Possibly no new posts until Monday
Hey guys a family emergency has come up and I have to leave the country very suddenly. I don't know if I'll have internet access so I might not be able to update for the rest of the week. If I do end up posting just ignore this, otherwise there might not be anything new until Monday. Although if something awesome happens like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have a pistol duel then by golly I'll build my own internet network out of coconuts and post about it. Or I'll fail miserably and end up with five very unusable coconuts. Six if I'm ambitious.
Britney Spears shows her crotch again
Britney Spears seems intent on finding out what the human limit of flashing your beaver is. This is the second night in a row and the third time in one week she's been photographed without panties on. I figure she's decided to become a nudist and this is her way of transitioning everybody into it. By next week she'll lose the dress and by the week after she'll be doing naked jumping jacks down the street.
More of Britney after the jump, including a NSFW closeup of the same thing you've already seen before.
Nov 29 2006Britney Spears' boobs are out of control
If I was Britney Spears' left boob I'd try to make a break for it too. You'd be better off hitching a ride on a crashing plane than this human train wreck.
More of Britney Spears' boobs yearning for freedom after the jump.
Nov 29 2006Pamela Anderson doesn't like reading about herself
Pamela Anderson has made a plea on her official website for the press to lay off her divorce with Kid Rock because her children can read and she'd like to resolve the divorce "amicably... and with dignity." She writes:
I'm very concerned with the press on mine and Bob's divorce. I know I have people who want to defend me or people who want to defend Bob, but my children can read - and I'd like to resolve this amicably - not fueling fires - and with dignity.
Kids don't know the difference between fact and tabloid …does anybody?
Truth is Bob is great in many ways - we just don't belong together...we mutually agree. I love my children, he loves his son...we both have wonderful family and friends as support going thru this time.
I didn't know Pamela Anderson was capable of doing anything with dignity. I mean this is how she protests fur. She gets naked the way regular people wash their hands. The only way her kids could be any more embarrassed of her is if she cupped their genitals in public. And even then it'd almost be a tie with every other day.
Nov 29 2006Kevin Federline cheated on Britney Spears with a porn star
Star magazine claims Kevin Federline was having an affair with former porn star Kendra Jade a month before Britney Spears filed for divorce from him. The two met in Las Vegas in December 2005 while Britney was visiting her family in Lousiana and apparently stayed in touch to have sex.
"Kev and Kendra had sex at their friends' apartment multiple times, starting in early October," a source told the tab. "Their friend would phone Kendra and a few other girls to come hang out, and it would always end up with Kevin and Kendra heading off to the spare bedroom!" Now that K-Fed is a single guy, will he and Jade become a couple? Not likely, says the source, explaining, "They're just friends who have sex." When contacted for comment by Star, Jade said only, "I'm in a committed relationship."
Besides the fact that it's Star reporting, I find it tough to believe anybody would use Kevin Federline for sex. A human toilet maybe, even a trash can. But sex? That'd be like using Lindsay Lohan to cheat on the SAT's. Which sounds like a good plan until you find out you scored so low they've sentenced you to death.
Nov 29 2006Lindsay Lohan kicked out of the big girl's club
Looks like this harrowing saga just keeps going. Sunday evening Lindsay claimed Paris hit her with a drink at a house party, saying:
"[Paris Hilton] hit me last night for no reason, apparently, at my friend's house, and I didn't know she'd be there, and she hit me, and she hit me with a drink and poured it all over me, and it hurts, and it's not okay."
Then Monday morning she was seen with Britney and Paris outside the Beverly Hills Hotel and changed her story to:
"Paris never hit me. She's my friend. Everyone lies about everything. ... Please, stop trying to make us hate each other."
And now it's being reported that later that same day the two blew up at each other at Hyde, with Paris yelling at Lindsay:
"You're a fucking coked-out whore; don't ever say you're my friend again!"
And as Paris and Britney headed back to Paris's house after the incident, paparazzi recorded someone who sounds like Paris screaming:
"Tell that Firecrotch she's no longer welcome!"
I've run out of things to say about these three so I put up a shot of Britney and Paris looking about as close to lesbian lovers as is possible without tongue kissing.
Nov 29 2006Cameron Diaz talks about marriage, her new nose
On yesterday's Ellen, Cameron Diaz explained she's too scared of committment to marry Justin Timeberlake even though they've been dating for four years. And last night on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno she talked about her nose job, saying she got it because she couldn't breathe out of her right nostril after breaking her nose several times from surfing.
"It's not cosmetic, it's for breathing purposes," she told Leno. "They're going to go in and fix the bone so the deviated septum is no longer blocked." She insisted "you won't notice... it's not cosmetic."
What's weird is that she talks about the surgery in the future tense even though she's already gotten it. And even weirder? That the scientific community hasn't officially classified her mouth as a black hole yet.
Nov 28 2006Linsday Lohan is just plain stupid
Lindsay Lohan is upset at whoever is spreading rumors Paris Hilton hit her with a drink over the weekend. Unfortunately, that ass clown would be herself. As she was getting into a car with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears on Sunday she told paparazzi:
"Paris never hit me. She's my friend. Everyone lies about everything. ... Please, stop trying to make us hate each other."
Yet only twelve hours earlier she was telling the paparazzi:
"[Paris Hilton] hit me last night for no reason, apparently, at my friend's house, and I didn't know she'd be there, and she hit me, and she hit me with a drink and poured it all over me, and it hurts, and it's not okay."
I've known mice that are smarter than this. And I'm not talking about super genius mutant mice either. I'm talking about the stupid ones. The ones who couldn't make it through the maze and decided they'd just lie there and try to eat their own tails instead.
