first

Yikes. This is awful.

Woe. That broad is as dumb as a box of rocks.

You had me at insanity

http://www.celebslam.com

whacked

Put her out of her misery and just shoot her

Please stop with this FIRST crap-it reminds me of grammer
school kids getting in line for the water fountain-enough!
I think we all realize that you're FIRST!
This e-mail must be in reference to the comment about Al, Leo and Will laughing at her in New York. Frankly, I think it's
all a lie but funny to read none the less!

this chick is not sexy, who the fuck tells her that these outfits,,,,look good ?? they do not.... bring on more paris and britney beaver please.

There are many people in this world who are just like her. They think by extending a sentence or using a semi-big word qualifies them as intellectuals.

The education system is not to blame for this, damn it. Some people are just fucking stupid. If I ever see her here in Hollywood, I promise to throw a box of piranhas at her.

I PROMISE.

THE WAY OF THE FUTURE!!!!

I'd like to sue ho-cunt on the grounds of 'stupidity'. Her stupidity has caused me to laugh uncontrollably which than caused me to spill my super hot coffee all over my 'kill Paris' t-shirt....although I might reconsider only if she goes back to grade school.

Padded room time for Lindsay.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

This is gonna be the BEST. SUICIDE. EVER!

she graduated high school with writing skills like this?

See more writings from lohan here:

http://www.cheaptexts.com

she is nothing more than a box of hair.

Would anyone remotely care who Lindsay Lohan is if half of her boob hadn't popped out of her dress two years ago, when she was still sorta cute?

I wish this fucking whore would learn how to use spellcheck. "oppinion"....agghhhh!

Kids, this rambling, run-on sentence of hers is a perfect example of why it is NEVER ok to drink and dial....or, in this case, type.

Post 12 wins

good work Barbado Slim

omg. "I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me" omg --> that's awfully true, omg -g** damn her "fans". when will she be announcing her suicide or a miscarriage??? I'm craving for hearing that.

She sounds smarter than I thought she'd be.

She's definitely got more brains than say, Pamela Anderson. But that's not saying much - you've seen her writing.

I think Lindsay's biggest problem is that she suffers from delusions of grandeur. "Al Gore will help me?" Sure honey. I'm sure a respected political figure will just jump at the chance of being associated with you and all your "baggage."

How can you sue for defamation of character when you don't possess any?

That said, this is both delusional and a fractured cry for help. How distorted must her worldview be if she truly believes she can enlist the support of Al Gore and Bill Clinton in her epic battle against the tabloids for reporting her endless bitchfests and muff peeks.

I suppose Clinton might help out if she delivers an effective blowjie. But Gore? Nah. And what about Kofi Annan and Desmond Tutu? She should definitely give them a call.

I have no idea what the hell she's talking about. Anybody else?????

Feels the world is lashing out at her unfairly...

Feels the need to respond at length to relatively insignificant circumstance...

Craves attention yet rejects it when received...

She's going to commit suicide soon. And I will buy the corpse off Ebay.

What scares me is that I understood what she was saying.

At any rate, this child needs to be demoted into a special ed. class and learn her hooked on phonics! This was a scary attempt at literacy that reminds me of "My First Report" from a Grade 1 student.

holy run on fucking sentance
THE WAY OF THE FUTURE!!!
lol what a retard

T-Mobile? Cheap bitch...

is T-Mobile the: YO YO WHERE JOO AT? service?

Despite her complete inability to articulate thoughts, Lohan has a point about the media's failure to report on worth while topics...like the eradication of extreme poverty and hunger through the achievement of the UN Millennium Development Goals...just a thought.

Here's a thought Lindsay, don't feed the press on a daily basis with all of your idiotic behavior. It's a lot easier to defend yourself when they don't have anything documented. Put on some panties, and shut the fuck up. You made your bed...now lie in it.

Hey Guys,

Here's the two watches photo: http://letters-from-london.blogspot.com/

Cheers
Lucille

GORE - HO:HAN 2008!! Vote or Die!!

#20

Al Gore, a "respected political figure"????
I think I pissed my pants...thats better than post 12!

She's losing her mind!

And we're reaping all the benefits...

