May 22 2007Paris Hilton forgets bra, finds Jebus

She left Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See? in Starbucks.

Love how the titles are oh-so-perfectly aimed at the camera. Also, if you want to impress the judge, don't dress like a BET video girl.

hahaha...second post... shes ugly

So lame. She's trying to cover up and seem all goodie goodie and as if she's a better person because she's going to jail. Jebus, man. She'd seem like a better person if she walked around with a sign around her neck saying "I', gonna off myself". Because a dead Paris is a good Paris.

What a tumbling idiot.
Btw, hilarious headline, Fish!

Does she think she's fooling anyone?

hahaha! She can't read!!! But she looks like she just got done offering passengers peanuts on JesusAir.

I don't see how she even managed to touch a bible without being burned...Maybe she is used to the burning from when she goes to the bathroom so its just no big deal.

Poor bible. =(

You're not sorry and I'm not an admiral.

Poor little Paris looks so down trodden. I love that adopted pity me pout.

I hope her "people" are shitting themselves right now, seeing how she's made herself into the laughing-stock again! Every celebrity web site is making fun of her today!

why don't you think it's me, veggi?

Jesus: "I forgive you, my child."

Paris: "That's hot."

just didn't have your regular ring to it... you been smokin' the gigglebush?

#12 - "again" ... ?

When was Paris Hilton not a laughingstock? I don't remember any kind of hiatus.

even the most bible thumping bible thumpers I know don't walk around with a bible PLUS a self-help book.
Oh, and a note to Paris: osmosis doesn't work with books. You might try the audiobook, but that might have too many big words and no one could tell you are carrying it around.

.
She totally stole that Bible out of a Hilton Hotel.

i hope this has an impact on her... ha who am i kidding? she is probably just using it for toilet paper

Please chain that fecking idiot in a basement. What beastly breasts. *pukes*

Eww, she got herpes on that bible.

I bet the bible is hollowed out with a nice little hiding place inside....

Also, why wear shoes if you do not have feet.....

VOTE YODA
www.voteyoda.com

It's just too hilarious to me that the front covers are facing the cameras! so freaking obvious!! the only website not making fun of her is that idiot Perez Hilton, go figure!

Wait, Paris Hilton can read?!

Veggi you are a twatwaffle and Schack sucks the jiz from your twatwaffle as she is mounted from behind by her dog.

So mind your own business twatwaffle!!!

Suck it schacky green. What, you can't think of your own words? Fucking rediculous attempt assmunch.

Her favorite verse is Proverbs 11:22.

"As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion."

Veggi show me that twatwaffle of yours and I will suck it. And when did you become the proud owner of the word twatwaffle assmunch?

Veggi show me that twatwaffle of yours and I will suck it. And when did you become the proud owner of the word twatwaffle assmunch?

Religion won't save Paris. She's just doing this as a PR stunt to repair the negative view the public has about her. She is a scam artist and one can only hope the putzeratti will stop following her and stop taking her picture.

Her favorite Bible story book character is the "Whore of Babylon" in Revelations.

i have been smoking the giggle bush, veg.

and schacky green, go find your peen, and then consider hacking it.

UGH..... she is getting too skinny, look at her arms !!!!

Religion won't save Paris. She's just doing this as a PR stunt to repair the negative view the public has about her. She is a scam artist and one can only hope the putzeratti will stop following her and stop taking her picture.

Surprised she isn't melting into a pool of goo from the Bible in her arms.

She probably just stole it from one of the Hilton hotels thinking the cover was pretty and would go with her outfit.

Giggle bush? is that code for veggie's ass hair. We all know you love to lick ass. Can't you say the word penis, dick, or cock. You have had your dogs up your ass enough times it should be like saying hello

If I were her I'd get some how-to books on:

Surviving repeated fistings

Pleasuring large black women

The healing power of crying

Dealing with Aids

i heart twatwaffles. i prefer syrup.

you know, schacky, you should read dan savage. maybe that will serve as a model to you for how to discharge you will-to-curse in an orchestrated way that makes you sound ballsy and powerful, instead of evoking images of an infant vomitting diarrhea out of its mouth.

and what's wrong with a little, bestiality, PEENER? maybe my libido just knows no limits.

#38. HAH. ha.

veggi- schacky green is jimbo- he's still bitter that a girl with no boobs stood him up, at the hard rock café of all places, and no less, to fuck the shit out of a gorgeous, young buck.

Fishstick ask nicely, I am sure Schack and Veggie would be willing to share their twatwaffles with you. They have a lot to give. Just make sure you strap a board to your ass so you don't get sucked all the way in.

