Jan 12 2007Paula Abdul promotes American Idol, forgets her brain

Where's the REAL fucking story?

I think all three of those chicks are sharing the same brain cell.

I understand that Damn-Yell is actually the long lost identical twin to Paris Hilton, except, believe it or not, Danielle is actually the dumb one.

The umbilical cord got wrapped around Danielle's neck and not only did the lack of oxygen caused irreparable brain damage, but it turned the bitch permanently purple.

Upset at the prospect of having to raise a more mentally deficient and even uglier version of Paris, the Hilton's gave her up for adoption. Well, actually, they just dumped her on someone's porch and told them it was a pet monkey.

Danielle supported their claim by flinging poo.

Fourth, bitch.

#3. When I need an "Introduction" from a redneck who resides in the backwoods of Kentucky and who eats dead squirrels fried in olive juice and marinated with ketchup...I'll be sure to call Shitney Smears.

So, shut the fuck up.

what a train wreck, I couldnt even watch the whole thing... I hope she passes out live this year.

WWoooww.....slurring ur words a bit there. way to present urself as a sleaze

I really should NOT be releasing this info, but Paula is planning a HUGE comeback by remaking her #1 singles based on how her life has changed. The first is a remake of "Rush, Rush" (Sung in the same tune)...

"drugs, drugs
hurry hurry, dealer come to meeee
drugs, drugs
I wanna feel it,
wanna feel crack flow through meeeee!"

Congrats on pulling a "deVito", Paula!

I agree with you # 6

Nice come back, Danielle. When the welfare check runs out because you spent it all on crack, I advise that you hold up a liquor store because the proprietors are generally well armed and have no compunctions about busting a cap in some junky's ass.

#10.

And the twit continues to annoy me.....

Welfare- check♥...Jrz already used that one.

Since you crackers seem to pull "jokes" out of your ass as much as you chew on tobacco, I'll let you have that one.

Seriously: welfare, baby daddies, odd names and drug possession is getting quite cheesy and lame.

Go commit suicide, rape a baby, overdose on heroin or just hump a wall like a good CRACKER.

Get lost, you piece of used up lump of semen.

"Get lost, you piece of used up lump of semen"

I think I can actually hear the English language crying...

OMG, what the heck happened to her?!? Still, for a 40-something year old, she's damn hot!!! So if she wants to act like a silly drunk chick, I'm not gonna complain.

troll

I guess this explains why her ex, Emilio Estevez, can't bear to watch her on TV. It's embarrassing enough for those of us who don't even know her!

.... that was very painful to wathch!

Oh my god I was so embarrassed just watching this. Does she do this a lot? Someone fill me in!

RE: If you x-rayed her head you'd find a bunch of cobwebs and an IOU from God that said "One brain."

I just laughed my ass off...

this was hard to watch. the bitch is fucked up.

An IOU in her head from God that said "one brain"... hahaha... do you realize how wonderful and funny you are?

Before i click on the video and watch what I am sure will be very entertaining, I just have one question.....

Who is that in the red sweatshirt holding the umbrella.....William Hung?

Wow, that was quite bad.

ok...having now watched the video.....

Ho.....ly........shit.

That was too much.

And it was the Hungmeister!

If a Bratz doll was drunk and talked, that is what it would look like.

Hahahaha, "you KNOW WHAT!? any publicity is good publicity!!!"

I wonder if she'll be singing the same tune in the next few days, when everyone will see this and collectively poop on her.

That was so entertaining, thank you

Paula Abwho?

There's an even MORE fucked up Paula on YouTube. Just search, "Blast: Paula Abdul". It's riveting!

if not welfare checks, then danielle is collecting money running an adult daycare on her back porch while she sits in the kitchen waiting to be first. The old geezers can't complain about the lack of care. She also doesn't have a Significant Other (except for the homosexual Libraesque) who doesn't care about the lack of attention she gives him. Ah! Sweet Success!! To have just enough money to pay the DSL bill, a six-pack of lite beer and being able to say "first" on a web site. Your parents (if they paid any attention to you) would be so proud.

paula abdul actually has reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome, "a chronic pain condition that is believed to be the result of dysfunction in the central or peripheral nervous systems." her behavior is probably due to the side effects of painkillers.

DanYell ... As a "cracker" Im personally offended by your insults to the white race ! Havent you got a rally to lead because of the " injustice " of blacks in the south? Shouldnt you be trying to convince us to buy the Cosby show insted of Seinfeld ? Perhaps you should be writing Krackhead Wests's next bitch speech when his show on HBO is cancled because he's black ! surely someone of your advanced skill in english and grammar has an important job, not just sitting around here talking to us crackers all day !

Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy is one of the easiest illnesses to fake and the one used by many drug addicts to obtain a steady supply of pharmaceuticals and sometimes a welfare check.

Danyello! stick up for yourself! all them katrina bitches got checks and free hotels and when your last boyfriend left you on the street with no job, a baby and a disabled cat, where was your fucking FEMA trailer?? People get shit happen to them all the time but the only time it was somebody else's fault (and financial responsiblity) was when it was a hurricane. Like nobody knew the hurricane was coming but you were supposed to know that crackhead was going to leave you high and dry. I think you should troll Spike Lee until he gives you a disaster check cause you are a disaster and it just has to be somebody else's fault.....

Wow - she's shaking harder than Michael J.

I'll probably go to hell for this, but did Paula remind any else of Michael J. Fox's commercial?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9WB_PXjTBo

Sit still, woman!

Danielle, just, wow.
Couple things, sweet cheeks:

- If you fried something in olive juice the juice will rapidly evaporate, and you would just be burning said squirrels. I know that 'virgin' lost all meaning to you at age 11, much less 'extra virgin,' but you might try saying 'olive oil' next time.