Her face is puffy like Shawn Combs. Dang!!

http://www.myspace.com/mattdukemusic

"... Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better ..."
Maybe she should lead by example?

http://
1000's of cheats for Wii, PS3, PSP and Xbox360

"I am willing to be the one to help change that and use my celebrity status to move the focalpoint /(s) of the press to the real issues that we have going on as we speak. Anyone that is willing to help and has a family member or friend, even co-worker that is in a position to be involved in any way, shape or form, please contact me, Jenni Muro, Leslie Sloane, Michael Heller, Jason Sloane, Jason Weinberg as soon as you can or are willing. Just ask them, it doesn't hurt to ask. So let's start now, rather than waste time. Do you agree? Because I'm doing it either way."

BUWHAHAHAHA!!! Her parents should be forced to undergo live on television sterilizations. Next, we need to insist that Al Gore use whatever power he has in Washington to have her carted off to Gitmo, and also forcibly sterilized for the good of the environment and our air supply. People who're that sofa king wee todd did must not breed. I insist.

Signed,

Chairwoman Mao

The craziness will never stop!@$

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

Poor Al, now he'll never get elected, hilary better watch out...

#33 rofl nice.

oh and hohan, shut the feck up

PUT.DOWN.THE.METH.

Al Gore wants to help her....with her blow job skills. Maybe he thought it would stop her coke infused endless sentence. No-one wants to be standing next to the cokehead when they start talking....even Al Gore.

I agree wtih #12, this girl is self-destructing right in front of our eyes. I just wonder if she'll be a straight suicide, or a murder-suicide. I hope she takes Paris with her.

You know, there is an Alternate Universe were Lohan is not a drugged out wacko. It's the same same universe where Tom Cruise doesn't think cock is THE BEST THING EVER, the one in which OJ found the real culprits, where the earth is flat and Fergie doesn't have a penis.

??? WTF? What do Hohan and a marshmallow egg have in common? --Both are puffy and full of air.

She's NOT going to commit suicide. She's just going to end up on reality loser shows, kinda like kinda like that Chilton chick, and Leif Garrett and all the dudes from the 80's hair bands. She's so pathetic.

I love you SUPERFICIAL guy, but fuck I'm sick of seeing Fucksay Slowhan on your page every other entry. Damn, she's so fucking boring.

And she kinda looks like she smells. You know? Those girls in high school - ladies, you know what I'm talking about- the ones that you didn't want to have a gym locker next to and you didn't want to be there when she changed her panties (or just turned them inside out) because she had that pungeant coochie smell? Yeah, like that.

"...because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see."

"yes lindsay we have ALL learned from you, yes, yes, you are so right, now dear just put your arm thourgh this white jacket.."

- "oh what are the buckles and straps for?? well it's the latest fashion, everyone wears one of these now, look around you, everyone is wearing these cute little tight fitting white jackets..."

*inserts needle*

now shhhh, it's time for your nappy nap

She writes how she speaks. Scary.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

I only want to see ONE end to this sordid little chapter of contemporary american life, I'll sum it up with a name from the past:

Dana (i did porn) Plato

on a related matter, any links to that mpeg would be rewarded with booze and hookers, better yet, forget the booze.

LR = little richard???

Someone should send her a DVD of "Frances", that movie about Frances Farmer's plunge into alcohol, promiscuity and insanity with Jessica Lange. She'd probably look at her as a role model.

jesus fucking christ! i wrote more coherently that this when i was in 3rd grade...but then i wasn't a coked out alcholic when i was that age either. nor was i serially fucking random guys and then blaming it on a tv show....hmmm....
and who's LR??

can you say "functionally illiterate"?

damn, this site is getting boring. all we ever see is lindsey, paris, and britney. i don't even read the articles anymore.

What the fuck was I thinking? Social Security, the war in Iraq, and Homeland Security are insignificant compared to the vital issue of tabloids pushing celebrity sleaze.

Loved the ending. Way to plug T-Mobile you classy, classy girl!

WTF happened to her face??

while i'm impressed that lindsay Cokehan can type she needs to spare the world her druggie manifesto.

STFU and suck my dick.....i would say if i had one.

She's quoting Howard "I collect my nail clippings in a mason jar" Hughes? No wonder her writing ("word salad") makes her come across as bat-shit insane.

Was Mike Tyson her English Teacher?

Seriously, she sounds like some Meth Addict homless person mumbiling to hearself and picking at her sores on a bench at the bus station.

I can't WAIT until about 7 years from now when I get to see "The E True Hollywood Story, "Lindsey Lohan, Decent into Drugs, Insanity and Obscurity""

Followed by the Valerie Bertinelli Christmas Special!! Yay!!!

