Jul 30 2007Jessica Alba wanted to get married

Thirds??

hahaha...first comment ever on this site for me and....
FIRST

damnit! i was beat by someone who didnt even have the balls to claim the spot!!!

oh well. jessica alba is gorgeous huh.

Yeah, that does seem a little hard to believe...so why doesn't someone just ask Cash what the deal is?! I'm sure he'd be more than happy to get his 5 mins of fame and tell all.

Thank god they didn't get married and breed. He looks like a fucking geek. Imagine how the kids would have looked...

I'll marry her!

Son of a fuckin bitch, you have to be the dumbest fuck on this earth to admit that you aren't ready to get married to Jessica Alba. That fuck needs to get his head examined. I would do everything imaginable to her sexually.

he's an idiot .

I should learn how to spell

this 'insider' is trying to cover up that jessica's a cold hearted bitch.

Remember, no matter how hot a woman is - some guy, some where is tired of her shit!

I heard that their relationship ended months ago...

and eva longoria just recently got married.

Way to go "source"

NDV...I guess that's because I don't have balls ;). Just didn't want to say "First" and be 10th...hee hee. As for Jessica Alba, Cash Warren looks like a dork. She's better off.

Wait, your telling me Abraham Lincoln wasn't a woman???

#11 yeah, cause nobodys perfect

What can I tell you, she's fridgid! It was like humping my sister! But least my sister got into it, at least a little! Of course with my sister it was hard to tell, you know with all her crying and what not!!!

Lmao@ #11

three separate marriage articles today? holy hell.

I bet she doesnt even like sex, I bet shes the biggest prude in the world thats why cash dumped her ass

Gross. I thought she was a dark, sexy, cold-hearted ice queen that devoured the hearts of men as appetizers. Now I'm thinking maybe she's just some half-attractive broad with a job. Maybe 50 Cent will marry her. I'm not sure the science at CelebrityMatch.com is as sound as I thought it was. I assumed the study of "biorhythms" was a hard science since it contained the affix "bio," but now I'm not so sure.

In the end MOST men marry a woman for her personality.

Why would a guy want to marry a hot girl with no personality?

That's called a hookup, not a life long commitment.

Come to me Jennifer.......

I'll do ya right.

.

@1 & 2...losers...absolute losers....

Wow so not only is this chick boring, but she's clingly too?

yawn

ps Cash is an idiot, everybody knows if you're just a crew member dating a rich, famous actor you marry them then dump them for the spousal support...fool

Yeah, and that's why she texted him saying "I'm not in love with you anymore." Gee, I figured that love was something you couldn't turn off like your I-pod. People, marriage is the kibosh. Get married and prepare for divorce.

When will these kids learn?

That's a shame because I really think that I, like everyone else in the world, had a shot at her.

How could you be in a bad mood in Paris? It's the perfect place to find someone new.

www.spraysinthecity.com

@28, ask all the guys who have been in Paris, and they'll tell you why they're usually in a bad mood once they pull out!

Getting married to JAlba is something you just do, you don't need to think about it. I hope the rumor is false, I was actually feeling sorry for Casshole.

I agree with my fellow misogamists on this and other postings.

WHAT??? Lincoln was a woman?!?
that would explain lots then.

@26 You can turn your iPod off by holding down the play button. Love's the same way.

You guys don't actually believe he didn't want to marry her, right?

#33 - What I MEANT was it shouldn't be so easy to turn off, dodo. (Wait, YOU know what I meant, yer just messin with me). Guess I'm the dodo.

Very nice dress. I wonder if she wears sexy lingerie under that, or just boring cotton panties and bra.
I would like to think that she had on something very sexy and hot under that dress. I know I would.

#32 You just repeated my exact same post!!! What are you some kind of iraqni!!!

Maybe he couldn't marry someone with such a freakishly long second toe (see last pic)?

I kid, I kid. She is flawless, mutant toe and all. He would be hot... if he was a 50 year old.

#24 Manny,

Marriage isn't for everyone. Maybe he's the smart one who felt that marriage is the relationship killer.

Then again, since I think she's a shallow, vapid, coozebag, she probably couldn't wait to plan the HUGE HOLLYWOOD WEDDING that all shallow actresses plan. (Think Jennifer Lopez and her 12 weddings) I jest, folks.

Poor Jess. And a week or so ago I thought she'd become a cold hard bitch. You gotta give it to her for sticking to a guy for such a long period of time, though. At least she ain't like them scallywag hookers Hilton or Hohan!

