Apr 23 2007Jaime Pressly says sexy things

first?

I will be the last!

I'd still hit that! I hear it's better with a prego.

I would hit that like I was Crabman.

I'm Robert Goulet, and instead of gossiping i want you to sleeeeeeeppppppp...come get one of my new boars. gouletbars.com gouletbars.com gouletbars.com
-Roberrrrrr Gouleeeet

Here come 50 comments confirming the mommy fetish thing. This one even lactates!

But enough with the "I'd hit it" - the only thing you'll hit is the sticky bottle of hand lotion, while slumming pants-down with some BET music videos.

God, I never want to be pregnant. Yuck.

not that she looks bad, cause she doesn't. I just wouldn't want a living thing in my belly kicking me.....

Veggi, as long as you keep fit during pregnancy, you'll get your body back after the baby is born. Oh yeah, and you got to do those kegels religiously.

Oh, ok, I see your second comment. I always thought it was kind of cool to feel the baby moving around. Except when they kick you hard in the ribs or right on the cervix.

mmmmmm...religious kegels....

"God, I never want to be pregnant. Yuck."

I looooooooove when chicks say that. It means only one thing - ATM is definitely on the menu.

I'm doing them right now ;P

It just creeps me out... and I love the kegel exercises.... very important!!

Got Milk!!!

#6- Thank you for your addition to the Superficial rantings.

I would hit you in the face with my closed fist.

DAMN!!! I am moving to that village

12- huh?

@12 from what you said on the other post, I hope you don't either. But if you do, make sure you teach it to play the Banjo

@14 Hubby says it feels like I'm cutting off his blood circulation, maybe I do them too often, lol.

Feed a village? More like choke them.

@20 - my boy-toy loves them! it also helps to "speed things along" if hes too ambitious and i need to get to sleep. ;)

this untalented piece of shit is starting to look like those lizard-people in those conspiracy horror movies

no one needs to hit "it"
it's already been hit by the cross-species ugly-stick

fuck off useless bitch
we already have Tamsin Egerton, who the fuck needs you

Al Gore speeches on global warming?
can't wait until this shitty day is over, i'll have a drink to that

and lactating chick's milk is too sour anyway, it ain't like you can have a piece of apple pie with it

I feel sick...

I think she's got a pretty good sense of humor about herself, which is a rare and attractive quality in a celebrity!

@21 - I just checked out your web site and I am sure you will be the last person taking a drink from that village. They have a differnt kind of village for you

24 - got some prozac in my purse if you're interested...

FRIST - I will come make you some chicken soup and tuck you into bed.

Will someone tell me what the fuck ATM means????

prozac first, then chicken soup.

Veggi - it is that place that you put in your credit card into, punch in a few numbers and out pops money.

I think it means "Ass to Mouth, " as in, dick in her ass, then dick in her mouth. ew.

Alien Nation
James Caan

now i fucking remember

#6 - luckily for me the blow will be cushioned by your limp wrist.

who gives a fukk about some minor big-boobed celeb du jour?

Let's talk about how scumbag Joe francis is suffering from anxiety attacks inside his crummy jail cell, and his cell 'mate' named Robert!! oh, wait, i have to go to TMZ for that....

very funny Jimbo....

But I mena in reference to #12.

She looks damn good for being knocked up.

oh, and #2? Your screen name is utterly tasteless.

@32 - I thought that was a dirty Sanchez? At least that is what it is called in So Cal

ATM.. Automatic Teller Machine ??? $$$$$$

I already have a crapload of prozac...I need something stronger.
I also was wondering WTC atm meant...ass to mouth...how special.
Yes it's going to be a special day. Somebody shoot me. Where's that Cho guy when you need him, oh yeah...

"I think it means" lmao! Nice try at hiding extensive porno knowledge!

#32 #29 A2M is another better "spelling", ATM looks like you're going to go fuck someone in a bank (right #31!)

in this bitch's case it would be A2IDP, ass-to-inter-dimensional-portal
look at the size of that fucking piehole
she used to at least be yoga-pilates-fit
now she's just fucking creepy lookin

Dirty Sanchez is when you stick your finger in her ass and then give her a poo mustache.

Ok, I'm ready for that chicken soup and prozac too. For the love of everything pretty, THAT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING.

41 - im trying to be a fucking lady OK?!?!?
I have no idea what you mean.

got some xanex at the house.....

#38 D.Sanchez would be more like F2L, finger-to-lip?

it would also be completely hilarious, at least by its description
i haven't had the pleasure (or whatever) of doing one though, anyone out there done one yet?

I just read that in her "My Name Is Earl" voice... damn sexy that little critter is... I wonder if pappy been poking the little tykes skull???

I also have xanax. I'm thinking heroin might do the trick. I've never tried it, but I've heard good things...

WHY COULDNT THIS CHEAP WORTHLESS SLUT KEEP HER LEGS SHUT??? FUCKING NASTY WHORE DOESNT REALISE THE POPULATION OF THIS STINKING PLANET IS TOO MUCH.

