Sep 17 2007Britney Spears is on drugs

omg FIRST!

I AM TEH FRIST

I think they should stuff Britney now and let us make fun of her for eternity.

OMG 3's company!

@1 Thanks you stupid fucking troll.

The problem isn't that she takes drugs. It's that she gives drugs - clearly - to all the commenters who take them and then say "she's NOT FAT!" (*chomp crunch munch gurgle gulp burp fart*).

Hey cowgirl

britney and kfed used to have sex together

"nude alot",but did she have sex in a bathroom stall? Come on Britney, you are so un-trendy or whatever!

Howdy Jimbo!

Any more broken glass?

Nope, just wood.

Another misquote - she actually told him to pick up her ass, which was slapping against the backs of her knees while she walked.

Because, girls, she's F-A-T.

Shocking News... NOT!!

Poor Brit.

#13 High five!

Uh, she's not fat.

Hey [*zip*] cowgirl [*fapfapfap*]

Did you chop down that cactus with your machete?

So why is calling her fat a valid argument? Because of your warped sense of normal? Of skinny? Does she have to be annorexic to NOT be fat? It's really unsettling, honestly. You can pick on every other bit of her extremely messed up life, but not her weight. Because she doesn't have anything close to a weight problem.

Go figure. Britney on drugs. Anyone who didn't know that has been hiding under a rock. Just re watch that video of her that K-Fed and tell me she wasn't high as a kite.

Well if you can't trust a man whose name looks suspiciously like burrito, who can you trust? At least we know why Britney hired him.

@17 That is some funny stuff troll. Now stop dreaming about the past with your brother and live in the now!!!!

SFU!!!

Let's check with Brit herself, after her VMAs performance:

"Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!"

I believe she had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity.

Oh dear god, # 23.
What girl doesn't have that "I look like a fat pig" moment??
Especially one is is used to be toned and fit.

The new pic is a nice visual display to guide people as they battle overeating and overweight:

Bodyguard: obese
Britney: fat
Girl in black: acceptable weight

Note that Britney's arms are the size of girl-in-black's legs.

It must've been weed. Looks like she had quite a case of the munchies.

She is getting too easy to rip. The fun is almost gone. At some point, it is not cool anymore to rip on the stupid kid. I just hope it was Brit that tried to put the hit out on K-Fed. Then things will be fun again.

You're a fucking retard #26
She's closer to the camera than the girl in black. You're honestly one dumb mother fucker.

I APOLOGIZE. I MEAN #25 IS A RETARD, NOT #26

poor brit. shes really really pathetic. but she brought it upon herself.

she looks terrible.

You can take the girl out of the Arkansas trailer park, but....

she needs your abs #30....

Thin attractive girls are very picky, so we often have to fuck the fat ones, but it's not our first preference. When we're young, we go to bars, get buzzed, try to pick up the real hotties, usually bomb out, then get truly drunk and drag a fattie back home because it's better than nothing. Over a longer period of time we try to do the same thing, and marry a hottie, but just like closing time eventually the lights start to flicker and we've got to grab something and marry it. Hopefully, she'll be at least ok, and not completely pull the rip cord after marriage and become a hog, although that's pretty hopeless if she gets pregnant. If we have better options, we go for them, whether it's an affair or divorce and remarriage. If not, we try to accept being stuck with a pig by drinking a lot and getting really involved as fans of professional sports. At least then we can check out the hot cheerleaders and later beat off in the shower. That's the sole reason "Heroes" was a breakout hit, and why Hayden Panettiere is considered hot - she brings back happy high school memories for depressed men yoked to porky pig mommywives.

And yeah, Britney's fat. Young mother of two fat. Soon to be even fatter. Jesus.

Drugs are bad, mmmmkay.

Whether Britney is fat or not (and apparently more research is required on that one), this was still funny: "I believe she had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity."

But just a moment, then it was back to fucking crazy Britney. Yeah, it's just not funny anymore. Unless she dies in some unbelievably convoluted way, like an episode of CSI where it takes them all damn hour to figure out how someone died, then it'll be kinda funny again, then just sad. Congratulations, Britney, you're at the Anna Nicole Smith level of fame now. That's not a good thing, in case you were wondering.