The Great Works - Homer's Odyssey, The Arabian Nights, Shakespeare, Chaucer, and of course Lohan. Lohan's classics range from such standards as "I Am Not Like Those People Say I Was But Whatever" to "Firecrotch Is Not Nice Thing To Call People But Still I Rise", and who could forget "I Think We Sue Tabloids And You Don't Know Me Really Because I Do".

#21...
"How can you sue for defamation of character when you don't possess any?"

More brilliant words have never been typed.

Except maybe #12.

I am not even joking. Britney's Antigone (if that what it was on) report she did when she was, what? 12? made more sense than this.

ps. she looks like a hobo.

Here's a lie: Her hair looks really good dyed black - it makes her look young and vibrant.

When Reached for comment about Lindsey Lohan's Recent Letter Whitney Houston was reported to have said,

"Shit, that skanky bitch Stupid!"

We need some type of oddmaker here to start a death pool and who can crack some skulls (someone of italian descent, Stallion? I'm only part italian).

My money is on SUV plowing onto oncoming traffic somewhere near Malibu.

decapitation, drugs to be found will be, coke .

also, no panties.

We need some type of oddmaker here to start a death pool and who can crack some skulls (someone of italian descent, Stallion? I'm only part italian).

My money is on SUV plowing onto oncoming traffic somewhere near Malibu.

decapitation, drugs to be found will be, coke .

also, no panties.

I have to admit, this is very satisfying to see...Cokehan's nervous breakdown via text message. I love America!

#10 you are seriously fucking hilarious. And Lindsey is seriously fucking sad. She needs to do everyone a favor and bow out. I don't think I can stand any more of these incoherent ramblings. They are killing my soul.

One little mistake Lindsay, your comment should have read "definition of character" Because for once the tabloids are printing the truth about your descent into a drug and cum induced psychosis.

But hey what the hell, Be Adequite!!

Post #12 is THE BEST!! I'm still laughing.

Great. Thank you. Post this letter on the net and now Bin Laden's sleeper cells will start waking up.

God, what an idiot, get over yourself already. Miss Lohan, if you'd stop hitting the clubs every damn night and acting like a complete ass people would stop talking about you. But we just can't have that, now, can we? Truly, there is no such thing as bad publicity

I'd love to know what Hoham means by "adequite." She must think it means somethng above and beyond, superb, extraordinary. When, in fact, it describes her in every possible way when spelled correctly: "inadequate."

#67 LMAO - "drug- and cum-induced psyhosis."

Is she being handed a tampon in that second pic? Just curious...

That should be "Hohan," but she is looking a trifle piggy these days...

SOMEONE needs to up her thorazine.

Damn I can't spell today. "Psychosis" it should be. And she's quoting DiCaprio playing Hughes, psychotically saying "the way of the future" over and over again in The Aviator. So she's basically comparing herself to a millionaire playboy with OCD who died a tawdry and lonely death surrounded by handlers. Much like Hohan herself is destined to.

Mystery solved...

LR= Lindsay Ratowsky aka Blowhan's former assistant, current assistant of Jessica Biel...the girl Blowhan was bitching about at that GQ party.

Wow, that took a bit of detective work. Now I can go back to bed.

I'm gonna go against my better judgment here and save this bitch some money:

1. stop

2. go to Tibet for a couple of years and become ninja

3. move to Gotham City

4. use your money to "hook yourself up" with state of the art devices, not that T-Mobile bullshit.

5. hire a british butler

6. fight crime

I teach freshman English to some dumb mother fuckers, but even THEY know that sentence fragments are simply unacceptable.

It's amazing how people will help you with your spelling. If you just ask. IF YOU JUST ASK...

on another note-I've noticed all comments on this subject are presented with impecable spelling and grammer.

You got somethin' to say to me Ferguson?

Ummm. Sure?

Um, sure?

Just wondering if you want the last fragment?

You know, the one that brings the whole thing together.

I'd love to help the little troll. Let's start with:

http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesTitle/productCd-0764553224.html

followed up with: http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesTitle/productCd-0764576240.html

I was talking about Lohan! Yours are complete sentences. Subject and verbs are all present.

I was talking about Lohan! Yours are complete sentences. Subject and verbs are all present.