#34- I'm rubber and you're glue. Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

Sign me up for the milk rations.

And by the way WEDGEONE, I hope that next time your boyfriend fucks you in the ass, he pulls out just in time to unload in your mouth. Then you two can play for hours pouring it back into eachother. And wipe that dirty sanchez off your hairlip. You're repulsive.

No preggo fetish, but she'd one damn fine looking pregnant woman. Hopefully the boobs don't deflate like last weeks birthday balloon when the helium leaks out.

Heroin's a little too "needley" for my tastes, but let me know how it works out.

#37 - dude, have a sense of humor already! In honor of Ms. Pressly's condition, please enjoy one of my favorite jokes:

One day a woman, pregnant with triplets, was walking down a road when a bank robbery was happening. Just as she was going passed the bank, she was shot three times in the stomach. She was rushed to hospital and they managed to save the lives of her children (two girl sand a boy) and hers. Fourteen years later, one of her daughters came running out of the bathroom and screamed to her mother, she said, "Mom, I've just had a period and a bullet came out."

So her mother sat her down and explained what happened.

A couple of days later her second daughter came running out the bathroom again screaming that she too had a period and a bullet came out. So again, she explained the story.

Finally, a few days later, her only son comes running out of the bathroom.

The mother says, "Let me guess. You've had a crap and found a bullet in the toilet."

"No," shouts the boy, "I've just wacked off and shot the dog."

#5

LMFAO + WTF ?!?!?!?!?!?

i know that R.Goulet & involuntarily falling asleep are intimately interrelated

but selling a candy bar about it

TJTFF

Needles don't scare me, but I thought you could snort it anyway???
Doesn't matter, I have no "connections" although.....I work at a law firm, we represent criminals....
Eh, forget it, I'll have a double martini and a small handful of xanax when I get home. Whatever makes me pass out the fastest so I can end this miserable day...

mmm....martini. tonight im bound by the need to escape this hellish job by furthuring my education to write a 15 page paper on the Arab/Israeli Conflict. Please throw an extra shot of vodka in for me.

Jaime is the second thinnest pregnant woman ever, after Angelina "Gorgeous Arms" Jolie ...

I saw her high at Club Six in Scottsdale one time. It was cool.

sure she looks good when this photo was taken 2 months ago. let's see her now! then again, i'm convinced that celebrities who say they look fat know they aren't, they just want their egos massaged.

#53 that's called snowballing, who knows why

Fishstick probably does...

She needed to put on some fucking weight.

Hey 56 - Nice sign on name, really. I can see you put a lot of thought into that one because it's so fucking original and not cliche in the LEAST.

This may be a celebrity slamming site and most people say things that are off the wall and inappropriate, but you're taking it to a whole new level of douchebag.

59, for you (well mostly me) I will throw in two.

@53 Veggi - it is not Wedgeone boyfriend that is getting the back door action, it is Daddy. Check the Jennifer Tilly post, she goes into great detail about her "chocowinkie"

@64 - actually i do....

#66 - got some pump-action waitin' for you, sweetie...

I'm pretty sure the only pump action you've got going on are with your fist and a moist towel.

Nice! I like a girl who barks commands. Now bend over.

Is Jaime Pressly related to Elvis?

THAT FAT BITCH NEEDS TO BE FED TO THE CROCODILES.

#74 look at that mouth of hers - she would eat the croc's, they wouldn't stand a chance
btw is your caps-lock key broken

#73 hard to tell though it's obvious her parents don't remember how to spell their own surname, wtf is "pressly" that's like naming some fuckin guy stenly jhnsen or some shit - what refuse-de-blanche

@74 -- Liverpool Fat Chick? Turn down the volume on your fucking keyboard.

Veggi... The idea of being pregnant used to creep me out too, in an "alien bursting forth from chest" kind of parasitic, something-inside-me way.
Then I grew up and stopped thinking like a little self absorbed awkward teenager.

FEED THE FATTY SLUT TO THE CROCODILES.

#68 - Pretty funny stuff there, Jimbo. I never thought that my troll could be a chick.
Hmmm - DamYell's been a regular on this site until recently .... could DamYell have possibly come up with the word
"chocowinkie"? Naaaaah.

#12 - Your days are numbered, Wally (or Wallette).

That's one thin-ass neck...

That's one thin-ass neck...

Eww. She's sporting a serious ET neck.

Mmmmm I want 2 giant, doughy, thick pancakes and 2 huge, plump, juicy, red stwaberries. Yum.

Anyway enough about my midnight trip to Denny's ... this chick is gross and fat. I see that gravity still has a remarkable affect on human lard. She's got that wonderful flesh sac filled with pudding mother to be bloated look. I love how pregnancy shows us which girls AREN'T naturally skinny. Sarah Jessica Parker is nasty but she stayed slim during her preggo days cause she's not a closet fatty, or maybe it's because she's a witch with magical powers (well that's what her nose told me).
The point is this girl is tubbo and if she had stayed in the trailer park instead of fornicating her way to a little small screen gig (she used to be a porn star)she would have looked like this even without a baby on the way.

