Jul 3 2007Jessica Simpson has monster calves

She just gets better and better... if she were a man.

Must be slow news day.. Calves!?

1st

The good news is that you'll never get a glimpse of those calves while she's pounding you in the ass

shes such a man

In an interview she said she works really hard on her calves, because they allow her to get airborne for those super-deep anal thrusts.

hey look its a man

Shes healthy and hot, you should stfu.

Clearly you have never exercised.

JIMBO thanks a lot- I just spewed CocaCola through my nose. and all over my LCD.

PS Carbonation burns.

Maui Wowie! She still looks bangin

Maybe she's planning on murdering John Mayer with a Beniot leg style headlock, because that would be worth the ticket price..........

@8 Holly - I am glad you got a good laugh, but that was my troll. She is pretty funny sometimes.

idiot I agree she looks hot, but I have never excersized by standing on my tiptoes all day long

Oh OK. Damn. You mean I snorted my beverage for a complete stranger? I feel so tricked...so violated...

It's been a good day!

Ew Puke. I don't understand how ANY guy would find this creature remotely attractive. Whenever a guy I am talking to says Jessica Simpson is hot and he wants to do her, I puke in my mouth. Does that happen to anyone else? And guys, please, if you want to Jessica Simpson, tell me why...enlighten me...I'm bored at work.

aww poor jessica..first she leaves Nick and ends up with a loser while hes banging some other ok looking chick and getting paid to conceal sexx tapes and naked pics.. isnt karma a bitch sweetie.

That definition isn't from the muscle being toned. It's the indentions made by her ears.

I agree with #7, regardless of whether you think she is hot or not, these are normal calves for someone who exercises and stays in good shape.....

14.

Its cause she is hot, great breasts, nice long legs and nice hips. If I HAD to pick a flaw, which I dont really think it is, but some pics make her look like she has a strong jawline.

She is fuggin smoking though and really dumb and wealthy, how is that not hot?

http://images.google.ca/images?hl=en&q=jessica+simpson&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2

I'd have no problem if those calves were squeezing me pretty tightly.

She really is a man, that big Jay Leno chin and monster calves and feet.

I would do her but there are much better women that I do know.

@18, I found a flaw...that large ass mouth she sings, sorry, screams out of!

@ LINZERS

Of course you don't get it. you are a girl. Maybe if you were to spit out that puke instead of re-eating it you may be more attrative to men.

She's hot, it's cute when every guy who thinks can't have her just act like "Sour grapes" and trash her. She's hot, caves are strong to keep me from pulling out.

I wouldn't call these "normal" calves and I'm assuming genetics has a lot to do with it (I can't build mine up not matter how hard I try). She's looking healthy and is taking care of herself.

the girl is plain UGLY, never been hot, her face is mannish kinda like ali landry, expect her to look like Demi Moore in a couple of decades and then she will have a shot at Ashton K..................

These calves of her seem to be fully grown bulls.Does she play soccer or something?

She's bulking up for her date with Michelle Rodriguez. They have a bet over which one of them will end up wearing the dirty sanchez. Jessica's got all the advantages by the tale of the tape (height, reach, weight) but Michelle's a well known expert at using flatulence as a weapon, and Jessica's retarded to begin with. My only hope is that whoever wins has the goddam common courtesy to give the other one a reach-around.

she missed a couple spots shaving the back of her thigh. in any case, i'm not a hater--she's gorg and i want amazing calves.

I don't know if it's aggression or retardation, but she never lets you know when she's about to cum in your face.

Will the real Jimbo please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here...

Oh, crap. I just noticed that I missed the last 4 posts!!! Lindsay needs shoes? Moss got fired? What the hell is going on here??!!??

jesus fucking christ. what's with all the sympathizers?

Not hot, never has been. Big tits but that is the extent of her "hotness". And her idiotic brain and lack of ANY talent overcomes those big tits so she is useless.

Hmmm, looks like an average chick walking. What huge news.

Damn. I would kill for those calves. Of course, I'm a dude. I'm sure she would kill for my dignity, of which she has none left.