Mr. Green, you sound like you have a lot of pent-up anger. Did the hooker not rub it out fast enough for you sweety?

Schack or should I just call you twatwaffle #2. your labido may have no limits, but men do and they stop when they get to you

so you would rather fuck a dog, is what you're saying?

um, okay. have at it. make sure it's, um, emptied itself beforehand.

#14 & 18 - LMFAO!

#42 - Jimbo knows how to spell "libido" doesn't he? Jimbo always seemed pretty intelligent. If he's transformed into a troll, I hope he stops being bitter soon & gets back to being funny.

Schanky Green - you've worn out my word faster than Houston setting the world's gang bang record. I have rights on the word "twatwaffle" on this site since its original owner no longer posts here. The way I see it, you owe me $100 in royalties. Pay up.

Did I scare everyone off with my uncontrollable flatulence? dammit.

Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle
Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle Twatwaffle

Here is $200.00 Are we even?

poser

jimbo has been known to make spelling errors

can she read?????

I know when I try to find Jebus, I go braless.

Looks like her mummy forgot to dress her this morning before she went out so she had to do it herself. Poor thing.

How can boobs that small actually NEED a bra? Paris defies (or defiles, however you choose to look at it) nature yet again...

well, at least these pictures answered our question of: implants or super bra?

and the answer is...AMAZING BRA, stuffed with angry letters from Lohan!

AWESOME!

I'd still bust a nut into her wonky eye. Her small breasts and hard nipples look great.

Paris my child, I command you to do some fucking sit ups and cut back on the Frappacinno's and beer, that belly pooch is making me throw up on Moses here...

Stupid Paris.

You're not supposed to find religion until AFTER you're in the slammer.

I'm surprised the bible didn't burst into flames.

60 lol (well, not really OL, but...)

I, too, found Jebus some years ago and am delighted Paris is joining us.

Schacky Green = Jimbo. Here's why:

53. Posted by Jimbo ∞ on May 10, 2007 1:31 PM

I am perving for you Mrs T

54. Posted by mrs.t on May 10, 2007 1:35 PM

Well then, keep on pervin! Have a great evening. I am leaving to (of course) play outside with my kids now that the big ones are home.

55. Posted by Jimbo ∞ on May 10, 2007 1:36 PM

Have fun with the kiddies

56. Posted by schack on May 10, 2007 1:37 PM

jim, i read an article today about the discovery of a neurochemical that induces feelings of intense sexual attraction in women. you appear to have the antidote.

57. Posted by Jimbo ∞ on May 10, 2007 1:41 PM

Schack go suck the jiz out of your flappy cunt and then call your dog back in to fuck you like he did this morning

To make things better, they gave this stupid whore a Panic Button to wear in jail in case she gets scared by an inmate... No shit... A fucking alarm to call the guards... This is getting absolutely fucking ridiculous... You Californians should revolt... Good god what a piece of shit the DA must be...

um 63- you should investigate me, too.

i'm not 56.

That's clearly a gideon bible stolen from a hotel. The herpes whore is a whore.

What a jackass...her purse is definitely big enough to hold both those books.

@67 You dumbshit, I want everyone to see that I am carrying around a bible and a self help book even though I can't read. It looks good to the DA and maybe I will get more time off for good behavior

Whoa, whoa, WHOA!!!! I request to be left out of the troll-hunt. My two cents: SchackyGreen is not Jimbo. The spelling errors are too plentiful. As always, I think the troll is lamebananas. Same stupid jokes, same spelling/grammatical errors, same stench of failure and crotch rot. It also has a nasty habit of 'borrowing' phrases from other posts.

what DO stars carry in those huge purses?

She should have bought a "GED for Dummies" Book. At 26 she should have half a brain by now, and not be so narcissistic. Also, what's with the ugly dress. It looks like a Hefty garbage bag.

Celebrities are so fucking stupid! It's so obvious that she is carrying those books just to try to prove to the world that she is going to change!
Paris your a fucking idiot and nobody cares!
And is it true that her sentence has now been reduced to 13days?

What's next? A trip to the harmonica store?

Paris is beautiful, and accessorized to perfection! I'm not surprised people here are wondering about her bag - it's not available at Walmart.

Isn't that obvious,when people's life turn into a crisis they become religious?

H#74 ha ha ha ha......you are joking right??

What a moron. I love how she makes a point of taking the books out of the bag when she gets out of the car so EVERYONE CAN SEE what a holy saint she is. You're not fooling anyone you braless whore.

poor little missle boobie....chihuahua sucked the teet off that thing

Hey, look how far Bush got by being a Jesus freak! All Paris has to do is move America and take up residence somewhere in the South. They eat this shit up like obedient, well-trained monkeys.

