October 5, 2006
Jessica Biel might be Gumby
If you've ever wondered how Jessica Biel gets her body apparently it's by training like she's gonna try out for Cirque du Soleil. She was spotted working out outside Pro Gym in Brentwood doing whatever the heck it is she's doing up there. I mean Jesus, I'm pretty familiar with the gym but I've never seen anybody work out like that before in my life. At least she'll be prepared if she ever needs to pick up a quarter while simultaneously roundhouse kicking the person standing behind her. And really, that situation comes up like three times a week. At least.
A super duper amount more of Jessica Biel working out after the jump.
Previous Entries
» Carrot Top and the Carter brothers are boggling my mind» Jude Law and Sienna Miller get drunk together
» Eva Longoria has fancy shoes
» Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner break up
» Britney Spears makes some safety adjustments
Comments
1. Posted by Ruby on October 5, 2006 2:06 PM
first! yipppppeeeeeee
2. Posted by Jacq on October 5, 2006 2:08 PM
All this time I haven't been working out because the gym is too expensive. I never knew I was such a sucker! The sidewalk is free - WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!
Oh yeah, that's why... Because I'm young, have high, firm titties and I don't need to work out.
3. Posted by bornaconstance on October 5, 2006 2:09 PM
now all she needs is pokey as a sidekick. maybe Matthew McConaughey
4. Posted by Jacq on October 5, 2006 2:09 PM
Is she about to blow that guy? What CAN'T you do on a sidewalk?
5. Posted by Shaun on October 5, 2006 2:10 PM
Yay! It's Jessica Biel. Anyways.
6. Posted by saturnswirls on October 5, 2006 2:17 PM
wow.. all i need to have a body like that is a rubber ball and a parking meter? screw you bally's!
7. Posted by crystalballseesall on October 5, 2006 2:19 PM
@4 She's got a big smile on her face looking right at his crotch. She's either smiling because she's happy to blow him or laughing because she can't find it.
8. Posted by slantingthroughdarkness on October 5, 2006 2:19 PM
Great talent to have if you're a plumber.
http://slam-cut.blogspot.com
9. Posted by gatorbates on October 5, 2006 2:33 PM
Wow. I'd eat a bowl full of her diarreah.
F'ing H O T.
10. Posted by TheDarkLady on October 5, 2006 2:41 PM
That isn't something she could have done at home?
We need to nip this trend in the bud, people. Do you really want to see photos of Paris or Kate Bosworth working out on a sidewalk like this? You all know that Superfish would post each and every eye-searing one of them.
11. Posted by sharkbite on October 5, 2006 2:41 PM
At least it appears she earns her body, rather than starves it. She might do both.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
12. Posted by Madrid Marriott on October 5, 2006 2:43 PM
There are snarky things that I could say, but really all of that is overshadowed by one clear fact: I truly would like to have my way with her. Thanks.
13. Posted by Holy Candy on October 5, 2006 2:45 PM
I guess after The Illusionist flopped, she couldn't afford a gym membership anymore.
www.HolyCandy.com
14. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 5, 2006 2:48 PM
I knew she got a Brazilian wax, but I didn't know she knew Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. This is the bitch that should have got a hold of Paris. I'd pay to see that shit..............
15. Posted by BigJim on October 5, 2006 2:54 PM
I just came.
Oh, and I call bullshit on the SF guy being "pretty familiar with the gym."
Guys who are familiar with the gym look like this: http://profiles.yahoo.com/therealbigjim68
They don't call me BigJim because of the size of my wang.
16. Posted by Haroof on October 5, 2006 2:56 PM
Why do these moron celebrities continue to work out RIGHT outside their gyms??
Are they really that gd starved for press??
Especially that lesbo Biel. It's not like she's a nobody who never gets in People or Us.
Pathetic.
17. Posted by TinMan on October 5, 2006 2:58 PM
Yay, Jessica! She looks great and healthy women are very attractive!!
18. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on October 5, 2006 3:11 PM
I need to run a scam like this.
Step 1 - Super hot girl comes to my "gym."
Step 2 - Super hot girl writes me a check.
Step 3 - Send super hot girl out to the sidewalk to work out.
Step 4 - Cash the check and run like a banshee with diarhea.
19. Posted by fro0ty on October 5, 2006 3:15 PM
she is the hottest grumpy i know!
playpacman.net
20. Posted by CelebSlam.com on October 5, 2006 3:23 PM
I think I just touched myself
http://www.celebslam.com
21. Posted by c on October 5, 2006 3:23 PM
omg, could you imagine having sex with her? i need to start going to her gym.
http://popanalysis.blogspot.com
22. Posted by bigponie on October 5, 2006 3:31 PM
hey superfish dude, I need a closeup of her tat and while your at it, I need a closeup of her cunt also.
get to it, chop chop...
23. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on October 5, 2006 3:33 PM
I think she is trying to do a cartwheel, someone should show her how to do it properly. Geez.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
24. Posted by LilRach on October 5, 2006 4:01 PM
Why is this girl forever exercising on the side walk???
I like this chick but geez! Something i can't stand is when i'm driving down the road and you see some jogger that's doing their strectches right there in front of everyone! Aren't you meant to stretch before you go out to exercise???