18--if you find "really dumb" girls attractive, I have a retarted cousin to introduce you to.

Sorry. I can't spell.

I have an uncle who owns a farm maybe we can get him to brand that heifer!

http://www.spamfreeforums.com/cootercleavage/

She's done so many squats and leg presses that her Steamers are perfect coils of tightly-packed stool no more than half an inch in diameter

Monster calves? Those are some in-shape legs! My calves look the same from being a runner, and I'm pretty sure it's not disgusting.

She's a dwarf - all dwarf's have big looking calves - it's also why she can go from cow to dukes of hazzard by losing 10 lbs.

HAHAHA #34- FUNNY.

AND UM HEY #22. YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN. FIRST OF ALL, DID I SAY I DIDNT FIND ANY GIRLS ATTRACTIVE? NO. THERE ARE PLENTY OF BEAUTIFUL CELEBRITIES OUT THERE. SO GO SUCK A DICK. SECOND, DID I SAY I WASNT ATTRACTIVE? AND DOES IT EVEN FUCKING MATTER TO YOUR PATHETIC LOSER ASS? NO, BIG GUY IT DOESNT. IM SORRY..I'M BEING MEAN, YOU ARE PROBABLY THE WAY YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. JUST TRY BEING NICER OK?

Hey FRIST - I am here.

AND TO THE SCHMUCK WHO SAID SHE HAS LONG BEAUTIFUL LEGS, GET REAL PLEASE. SHE IS SHORT AND A LITTLE ON THE STUMPY SIDE. NO POSSIBILTY OF HAVING THE LGS YOU SPEAK OF. SHE HAS TO WORK OUT SO MUCH BECAUSE IF SHE DOESNT, HER GOD GIVEN PEAR SHAPED BODY WOULD REVEAL ITSELF...SHES NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THAT. I SAW IT WITH BRITNEY WHEN SHE LOOKED DECENT AND I SEE IT WITH BUBBALICIOUS JESSICA CHINSON TOO.

You can tell which one is a troll by her infatuation with steamers.

at least her legs are not full of cellulite and blue veins

YEAH EVEEE. THAT'S A BONUS. YOURE ALWAYS LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? AT LEAST SHE TAPES HER PENIS TO HER LEG SO IT DOESNT POP OUT WHEN SHES THINKING OF NICKS TIGHT BUTT.

linzers - it's the button just to the left of the "A". you really, really, really need to press it, now...

#40 whoa whoa whats with the yelling? so much hostility so much anger.

okay so those calves are a little much, but that just means she's inshape,
#39 are you saying that at 5'3 she's a dwarf? i'm hurt!

Hey Jimbo - the ∞ just fell off your ass!

how can anyone say that she is ugly? she might not be the most beautiful person on the face of the earth but Jessica Simpson is NOT ugly...jealousy must get tiring sometimes

WHY? IS THERE SOME UNWRITTEN SUPERFICIAL CODE THAT BANS THE USE OF CAPS LOCK? OR DOES IT JUST BOTHER YOU, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, IF IT JUST BOTHERS YOU, THEN SHAME ON ME, DAMN ME STRAIGHT TO HELL REALLY.

Yes I know. My troll was using it, so I stopped. I am sure she will stop using it now, so I will have to start again.

You have mail...

#11 - the troll's are back in full force. Fish must be tired of me dogging him about the lack of timely news, so he's back posted anal fantasies under my name again. Our trolls are looking the same at this point.

So old ....

#18 & #21 - not to mention the cavern between her ears where her brain is supposed to be. It's gone missing.

#26 - LMFAO!! Nice "Full Metal Jacket" reference.

Calves like that come from serious deep knee bends. While sex with her must be ultra-freaky, having to hear her speak afterwards would be unbearable. I'd have to pull a Benoit about 15 minutes after blowing my load across her chin.

no offense linzer but your kind of annoying. chill out with the anger and take a deep breath whooo heeee whooo heee in out in out..better?