Oh, ok, my bad, Mr. Ferguson. Now, as an educator, explain how Lindsay graduated with an 4.00 avg.

:)

no child left behind my ass.

79. Harmony LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

ZZZZZZING!!!

Oh and as for Lindsay's influence on the young today, could somebody remind me just how long it's been since she's had a hit movie? Three years you say?

Back a few years ago, before I became totally jaded and cynical about the human condition, I was a high school English teacher. Please believe me when I say that I have read some pretty rancid and incomprehensible prose in my time, some of it with the all the letter "i"'s dotted with little hearts.

But this....good Lord in heaven have mercy. Her publicist needs to put the ix-nay on anymore incoherent, yearning, way-of-the-future missives from this twit before she embarrasses herself any further.

I remember when Mean Girls came out. I walked past one of the posters and thought, "Good gravy, this girl is HOT! And man, has she got some sweater meat or what!"

Such a bummer that she didn't do porn while she was still hot. Didn't we learn anything from Savannah's legacy?!?!

WTF?

In high school I remember reading about "word salad" - the inane ramblings of schizos and the like.

Pass the fat free italian dressing.
That girl has tossed some major word salad our way.

OMG, that bitch is getting fat fat fat! OINK, SEWEEEE. Guess when she stopped drinking (if she did) she picked up a Mcdee habit or two. Maybe she'll do us all a favor and eat at Taco Bell and ask for extra Green Onions?

Ms. Lohan, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

I'm going to display more intelligence in my next 7 word sentence than Lindsay Blowhan's latest ramble.

SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU IDIOT BITCH.

Publicists, don't let your lunatic clients grow up to have blackberrys.

94: touche! (fancy franch word what rhymes with douche)

I very much resent her use of "way of the future". It's mine; I own it and have been using it for years, shouting it aloud from city street corners at innocent passers-by.

"WAY OF THE FUTURE!!" That is all.

You guys realize that this girl is all Tina Fey's fault. Tina sounds really hot when she speaks through the Lohan puppet. The illusion was hypnotic, in it's day.

"Your Entertainer, Lindsay Lohan"

You certainly are....

Rofl if this is the "way of the future" is time to save the present xDDDDDDD...JUMP LINDSAY JUMP!!!!!!!

Why doesn't she realize that if the tabloids stopped "defaming her character", people wouldn't be talking about her at all???

Celebs always bitch about the gossip rags, and are never willing to admit that they IMPROVE their career. Once a celeb is out of the rags, well, it's a lonely place to be.

And, anyway, if she doesn't want to be famous, move to fucking Greece or something and buy a villa and stop making PR announcements about AA and god knows what else. You can't have your cake and eat it, too, Lohan - either the rags report the good, bad, and the ugly, or they report nothing at all.

At least when she's wearing tissue boxes on her feet she'll have some nicer shoes for a change.

P.S. WAY OF THE FUTURRRE!

*wiggling fingers in a mysterious fashion*

(I'm torn now - I so want this to become a catchphrase, but then that'd mean she's actually contributed something to popular culture)

There is no way in hell this little tart can write so much from a fucking blackberry. I consider myself a tech geek and I've got one of those damn Motorola Qs that makes it feel like I am typing on a pop tart and I still don't know how to make anything but the first letter of any sentence a capital letter when I send emails from it. And it also makes me feel like I have 80 year old grandma, claw- fingers after typing more than 2 sentences.

I believe the words are hers, but she definitely dictated to a servant. She would have typed this up with a bunch of "u's", "u r's" and random sentences about how good bunny rabbits taste with fun dip & wine.

LINDSAY: Opionions is not spelled oppinions.

*oopsies, forgive me, opinions [typo].

The penis mightier than the sword.

Gussy it up any way you want, #106. What matter is... well, I don't think mine could GET any longer. Not without having to buy a completely new wardrobe, anyway.

Lets back this crazy train up a hot second...I'm not sure Howard Hughes even said that, who REALLY said that was Leo in the movie ABOUT Howard Hughes...because it was in the script. And, if you haven't seen it, it is the point where Howard Hughes is going off on an OCD tangent, he repeats the line over and over because of his disability (mentally trying to get it 'just right'). Way to go Linds, is that all you got out of the movie?

My friends and I use that line when we want to make fun of new technology and seem crazy at the same time: 'playstation 3? it's the way of the future...way of the future...WAY OF THE FUTURE'

He also said in the movie 'come in with the milk...COME IN WITH THE MILK.' So that is the title of my newest letter to Al Gore.