Closeness to the camera has nothing to do with the fact that you can't see her kneecaps clearly, since they're submerged in a layer of fat descending from her ass, through her thighs, and onto her sprouting cankles. Girl in black has no such proportions.

Go back to your bonbons.

you're a pig, #33. I can't imagine ....if you think Britney's fat....what you think a "hott, skinny" girl looks like.

I can clearly see her kneecaps you fucktard. And yes, closeness to the camera does have a little something to do with looking bigger than objects in the background. But um, nice try though.

Wow, #33, that is bleak. Can't say that you're wrong, though. Never been married, so I can't speak from experience. Although you left out the part where the man puts on a ton of weight too and spends most of his time sitting in the La-Z-Boy watching ESPN but still expects to get laid with the same frequency he did when he and the little woman were just dating and had nothing better to do in their free time than screw and eat. Oh, and he watches porn all the time and thinks that's how sex is supposed to be and makes his wife feel bad because she doesn't wanna do it like Jenna Jameson. I see plenty of unattractive, tubby men that I wouldn't want to spend 5 minutes with, much less a lifetime. Just sayin'.

@18--Nope. I just tore it apart with my bare hands and then drank the fluid inside for nourishment (don't go there boys--don't go there)!

@21. lol! damnit... now i want a burrito... good thing these pix of Brit remind me of how i DONT want to look. im not getting a burrito!!!

Ah, yes LL. You've got wise comments. Took the words right out of my mouth

She's on drugs??? NO!! shocker.
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@39.... hahahaha. 33 lives a sad life.

also, is this a recent picture? i said she looked terrible at #30, but she looks more put together here.

she should work out and get toned, back to her old body if she ever wants to make a comeback.
she wont make a comeback as long as she keeps buying cheetos in bulk.

If you think Britney Spears has a weight problem you are all faggots who like cock in your ass or fat toothless jealous cow women. She looks damn good for having 2 kids and she actually has some meat on her bones. Since when did being rail thin and have sunken in cheeks become the definition of beauty? I think any meat eating testosterone filled straight male would nail Brit Brit in a heart beat. And if you wouldn't send me a picture of your wife cause you're full of shit. And if your a chick sent me a pic of yourself cause I'm sure you're fat cow.

Only way works out is if it involves free booze and unlimited cheetoh puffs. She can't even go to dance without a smoke in her hand. Pretty pathetic.

personally, i dont think shes FAT necessarily, but you cant say she looks good. a bmi of 19 is like, the perfect weight. britney is 5'5", so a good weight on her would be 114-120.

kelley belly...WTF are you talking about? How do you know what she weighs? And she does look good, and she's not fat. So STFU.

In case anyone's wondering, I don't think Britney is fat. Out of shape, yes, fat, not really. It's too bad that almost everyone in America has been so jacked up in regards to body image (with some refusing to see fat where it exists and most others believing that any sign of body fat constitutes obesity) that few people know fat when they see it or exaggerate it when it is there. Britney's problem (well, her physical problem) is that she wears fugly clothes that make her look way tubbier than she actually is. Clothes do make a significant difference in the way you look (in public, anyway). If you wear something so goddamn tight that everyone can see the outline of every pore on your ass, that's probably going to be unflattering no matter who you are.

#49 she obviously weighs more than 120 pounds, id say a good 140.

so. stfu.

eat it bitch.

Ummm, for a girl wearing the crap Britney does, she needs to tighten her abs. Fact is, you wear that crap, you ask for the critique. Don't try to act all sexy like, then get pissed when the reality is that you are not what you once were. Sure, she looks good for two kids. But she she does not look like she once did, and like she ought to wearing the outfits she does. She had rolls in the VMAs. She has no pride in herself like a Madonna who understands that she banks off her appearance. Britney, Inc. is about to shut down unless hse pulls it together. Just the reality.