CLEARLY I HAVE A LOT TO SAY TODAY. KRISTEN. SHE IS HIDEOUS. PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THIS. I KNOW KERMIT WAS IN LOVE WITH MISS PIGGY AND THAT WAS PROBABLY YOUR FAVORITE SHOW, MAYBE IT STILL IS AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT BUT...MY POINT IS THAT KERMIT WAS A FROG. AND MISS PIGGY WAS A PIG. AND I KNOW, JESSICA SIMPSON LOOKS IDENTICAL TO MISS PIGGY, BUT ITS JUST NOT NATURAL. A HUMAN SHOULDNT LOOK LIKE A PIG. SO JUST BECAUSE MISS PIGGY IS CUTE, AND JESSICA SIMPSON IS MISS PIGGY, THE MATH JUST DOESNT ADD UP. IF X = Y AND Y=Z, DOES X =Z? NO!

There's no code, it's just that everybody knows it's more difficult to read text written in all-caps, so most people don't use it.

But at this site you're free to do whatever you like. Poop your pants, if you wish! Nobody's trying to stop you...

*backs away slowly*

DEAR DRAMAQUEEN,
IF YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY THAT I AM ANNOYING, IT WOULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE IF YOU SAID "YOU'RE KIND OF ANNOYING"...JUST A LITTLE HEADS UP THERE BABE.

do you realize you just made absolutely no sense whatsoever so im just going to go ahead and ignore your existence

#49 actually not at all, its quite fun, try it. but i do agree, she is not the ugly, maybe not GORGEOUS but def not ugly, if i was a man, i'd hit it, but im not...so i wont

Dear Linzer,
no one likes you.
love,
dramaqueen

hahahaha #56 I love you. You made me LOL. All I wanted to know was why I couldn't use CAPS LOCK. Why didn't you just say so sooner? hahaha poop my pants, you rascal you! I love it!

can zomeone pleaze tell me
Y her & thebagladyzpearz
turned into middle aged men?

I mean, mommiedearezt did have
kidz..thatz a pozzible reazon,
but Jezzica...zhe iz not looking
like a girl theze dayz↓↓♫☺☺☻☻☺☺♪

#58 thats all i was trying to say...it is not like i think that jessica simpson is the most beautiful thing to walk the face of the earth but she is not ugly. i was just trying to answer one of linzer's previous posts, but now shes got her caps lock on and going full force with her craziness.

Thats what legs look like when they have the fat sucked out of them. nice lipo jess you no talent retard.

Aww now you're just being a mean little drama queen. Can't two people have different opinions anymore? Can't they??? And Kristen, I made PERFECT sense. If you didn't pass 10th grade math though, you wouldn't get it. So apparently you are either in ninth grade, or just a dumbass. Hmm which one do I choose???

#54 totally pointless
i mean...TOTALLY POINTLESS
sorry i had to try, i thought maybe using caps helps get a point across...doesnt look like it

WTF is happening to this place? All you dumb fuckers saying she's hot, ahem, put your panties back on and don't let the door hit you in the pussy.

#62 shes ALMOST as annoying as damn Z girl, ALMOST

no linzer it did not make sense considering you just bust out with some ridiculous anaology to get your immature response across. Also, considering I am probably a lot older than you and not probably a recently graduated senior who thinks she is hot she because she is no longer in high school. Get over it honey, move on with your life.

lalaland haha i don't think anyone could bother me more than the girl who has yet to learn about the letter S. no one. but you are right she is close.

i agree with #49. as annoying and retarted as jessica simpson is, she's definitely not ugly.

thank you #70 watch out linzer might get all caps lock on your ass for agreeing though

People People People...Listen. I am at work and CAPS LOCK is always on...I forget to turn it off. Deepest regrets. Can we please move on from that topic? Kristen, do you wanna have an age face off?? See who wins in the good old age department? Fun times here on the superficial...where readers compete over their ages...
but please don't hold me in suspense! you didn't finish your sentence. GOD I HATE ILLITERATE PEOPLE...please complete it:

"Also, considering I am probably a lot older than you and not probably a recently graduated senior who thinks she is hot she because she is no longer in high school..."

