Mar 27 2007Thora Birch has a creepy dad

Not FRIST!!!

i wish i had someone to have sex with.

OK - whoever has been begging for a Thora Birch post lately - I hope you're satisfied for a while.
Now, if only her face wasn't so scrunched together. It makes her head look completely swollen.

Two thumbs up for the rack though. As well as my member standing at attention over that rack!

Isn't this chick still in her late teens? I am pretty sure boobs shouldn't fall to the knees until you are at least Jessica Simpson's age. I imagine those boobies to sound like a flapping window shade once that bra comes off.
And I think i also smell backfat.

Does anyone else wish she would get some nice bras? I mean, PLEASE...please. When you're blessed with that kind of equipment and then you let it hang down to your bellybutton like a 90 year old grannie, *SOB* it's not right.
She could be lovely with the right system of pulleys and wires.

He's a hands on dad.

Her father and mother are ex-porn stars. I'm not sure if that makes it less creepy or more creepy.

This chick is 25 years old. What the hell is her dad still doing hanging around her sets? Obviously she likes having Daddy around while she does her thrusting. Grodey.

Her boobs may be big, but they're so big that they sag, and that's not sexy.

actually she is 25, so indeed if you are following the jessica simpson theory the timing is right...

all this girl really needs is a tanning bed, full coverage bra (make that new wardrobe entirely), a diet (an eating disorder rather) blonde hair and a heroine problem and then, only then will i be interested.

i'm with kk. why doesn't she just get someone to remove him? #6 haha

"if i ever see you walking hand in hand in hand with a three-armed man, i'll understand. but only if i SEE you. otherwise he's a gone-er"

Joe Simpson to Jessica:

Joe: See Sugarbutt -- all the other Daddy's are doing it.
Jessica: Well....I guess...okay.
Joe: That's a good little girl - now come over here and have a sit on Dad's lap.
Jessica: Aw Dad, it's all lumpy again!
Joe: I know Sugarbutt...I know.

Hands clenched from inner tension, her face belies the fact that she feels uneasy about returning home from the red carpet affair her father had insisted she attend. He’d demanded she wear the black Versace with the plunging neckline that he’d picked out especially for her 2 weeks ago, but the shame she felt when dad started cooing in her ear about “motorboating those massive jugs” was too much. Although, at this point in her life, she doesn’t know if she could live without that feeling...that feeling she has grown so used to these many years. Like a constant friend the shame always returns.

You people are morons. There is nothing better than large natural breasts. My biggest fear is that she's going to go Ricci on us and get a reduction. This girl has such a great body.

SID ? Where's sid?
(Humm...I hope his real name isn't Jack Birch)
(I agree with you about the banks sid)

#14, We're not so much morons as it is some of us have higher standards for excellence than others.

#14 -- Too late - I think she had a reduction several years ago.

I'm a idiot -- never mind.

Lucky her, she gets to dry hump with Dean Winters. Anyhoo....isn't she an adult yet? I think she's a little sick for letting him watch. They're both sick. The whole family is sick. Fuck 'em all

standards of excellence, my ass.

besides, she's just kind of chubby. if she lost 10 lbs, they would still be in the same proportion to her body, but they wouldn't sag as much.

so here's my thing about "bring your daddy to work day" it only works if your job doesn't involve you moaning, touching or being fondled in any way by absolutely anything or anyone...

I'm with Dad ... who wouldn't want to see those tig 'ol bitties ?

Wanna know what makes it even more creepy?

Jack Birch, Thora's father, was an adult film actor in the mid-late seventies. In fact, he met his wife, Carol, on the set of "Deep Throat".

See for yourself: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0083262/

And I thought Jessica Simpson had the creepiest dad.

But this movie sounds awesome, Thora Birch, Dean Winters, what a blockbu...wait, who are these people?

And why is she considered hot?

Anyways, based on #24's comments, if her dad was a former porn star then his behaviour isn't so creepy after all. I mean, sex is no big deal to him, and I guess he's technically an expert on shooting sex scenes so no wonder he wanted to be there to make sure it looked good. He might be a bit crazy, but not so much creepy.