Bloody posers.
25. Posted by mrs.t on October 5, 2006 4:13 PM
I would encourage my husband to hit that, just so I could watch that ass in motion.
26. Posted by Guy-Pierre on October 5, 2006 4:22 PM
@15.. I was wishing upon a star that they called you BigJim because of the size of your wang.
Your body looks fan-hot-tastic. Lovin it!
27. Posted by mrs.t on October 5, 2006 4:30 PM
Guy-Pierre, your blog is about to become my homepage. The instructional post alone is well worth the admission price.
28. Posted by mrs.t on October 5, 2006 4:32 PM
....and, I am waiting for the Stallion to come back here with both guns a-blazing....it seems that he will not take kindly to the same-sex body compliments. But I could be wrong.
29. Posted by theblemish.com on October 5, 2006 4:51 PM
Mmm yes, she's looking a little less muscley in these. I'm halfway hard.
http://theblemish.com
30. Posted by duds on October 5, 2006 5:04 PM
My goodness, the girl is working out. I could understand the rants and raves if she were smoking crack or snorting coke. Give the girl a break, at least she's healthy!
*Sighs*
31. Posted by duds on October 5, 2006 5:06 PM
#24:
You obviously don't exercise.
People work out in the heat to sweat and burn more fat. As for streching by the side of the road? Jeez, louise, muscles get tired, cramped and need to constantly stretched....... Like I wrote earlier, you obviously DON'T WORK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
32. Posted by krisdylee on October 5, 2006 5:09 PM
The Gays love BigJim....
and so do I...
33. Posted by krisdylee on October 5, 2006 5:17 PM
http://cooterpunch.blogspot.com/2006/10/im-completely-and-totally-speechless.html
oh man..... couldn't laugh hard enough...
34. Posted by libtard on October 5, 2006 5:20 PM
Bigjim, thanks for clearing us up on that whole big penis rumor.
35. Posted by Danklin on October 5, 2006 5:26 PM
She needs to stop working out her chest before she starts to look like Arnold. Seriously, look at her funbags, they're more nonexistant than before.
36. Posted by sdcoyote on October 5, 2006 5:26 PM
God, I want her. She is soooo freakin fine. Gimme, gimme, gimme....
37. Posted by LilRach on October 5, 2006 5:30 PM
#31 Calm down man - i was just giving my opinion! I wasn't saying anything was wrong with exercising outside i said stretching outside in public was weird!
oh yeah and i go to a place called a gym - ever heard of one? If i exercised outside there would be too many guys having to grab their handy dandy notebooks.
38. Posted by Madrid Marriott on October 5, 2006 5:36 PM
Anyone have a keyboard I could borrow? Mines is a little sticky.
39. Posted by Cruzadas on October 5, 2006 5:48 PM
She's extremely fuckable, and she knows it
40. Posted by Cruzadas on October 5, 2006 5:50 PM
I would sell my grandmother to see this girl naked.
41. Posted by BigJim on October 5, 2006 6:12 PM
Guy, I'm flattered, but I'm afraid I don't swing that way.
kris: that hubby of yours going out of town any time soon?
42. Posted by Guy-Pierre on October 5, 2006 7:28 PM
@27&28.. mrs.t, thank you so much for the word of encouragement. It's alot of hard (that word always makes me giggle) work/fun. Both the blog and the sexual doings.
Stallion is a sweet, sweet man.
Mr41.. A fellow always has his dreams.
43. Posted by Wampoon.com on October 5, 2006 7:39 PM
So Graceful...so tasteful.
http://wampoon.com
44. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on October 5, 2006 7:48 PM
***WHAT THE HELL?***
Stop what you are doing at follow the link at # 33!!
For the love of all that is sacred, that is the gayest thing I have ever seen!
45. Posted by ApacheRose on October 5, 2006 8:10 PM
Krisdylee and Ferret--
It's pretty damn bad when the best looking one of the lot is William H. Macy, don'tcha think?
Speechless just about covers it, yeah. And nauseating...
46. Posted by James on October 5, 2006 8:22 PM
If she were so retarded I'd give her a "workout" and not in public like this staged crap.
47. Posted by Doc on October 5, 2006 8:54 PM
definitely the best ass in Hollywood... no question...
48. Posted by blueballs on October 5, 2006 9:17 PM
I know exactly where she works out and you don't.
49. Posted by GG1000 on October 5, 2006 9:36 PM
Jesus, what's with these chicks on the frickin' sidewalk? I know Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale are B-list celebrities and don't get the big parts, but I've just got your standard-type job and I can afford a 24-hour Fitness membership - I'm sure they could spring for even the multi-club LA Fitness deal on what they make. Yo, ladies, actions at this level of pathetic-ness to get attention do not make you a hot commodity, they make you look like a sad attention slut.
50. Posted by Alex on October 6, 2006 12:49 AM
Damn. I may just see another erection in my lifetime just thinking of what that mink go do in the sack. Not sure though, after that Carter-Carrot bullshit.