And speaking of Al Gore helping her? It's like Batman and Robin! To the Prius-mobile!

Linsday Lohan: An Inconvenient Truth

chill babe
saw lr unreal
but there's a fuckin'
18 wheeler truck
and its coming right for you : )

Lohan might want to avoid accessorizing with delusions of grandeur for a little while.

"In putting an end to 'these people' trying to put an end to me and belittle me as well as try to be the demise of me after all I've gone through and done at such a young and tender age in a womans life."

ONE; That is the BIGGEST heap of run-on gibberish i've ever seen in my life.

and TWO; you can't be "belittled" when you're already making yourself out to be a dumbass.

Someone PLEASE take her blackberry away and in exchange, give her a lobotomy.

Despite what someone upthread said, I'm still enjoying Lohan news. Paris news is sorta boring but Lindsay Lohan is still interestingly effed up. Paris keeps her idiotic public statements relatively short and somewhat coherent. Stupid, but coherent. But Lindsay's are like her brain vomiting all over us. Both amusing and terrifying.

Having said that, her writing is not unlike a lot of other people's in this country (young and old, college-educated and not). I have read the writing of college-educated business people that was barely more coherent than Lohan's and those people get paid to be coherent. People can't fucking spell, punctuate, compose, etc. They write the way they talk - very, very badly. They get everything they know off TV and IM, so of course they sound like idiots when they speak and talk. Not excusing Lohan's really quite shameful ignorance, but it doesn't surprise me.

The children are our future - we are seriously fucked.

Duh shaw... I meant "... so of course they sound like idiots when they speak and WRITE."

Sorry - guess something like that was bound to happen.

#112 - No, no... the children are the WAY of the future.

But I'm with you - I've not wearied of hearing about her antics yet. But I'm pretty sure that's because the little darling keeps upping the ante for us. Just when you thought it couldn't get any more warped, she trumps herself.

"And now, Ms Lohan will perform her next feat of stupid at 100 feet up through 3 flaming hoops... without the aid of a net or the English language!"

I gotta admit, she's right about being an entertainer, because I keep lapping this shit up like it were sweetened condensed milk.

I've met someone who talked and wrote like LL, and that person was a coke-head. Snort a few too many lines and that will do that to you! Hyperactivity, verbosity, rapid skinnyifying...yup, all signs of cokage. That, and ditching school to do Hollywood up the ass.

I'm really amused by everyone's comments. It seems like tabloid readers aren't all fat household wives. Most of us (I'm assuming) seem fairly well educated. Though, I think a lot of us tend to overgeneralize. LL being stupid =/= the rest of our country being stupid. Mind you that she didn't bother to become well educated when she was already making big bucks at the age of 16. Sad. But then again, if she weren't bratty and stupid, then who would we depend on to entertain us?? Natalie Portman? Prince William? Pass me my pillow.

... she wrote that whole thing on a Blackberry?

She's a real life walking talking colostomy bag. Anything and everything she does is complete shit.

will somebody just get this Biotch a muzzle and a goooood kick in her FAT, hooka, ass.

Wow... I'm REALLY glad we have someone like HER to help teach us the way of the future...

Now, I would really like to see her press conference. I've been kind of blue lately and... well, I think that would just cheer me me up faster then anything else on the planet.

#108

I prefer:

"Lindsay Lohan: An Inadequite Truth"

#115
I'm not here because I'm stupid.
I'm here to make sure you're not stupid.
(Well,ok, and a general internet related boredom)

Waiting for the porn downloads etc.

(Just kidding ladies ... I mean it this time....)

I think it's funny she thinks she has a positive impact on society. If any impact at all, it's teaching children exactly who not to be.

Did anyone actually read it all the way through? I honestly tried, but I gave up halfway. It's just so.... Words fail me. It's sort of a bastard mix of rambles, run-on sentences, fragments, and spelling that isn't just bad, it's practically criminal.

It's not even good in a stream-of-consciousness way - which is how I tried to approach it. Her thoughts are really very hard for me to follow. Is it possible that she was on something or under the influence when she wrote this?

I really, really, REALLY hope that kids don't read her vomititious writing and think that it's okay to write like that.

I gave my remedial English students an extra credit assignment of cleaning up her last public letter. It made them feel really smart. I wish that I was joking.

