Oct 23 2007Tom Cruise totally wants David Beckham

first mahahhhaa

"I know what a competitor he is and I have great admiration for him as an athlete, as a father, and as a husband. The guy works so hard – I know personally how dedicated this guy is, and how committed. Most of all, I have personally seen - briefly, then my vision got a little messed up - his extraordinarily forceful ejaculations."

Unfortunately Becks is now more washed up in his soccer career than Petra Nemcova a couple of years ago.

According to Tom, Beckham is such a good husband that he "occasionally places his phallus in Victoria's genitalia."

What an asshole. He is only be nice to David so he will join the church of Scientology. That or he is gay on him.

TCLTC! TCLTC!

Nice quotes. Tom's clearly been waiting all season, masturbating patiently while watching soccer on a TV in his bomb shelter. Now it's game-on. "Hey Tom, that was a fun drive, but it's weird suddenly I feel really sleepy..." "Don't worry, David, you're just tired from a long season, relax and go to sleep [*zip*]"...

If Tom's hairline isn't receding (but I bet it is), that's by far the gayest haircut he's had yet! Check out the length in front vs. the sides! Maybe Texas Tranny knows the answer to this - when you wear a square-state fag haircut like that, what "activities" does it mean you're willing to do? I'm guessing rusty trombones at a minimum.

I'm actually embarrassed for your lameness with this one Super Fish.
I'll pretend I didn't see it so you can go ahead & delete - then run back to
the drawing board. don't force it, man. you just end up embarrassing yourself.

LOL the LA Galaxy bought a crippled player.

Good job guys, you're now out of a ton of money. Great career move for David, he made a crapload of money and now he doesn't have to work.

I think this interview was edited...

"We will go out and fly some airplanes or race some cars or maybe take in a musical. No wait I didn't mean that last one. Maybe we'll go to a basketball game and see if the local group throws more balls in the circle than the opposing club. If not that we'll probably go camping together. I'll need new hiking boots though, now I got an excuse to go shoe shopping!..."

So is he still wearing vests because he's still fat? I know at his wedding he porked (after signing Katie up with "Buff Brides" fitness training) and had to have a girdle sewn into his suit. Maybe he just liked the feel of the girdle. He looks like he "feels pretty."

"We will go out and fly some airplanes or race some cars or something like that - anything that involves stuff spurting around really fast."

that haircut is not very flattering. it looks like it belongs on a English boarding school brat. maybe he's in mid-life crisis mode.

are you saying tom cruise is gay....

At one point it was very uncomfortable. Tom was singing David's praises, then he and Katie talked about something briefly and he got flushed and angry and said "get away from me, you smelly innie breeder!"

Bloody hell, just get a short back and sides, he will look a ton better.

Tom Cruise has a pecil dick!

and Tommy breaks into song: "Take a message Maria, send it to my wife, I've got a new boyfriend, I want a new life".

think of the fun the boys will have while the girls pose and shop. Naked leapfrog. Naked tunnelball. Naked wheelbarrows. Naked quoits. Oh yeah, TC wants to convert this one, in all sorts of wicked ways.....

Is TC emo? WTF is up with that hair?

FREE KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TCLTC

&21

No, emo's have better hair styles then that.

Those bangs help protect his eyeballs from the force of high-speed ejaculate.

Come on folks. Get with the program.

TC frightens me in those photos. Hitler written all over him. Dude needs to mellow out. And Beckham needs to run like hell. Bend it or whatever. Just don;t bend it over, or Tom will show you his zeigheil.

Based solely on his hair, I'm predicting Tom Cruise is filming a Beatles bio-pic circa 1966. Tom will play the role of Yoko Ono.

Tom,

Two words: COLLAR STAYS.

Yeah, that's a pretty bad haircut. I think he's trying to look youthful. Or maybe he and Posh got their hair done together at the same salon. Either way, Tom, go back to the first Mission Impossible haircut. That one made you look like a hetero. This one makes you look like a 45-year-old man who wants to work at Abercrombie. Have some pride, man!

mmhm, cruise is taking the efron look.
next time we'll have pics on the site of becks ala "vanesa hudgens"
but with less pubic hair.
totally loved the comments so far. (thumbs up)
a lot more funny and shrewd than fish.

fish, youre just not the same

That's the Adolf-Haircut.

Now he's only missing the Adolf-Moustache.

#29 you are right!!!!

damn, i had no idea that TC loves efron. both have fairy cuts. both like guys. i see a new Hollywood couple on the down low!