That looks like an old picture of Thora when she gained weight for Ghost World. She looks more like this actually: http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/3217/Events/3217/ThoraBirch_Ausse_5223380_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Birch,%20Thora

She's totally wearing the wrong bra size. She needs to talk to Oprah.

That's even worse than your dad walking in on u and ur boyfriend in ur bedroom having sex...only he'd walk in and say "wait! that's not how you do it!" and he'd start displaying the "right way" on ur favorite teddy bear.

For a chick with such gorgeous fucking mams who cleans up remarkably well, this bitch dresses like shit.

@24 seriously? "Deep Throat"? please say it isn't so...wait, he just tried to control his daughter's sex life...i beleive it. but really? he did?

Her dad is sinking low. Way low. Like as low as his daughter's boobs low. Know what I mean?

Chubby or slim, saggy or perky, black or blonde... Her nipples remain the size of a DVD.
Friggin' grotesque if you ask me.

I'm just guessing here but maybe Jack Birch and Joe Simpson were roommates in college and sat up all night talking about having little girls and all the 'fun' they could have with them when they grew up. Probably had some side bets on whose daughter would have the biggest sweater panthers. I could be wrong, tho

#10, check her IMDb profile it's a lready happened.

She's lost a bunch of weight and they're not that big anymore. It's very rare to be super lean and toned and have big boobs that are REAL. And by super lean and toned I mean Jessica Alba lean and toned. And by big boobs I don't mean the miracle silicone stuffed bra's at victoria secret.

Zanyway her Daddy and Jessica Simpsons Daddy should start a celebrity hooters.

Those Dad's are sick but the girls should learn how to stand up to them. It's called being a grown up. I can't comprehend ADULTS whose parents run their lives when, it's sad and pathetic. Have some self respect. It's a right of passage to tell you parents to fuck off.

Although that might not be a good choice of words for these pervy Dad's.

From her recent pics, she obviously had facial reduction as well.

Chick with the mic behind her dropped her skirt...whoops!

HEY! if Anna Nicole's son can father her last child, why can't Birches daddy get his wood on? Besides, Hollywood is all about perversion. This stunt should get her a big place in the industry!

That's the best you could do Fish?? A pic from 2000? Jesus, what a rip-off. Glad I ain't payin for this shit! Sid's gonna be pissed too. He finally gets Thora and it's a 7 year old photo.

#34- she's not toned or lean on imdb. she's clearly just anorexic. and it looks like the massive weight loss has also caused some of her hair to fall out. she looks terrible. better to be a little chubby and radiant than skinny, dilapidated and tired.

#38 Exactly. That's why I specified that by toned I meant Jessica Alba. Perhaps I wrote a bit unclearly. People worship boobs and I was pointing out that they rarely come big on super hot bods. So if people love giant boobs, in most cases, they must accept chubbiness or silicone.

Birch clearly lost weight eating disorder style like you and #10 mentioned not through healthy exercise and less pie hole shoving, hence skinny fat (and duely noted hair loss) or as I call it a flesh bag stuffed with bones and porridge.

ewwwwww. i mean, you can turn a phrase, but ewwwwww.

Jack Birch said his daughter has been fighting a mysterious illness ever since puberty and that's why he has to check her core body temperature every day.

Ok, I need help here...I thought this was the chick who was at the beach w/o her top on and everyone was making fun of her little titties. I'm obviously confusing the two...so who was the small boobed one again?

She can dry hump me anytime. Big boobs that go straight out are just wrong. Gravity is good.

#4 - "And I think i also smell backfat."

Never sit at the computer with your back to the radiator.

42: lezbot Mena Suvari

44: Gross, but true.

Oh, Mena, that's right. Then what movies was she in? Thora was only in American Beauty and Ghost World. Was Mena in American Pie?

BIG Natural boobs are the best. I'm sure she can find a nice bra somewhere.

When she unleashes that rack, it'll flop down and sit on the top of her fat pasty white feet, nipple-down.