Oh my god. She's actually retarded. I think the stress is really getting to her. It can't be easy to be simultaneously meth-addled and alcohol-bloated. Who could handle that kind of pressure!

Stop complaining, people. I think she's an absolutely adequite human being and you're all just jealous.

Oh my God! In my "oppinion" she's a dumb as a pile of broken bricks and twice as useless! She needs a reality check. She's not as important or as influential as she thinks.

what a damn idiot. i mean really, what a damn idiot. has she forgotten we live in the land of "freedom of speech"? just because she's coo coo does not mean she can go all sue happy...and to think, there are normal people in this country with legitimate claims to sue someone or some company, and they can't find an attorney to take their cases, and yet this pathetic waste of sperm can sue for getting her feelings hurt.

Ms. Lohan, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Years ago when some silly supermodel started talking politics and business, someone asked "Since when did supermodels start talking?"

Lohan should take a hint and only talk about her new project, her new Malibu beachhouse, or her new Euro-trash boyfriend. Other than that, she should keep quiet if she values her career.

We've all made fun of LL- and rightly so, yet how many slack-jawed, drooling fucktards do we all know that get their politics from the likes of Barbara Streisand, George Clooney and Poofy Combs?
Celebrities talk like their opinions matter because somewhere along the line the ignorant unwashed masses followed their lead.
our fault.

and with that said, just waiting for the overdose and mea culpas on Oprah and The View

PS- as an English teacher myself, I am amazed at how many of us are here on the fish.
huzzah

LASmog - right on. That is coke-head talk right there.

133 - i minored in english and specialized in creative writing. this [superfish] is a great place to be for using our education to make fun of the uneducated --when work gets too boring or you need a break from reading about the depressing-assed war in Iraq.

134- much agreed. when I have read the last worst essay I can stomach for the day (yes, that phrasing was intentional), I sneak a peek (or an hour) and enjoy laughing at public 'tards.
I'm also an attorney... so this is ALWAYS more entertaining. My students at least make me laugh occasionally... clients just make me hurl.

Hey, Nixon, calm the fuck down.

Can you blame Lindsay? These incoherent, retirement-home ramblings are the direct result of your manager/daddy hiring his coke-dealer to be your on-set tutor when you're 9 and doing the parent trap or whatever the hell it was...
"At 'recess' today daddy and my tutor, Tony-G, went into my trailer to go over my lines. When he come out and get mad at mommy and hit her on the face. Tony-G say was a 'bitch slap'..."
Eventually they'll kick Lindsay outta AA, based on the fact that she sounds hammered when she talks.

I swear, my 5 yr old writes better than that!

What a fucking retard. This girl has not a shred of respectability left in my eyes, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. She used to be cute before she turned into a turd sniffing crack ho.

I used to not think much of her. But now, I see that she has the power to lead her people to the promised land! By "her people" I mean coked-out, washed up whores with IQs below 80.

Viva la revolution!

http://www.papparelli.com/

#12 your a god...i was thinking it but you said it....

She wrote that book on a blackberry?

No one is that focused. Coked up or not.

\me calls BULLSHIT.

I like how she plans to enlist Al Gore and Bill Clinton in a historic campaign to stop tabloids from making fun of her. Like Gore will get her letter and be, "Fuck Global Warming, we gotta stop these tabloids from poking fun at celebrities! Clinton, you in?"

Clinton: "You're right Gore, this is the greatest threat to our nation's well being since 9/11. Sometimes got to save Lohan, and we're the only ones with the power to do it!"

What a great plan. Next time someone makes fun of me I'm calling up ex-President Jimmy Carter for help.

i'm starting to feel really bad for the girl. She obviously is crazy beyond her publicists control and to watch her continue to embarrasses herself is downright painful. I think if i was her mother i’d force her to go plant trees in Oregon for year & get her head straight.

Congrats Linds... XTC has officially fried your brain.

gotta love it. She could prob. make a movie about being in the special olympics now, and luckily for everyone, it wouldn't require her "acting"...

She's naturally special.

-jess

It was great to see Amy and Darrell Hammond rip Lohan up on SNL Weekend Update last night. Lohan's poison by association, anymore.

"...after all I've gone through and done at such a young and tender age in a womans life."

