October 9, 2006
Paris Hilton confuses the eyes
IMAGE REMOVED
There's not a single part of Paris Hilton's outfit here that makes sense. And the shoes. My God, the shoes. I don't even know if you're supposed to call them shoes because it looks like she pushed over some crippled kid and stole his leg braces. And I wouldn't recommend staring at them for too long for fear you might lose your grip on reality. I was trying to figure them out for like 5 minutes and now I hear scratches coming from the attic and I think my lamp just said "Good morning" to me.
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Comments
1. Posted by RichPort on October 9, 2006 8:20 AM
Taking fashion advice from Posh and Aaron Carter usually results in a fucking mess.
2. Posted by Brain Embolism on October 9, 2006 8:23 AM
She's being followed by a moon-shadow... moon-shadow, moon-shadow.
3. Posted by Zeebrat on October 9, 2006 8:24 AM
Is it just me, or does she look like Aaron Carter... with bigger shoulders.
4. Posted by CelebSlam.com on October 9, 2006 8:25 AM
Those things look like ski-boots
http://www.celebslam.com
5. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 9, 2006 8:25 AM
Paris Gump: Momma always says there's an awful lot you could tell about a person by their shoes. Where they're going. Where they've been. I've worn lots of shoes. I bet if I think about it real hard I could remember my first pair of shoes.
My momma said my back's crooked like a question mark. These are going to make me as straight as an arrow. They're my magic shoes.....................
6. Posted by cocobongo on October 9, 2006 8:28 AM
apparently shanna moakler's punch did more damage than initially thought...
7. Posted by slantingthroughdarkness on October 9, 2006 8:29 AM
I think Paris has plain quit trying.
http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com
8. Posted by iburl on October 9, 2006 8:30 AM
Pantaloons, 1970's painter's goggles, hideously printed wife beater, Ché hat, Jai Lai Boots. Satan is a hard bargainer.
9. Posted by HeyItsJeanine on October 9, 2006 8:30 AM
Come on guys, we all know once you're this rich...I mean, its just inevitable...you're gonna have to spring for the 100% pure Penguin kicks. I myself, choose to rock pink baby seal...but ya know, every rich fuck is different. We're like snowflakes really. Now if youll excuse me, I have to make some pants using the lining of my guitar case...
10. Posted by technicalfoul on October 9, 2006 8:34 AM
Oompa loompa doompa dee doo.
I've got another puzzle for you......
11. Posted by Tai! on October 9, 2006 8:37 AM
wow
that is a man in everyway.
Paris hilton is no looker.
but if that is her.
she is lucky she has money
because.
thoseare the shoulders of a linebacker
she wears a size 11 shoe,[ALL her shoes are custom made]
nose that looks broken,
awkward neck,
and no tits.
fuckly
fucking lucky.
12. Posted by Tha-Flash on October 9, 2006 8:40 AM
Fake. It's not her. Doesn't even look ilke her.
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13. Posted by ApacheRose on October 9, 2006 8:44 AM
@12- You have WAY too much time on your hands.
Personally, I don't care if it's Paris or not. Fugly is fugly- your average insane homeless man dresses better than that. That someone, ANYONE, would voluntarily be seen in that outfit is just awesome.
14. Posted by Karen Rani on October 9, 2006 8:47 AM
That doesn't even look like her. If it is, where's her people? Her people should be around to dress her, and pick her jaw up off the floor. Close yer mouth honey, yer attractin' dem dere flies again!
15. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on October 9, 2006 8:56 AM
Okay, let me explain. See, I bet her that she couldn't act like a caring, decent person. She lost.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
16. Posted by Brain Embolism on October 9, 2006 8:58 AM
She looks like Kid Rock, only more manly.
Hi Apache!
17. Posted by commissioner on October 9, 2006 9:03 AM
Those duds came from Carrot Top's bathroom floor.
She should have looked harder for her own clothes.
18. Posted by Adult Underoos on October 9, 2006 9:04 AM
can we please get the CSI guy to punch her in the gut too? pretty please?
hippo underpants --> http://www.funderpants.com
19. Posted by PJ in PA on October 9, 2006 9:08 AM
So when my sister let's my nephew get his way and pick out his own clothes, this is pretty much the outfit he goes with. Either Paris Hilton has the fashion sense of a 3 year old boy or my nephew will be a future stylist to the stars.
20. Posted by PJ in PA on October 9, 2006 9:13 AM
On the few occassions my sister let's my nephew pick out his clothes for the day, this is pretty much the ensemble he comes up with.
Which means either Paris Hilton has the fashion sense of a three year old boy or my nephew is destined to become a sylist to the stars.
21. Posted by ImmaAssClown on October 9, 2006 9:17 AM
Oh c'mon people... she is banging Travis Barker now. This is her attempt to fit in with his "punk" friends.
Attempt failed.
22. Posted by IHatePhiladelphia on October 9, 2006 9:18 AM
#20 PJ in PA- So what your really saying is your three year old nephew is destined to be a butt-fucked homosexual?
They're the worst kind.
23. Posted by I Fucked Your Honor Student on October 9, 2006 9:24 AM
#19, #20
Two comments saying the same thing and either way you said it, it still sucked.
I can't wait until your nephew is an honor student!