@35 No dodo here nor there. I'm just playing with meanings. Sorry if I offended . . . I'm trying not to pick fights today.

Me no get offended, me likee to play too. I never fight on the Fish (not really).

hey way all that agresivity to the poor men, maybe Alba is a crazy B
because she look nice , mean she is nice

If there is any truth to the rumor then Cash just might be a closet case.

WHAT!!!, Abraham Lincoln wasn't a woman ??? :S

Fuck Jessica Alba. What a fucking bitch. That guy should dump her ass right away.

Cash is smarter than he looks. I wouldn't marry this bag of spoiled meat either.

@44 Probably.

Oh, you mean the other Cash, the Warren guy. I thought you meant "CASH Money Playah," which, as you may know, is you. As for the other guy, who's to know?

*16 I swear to God that was the funniest post I have ever read! I think I peed a little!!

Madness!! Fucking madness! Who the fuck wouldn't want to lock down Jessica Alba? It's Jessica Fucking Alba! This is not rocket science here! NO name rapper named after currency + Jessica Alba = fame, fourtune, and JESSICA FUCKING ALBA ON LOCKDOWN! What is this world coming too? There is no logical reasoning behind this. No one can tell me, 'oh, you're not cash warren. jessica alba might be a real bitch.' Bullshit! It's Jessica Alba, Goddess of this Planet! Mrs. Fantastic! Honey! Dark Fucking Angel! You gotta be kidding me!

Jessica was dumped and none of you have a chance or any good judgement of beauty either. She and Eva Longeria are two of the most overrated so-called 'beauties' to ever be associated with Hollywood.

Obviously she wasn't all that interesting to her ex-boyfriend. I wonder about all of you who are just saying and writing nonsense about Jessica's looks. She pretty OK. She no world class beauty. In FF4, Silver Surfer every woman at the bachelor party was better looking than her.

In fact the more I looked at Alba the more she looked like a Thai shemale with blond hair.

She has no ass worthy of note, and its a damn insult to JLO, Beyonce, vida Guerra and Kim Kardashian to have you people constantly comparing her boyish ass to theirs. To have a world-class feminine ass must suggest fertility on a instinctual level. Jessica Alba does not suggest fertility at all.
Now sit on the fact that her boyfriend dumped her because something's not right and all of you are wrong, blind and clueless as to what a real woman is supposed to look like.

#51 susanist

I agree with you but well, there are only two kinds of people who post on this; those who do it for shits and giggles, and others who have the mentality of 14-year-old boys/girls. (no offense ppl) So, your post, though brilliant and well thought out, will be wasted on the insipid. I liked it though.

Most of the Alba-ists are people who probably thought "Enough" was a good movie. (Newsflash, it wasn't!)

You want hot, Jessica Biel is hot, Salma Hayak is smokin', even Selma Blair, though a twig, is more interesting.

#48

After ripping your asshole apart there shouldn't be any doubt about it my little bitch. gay4girls is my sex toy

If the story is true, he probably won't marry her ass because she's probably a real pain in the ass, naggy, snotty, stubborn, cold fish bitch w/ eating disorder mood swings . I could be wrong, but thats just the impression that I get from her.

Wow, I can't believe I'm saying this, but now Cash earned my respect for not being ready to marry a woman with nothing interesting to say, no matter how much desired she is physically by other men.

I think Jessica wants to marry FiftyCent's money.

I think she doesn't deserve to get married. she is a dirty tramp with no morals. bless his for getting out when he did.

I hate this ugly white washed whore!!

She looks like she's ready for a buffet... fucking unsexy anorexic beeotch...

I will take Jessica and save her from the evils of whatever the FF is fighting.
I will suffer the risk of her boring me with her lovely skin tone and smile.

That is all.

P.S. Please do not attempt to send any substitute fat ass like Kardishitwat, Jblowup, or the new Salma Hayek II. I liked Salma in Desperado but she's now three times larger.

Mrs.Jessica Crazyotto.......I think I like the sound of that

>To have a world-class feminine ass must suggest fertility on a
>instinctual level.

I heard Mike Tyson say the exact same thing.

All Cash has to do now is date Natalie Portman for only three months and marry her and he'll be my new sex symbol. There's nothing hotter than a guy who knows which girl is good for sex alone and which girl has enough wit to be his wife.

so fuckin what? shes an UBER overrated pice of trash that denies her heritage, im so fucking sick iof her, she needs to die from that anorexia she brought on herself. shes like a bobble head, like what dwight K. schreut has on his desk in "the office"

elizabitch - July 30, 2007 11:16 AM

this 'insider' is trying to cover up that jessica's a cold hearted bitch.