And beneath the tits is a film of pasty dead skin cells and sweat that NEVER GOES AWAY cuz it's always nasty sweaty under big saggy tits. GROSSSSSSSSS

I know this from doing mammos. Big tits are sweaty, sticky, and covered in disgusting stretchmarks. Don't even get me started on the areolas that're 6" in diameter with the huge droopy doorknob nipple. GROSSSSSSSS

#49 - you just put some horribly disgusting images in my head. Not at all pleasant!!!

I believe this is RICHPORT's area of expertise - I will await his judgement in this matter.

So Jack Birch and our friends Woody Harden and (former NASCAR driver) Dick Trickle were sitting around the other day, and I asked him what the deal was with him hanging around his daughter's sets during her sex scenes. He looked to the floor, the colour red started to rise in his cheeks and he cleared his throat and started,

"Well you see there's that actor Dean Winters she was shagging and he's just so cute and...."

At that precise moment a plane flew overhead, obscuring his next couple sentences but I could make out assorted words such as "ass" "pound" "browneye" and "lickalicious" he said. Harden and Trickle nodded their heads approvingly. I excused myself to go the washroom and on the way there I could hear something about circle jerks bandied about.

those are some of the saggiest boobs i've witnessed in awhile. i loved her in "now and then" but now i'm horrified!

Whoa those are low!

It's easy to have big tits when you're fat. Sorry but it's true.

I lost a lot of weight awhile back and went to like 113 pounds. I had no boobies.

I am now back to what I think is around 125 or 130 and have my boobs back.

I would personally just like to once again go back to 120 and buy new boobies.

Looking just so is not easy.

She's a pretty girl.

Oh and her Dad watching the sex scene is freaky as hell.

Wow, that IS fucked up. She needs to punch a hole in her dad's face.

uummm. ok. pull her off the set? isn't that chic like 25 or something around there? that is really weird for a dad to be doing. kinda makes you wonder. i really feel sorry for that girl.

The most disturbing thing I found out about the Birch family from IMDB is that there is a son, called BOLT.

Binky, WTF: Thanks for the notice.

JUST MY LUCK I get a Thora post and thanks to my old Mac's browser, I can't post most of the time.

O-o-o-hhhh yeahhhh

All of you bitching about fat, please get back to your pride parade...

....great big thighs on that girl when I was smitten by her in Ghost World...

Look at her face...she doesn't even have to try...those boobs hypnotize, and ony begin the mystery and majesty...

"Thora" is the feminine of "Thor," and "BOLT" is like a thunderbolt.

Oh yeah........

Oh....baby......yeah.....

Now this website has class

another proud graduate of the

Creepy Joe Simpson School of Freaky Fathers

suma cum laude

Why just ONE pic? WHY????

uncleernie04@yahoo.com

You can always tell who has flat chest amongst chicks - they are always the ones to lamant on how horrid big boobs are and how awful it is to look like a woman, instead of sporting a smooth chest with tiny man nipples ...

Thora Birch is creepy. Didn't your mothers wean you correctly?

thora is the result of 2 hardcore porn stars (her parents) so this all makes a whole lotta sense.

Think I'll have my skin re-tacked on when I'm in for that corneal replacement...

Doesn't anybody think its also strange/creepy that SHE lets him watch her make a sex scene??

If you were a 25 year old girl would you let you?

Shes probably just as fucked as him

ugh. yeah why didn't she refuse to let him on set

why is a fat goth with granny tits hot, and jessica simpson considered hideous on this site? i must be taking crazy pills.

I would think that someone who gives mammograms should be so scared of breasts, probably should get another job? Just a suggestion...

hello miss,may I look up you skirt?

You can always tell who has big, droopy, veiny granny tits among girls because they wig out the minute someone suggests that big boobs might not actually be that attractive...

Generalisations are not cool kids. Some people have preferences that don't include huge hooters.

Thora Birch was my first girlcrush, and I'd still bang her like a screen door.

She wanted her daddy to be in the room?
I think that family has issues, don't you?