WHAT???

Jess, mad!, HULK SMASH!!!!

Will you give it up already and go back to work. No one likes hearing you speak anyway you are just bothering people.

Also, when I am writing on a website gossip forum I am not going to use perfect grammer does not make me illiterate...talk to the girl using all Z's about illiterate

Good one Kristen! Because I DIDN'T just say everyone is entitled to their own opinion! Ok here is my thought: this is a forum, where people express themselves. I am pretty sure I asked, "OH MY GOD, how can anyone be attracted to her??" I was asking a question. A noun is a person, place, or thing. I seriously feel like I am teaching the slow English class in highscool, which was 8 years ago (ok Kristen, if it's not too difficult, do the math and then you will know how old I am...Yes, you can use your calculator, don't fret).

Anyway, some people think pigs are hot, others don't. The point of this godforsaken forum is to say what you want. Don't get so offended.

Kristen, the nice thing about computers and the internet is that you read things, you don't listen to them. So no one has to hear me speak, as you put it. In fact, this may be weird to you, but I don't SAY everything I type. If you do, that's hysterical.

#72 thats how it is at my work too, so i understand that, but do you not watch the screen as you type? or do you have to stare at the keyboard the whole time to make sure you hit the right keys?
its the superficial, get use to taking a few blows here and there

will you please shutup about your English lesson, last time I checked talking to you was not important enough to me to type properly. Also, I believe my first post was simply stating my opinion on things too. So, I believe Miss Linzer, that you just lost your arguement because if you would like to post your opinions of Jessica Simpson on here I about positive I can do the same. Another thing, you responded to me so apparently you were the one offended, which is when you used your ridicuously stupid Kermit & Miss Piggy example. Lastly, I do not care about your age because regardless of how old you are, you are not acting much older than about hmm...12?

and I am going to end this right now, so you might as well not respond, but I am sure you will feel the need to because you apparently have a problem with letting things go. So with that said, goodbye Linzer. I will not give you the satisfaction of responding to your bullshit any longer. It has been fun. Later.

#76 "I don't SAY everything I type. If you do, that's hysterical." hahaha that actually made me laugh, no offense kristen, i was just actually picturing somebody yelling everything they say as they type it...
but linzer....this is the superficial, not an english class, nobody is going to sit there making sure every word is spelled right, every period is in place, etc etc

lala- I don't stare at my keyboard. I already said I didn't know it was uncool to use Caps. Once I did, I uncapped it. The end.
No wait, please, bring on the blows, I love them. If I dished them out and couldn't take them, I'd be a sad Kristen, I mean person.

Kristen, I never said you couldn't post your damn opinion. and you DID care about my age! Please, try harder to remember the things you actually type. No better yet, please let's just stop talking to each other. I can't deal with your bad grammar and ridiculous spelling. But thanks for livening up my boring work day...Almost 4:30 though! Yay!

I think Kristen already said that Linzer.

Wow Kristen, I know you have banished me from your life, but we were thinking the SAME EXACT thing! We agreed! Maybe it's not to late for us...tell me that you think...

Yes she did crazy loe, you are very observant grasshopper. But I didn't read it until after I posted the same thing.

Are you sure she's not a Transformer? I can almost hear the whirring of gears and motors and hydraulics just looking at this.

Or, maybe that's just me wishing I had a fully-functioning life-size Jessica Simpson fuck-doll, with optional scary brown hair and skin.

aw is the fight over? i'm going home!

haha sorry to disappoint lalaland.

Jezzica ztart doing
zitupz..get off of
thoze legz..they're
ugly...§☺☻♥♣♪◘♣

kirsten, don't go! after all that fighting, we expect you and Linzers to kiss and make up, then start getting all hot, and eventually succumb to ATM insanity. Is that too much to ask?

I'm going home too! happy fourth of July my new friends! lala don't worry, I am sure we can resume the fight on Monday the 9th when I come back to work. That's right suckas!! This girl has a mini vacation coming up in T minus 4 minutes!

monday?! i have to come back THURSDAY

(I'm not getting paid for it if that makes you feel any better)

yes a little bit

Oh you dinks what you are seeing here is just the transformation of a straight girl into a full on bull dyke.