^ ^ yup

susanist - July 30, 2007 1:08 PM

Jessica was dumped and none of you have a chance or any good judgement of beauty either. She and Eva Longeria are two of the most overrated so-called 'beauties' to ever be associated with Hollywood.

Obviously she wasn't all that interesting to her ex-boyfriend. I wonder about all of you who are just saying and writing nonsense about Jessica's looks. She pretty OK. She no world class beauty. In FF4, Silver Surfer every woman at the bachelor party was better looking than her.

In fact the more I looked at Alba the more she looked like a Thai shemale with blond hair.

She has no ass worthy of note, and its a damn insult to JLO, Beyonce, vida Guerra and Kim Kardashian to have you people constantly comparing her boyish ass to theirs. To have a world-class feminine ass must suggest fertility on a instinctual level. Jessica Alba does not suggest fertility at all.
Now sit on the fact that her boyfriend dumped her because something's not right and all of you are wrong, blind and clueless as to what a real woman is supposed to look like.

^ ^ your my fucking hero

susanist, albatross wont get preggo because shes afriad of her "latina genes" you know, how shes scared she'll be fat like the rest of her trashy family. fucking fuck you jesSUCKA! wel at least shell get a ton more roles, i mean, thats what a tea bag is for right? lol shes just a cruel experiment,. if she worked at the in-and-out burger in sherman oaks no one would give 2 duck squirts worth of shit about her uglyness

Sorry Superfish but it's probably true.

When a guy dates a really hot girl he gets a massive ego and thinks hey imagine what else I could get... like three hot girls all at once. Little does the douche realize that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and it will all be downhill from there. I've seen it happen OVER AND OVER. Mediocre guy gets really hot girl who loves and adores him and treats her welll... mediocre doucheboy gets massive ego and takes chick for granted. Then hot girl moves on to find super hot dreamboat man of the year type of guy (who she deserved to begin with) and mediocre loser stalks hot girl incessantly and goes crazy trying to get her back. Cash will be threatening to kill himself and stalking her in no time. She on the other hand will soon move on to a worthy guy, a male version of her if you will; a succesful guy who girls drool over
( Jessica Alba isn't a neuro surgeon but she's much more succesful than Cash ever will be the fact is he is WAYYYY lower on the food chain. FACT she needs to stick to her own class).
You see mr. average Loser thinks Jessica Alba being with him is a reflextion of his coolness and babe magnetism when honestly it is a reflection of Jessica being a nice non superficial, non- gold digging girlie, who probably doesn't have enough self esteem.

It's a clsssic story, as old as time.
Cash, you will soon know the pain of the one who got away. Now I don't realy enjoy Alba or give a fuck about her but Cash is the loser and he will never do better. Not because she's phenomenal but, because he is NOT.

# 11, couldn't agree more! Sure she might be pretty but I bet she's a little ice bitch in a relationship!

#68

Sorry to disappoint you, but I've seen many guys, hot and not, successful and not, simply dumped their hot girlfriends because they are too boring or dumb to spend the rest of their lives with. These guys are smart enough to know that once the girl ages, they're just going to smack themselves for being stuck with someone boring AND ugly. Why do you suppose a lot of most eligible bachelors ended up marrying women that are not so hot? They usually fucked enough hot women in their days, but only settle with the interesting ones later.

Hot but boring women are only good for fucking and Cash is smart enough to realize that. I doubt he'll be miserable losing her because he had accomplished his goal to have fucked her.

The only mistake Cash made was not to realize that he could be getting spousal and child support from Alba, like KFed.

Jessica, I'll marry you under one condition - sex every night of the year. We'll just put a towel between you and the mattress during "that time of the month". Or we'll confine our activities to the shower.

What a hottie!

yeah, this story is HIGHLY believable. what a joke. There is no precedent for a no talent, broke leech glomming onto a rich BF/GF as soon as possible. I'm surprised he wasn't proposing marriage 3 times a day trying to lock her up.

http://www.sithomeandrot.com

#70. What you are forgetting is that this guy is NOT eligible. He has nothing going for him except that he once had a woman many others wanted (wether you like her or not, she IS desired).

All he is gonna end up with is those nasty wannabes who were told once"hey you kinda look like Jessica Alba" . In true lame wannabe girl fashion they'll try to get with Alba left overs. Hence Cash will get mediocre nasties who say" hey do I look like Jessica when I smile like this" and then he'll blow his brains out. I mean look at the guy, who says he's not the boring one or maybe they both are.