Is that Britney in the yellow dress? Because if it is I want to fuck her.
I don't understand why everyone says Britney is fat. She's not fat. I mean, she's not skinny like Nicole Richie, but I don't want that.
If I met a girl that looked exactly like Britney does right now, say at a bar, and we went back to my apartment, and my wife wasn't there, and we sat down on the couch, had a glass of Everclear, and she took off her clothes, I would have a boner like lickety-split. I can only dream of a girl who looks like Britney standing over me, ready to slide her silky snizz down onto my below-average dick. And you know she has a tight, smooth pussy because she c-sectioned those two maggots of hers and didn't deliver them like a vagenius.
Even though I don't pack enough to pound Britney's pussy from behind, I would do anything to be able to. Can you imaging what it must feel like to be fucking Britney Spears on your couch, she's just wearing a pair of high heels, and you're really opening her up, she's screaming, Give it to me harder, y'all, you gotta fuck that pussy harder, y'all, and for one magical moment you're able to hold off from cumming, you've got perfect dick control, and you're fucking her harder than anyone ever has, so hard she leans back and whispers in your ear, I think I'm about to squirt, y'all, and that's when you pull out and she shoots a stream of pussy nectar across your studio apartment, dousing a framed photo of your family at Passover, and right when she's done squirting she tells you to stick your dick back in her pussy and pound the shit out of it, which is what you do, and then, right when you don't think you can control yourself any longer, Britney says, You gotta come in my mouth, y'all, which is what you do, you come in Britney Spears' mouth, she's kneeling down in front of you and she opens her mouth and grabs your dick and begins to furiously stroke it, and she says, Come in my fucking mouth, y'all, and when she says that you do, you come in her mouth, and it's a lot of come, that's what Britney says, she says, That's a lot of come, y'all, and then she looks you dead in the eye and swallows it.
You mean to tell me you wouldn't want that to happen to you?

LL is right - she's out of shape, not fat. She's not toned anymore. But certainly not fat like most of these people (men, I'd assume) think.

Only a white boy would say Britney is fat. Healthy little blondes with a little jiggle on them are like catnip to a brother. I used to fuck this little blonde bitch with big titties back in the day. She lived next door. She was only fifteen, and she still had some baby flab on her ass, but she fucked me like a demon. Bitch used to pin her own legs behind her ears, let me fuck her mouth, did pearl necklaces when she was on the rag. Britney came on like a virgin, but know she aint, which is why everyone's so uptight. K-Fed broke that bitch in like the thoroughbred she is. Her only mistake was that she didn't get an abortion, because that bitch is here on planet earth for one reason and one reason only: to fuck and to be fucked. Now she lost her purpose. That's why she's so upset. I know I'm getting all serious here, but it makes me sad to see a fine little white girl ignored. What she needs to make her feel better is a big black dick. That shit cures everything, including the common cold. It's hard to think about the daily pressures of life when you have a twelve-inch chocolate monster filling you up like concrete.

FAT? NO
OUT OF SHAPE? MAYBE
TOTALLY LAME? ABSOLUTELY

Dear Penthouse,
I never thought I would be writing you, but I met this woman in a yellow dress...

Is that the theme for tonight?

PLLLLLEEEEEAAAASSSSSEE, Take the kids away from this slut bag, and give the kids to Kevin. Kevin is a much better dad, And for thoes who say he screwed her, Remember, she pursued him, when the HO knew that he had a girlfriend, with a child and one in her tummy, KARMA, She deserves every thing coming her way.

Why didn't the fat cow pick up her own hat! What a lazy little heifer! I suppose she can't pick up her drugs either.

Holy crap, I just lost it over that Britney Spears tank imagery. I haven't laughed so hard at this site in ages. I love you Superfish. Be mine.

Love the shoes! Dress is cute too. Good job on this outfit Brit. If you had hair on your head you could have gone without the black head wrap thing.

Otherwise, considering what your outfits have been looking like...Kudos girl!

check out #56 PB Smailes - girls, if you pork out, your reward is a drooling nig.

As always on these types of threads, the girls are talking to the girls - "Do you think I look fat???" "Noooooo!" It's a game you girls play, in between bouts of savagely tearing each other down behind each other's back. Has zero impact on what guys think. If you're lesbian, that doesn't matter. If you're straight, it's the only opinion that matters, because we're the ones who fuck you, not your girlfriends. But carry on - the knee-jerk reflex aspect of your responses is always amusing to watch.

