Mar 14 2007Britney Spears has a new boyfriend

Greaseball alert...the dirtbag detection system is on alert...this is NOT a drill!!!

Wow. He's SOOO much better than K_Fed. Wonder how soon til the beatings and the "Cops" Episode airs?

Already skanking with a new man? WTF? Hasn't she been in rehab for like, a week?

I just checked out his site-- how fitting! J-Fed likes to write porn music... I can see it now!

Funny.. he talks all humanitarian and whatnot. Complete scumbag.

So, he's in deep, huh?

happy steak and blowjob day ;)

@2 You are on to something there, he sure looks like one who might give her the back of his hand for running her mouth or stepping out of line. hehehehe

I love how it says "I don't want kids" on his myspace

this girl can't go a day without some random stuggling wannabe's cock banging out her hole. of course they are already close and by "close" i mean they are barebacking.

check out his site. it's obvious why he's in rehab. if i were playing in a band for 15 years and all we could put out was lukewarm 90's grunge leftovers, I'd be shooting up Wild Irish Rose to give me the courage to face another day.

everything from Mozart to Slayer....
He said SLAYER!!

Clitney Smears just keeps picking the winners!

Lindsey Blohan will be dribbling his jiz from the corner of her mouth next, or maybe Smellery Muff??

Disney Whores make good weblog fodder, keep up the good work Eisner!

She's so vulnerable at the moment and that's the only reason this goober is gettin a piece of britney.
She's lonely and needs someone to bang - and obviously there's not many good looking folk in rehab or noone stupid enough to get caught up in her shit. Once she's out of rehab he will be kicked to the curb and she'll find someone else.
Maybe even a reconciliation with kfed??????

She calls him J-Sun

signs this guy is a destined to remain a loser:

1)his poser ass tries to list "aesop rock" as a musical influence but spells it "asob rock".

2)he has a video of an elderly lady getting kicked in the face by some dude. (but despite finding violence against women funny, i'm sure he'd never lay a hand on brit)

3) his corny ass band RIVA had to start its own label after 15 years because like KFED, no one wanted to hear his shit.

4)"Metal Princess" is on his top 8. People still listen to metal?

5)He's claiming to be "Native American" but everybody knows Indians don't go to rehab. Indians don't quit, they surrender.

This is a good get rich quick strategy. I wish I had thought of it first. Ahh, nevermind. I couldn't spend 5 minutes with this gum chomping hick. Has anyone else noticed those joker, joker, joker twins are ALWAYS carrying coffee cups larger than their heads?

@7 Not that I condone abuse but someone should've slapped the skank a long time ago.

Actually I think he looks quite handsome in those sunglasses and that lipstick. Hopefully he'll get Brit to shave off that facial hair though it doesn't suit her.

Amadeus just rolled over in his grave and vomitted.

And I thought we were rid of Britney for a good while...so wrong.

Yo J-Sun, milk it for all you can dude.

Come on, people! Britney Spears can't GET anything better than dirt. I'm starting to have some warming in my cockles for K-Fed, who is appearing to be the best of the bunch! He has to stop peopling the world with UGLY children, though! EVERY SINGLE ONE is K-Fugly!

I love how dedicated she is to getting better. First rule of AA, no new relationships for at least a year. The fact that her new boytoy announces they hook up at alcoholics ANONYMOUS is just icing on the cake. (Yeah, I know everyone there probably knows who she is anyway, but she had to go get herself a rulebreaking. Just what she needs.)

THIS JUST IN: ABC News reported that Justin sent Brit a letter in rehab that was all mushy about how he's there for her and how if they had been togethre just a few years longer then they could have been married and having kids.

hmmmmm, why is it that men always flock to psycho, druggie sluts who neglect their kids to get high and bang all night? why? what is the appeal?

@23, you answered your own question Nips: to get high and bang all night, of course.

Just reminds me of how people sleep with whoever they can to get ahead in life. This bitch Rina Weinberg slept with her boss who also happened to my husband and the father of my two kids. Now she's sleeping with the president's son at her new company, even though he's ugly as sin and was the real life inspiration for Gollum from the Lord of the Rings. But it got her a job where she can never get fired and comfy pad since she's moved her lardy ass in with rent boy. All I can say is what goes around comes around.