I hope the judge is going to twist that nipple good.If he doesn't then he could be a paedophile.

porn star with saggy titties

I just hope they guards come running when they hear the Paris Alarm and find her with some big bull dyke sodomizing her with the remote... Please god...

You can't exactly read the bible by yourself without somebody explaining it to you. You have to go to sunday school or something or else you might as well be carrying around a differential equations textbook. That Bible is just for show.

why does she need to carry around the books when she has a big ass bag she can put it in???

This is as believeable as Lohan's 90 day sober badge. Does she thinks she gets into heaven with her VIP status?

Get your "Shank Paris" T-shirt today!

http://www.cafepress.com/philthytees/3021784

@#74 Only one of Paris' equally dull, spoiled, and useless friends would post a comment like that.

No way. She reads?

I think it's hilarious that people like Lindsay and Paris actually think we believe they are religious. We know the truth - that they are not creatures of G-d but of Satan.

Besides, who would believe they READ, let alone the Bible?

Judging from the sequence of the pictures, she took those books back to the bookstore and traded them in (along with her hat) for Green Eggs and Ham and Horton Hears a Who. Gotta have something to do in the joint.

I won't be able to look at bananas for a while.

that Bible came from a waiting room in a hospital or from a hotel, and was put there by a group of missionaries called the Gideons (mostly senior citizens). My dad's a Gideon, and he says that the colors of those Bibles have significance, and that's where the gold ones are placed. In other words, she didn't buy it.

After my last drink driving offence in which I injured an old man and a puppy, I carried around a bible and the judge said now I didn't have to go to prison. Paris must have heard.

Thank the Lord Paris Hilton has found SALVATION!

Well - I guess there's no question about a boob job anymore! :)
#57 - too f*cking funny!!!

Cuntbag.

where is her breast? what are those mosquito bites? fuck paris! Dancing with the stars suck! My girl Laila Ali, just got eliminated! Fans, and Judges.....YOU SUCK!

The fetid, malodorous shade of Jerry Falwell has just possessed a superlative host. Egggg-cellent! (makes hand pyramid)

the only thing that would make this better is if they were upside down (books).

Isn't her skin supposed to sizzle once it comes in contact with anything Holy or did Photoshop take care of all that?

LMAO!!! Does she not know how obvious she is displaying them? She's even seperated them so you can see the titles. :-D

WAIT...maybe Jebus IS trying to tell us something... the only letters visible on the Bible form the slang "Ho" and "Bi"

SHE CAN READ!!!?!

I love how in almost every pic the book covers are facing the camera....More staged than her shit in the Simple Life....I'd love her to get put into gen pop and be gang raped by some angry 400 lb lesbians.

ew she looks as though she's had a masectomy in the first pic...

what a trollop.
and a pox on the judge who decided that she gets to hang out in a 'prison cottage' instead of a real jail, and for halving her sentence.
what a trollop/slapper

R-E-T-A-R-D!!!!! Is that gaudy 4 leaf clover pendant for good luck? Isn't that sacreligious against the bible she's holding? Where is her "magic bra" now?

sometimes you try too hard to be witty

So when I die I get to stay in the house behind pearly gates?

That's hot.

She can't help being a "DeeDeeDee"

Funny how she's too dumb to pick one of the many cult fads that have celebrity backing. If she was reading the Secret, then Oprah and Shannon Elizabeth would be shouting, "Free Paris!" If she was reading the Caballa, Madonna would sneak water into her cell. If she was getting into Scientology, Cruise and Travolta would visit her cell every day. I'm southern baptist so I believe it is possible for Paris, but I wish she picked Islam. That would be funniest to watch.

@111...brainwashing usually requires that the subject have a brain or reasonable facsimile thereof, alas, Paris is unbrainwashable.

Does this dumb whore think we are stupid, see her with a bible and think she can read? Sheesh this is one thick bitch.

Pic #4 has some really funky shit going on. Lots of wrongness there. So who stood up Jimbo? Frist?

The Power of Lingerie.

Help me Jebus! Sanctuary!!!!!!

LOL, Le Herp is such a joke, we all know she can't read.

Wow, let's hope that helps here get through those harsh 23 days in prison- I can just see her reading Adam and Eve now -"That's hot."

BTW - because i read this site and another one everday, I just thought I'd share this site that makes fun of regular schmucks - www.yourstupidface.com

They'll even post your picture and make fun of you, you know, if you're in to that kind of thing.

aren't thoze pilotz glazzez?

Pariz, pleaze put down the Bible.
Jezuz died for uz, not for the
demonz of the world.........

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

#94 - Welcome back, Edna!! You'll have a blast here now that most of the folks who remember what a douchebag you are have left the site.