WTF? I am so sick of reading her magazine interviews because of this exact sort of shit. Every single time, without fail, she'll go on and on about how experienced and worldly she is, and how she has experienced more than most people do in an entire lifetime. I've even heard her call herself an "old soul." HA! GET OVER YOURSELF BITCH. The more a person has to insist that they're great, the more I'm convinced that they're a total moron.

She was so high when she wrote that. Unfortunately, I can tell from experience. I still can't believe that hairy little monkey, Mike Heller, is actually a lawyer now.

Her breakdown is just around the corner. She's crusing so high and staying up for nights in a row. I say within the next month she will have a complete melt down. If she wasn't such a bitch I would feel sorry for her. She seems so paranoid and on edge right now. Ms. Lohan's train is about to derail.

#147
The only thing that's missing from this flatulent litany is the term "survivor". If she starts beating THAT overused drum then it's game over.

However, dressing in a garbage bag to save the cleanup crew some effort is considerate.

Al Gore, save me! I don't think it is fair for so many women to laugh at my tiny penis. I tried praying to Jesus, but my little pecker is still limp! JUST ASK! Hillary, Bill, Oprah, Democrats, what can I do about my aggressive circumcision? Republicans won't help me.

I'm not adequite.

Hopefully, this will be the last entry about her EVER AGAIN.

Goodbye, Lindsay. Nice forgetting you!

FYI fellow Lohan fans: According to that bastion of integrity, Page Six of the New York Post, the mysterious "LR" mentioned by Linds above is none other than her former Personal Assistant, Lindsay Ratowsky.

As it happens, LR is now Jessica Biel's PA, & the 2 were out together @ the recent GQ Men of the Year awards dinner. When LL arrived & saw LR there, PG 6 claims she "started screaming, 'If she stays, I'm outta here! I can't look at that girl! I can't believe you would allow an assistant in here - she doesn't belong in here!"

Now what LL did not "scream" but hints at in her letter, according to PG 6 she suspects Ratowsky of being the dirty rat behind a recent tabloid article accusing our dear heroine of a drug overdose.

OK, enough of that tattle tale & onto MY response to the above letter. Our Lindsay, the one & only that is, is right - Mean people suck. Slander HURTS. Jealousy is ugly. & LL ought to know, having recently been awarded the 2nd most hated-on Hollywood celeb, behind only Satan's # 1 superstar cheerleader/Pandora's Box herself, Paris Hilton.

Take it fr 70's rock star/lead singer of The J Geils Band Peter Wolf, when he tells the truth Ruth, in his live intro to "Musta Got Lost": "Well, she opens up the door & then you just kinda walk up to her & say 'Baby, say Baby.' You look up, way up @ her green mascara & you say, 'Oh my darling, you know her & me was @ the party as friends - do not believe what they say, that's only gossip that they tellin' ya - a wise crack o' lies!'"

I say baby, celebrate our celebrities! & power to the people who speak out, freak out, reach out to inspire change. For if only the media would cease spreading ugly rumors about our stars, & desist fr telling lies that are spoon-fed to them by our government. & if only people would care to pay more attention to & investigate themselves as much as they can of what's really happening here. Then maybe someday we might stop hating & hurting each other so much, stop starting wars based on lies like the mess we made of Iraq. Maybe babies.

BTW funny kidding of LL on Lohangroupie.com by eugene: "I admire Lindsay for her ability to use a blackberry while slamming back shots of colourful, faintly-familiar liquids while forgetting to put on her underwear. I wish I could multitask as well as her! Kudos Lindsay! Finally, a celebrity who knows what a run-on sentence is and liberally uses it!"

& a smart comeback fr LG's bebe: "She's typing on a freaking Blackberry...jeez."

Finally I must say I just LOVE how Linds signs off: "Your entertainer, Lindsay Lohan." -- Can I get a, HELL YEAH! I tell you what darlings, she IS The People's Entertainer.

The more they hate on you, the more I can't help but love you. Your fans understand & we're w/you all the way. Let them all talk. Lindsay rocks, BS walks. Don't let the bastards grind you down, girl. LOHANARCHY for the USA!

Explaining the identity of LR misses the point. Explain how LL has an effect on younger and older generations. Why? What did she ever do?

You couldn't possibly love her any more than she loves herself. She's not an entertainer, she's a performer. She's easily replaced by computer animation.

@153: Lindsay, is that you??

The rambling nonsensical writing would indicate so.

