slump?
55. Noron - December 9, 2007 7:40 PM
Britney is my favorite singer! I really love her! Especially i like her first album!
56. Noron - December 9, 2007 7:41 PM
Britney is my favorite singer! I really love her! Especially i like her first album!
57. Megan - December 14, 2007 11:02 PM
Thank goodness, I started to feel really bad for her!
58. mary - December 19, 2007 2:40 AM
right family....wrong sister.
59. B Chambers - January 7, 2008 10:44 AM
Mom's parenting guide would be akin to OJ's writing a marriage counseling text. Will the Spears please just go awy.
60. B Chambers - January 7, 2008 10:44 AM
Mom's parenting guide would be akin to OJ's writing a marriage counseling text. Will the Spears please just go away.
61. marilou - February 10, 2008 3:59 PM
is britney spears preganat again.
62. marilou - February 10, 2008 4:00 PM
is britney spears preganat again.
63. marilou - February 10, 2008 4:00 PM
is britney spears preganat again.
64. marilou - February 10, 2008 4:01 PM
is it true the britney spears preganat again.
65. marilou - February 10, 2008 4:02 PM
send a message back to marilou.
66. marilou - February 10, 2008 4:04 PM
will my sister amber told me that britney spears is preganat again is it true.
67. cece - March 10, 2008 11:14 AM
Everyone needs to leave britney spears alone . My god people yall get a life...Then maybe yall will not feel the need to trash people you do not know ...