BTW - she didn't find Salvation, she found a Bible. In order to find salvation, she has to actually read it and not just carry it around.

One more thing, is stealing a Bible from a hotel or doctor's office a sin, Edna?

#120 You are REPORTED! I REPORTED all the others who used to post disgusting comments on this website and now I am sure they are all enjoying reading their Korans in Club Gitmo.

Hey Edna report this.

And close your legs I can smell that nasty tuna all the way in Canada.

Am I the only one who thinks Paris looks like Cousin Oliver in the top photo?

paris, as believable as this whole situation is, you probably shouldn't be carrying around a purse that is plenty large enough to hold both of your spiritual readings.

paris, as believable as this situation is, you probably shouldn't have carried around a bag that is large enough to hold your spiritual readings. what a sham.

Shouldn't her hands be on fire or covered in blood? Shouldn't those books be melting into her chest and why am I not hearing the sound of bacon cooking and sizzling in a fryingpan? Why isn't she burning down to ashes or crying I'm melting, melting? I mean she is the anti-christ? No?

Hmmmm, me thinks she must be more powerful then I thought. My plans to exterminate her will have to be altered.

#18. LOL!

Is this her attempt at looking like a good girl? A dress that covers her ass, in a subtle colour, no push up bra (ie; showing her pre-pubescent chicken cutlets) and holding religious reading material.

This girl is too stupid for words. We all know she can only read picture books so why is she trying to fool us? The books have probably been hollowed a la Shawshank Redemption, and inside she's really carrying her vaginal wart creme.
If she's really doing the religious thing why isn't she wearing her sunday's best, her regular church outfit; a tube top and crotchless panties stained with minister and choir boy spoogy.

#121 - REPORTED TO WHOM, EDNIE?
Did you call someone up and say "Hey, wedgeone is being vulgar and I want you to ... {click} ... Hello? HEL-LOOOO??!?

The reason the others aren't here isn't because they were Islamic terrorists (you don't even know where "Gitmo" is, do you?). It's because they were trolled into leaving. Unless you're the troll, you had nothing to do with it.

Like anyone will be able to find anyone's real identity and where to find anyone based upon the nickname & fake E-Mail addresses we all use. You really are a douche - only you're a used douche, not a fresh one.

Put on your Ben Stein voice and recall this Ferris Bueller classic:
"The biggest douche in the world is ... anyone ... anyone ... anyone ... Edna Bambrick"

hey babe...

...we'll see you
...on the other side

it wont be pleasant
but it could be...

...cathartic

[look it up]

lol babe : )

you'll be ok )

...eventually )

...soon : ))

Do trannies goes in heaven? I don't think so..I guess that she even doesn't know what the Holy Bible is...a catalague maybe. She's no more than a fuckin' whore and she have to go to jail forever just because she's herself. She's so fake, she can play the "nice girl" if she wants with her fake Bible...We're not stupid we know she does that not to go to jail but SHE WILL!

The Power of Now is a great book.

You should read it, too! :-)

What does wearing (or not wearing) a bra have to do with religious conviction? Nothing at all. For thousands of years, women of all religions went without bras. The bra was only invented about 100 years ago. Even today, hundreds of millions of women do not wear bras. Many women are simply more comfortable without the unnatural stresses that the bra puts on the shoulders and back. Perhaps some of you who associate braless women with sex should educate yourselves some.

http://www.goingbraless.net/

Maybe some of you should join the site and read the forums to educate yourselves.

Nice work Keep it UP!!!!!!

The way i look at it is paris will be in her own little personal part in jail(if she goes)and the little so called princess will live in heaven like conditions so weather or not she advertizes her bible or not it does not matter she is a spoiled little B@$ch and everything in her little world is a damn photo shoot (grow te hell up paris and maybe someone will take you serious and baby you need to find god or something)

OMG! That's sad when you only become religious when it's convinient!!!!LMFAO!!

dude not only are her boobs ugly but i hope u have it hard n jail.. n think its very unfair that u wont have to spend the whole 45 days in jail n i don even think that is enough..u know if u werent who u were then would get treated like eveyone else.... poor rich girl, never worked a fucking day n ur life u wouldnt make it n the real world sweetie... watch out for the broom sticks lol

hhahaha.
pleaaase paris.
dontt stopp.

Ok, I don't like her. But what is wrong with not wearing the bra? I like that.

I Hope that paris hilton learns a lesson before some gets hurts. what if she would have killed someone would she be another O.J? she is just a spoiled brat and the only thing that she is good at is spending daddy's money and making racial remarks againgst others. I hope that she does find GOD before someones fist finds her?

good