24. Posted by biatcho on October 9, 2006 9:26 AM
Oh great, now you're making fun of crippled kids, Mr. Fish. Be prepared for more bleeding heart liberals to attack you about that! I can understand making fun of rape but crippled kids... sheesh!
25. Posted by jrzmommy on October 9, 2006 9:41 AM
She's trying out for the re-make of "Heidi"....Starring Paris Hilton as Clara.
26. Posted by llllllllll on October 9, 2006 9:43 AM
Well, the chest area looks like Paris' alright and this person definatly have the jaw thing going but the tippy toe bow legs look is really killing me here.
27. Posted by llllllllll on October 9, 2006 9:47 AM
grrr I get sooo FRUSTRATED when I post and then realise there are errors!!!!! why do I always forget to proof read before posting!!!!!!!!!
28. Posted by combustion8 on October 9, 2006 9:49 AM
anything to take away from her ugly chicken face.
29. Posted by biatcho on October 9, 2006 9:55 AM
what's up with the David Cassidy circa Partridge Family hair?
30. Posted by Binky on October 9, 2006 10:09 AM
That's Axl Rose.
And judging from his arms -it looks like he's started working out.
31. Posted by Wampoon.com on October 9, 2006 10:32 AM
Gangsta! Are those boxing shoes? Daayam I want me a pur of those.
http://wampoon.com
32. Posted by ChevelleOnDubs on October 9, 2006 10:52 AM
Unless Paris had Aaron's legs and arms attached to her torso, this is totally photoshopped. Come on people, we have enough to make fun of without imagining her as a mutant.
33. Posted by klm123 on October 9, 2006 11:24 AM
that's a dude.
34. Posted by ElatedPornStar on October 9, 2006 11:27 AM
Wow, what a cunt.
There, I've thrown in my two cents. Oh well, back to porn.
35. Posted by jrzmommy on October 9, 2006 11:37 AM
she sudddenly looks very buff.
36. Posted by edb87 on October 9, 2006 11:45 AM
I don't know whether to punch her or go skiing with her. I've got it! Punch her WHILE skiing! I'm genius!
http://www.edquartersaudio.com
37. Posted by Brain Embolism on October 9, 2006 12:47 PM
@29 biatcho - I remember Keith Partridges hair. It was parted in the middle and rose up about three inches, then it feathered down to his shoulders.
I so wanted my hair like that, but alas, alls I ever got was a crew-cut.
38. Posted by ValeWolf on October 9, 2006 12:47 PM
#5 - LOL.
You guys are losers. Didn't you know that the Timmy look is the new vintage? DUH!
39. Posted by biatcho on October 9, 2006 1:42 PM
#37 - I so wanted Keith Partridge's head buried in my crotch when I was 6, but alas, I settled for Ricky Schroeder instead.
40. Posted by apriluofa on October 9, 2006 2:01 PM
They look like boxing shoes. Maybe she's getting ready for the next woman that feels like punching her... It has to be something she comes across often.
41. Posted by whackjob on October 9, 2006 2:32 PM
For the benefit of you poor fashion-challenged cretins: surely you must know this was what Paris saw at the D & G show last week and just had to have.
No wait, she was stoned on cheap, bad weed and thought that's what she saw. No wait, she's a dumb tard with Carter DNA working it's way through her. Personally, I hope the herpes fight a valiant effort against the dreaded Carterflavins and ooze the detritus out her vulvaic pores.
42. Posted by Mandi Rewis on October 9, 2006 5:52 PM
No.... fucking.... way.....
43. Posted by jenigirl103 on October 9, 2006 6:51 PM
Channeling Travis Barker...Travis Barker can you hear me????
It looks as if she tied him up and stole his clothes.
44. Posted by ER on October 9, 2006 7:30 PM
Oh wow, this outfit is a complete fashion travesty!
45. Posted by trey on October 9, 2006 10:10 PM
Those are LAMB Love Boots actually.
http://www.lambshoes.com/cgi-bin/lamb/store/product_detail.html?id=LMswEVn3&mv_arg=x&pid=9470:104
Yours for the low cost of $200.
46. Posted by James on October 10, 2006 2:32 AM
Every single picture we see of Paris has that freaking SLR in the background. Staged maybe?
47. Posted by Rattlesnake on October 10, 2006 6:38 AM
It looks to me like one of two things happened here:
1. She had an 80's "Nostalgia weekend" and watched old WWF videos. She's obviously trying to dress like Koko B. Ware. She did an amazing job.
2. She lost some type of bet with Stevie Wonder in which he, being the winner of said bet, was allowed to pick out what she wore for the day.
...OR....my personal favorite, she's just too fucking stupid to know any better. There aren't enough brain cells up there for her to talk on her cell phone and get dressed at the same time. Obvious we know which one won out. What an oxygen thief...
48. Posted by peanutbuttercrotch on October 10, 2006 10:41 AM
That's not Paris Hilton, It's a man, baby...*tries to take off the assumed wig and fails* Oops!
49. Posted by BoognishRising on October 10, 2006 11:21 AM
She has hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she has an Adam's apple as big as her balls.
50. Posted by LaydeeBug on October 16, 2006 5:02 PM
Cool shoes!