#4 Victoria has genitalia? Who paid for it?

what's with the douchey haircut? He looks like a school marm.

Tom has the Risky Business haircut of 25 years ago. I guess he's trying to look younger. I mean he is like 45 or something.

I love short men in 3 piece suits that wear sunglasses at night and rip off poses from the boss yet still end up looking more like damien all the while convinced they are still a tiger beat heartthrob for all girls and even boys even though little childresn cry and dogs howl if their unfortunate enough to cross his path.

I don't know about you, but I NEVER thought this dude was hot, even was he was still considered straight. I like 'em dirtier that this.

PS = Tom, 1993 called. The kid from Terminator 2 wants his haircut back.

Does Tom have pink eye too?

Is it me or does he just keep gettin uglier???

And what's with the retarded haircut? (I know, I know, it's already been said, like I care...)

He's got a Clay Aiken haircut - definitely an "I'm gay" message.

Tom Cruise.......oh Fcuk man....This is what fame , money, Hollywood, and scientology does to you, its make you into a fuckin nutbar with a Hitler haircut...please somebody put him out of his misery......he is the epitome of sleazey superficiality!!

I loooove the modified Dorothy Hamill hairdo Tommy is sporting.
Very hetero.

Either Clay Aiken or George McFly.

Yeah, that's it. He looks like Crispin Glover. Another fucking weirdo.

Hair by emo-Trump.

Is Tom's hairdo a combover or an emo frienge?

Either way it looks retarded.

Creep factor is off the charts. YEEEEEECCCCHHHHHHH.
How the hell Katie Holmes can sleep with him is beyond my wildest imagination. No wonder she always looks so sad.

46--- Don't be silly, she doesn't sleep with him. He can't get it up around females. He goes into the bathroom with a dirty mag like playgirl, gets his rocks off into a turkey baster, and shoots it into Kat(i)e's vag. This is how Suri came into the world.

He wants David Beckham soooo bad! It's so bloody obvious. I don't know if Beckham swings that way. I think Zack Efron is more Tom's type; both are very girly with the same haircut. I can picture both of them skipping and prancing together, wearing matching hot pink suits.

Gay Tom wants to "bend it" in Beckham!

I saw tom's photos on http://www.richmingle.com/. What does he really want on earth?

Fay-eg!

He's a Faaaa-aaaag!

Faegele! Pato! and a pato loco at that.

What's with the stupid hair. He needs a tiny black moustache to complete the pic.

So, it's Tom Cruises shit on the end of Beckham's dick. In people magazine there was an article about this. Seems that Bekham was spotted washing his limp (used) genitals in a men's room sink at the Staple's Center in LA.

Cruise-O asks Victoria if he can play with Beckham. Hilarious.

i saw david beckham on sunday at the fire game.

he's sexy. i drooled.

i can't wait until the unauthorized biographies of mapother come out. of course, he'll sue anyone while he's alive and perhaps his estate will once he's gone so it'll be a while, but the truth will someday emerge about just how tweaked this deluded little controller is.

who really gives two shits about david beckham? i don't believe he registers in any way in the united states. were it not for his freakishly vain wife and his agency representation, no one would even know he lives in the u.s.

the union of/any word of these four is beyond meaningless.

well actually his haircut is for that hitler movie he's doing at the moment

why is tom getting uglier and uglier? very appropriate for the hitler movie, looks just like hitler. and now probably acts like hitler too.
he is creepy, and ugly. not ugly sexy, just plain ugly.

Why, how fun to see a story about the NBC Page from 30 Rock!

Tom is always so hamesome, i like his film. he has a account on a millionaire &celebrities site called sugarcupid.com, i saw it . his photos there are also very nice.

SPACE OPERA

XENU see's all. XENU see's Tommy's legs wrapped around David's waist. A few months later, And, through "Advanced Technology" XENU foresee's a new 'essence' on planet earth...it is to be named TODA in honor of TOm & DAvid. TODA will grow up to rule planet earth. TODA is not to be confused with TOTO, a dog of much theatrical success. TODA will become the newest member of the ARC and KRC triangles. Once this has occured, TODA will have crossed "The Bridge to Total Freedom," and will rule all the galaxies eternally.

He has ALWAYS been ugly but this haircut just proves it even more. He looks like a 1989 New kid on the Block who went prostie on Santa Monica Blvd. And when he smiles?? YUCK, looks retarded.