On a final note give this girl a BRA. But not the Paris Hilton bra because that would be dangerous. And that dress is a hideous color.

Can you still breast feed if you've had implants?

Don't look like this chick had implants,gross , the thought of breast-feeding with implants.. Jamie is so damn cute, she'll probably be one of those chicks who take their size0 jeans to the hospital and actually wear them home with the baby.. she's hotttttttttttttttttt.

She may not be the classiest lady, but why exactly is she supposed to be talking sexy, anyway? She's pregnant, not walking onto Cosmo magazine.
What's creepier is how many chicks are trying to prove to everyone here that they do Kegels. I don't know you, don't know if you're hot, and don't want to know about your vagina squeezing.

I love those huge pregger tits

This chick is so fine, can't wait to see that baby...

77, is it unnatural for a woman to not want to have a baby? who are you, the fetus police?

Mam-a Mia!

hee hee well said #89!!!!!!! #77 Has obviously never heard of Dinks.

Too bad she ain't bi....sure she'd be aot of fun....

@92 -- Pregnant women have standards. Well obviously not your mom, but most do.

u don't know a fffffffffff'nnnnnnnnn thing about standards, so shut the fuck up....

I know English standards, such as 'u' is the 19th letter and not a stand alone word. I also know it's wrong to lie about your age and gender.

Dear Jamie Pressley: Beware of "nurses" named Kelli...with an I.

You stupid idiots,, what,, I have to spell everything right..plowshit...u r a teacher at my freakin school aren't u? I thought so a while back, but I didn't say anything...wait until tomorrow at school,,I'll freakin find out who u r! assholes....always in the school.

#97 Yeah, just wait...when you DO throw those crayons, try to hit something besides the floor. And don't let your drool puddle get too big.

Not in kindigarden,asshole,HELLO,we don't have crayons in highschool.....butthead.

@99 -- C'mon, sir. Jail is hardly high school, even if you can get your GED there.

#99 Your "special" school doesn't allow them? Aw, all that's left for you is finger paints. Watch that drooling thing there, too.

#100 why would I be in jail? Quit calling me SIR, girls these days don't talk like prissy bitches...they talk like gangsta bitches....everybody a freakin gangsta....in school, and yea I highly doubt that prisoners get to use computers,asshole.

#102 Why, indeed? Why are 32 people in VT dead while you live? Yet here you are, posting and posting and posting and posting and saying...what, exactly?

The universe is full of enigmas like this.

LOOKS TO ME LIKE THE CHICKEN HAS ROOSTED HIS POSTS OVER AND OVER AND OVER , BUT WHAT R U REALLY SAYING? CALLING YOURSELF AN ENIGMA..SO GLAD U WISHED SOMEONE U DIDN'T EVEN KNOW TO DIE LIKE THE VT KIDS DID..U , MY FRIEND HAVE MANY PROBLEMS,,NOW HOW DO U FEEL ABOUT IT..ASSHOLE.

#104 Guess "coherent" wasn't on your "what I want to be when I grow up" list.

You must be from Jersey or New York..u sound just like those stupid bitches. Let me hear you taaaaaaaalllllllkkkkkk.....

#106 It's the internet, you fucking dribbling moron. You can't "hear" anyone "talk" - or are the voices in your head telling you otherwise?

You just answered my question, a-hole.

#108 "A-HOLE?"

That's the best the Pride of Florida has to offer??? That's all you got? "A-hole?"

Hang it up, you soft pathetic squishy turd, you're an abortion that lived.

UP YOUR ASS WITH A BLOWTORCH, BITCH,,,OH YEA,,YOUR ASS SUCKS BUTTERMILK...

#110 "Your ass sucks buttermilk"? THAT'S what passes for the ultimate smackdown in your "school" among seniors these days??

Stop now, because you're just embarassing yourself. And typing in caps doesn't make you a bad-ass, you silly little tweener.

@110 -- kelLIE, my good man, please get back on your meds, they're your only hope. And you would be the first one to shit on himself if you were confronted with real 'gangstas'. Just remember, smopking weed and listening to Petey Pablo does not a gangsta bitch make. I mean you have the illiteracy part down, and probably the jail time, but that's about it.

@111 -- chicken, have respect for your elders! kelLIE is just a confused mid-life crisis dude trying to get by. Geeeeez...

Didn't say I was gangsta, just said that's what everyone thinks they r at school,dickweed. Plowshit,u f'n wish I was a middle aged man,,damn u sure do want me to be a man....no luck here,,,can't imagine having a dick,,,,

woah!...those are huge!...wonder if she could reach pamela anderson's level...lol