PS: there are no "fellow Lohan fans" here you fucking tool box.

I HONESTLY feel so bad for Her. I mean the poor girl has obviously fallen into a dark whole, for the whole world to see. It just isn't fair. I am sure we've all at one point or another felt just as lost as she does, and I hate to say it, it IS the damn "people" who did this to her! I HOPE she finds her way, I PRAY she finds her way. LEAVE her the FUCK alone, she doesn't deserve this! Anyways whoever gives her the time a day, cares in some way wether it be good or bad, so Hell, give it up already. GO get a Fucking life and leave hers alone!!!!

154 - Techclerk asks me how Lindsay has had an effect on younger & older generations? I never said that she has had an effect, but in fact, she has.

There are 157 comments already on here for starters on just this one topic alone. Now she may not be pushing the envelope the way you'd like because she's too busy tearing it & herself a new one in the process. Why are all these folks hating on her except perhaps that something about her gets right up their noses?

She's growing up & throwing up & blowing up in public - she's only 20 years old & she's waving her right to remain silent. She's saying hell no to a world where, in the words of the Clash, "you grow up & you calm down, working for the clampdown." She's letting her freak flag fly high & the whole world's tuning in even if they're not really listening because their minds are nowhere near as eyes wide open as hers. She's grappling to come to sense w/a life full of endless possibilities & dead-ends, searching for kicks & truths that somehow mesh.

Seems to me you must all be jealous as hell because no one notices your successes & failures on such a grand scale, because if they did you wouldn't be so angry about hers. How can she be wasting your time if it is so damn valuable? But somehow you have so much time available to slam & wish a young girl dead. It's called misogyny & it's pathetic.

Techclerk says "she's not an entertainer, she's a performer." Au contraire, mon frere. She's keeping all you folks plenty entertained right here & now. She may not be you're kind of entertainer. You may not be ready for her. Not yet. She's moving too fast for you for now, but someday...

Re: 156 ImmaAssClown commented about my previous rant... "Lindsay is that you?" Cute.

You say you're an English teacher in 133 but the best name-calling you could come up w/is to call me a "fucking tool box"? Like, what does that mean anyway? Man, I wish I was one, now that I think about it. For those long steamy nights when there's nothing up my sleeve. BTW, do you teach English at the Voc?

What do I know? I do know there are no "fellow Lohan fans" here, except maybe Julia, but I like to bug ya like Lindsay does. It's all good.

I'm just a blog member of The Superficial. Superficially wounding the superceleb-babe haters in their own backyard Barbi-cue. It's all about the infiltration & penetration & pulling out before breeding so we can all breathe. Because there's already way too many superceleb-babe haters on this overpopulated planet. It's all about bringing it on & then sending them straight to hell in this total war on global warming...

Lindsay has a boundless imagination that's moving so fast her words can barely keep up w/her. She's a poet & she don't know it, a stream of consciousness going against the tide of the new war order of celebrity where you say you all wish she'd shut the hell up but then you'd have nothing left to whine about but your own boring lives. She's the second most hated-on celebrity & heavy is the crown. So rock on, sweet princess.

In the words of the GD, LL may be "going to hell in a bucket, but at least I'M enjoying the ride."

http://www.myspace.com/thewaymouth

omg!! "thewaymouth".. seriously dude.. just shut the fuck up.. nobody cares what you think. "She's a poet & she don't know it" that just cracked me up dude!!! lol "I can't believe you would allow an assistant in here - she doesn't belong in here!" did lindsay really said that?? how snob is that!! "For if only the media would cease spreading ugly rumors about our stars" God!! everyone knows she's doing drugs and sleeping around, it's so obvious!! there are pictures and videos of her behavior!!! and if everyone hates her it's her own fault. "Satan's # 1 superstar cheerleader/Pandora's Box herself, Paris Hilton" mmm.. you said that about paris and yet you're criticizing those talking shit about lindsay.. pleasee!!! what about that thing about "stop hating each other" you just said, "..maybe someday we might stop hating & hurting each other so much, stop starting wars based on lies like the mess we made of Iraq" yes, no more war!! no more hating & hurting each other!! but dude.. I bet lindsay doesn't know anything about Iraq, I mean.. she's walking around with her $4000 alligator leather handbags.. I don't see her doing the humanitarian work angelina does or something like that.. she's just trash dude and she is a bad role-model for teenagers with no concern for the world