So 'midevil' must totally be like the center of evil. This guy's real bright, she's met her match... again.

she is going to be MADE by this bitch. if this is how she ended up because of k fed, this bitch is going to leave her looking like a 100 tons elephant with acne and 57 children. and POOR! like hell! so poor she'll be doing blow jobs for 25 cents an hour!

FrigginA, GOOD FOR YOU! I would love to throw out a whore's name (not Angelina Jolie or Julia Horseface Roberts), but I'd get sued with my luck! And, it would identify me...I like anonymous postings, esp if I have a lot of drink! You go, girl! Get the whore! To be a bit more serious, these people DO get their just rewards, sometimes it takes too long, but they do...

#23 - yeah i heard a couple of weeks ago that it was Timbaland who approached Justin and asked him to work with him to help Britney. Apparently when she gets better they want her to make a massive comeback. It probably will happen cos Timbaland's artists all make it BIG. It just shows how much power Britney still has.

I'm waiting for Britney to put her diary into a book and sell it, with the release her new album that timba & justin will take all the credit for and suck in all the moolah from this ridiculous chapter in entertainment history.

Who wants to date a bald, psycho shitbag like her? Only some rehab loser, I guess.

I don't care what anybody says - he's HOTTT!!! Looks like this is the start of Britney's comeback.

BRITNEY'S DIARY - day 7 of rehab
I got my head and pussy confused and shaved the wrong one AGAIN. J-Sun is sooo cute. This hotel sucks, room sevice won't even bring me a beer. Is Vaseline good to eat? I forget how many kids I got now. Cheetos make me feel all wiggly.

He hasn't signed into his Myspace account since last June, so the info on there is irrelevant to his current state in rehab, etc.

wow

#22 You said exactly what I was going to say about no relationships for a year. I guess next he's going to be her sponsor, too, which is another AA no-no.

Hey folks...

Let's pull a No-Paris, No-Britney, No-Lohan, No-Olsens, No-Nicole week. Pick on everybody else but these. No pubs, no problem. I'm tired of them, anyway. Its like when you beat youe Grandma until you're sure she's dead and you get up for a sandwich, but when you get back, she's twitching again. Just can't take another round with these misfits.

A dual-addiction relationship....should be fun.

That motherfucker! Now what the fuck am I gonna do with all these drug rehab center applications? I had every one covered, every fucking one, just waiting for her to go apeshit. Just one OD away. Now this Tanto gets her. I can't believed I saved all my money for this shit.

Damn! Why oh why didn't her mother wear a condom or swallow? Then we never would have had to deal with this banjo playing, cheeto eating, toe picking, ass licking hill jack! Isn't it time for her family to fix her up with a cousin, or uncle or something?

#22 and 36 covered it mostly. It would be perfect if Brit announced that they were sponsoring each other. I should have more sympathy for her, but I have never seen any evidence of her ability to be rigorous or honest about anything.

whens the glorious comeback happening?iv been holdin my breath every since she went in2 rehab for the 7th time for her 2 come out with a funky short haired do,2 stone lighter and with a bit of make-up on...she always lets me down!as for the creep who's apparently her new boyfriend-ew.that is all.

ALSO i just visited his myspace+he's a real stand up guy-he has a group called 'green bottle sexy alcoholics' on his page...wud it b rong 2 punch an alcoholic in the bac of the head?

From his MySpace: (typos and idiocy all his)

"Its all about Music-Art- pure freedom of expression, judging people is bullshit, playing shows hangin with other bands &, meeting fans keeps me well oiled !!... Iam very much into Yoga, Tai Chi, Meditation,Powers of Egypt, buddha, and reading the Zohar- I live as hard as i can-I dig making people crack the fuk
up!!"

You can't make this shit up folks.

PS: he's well oiled (translation: total closet homo)

he's right, his profile certainly cracked me up...

as much as i hate new-agey people, i think he sounds pretty cool. and yoga is bullshit as a religion, but as a workout it keeps you in really good shape. i'm sure kevin would have been just too damn sarcastic to take anything seriously.

for the non-believers: he's 6'3" and rich

check out new jolie-pitt kid at perezhilton

I feel so sorry for her. She's so young and confused, under so much pressure, and everybody is judging her. Even while she's working hard to fix her personal problems, uncaring people make harsh comments. I hope she sees how this reflects poorly on them, not her. Go Brit!!! Love you!!!

is she that young? she's 26. that rounds up to 30. that's really not that young.

It rounds down to 25. That's pretty young.