People those are either man calves or lesbo legs, no straight girl has legs like that. You see calves like that are needed for strength to pound your lady in various positions or for lesbians to do some hard core scissoring. Basically Jess is either taking a one way trip to carpet munchers city or taco lovers land (because she clearly sucks at dating men and finally gave up) or that ugly douchebag John Mayer used the old “I’m gay”, line to get rid of her and poor dumb Jess decided to become a man to win old Johnny back. Little does she know he’s plowing a field of dirty little groupies as I type. Poor Jessica; stupid as the day is long that one.

wow, She is a man

I don't care what anyone says - she'd so get it.

Thanks, CursedClem, you're a sweetie! But what do you mean "she'd so get it"??? I think you're a little confused. Now bend over.

*zip*

Wow. This is my first time on this site and I must say that some of you are a little over dramatic, don't you think?? Is it necessary to insult each other, act like middle schoolers and fight back and forth? I though this was a place to comment on celebrity photos.
(which I suppose I haven't done either).

*thought

Holy smokes! When did that happen?! I thought she was getting alittle mushy. Don't tell me calve implants for women are gonna be the next big thing in Hollywood, ugh! Kudos to Jessica for getting in shape, but she's overdone the muscle thing. The look is not becoming on her short stature and frame. eeek.

i'm sure they don't look like that all the time. it's probably because she just left the gym AND more importantly, she's walking around on her tippy toes. unless you have layers of fat on your legs, everyone's calf muscles would looke so defined by walking around like that.

They're calf implants. Old news.

Nothing to see here folks, move along.

man, she's boring. she's like the most boring person that ever lived. i feel really sorry for her and the fact that she must be shitting herself about how pointless her life is once everyone got used to seeing her boring tits and smile and realised there was nothing else

short, overly muscular legs = unattractive on both men and women.

PERIOD.

Uhh shes walking on her toes...obvi they're gonna look sooooo defined...you people are silly,by silly i mean dumb

Hey Jessica we need a #2 as defense in my soccer team, wanna join us?

MONSTER CALVES..{just like a Tranny}.

Ewww!..not to mention visible cellulite..and folliculitis too.

Pssst..Hey Jess.

Did ya hear Johnny Knoxville is getting DIVORCED..just like you?

You still may have a chance with him.

Go for it Girl!..LoL

You won't have to sneak around this time. *wink*

Frist, I am at home in my baby pool drinking a beer. My guyfriend here is online and reading me the posts for today. Stop lying, you know that I am posting these myself, and soon as I get my little swim, I will get my dick sucked by my guyfriend. A wonderful Fourth of July.

I just don't get it. Why doesn't she have a private gym in her home, and have her trainer come to her. That's what all the other celebrities do in West LA and Beverly Hills. It's not like she doesn't have the money. I guess this is the only location that a few board paparazzi will still take her picture.

What's that coming over the hill, is it a manbeast.

aside from spence and his scent, simpson is the most manly, annoying hor with cankles that i have laid my eyes on. a beast is putting it lightly...i believe she still is considered a mammal, but that is still questionable - is bigfoot, or frankenstein, considered a mammal? simpson will go down in folklore as the first man beast photographed. wait a sec, now i understand the public interest - god knows she has no talent.

weird looking!

This girl makes my teeth itch. Go away Jessica.

There is nothing remotely 'man-like' about Jessica Simpson but since you seem to enjoy looking for masculine attributes in some of the most beautiful women alive today perhaps you should concentrate on shemales.

shes got some lumpy thighs for a young woman whos never had children

Please tell me that somebody doctored that....

I don't care what most men say about her. If they looked past the FAKE breasts (and they are fake, by the way), they can plainly see that she is not attractive and HAS NO TALENT what so ever. And, she has got to have the IQ of a tennis ball. No brains, no talent and fake boobs. It's nice to know that people recognize real potential when they see it...Sheesh!

What's wrong with calves? I love muscular calves