- When someone irritates you via the internet, you advise them to eithe kill themselves or 'rape a baby.' Is that what mummy had papa do to you when she got mad at him? It might somewhat explain your stance on such issues.

- One does not actually 'chew on' chewing tobacco.

- Semen does not come in 'lumps.' If you will glance through you baby pictures, I am certain the truth will be revealed to you.

My favorite part is when she had to stop herself from barfing.

she's very tilty

Super! The hooker dolls are gonna come to life:)

# 35

I just made the tiniest little droplet of pee in my panties laughing so hard...good stuff!

My God.....what the hell was that??? That was so awkward. More frightening, still, is that I realize that's what I sound like when I drink and dial.

OMG that totally sounds/looks like me at my company's boat cruis last year. HEHEHEHEHEEEE
She's like: "iiii I'm goonna tell yyyou soomeethiing..... iiii I aamm drunk aaaasss a ssskuuunk"

She sounds like a fuckin' arsehole.

I'd hit it and if she was in that state of mind at the time there's no telling what kind of kinky shit I would do with her.

wow...did I just watch corky's older sister on the news??

oh yeah, and for everyone getting on danielle...leave the rest of us black folks out of it. its not our fault she hates white people and is bad at telling jokes. jesse jackson and hurricane katrina need not be included in your diatribes against her. thanks!

ok well jesse jackson is fine, he's a douche. but general black jokes are not

Ok. I'm not an American, so maybe Paula Abdul is incredibly famous there. But I only have this vague image of her dancing in some random video clip with a... cartoon??? Oh, and I saw in a magazine a weird picture of her nasty cleaveage like a week ago. Not sure.

#45 LMAO - ok no katrina but i don't even think danielle is darker skinned, i think she's pasty white like many of us but she's just trying to be cool cause black is cool and white isn't. MLK (birthday Monday) wanted us to be together (naturally) so now black people are stuck with white people cause we love you - and vice versa - now that we got to know each other. but danielle sucks. but on these pages everyone is exactly the same color and we can rag on danielle all we want without backlash. Yeah!!

I watched this live. What the clip doesn't show is the first two attempts to get her attention. They brushed it off saying she must not have been able to hear them because she kept saying "hello" and looking off camera and laughing.

It was almost painful to watch the entire thing. But like a train wreck, I couldn't stop staring.

Umm... i thought she had this condition, thats why shes always weird lol!

Umm... i thought she had this condition, thats why shes always weird lol!

She still makes more sense than Brittney or Paris anyday.

@37 from poopants... LMAO! Hilarious.

(yawn)

Caspers generally talk out of their asses for hours at a time but this....is just fucking ridiculous. Now I know why all of your mother's died in the process of performing those makeshift abortion's. Too bad they had to die and not your pathetic asses.

Shame.

I'm sure their all pissing in their graves at the site of how fugly their little bastards turned out to be.

#12. And when the English language cries, it sounds a bit like that muffled, funky, excited sound I make the moment my 'starfish' is skewered by a particularly substantial 'spear'.

True story.

This video is very good for my selfesteem,have anybody missed me?

I was caught up for a while because i had to duck-tape this hole in my screen.

(54)No bad feelings i hope..?

Sometimes you never know how these :Internetqueens are responding.True story.

If "dune coon" had an entry in the dictionary Osama Bin Laden would be the noun and Paula Abdul would be the adverb.

What is she on? She acts just like Brittney in that video K fed shot. Can't just be alcohol. Whatever it is I want it for just a day.

LOLOL this is awesome! i was waiting for paula to fall off her chair by that phantom breeze that kept causing her to sway throughout the "interview" followed by a "aaaand that concludes our interview, Seattle"
LOL thank you for the laugh on this fine sunday morning

Chicks should not be allowed on television. Susan B. Anthony was an idiot. I think history will show, "B," is way more dumb than "W." Just "watch."

Biatch

If "racist piece of shit" had an entry in the dictionary, post 59 would be given as an example.

It's one thing when you get drunk and the next morning you're like, Oh shit, I hope I didn't say anything TOO fucking stupid when you were with a few friends......imagine having that feeling and being like, What did I just say to the greater Seattle viewing area?

I'll say it once and I'll say it again, who are these PR people or Managers who are SUPPOSED to look out for these type of things??!!

THIS WAS LIVE! Didn't anybody on Paula's end say "Paula you can't go on! You're lit up like a Christmas Tree!" Did anyone even care??

This is just sad. Everybody in Hollywood is going crazy...

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

OMFG! I don't believe how freaking mean you haters are being! Paula is not drunk or on drugs, haters! It's her pain medication! For her back! And she's tired from doing the talk show circuit! And she just had botox, so her face is all numb-- that's why she's talking all funny! And she probably has a bad case of hemorrhoids, explaining why she can't sit still! And... um... she could also have a neurological condition, like what Michael J. Fox has! (It could happen!) And... and... she could have also just had some root canal done, with the laughing gas still in her system, making her slur her words like that... and, uh... uh... she could also be on her period... (yeah, that's the ticket!)... the Motrin she probably took is the reason why she is acting that way. Besides, she could have been nervous doing these interviews.

So stop saying it's drugs or medication, fools! Stop hatin'! There could be a million other reasons why a woman in her 40s could be acting like a 12 year old mental patient on national television! Why does it necessarily have to be drugs or alcohol?

Signed,
23 y.o. American Idol fan with IQ of a tomato

#59- Awww, how cute. Someone thinks he's funny.

Wow. That was so sad it wasn't even funny... oh wait, yeah it was! I must congratulate Paula on confirming the reports of alleged televised intoxications. A toast to Paula!

I WANT PAULA and whatever she get's fucked up on. (Valium and vodka would be my guess, judging from her slur 'n slop.)

She seemed sooooooo happy!