My, #33, how pathetic your little life is. I'll bet you are a factory worker or some sort of blue collar slob who makes a little money and spends it on redneck pursuits while neglecting your fat wife and 3 fat kids. I can imagine that you are no prize yourself, buddy- so keep jacking off to cheerleaders; it's really all you have left.

You are a disgusting little slip of a man Goldstein. Ugh.

I wouldn't be surprised if one of her ex-employees came out and said Britney smoked her kids' baby teeth to get high. She's just that off.

And yeah, she's not fat, but she's out of shape as hell. If she's supposed to compete with the new pop tartlets out here with their six-pac abs and minimal body fat, she has to get it together or change her image. Like someone said, you don't see Madonna slubbing around looking like an obese slug and she's damn near 100. That's because she knows her body is a part of the packaging and thus keeps it in tip top shape. Maybe instead of swapping spit with Madonna, she should have gotten her trainer's phone number.

(And 33, you seem to be under the impression that all men are hard bodied sex gods, when in reality most of you could stand to do a few crunches just like Britney. America in general is overweight, meaning most of you sexist putzes probably need to lay off the hungry man dinners and hit the gym as much as your female counterparts. Unless you're built like Christian Bale, Ryan Reynolds, or Jake Gyllenhaal, shut the fuck up and go back to jerking off to pics on the internet. You know, since that's the closest you'll ever get to a real live vagina.)

Jenny Craig is calling

the yellow dress made britney looks like an idiot.

There should be some type of thread-Emmy award. #33 wins for best trolling - an obviously exaggerated comment that nevertheless got all the ladies steaming. Honestly, girls, do you have to be so pathetically insecure about this? You fall for these playground pranks every time, starting when Fish dangles a line by calling a slightly chubby girl "fat". Do you have any self-control at all?

"Ah said pick up mah dang hat, Fat Man! Yer fard!"

I'm sorry everyone I'm a bit on edge and I didn't get fucked up the ass last night by my boyfriend...who's a nig too. I actually should have agreed with you PB. It does feel nice to have a big black monster shoved up your rectum, and the best part is that I get to lick the boo-boo off his manhood after he slides it out as well as swallow his man milk.

PB will YOU bend me over tonight?

As a female, I actually found #33 quite funny! Everyone who's getting so bent, get a sense of humor, people! If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? Okay, okay, the list is long (starting w/ Brit Brit, of course), but come on...lighten up.

#33,

Awesome post...accept I've gone home with plenty of hot girls, had hot girl friends, I mean we don't always have to settle for fat chicks...it's just there are more of them then their are hot girls. It all depends on how desperate for lovin' you are.

Since when is Ben and Jerry's a drug? Or is the heavenly Hash just that?

hmmmmmmm

She never should have fired that bodyguard. Next to him, she looks human-fat, instead of livestock-fat.

Did she really fire him for not hearing her say "pick up my hat"? Is she really that tiny of a human being? (Despite looking rather globular).

#33.....Thanks for spilling your guts about your personal history. Everyone here cares. Really.

Claiming that *all* men fail at getting hot chicks is absurd. You're simply angry and jealous of the guys that do get 'em.

Hopefully you won't go over the edge and commit rape and/or murder. You're seriously disturbed, angry at the women who reject you and envious of the guys who succeed where you fail.

My staff will refer you to a specialist and as a goodwill gesture I will pay for the treatment.
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28, 38...

Sometimes you're brilliant, others you're an illogical fuckwit. But you can work on that to bring out your best.

Actually the girl in black is 2 feet behind Brit with the camera being at an angle. That is minimal. Now if one were 20 feet away from the other, and in line with the camera, it would be significant.

Call my office for treatment recommendations and a list of educational institutions offering high school equivelency classes.

This is a prime example of what is wrong with our court system. We have to have someone come in a make a declaration to prove what the entire world already knows. It's like having Gallieo on trial, and then the court requiring someone to attest to the earth going around the sun. What a waste of taxpayer time.

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#33 That's what I thought.

Baretto just slit his own throat; and is now A PARIAH!! once you turn on a celebrity after working for them...what celebrity in their right mind will want to hire you fatso!...They'd be afraid you'd turn on them!!!.....Better find a new line of work...perhaps sumo wrestler or go on the next fat march!..