"Iam very much into Yoga, Tai Chi, Meditation,Powers of Egypt, buddha, and reading the Zohar..." but getting high on life alone is completely alien to me. To really charge me I need a speedball made of Colombia's whitest and the Orient's tarriest!!

Cindi, you are confused sweetie. This isn't the site to issue posts of encouragement. This site is for posting mildly amusing and insightful criticisms about people who deserve our scorn.

It halves to 13. That's pretty unlucky.

Cindy with an i, you're one of the reasons people hate Americans. What excatly has she done to prove she has "worked so hard to fix her problems"??? Running in & out of rehab 3 times within a week and a half, then shaving her head & beating the crap out of a car with an umbrella? While I understand it is a lot more exercise than she has done in about 4 years but I hardly think it is helping her work through her problems. She is a trainwreck of a soul and should be put to sleep to put her out of her misery for good. And by the way, she brings all of this on herself because she has the proper decision making skills of a cheese omellete.

It doubles to 52, but only if she plays her cards right.

Please help, Farrakhan's numerology has taken over my mind.

@14 ASOB rock IS a type of music started by a band called Arrogant Sons of Bitches. Get it? ASOB.............do some research before you spout your hole. Speaking of losers.............

biatcho you're nothing if not predictable.

Wot a mess this chick is. It doesn't get much lower than hooking up in rehab.

When they get out he can show her how to properly shoot up drugs and all kinds of cool stuff. She's a total disaster even in rehab.

Obviously she has issues and never matured due to her money making machine that controlled her for so long. You can thank her mom and K-dick.

She needs a lot of therapy.

the "i" is for "shiny" and it worked like a charm

He's more her financial equal than K-Fed was (if he can afford $48,000 a month for rehab) and when they get out, they can both relapse together.
Love is nice!

He obviously forgot to list his favorite hobby: doin drugs.

6feet 7inches of pure loser and that's without getting into the STDs he's surely recently contracted.

Rich? I think not.

When I see the name Cindi--with an "i", I get imagery of what I call "Cindi...with and Eye"...a really stupid blonde with lopsided boobs with one great big overly-made-up eye right smack in the middle of her bubble head...

Cindi - It's almost Spring, don't you have to fluff your pom poms & take the lead as head of the prom committee? It's almost time to take down those pictures of Britney from your locker while you're at it there sweetcheeks.

#64 - HEY! Stop calling me PrettyBaby.

#57

yeah, anyone who actually knows what the fuck "asob rock" is is actually a loser indeed.

Hey, Biatcho, know how you can tell the head cheerleader? She's the one with the dirty knees!!
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Cindi with an i..........

i'm assuming you are talking to me, barbado, though it might be just another bait and switch... you love that, don't you, you little tease. i'm gonna span...um sorry, wandering mind-

anyway- do you have any idea how much a rehab center like that costs? he's gotta be rich

and i like his song.

i'm assuming you are talking to me, barbado, though it might be just another bait and switch... you love that, don't you, you little tease. i'm gonna span...um sorry, wandering mind-

anyway- do you have any idea how much a rehab center like that costs? he's gotta be rich

and i like his song.

make that 3" inches, he's still a dirtbag, and there must be some explanation for how he's paying for his stay at that place. This guy cannot be a millionaire, I refuse to believe it.

Medical plan maybe?

biatcho how are those squirmy dreams of schack going these days? do you still wake up right before you orgasm as she slides a finger up your ass?

well, in this country you have to be rich to afford the kind of health insurance that would cover inpatient services at a place like that.

Wait wait wait, anybody remember that Larry guy that married Elizabeth Taylor like 5 marriages ago? She met him at a place like this when they were in rehab, he was also a douchebag without a penny to his name as well, I think his workman's comp or some shit like that was paying for the treatment.

Im not one to judge by looks, but his band does sound good, and at least he has a job unlike the other loosers shes dated.. sure " eyezik" was a " model " but when was the last time we saw him in any ads? Also , i think this guy is involved with someone and the press are just trying to make shit up...not like thats never happend before =P

No, nipsy (or is that tipsy?), the loser is one who just can't quite get it right and then proceeds to call everyone else a loser to cover his own lack of knowledge. Go back to sleep now and it will all be over tomorrow.........

Oh teh cindeeee, you are teh dumb. Jrz - you know how else you can tell the head cheerleader - she's got constant lockjaw from all the dicksucking!

alright. i concede. he's probably another penniless douche.