I do not advocate the worshipping of this woman but I am not gonna give this stoodge any credit. He will not do well, trust me. What you say is true for many elegible men BUT again the douchy dorkenheimer is NOT eligible.

But I hope what you say is true for the likes of Brad Shitt (who never really had a lot of hotties but whatevs) except that when he dumps Angie he and his little hamster penis settle down with a nice blender or chainsaw.

In Conclusion I disagree but, you are entitled to your opinion. Luckily I don't know these people so of course I may be way off. But then again I am a genius so I'm going with my giant brain on this one.

LAST SUCKERS!!!

This is a total publicist bullshit story. Sure he didn't want to marry her. Watch she'll suddenly hook up with someone "new".

last loser.

Sure she did. Sounds to me like the spin machine in overdrive once they realised there was a perception that she could be seen as callous or indifferent. Maybe she is. That's nothing to be ashamed of. When I eventually get round to fucking her, she'll see that the good way.

I would have said yes!

# 20 Do you ever leave the house - apartment - cave at anytime?
Do you spend hours or days contemplating your next attempt at comedy skits.
Have you ever considered getting a day job?
The curious really do not care but I'm sure we will here it any way.

I bet she smells like a bean burrito with extra sour cream.

Who cares..she's so damn boring.

yoz y'all, i c ur psygology thingz bout celeb is wut u dumbos luv eh? get a clue yo, they trickin u 2 suck u in2 a lifestlye that contributs to their business success. wat is the meanin of fame ppl n how'z zit spread? think bout it.. u guys dont realise u aint real.. fuck yo momma n papa.. go drink some donkey period blood coz tat probably taste betta than ur momma is pretty.. go dream u cud b like 1 of em celebs.. betcha its ur life dream like a damn american idol wannabe, hahahaz u sad yo.. shallow lil fucks who either dream of tat, or pretend not to, or hav sum social obligation to show off, or fuckin envy n jealous of em celebs.. fuck y'all tat r like this.. in 50 years, when ur old, hopefully u'll realise how u wasted time on this shit, pity wit ya old n saggy tits nobody but you iz gonna suck em tits dry.. fuck ya elephant teste lookin celeb wannabes.. fuckin drones to the master leader wit no originality..

example of drone:

(insert critical comment 2 last poster who defies my ego n social status in this mini-universe which i am king)

next insert
(typical cliche comment come-back) OR
(a deeper analysis wat a cock suckin poser n wannabe i am to know this shit)

finally conclusion:
me wrong, you right

hey fucks, just remove the steps in between wats the diff? you dun prove shit anyway!! fuckin get a betta hobby biatches, like knittin or plant shit

HAHAHA FUCKING COCK SUCKING BRADY BUNCH CELEB WANKERS AHHAHAA YOU DONT REALISE UR DA LAUGHING STOCK OF THE FUTURE

he broke up with her because she's a religious prude

I hate this overrated alien with a Frankenstein fivehead. Cash honey, your better off without her. She likes the black meat anyway. Cash is only half black.

http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2006/02/17/snoop-dogg-had-sex-with-jessica-alba-damn-him/

"I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don’t think a girl’s a slut if she enjoys sex. I would have a one-night stand, and I’m not the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, Do you really have to be here? I don’t need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don’t try to make it more. " [Cosmo - Check this earlier post]

So, what you are saying is that you are a slut and the blind item about 50
getting blown by you in Europe is true? OMG. Just shut up already.

ok - i know no one will believe this as i would not have til i saw it in person...but we ran into them both in napa (they were 5 feet away) last year...and she looked OK at best, with a few huge zits, on her face. and i was floored as i always thought he seemed average from pics, but thought he was the HOT one in person. the 3 guys with me went right up to her to check her out as they always drooled over her and thought that day, in person, she was average at best. I KNOW - i agree she always looks hot in pics, mags, movies, etc. Just relaying my personal experience.

Cash: I'll pass.

She comes off real-cold to me, despite her beauty. There are plenty of guys who walk away from sexy-looking bitches - remember, Salma Hayek got dumped, too, once - because deep down the girl just isn't nice. That quote from #85 says it all...

I don't get what the fight about her denying her heritage is about. She says she's not a latina and she isn't! Just because one member of her family is from latin hertage DOES NOT mean SHE is! That's not what it takes to be from a certain place!! She didn't grow up in a latin country, she doesn't know anything about their lifestyle or traditions, so I don't see what the heck makes her a latina! NOTHING!

PS: SHE IS HOT!

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