51. Posted by cayana on October 6, 2006 12:51 AM
Isn't she the one with the monster tongue? I wanna see her stick that huge thing out and lick her own butt!
52. Posted by cayana on October 6, 2006 12:53 AM
#10 Kate Bosworth would snap in half if she tried to do something like that. Hmm actually that might be entertaining to watch.
53. Posted by Chantelle83 on October 6, 2006 12:59 AM
The girl has got some nice arms but I bet I can wrestle her to the ground, even tho I'm 5 feet and probably weigh as half as her. I'll just hit her in the face with my steel ass and it's TKO, bitch.
54. Posted by DrunkBlogger on October 6, 2006 1:29 AM
Might be? I'd say she is! derpa derp derk derp derk.
55. Posted by ch474 on October 6, 2006 5:36 AM
Mmmmm ... flexalicious! I'd be all over her like a hungry terrier on Alpo. Particularly after spreading Alpo all over her lovely little body, then having to lick it off to get to the real good stuff.
56. Posted by RichPort on October 6, 2006 6:24 AM
Thanks alot. Obviously the standard jeans construction of rugged denim and a brass zipper offers no protection against involuntarily tearing through my pants and knocking my coffee cup out of my hands. Just imagine trying to explain that one to your co-workers... I nearly bruised my own chin; that's the first time that's ever happened. I will never, I repeat, NEVER again mix Cialis, Ginseng, esctasy, and weed before knowingly viewing pics of Bielicious getting all sweaty, bendy and twisty. I love the way she's staring at trainer boy's crotch. I'm off to buy the 7th Heaven DVD collection, a bottle of Jergens and some wet naps. And Mr. Fish owes me a new pair of jeans and a first aid kit for my scalded johnson.
57. Posted by Triumph Insult Dog on October 6, 2006 7:07 AM
I...JUST...LOVE...HER...MAN!
She is a black dude's dream! Oh, sorry,uh, she a very upstanding woman and I'm an upstanding man...IN MY PANTS!
(I'm sorry, it had to be said.)
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
58. Posted by danielle on October 6, 2006 7:07 AM
figures
59. Posted by RichPort on October 6, 2006 7:32 AM
#33 - I commented before reading the thread, stumbled onto your ominously Masonic post number, and clicked on the link. JESUS H FUCKING CHRIST IN A HANDBASKET!!! I though John T playing tonsil hockey on the way to the plane was fruity, but this may well be one of the oddest, most bile inducing, images I've ever seen. You win the "Mu eyes!!! I'm bliiiiind!!!" award for the thread. Talk about juxtaposing the beauty with the fucking beasts...
60. Posted by commissioner on October 6, 2006 7:47 AM
#33
That is one image I would have never expected to see. Those four frolicking in a lake together. Holy monkey!
61. Posted by The Gilbs on October 6, 2006 7:50 AM
That does not look like my workout. Maybe that is why I have a gut. How can real women who actually work for a living still have a life, eat well, and have a body like that? I cannot give up the occasional chicken wing for beauty. I bet that bitch does not light farts. We all have to have our special talents!
62. Posted by hamacus on October 6, 2006 8:17 AM
OMG! I love that position. the girl wraps her leg around your neck while you play a game of rear entry gentry...
Jessica your are a true master!
63. Posted by jrzmommy on October 6, 2006 8:29 AM
the last time I tried to do that at a shopping center I had a net thrown on me.
64. Posted by 86 on October 6, 2006 8:34 AM
I'm not sure it was necessary to take 28 pictures of her throwing a ball.
65. Posted by RichPort on October 6, 2006 8:49 AM
#64 - My johnson respectfully disagrees.
66. Posted by sysy on October 6, 2006 10:06 AM
#3, everyone knows that Tori Spelling is Pokey...
67. Posted by ben on October 6, 2006 10:15 AM
wow, that's hot ... I wish I had a video of that in slow motion!
-Ben
splayground@dodgeit.com
68. Posted by nc72 on October 6, 2006 10:32 AM
Yummy!!! Remember X17s photos of her "making out" with her friend?
http://www.exposay.com/i-am-seriously-going-to-need-a-minute-here-people/v/4404/
69. Posted by nc72 on October 6, 2006 10:33 AM
Yummy!!! Remember X17s photos of her "making out" with her friend?
http://www.exposay.com/i-am-seriously-going-to-need-a-minute-here-people/v/4404/
70. Posted by HELLpenis on October 6, 2006 3:00 PM
Why is she famous? Seriously who gives a shit about this fatass.
71. Posted by HELLpenis on October 6, 2006 3:01 PM
fatass = she has a giant ass
72. Posted by PumliCZ on October 9, 2006 6:35 AM
Actually I like watching girl like her practicing on sidewalk, than drunken rednecks on they way home. I don't get why this mind you? At least she is on fresh air.
73. Posted by knowhere on October 10, 2006 4:34 AM
my wang is in love
74. Posted by LaydeeBug on October 16, 2006 5:14 PM
I have nothing bad to say about JB. She's beautiful, healthy and apparently down to earth.
75. Posted by R-TIST on October 22, 2006 4:24 PM
I actually did that same move on the icy sidewalk in front of the drug store..