Correction *workmen's

Since this is The Superficial we are not here to give this wannabe a free pass, I don't care if he's Jim Morrison re-incarnated. To us he's just a gold-digging druggie with a criminal record and possible ties to Al-Quaeda 'til he proves otherwise.

#76

"or is that tipsy"? wow, that was completely original. i'd be on the verge of tears if your quips weren't so average. try sticks and stones next time.

That said, I did get a little tingly just from reading Cindi's last comment.

#81 - Thanks Wally - have you moved the dead prostitutes from your mom's basement yet? The smell is tipping the neighbors off so you may wanna do that before you end up getting fingerblasted in jail, which you may or may not enjoy. can't tell.

Gold digger? Basically BS seems so friggin desperate to find a friend that she'll hook up with ANYONE willing to talk to her. Seriously, I honestly think everyone on this site would even have a good chance of becoming her new best friend if they ever meet her. She's got nobody, she's desperate, she'll hook up with anyone. So damn pathetic. As for the guy, aside from being a gold digger, how can one stand to hook up with Brit? I've gotta imagine that hittin it would be one of the most disgustingly traumatic things ever. How could you even get it up, looking at that stubbly quasi-bald head, seeing the dazed and confused look in her eyes, that worn out body, and just having the very knowledge that you're about to enter a hole once occupied by k-fed, along with a plethora of other losers. It takes a pretty messed up guy to want to hook up with BS at this stage. She's still a dirty rehab ho, at least give her a chance to clean up, get herself back together, and take her virus medications before even considering it!

in re: 83--Fuck it! I'll be her friend if she's buying the drinks.

#82 - sorry, i had to take a giant steaming dump. around here we call that a "big biatcho". were you saying something?

Zero to "I love her" in a couple of days... Quality relationship...

Thanks for the props Fish... I posted this in the Olsen thread yesterday and sent it in via the submission form...

I love how he says on his MySpace page that he doesn't want kids. What a coincidence! Neither does Britney! Ooops...

biatcho on March 15, 2007 7:40 AM

What excatly has she done to prove she has "worked so hard to fix her problems"??? Running in & out of rehab 3 times within a week and a half, then shaving her head & beating the crap out of a car with an umbrella? While I understand it is a lot more exercise than she has done in about 4 years but I hardly think it is helping her work through her problems. She is a trainwreck of a soul and should be put to sleep to put her out of her misery for good. And by the way, she brings all of this on herself because she has the proper decision making skills of a cheese omellete.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
i agree, shes just helpless, and dating a dude in REHAB? wonderful, so they can get out, she can by her own engagement ring (again! how sad?!), and make him a (shitty) rapper! plus, we all know shell drop another $400K on some exotic car J-Sun just has to have LOL
and Biatcho, your fuckin hilarious!

#84 – don’t make such a rash decision without considering the consequences. Sure she might buy you the drink, but you know she’ll be like “oh, let me have a sip” and then you’ll have to watch the backwash pouring from her herpes infected lips as she then hands the drink back to you with that big goofy grin on her face in eager expectation of watching you take the next sip. Are you really gonna be able to take that next sip? And I’m pretty sure BS eventually tries to fuck all her friends (this applies equally to male and female). So then you’re gonna be faced with the dilemma of trying to not have sex with her. Awkward! You’re better off just not putting yourself in that situation at all.

you're right, whitegold, she'll also try to dump her kids off on me too, and there's just not enough booze in the world to compensate for that.

I'd fuck Britney, just to sell the pictures to Perez Hilton of course, but I'd fuck her. Bald, weaved-up, sober, asleep, fuck it. I can pretend understand her pain as I force he head into my lap. How hard could that be?

This must be the reason why she STAYS in this rehab because i think it's actually a brothel.

Thirteenth step y'all.

Sticks and stones - bwaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Once a loser, always a loser.

WILL EVERYONE Shut the fuck up! Jason is a myspace friend of mine that I have never met, mainly cause the the fucker is always in rehab!

I KEED, I KEED!

Am i glad i'm currently not in the same rehab.Man would that be spooky and creepy.Every night having a bald woman knocking at your door asking you for a can of coke.

this one is a real winnner

i speak from *ahem* experience when i say you should NOT find guys in rehab. there's a reason why they're in rehab. because they can't function in the real world.

In deep? Well, he'd better pull it out before he catches something.

Really though, junkie on junkie is not the ideal match.