October 5, 2006
Britney Spears makes some safety adjustments
Britney Spears has reportedly learned from her past mistakes and purchased a state-of-the-art side-impact infant car seat from Petit Tresor for her new baby Sutton Pierce.
"She said she needed the best for her baby," says a source. "She got one from Britax, whose tag line is 'Where safety is always in fashion.'"
Looks like Sean Preston got the shaft on this one. He gets dropped on his head, driven on Britney Spears' lap, and thrown in the car seat facing the wrong direction, while his younger brother gets the safest baby seat money can buy. In 10 years when Sutton Pierce is attending the best private school in the country Sean Preston is gonna get a little curious and ask mom why he has to wear a helmet all the time and take the short bus to school. And why he constantly has a craving to eat crayons.
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Comments
1. Posted by tits_on_snack on October 5, 2006 8:39 AM
Learning from her mistakes and taking good care of her children now? Pshhh. What a bitch.
2. Posted by snang on October 5, 2006 8:43 AM
I'd hit it.
3. Posted by slantingthroughdarkness on October 5, 2006 8:43 AM
I just hope Britney doesn't accidentally eat the poor little tyke.
"Damn. That was a big bon bon. Urrrrp."
http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com
4. Posted by gossipmonger on October 5, 2006 8:43 AM
The capacity to learn... hmmm, I think she's lacking in that area, therefore someone must have told her to buy a top of the line car seat to "minimize" the critique she'll certainly draw...
5. Posted by BLucky on October 5, 2006 8:46 AM
The first kid is always the test dummy. ... In this case, literally.
6. Posted by Madrid Marriott on October 5, 2006 8:47 AM
"In 10 years when Sutton Pierce is attending the best private school in the country...."
Seriously?! Come on, I know you're trying to be creative, Fish, but that's just downright absurd. You've really harmed your credibility on this one.
7. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 5, 2006 8:48 AM
The only safety adjustment this bitch needs to make, is getting her tubes tied for the safety of evolution...............
8. Posted by sharkbite on October 5, 2006 8:50 AM
Nice to see her show some improvement.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
9. Posted by jamiew on October 5, 2006 8:50 AM
She should be driving this Audi R8 with a Bang & Olufsen Speakers.
http://www.sybarites.org/2006/10/03/audi-r8-to-feature-bang-olufsen-sound-system/
10. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 5, 2006 8:51 AM
P.S. I love her reaction in this photo.....
Britney: "It won't start"
Paparazzi: "You have to put the key in you dumb bitch"
11. Posted by krisdylee on October 5, 2006 8:51 AM
Perhaps they scooped out the whole works when the doctor was in there digging out SPF 2. No more babies Britney!
12. Posted by Giggles on October 5, 2006 8:52 AM
I'm with Italian Stallion on this one...BTW -- do everyone else's babies NOT deserve the best?
13. Posted by pinky_nip on October 5, 2006 8:52 AM
You can't "cushion" away retardedness.
14. Posted by PJ in PA on October 5, 2006 8:56 AM
Two wrongs might make a right but two dumbshits doesn't produce a braniac. I'm guessing there ain't enough money in the world for either of the SPF's to gain admittance to a TOP private school. Anywhere.
15. Posted by dupababy on October 5, 2006 9:01 AM
god.. she's so fucking smart.. and her babies will be so safe now.. yes, monkeys are flying outta my butt now..
16. Posted by RichPort on October 5, 2006 9:19 AM
It beats what she tried with her first kid, duct-taping him to the backseat and covering him in bubble wrap. The plan fell through when styrofoam peanuts kept falling out every time she opened the back door or the windows when driving.
#8 - Thanks, I just ruined a good pair of jeans by spontaneously ejaculating. I didn't think a car could do that to me, unless it looked like Byonce. Odd.
17. Posted by the salami from killarney on October 5, 2006 9:20 AM
Well, I guess you learn from your mistakes. Of course, getting knocked up twice by an ass-hat like K-Fed is pretty conclusive evidence that Britters is a slower-than-average learner.
Go on, Britney...drop the baby (one more time).
18. Posted by IFuckingHateYou on October 5, 2006 9:20 AM
I just hope this state-of-the-art baby seat has a big arrow pointing up so the retarded cunt doesn't buckle the little fucker in upside down.
I dis-agree witht eh Superfich - both of the SPF's will be wearing helmets by the time they turn 5.
19. Posted by RichPort on October 5, 2006 9:22 AM
Fuck I meant #9...
20. Posted by the salami from killarney on October 5, 2006 9:23 AM
Well, I guess you learn from your mistakes. Of course, getting knocked up twice by an ass-hat like K-Fed is pretty conclusive evidence that Britters is a slower-than-average learner.
Go on, Britney...drop the baby (one more time).
21. Posted by shell on October 5, 2006 9:34 AM
She may have bought the seat but will she actually put the kid in it...correctly?
22. Posted by Nikk The Templar on October 5, 2006 9:36 AM
Oh, man....Sean Preston and Sutton Pierce are going to have one of those fucked up "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" type of relationships.
23. Posted by serial snarkalec on October 5, 2006 9:40 AM
Britney practices holding baby aloft in case of crash soon to occur due to practicing from the course taught at her Louisiana trailer park's community center.
24. Posted by BigJim on October 5, 2006 9:55 AM
I live in Alberta, which is like the Canadian Texas. We're all just a bunch of dumbass rednecks up here, and I wish y'all would stop raggin' on po' Britney so much.
We just take our youngins and toss 'em in the back of the pick up.
25. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on October 5, 2006 10:04 AM
I just wish people had to take a course before having children. They are too often treated like experiments and then when it goes awry they turn out like Foley.
http://www.nasae.org/foley-scandal.htm
26. Posted by edb87 on October 5, 2006 10:11 AM
Yay! Now there'll be more drops to make fun of! Wait, you mean she's safer?
...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
http://www.edquartersaudio.com
27. Posted by CelebSlam.com on October 5, 2006 10:18 AM
This still won't prevent her from dropping him
http://www.celebslam.com
28. Posted by Shaun on October 5, 2006 11:28 AM
Brit's a brainpan. I agree with poster # 7 that she should have to get her tubes tied. Not to short cut the right to have children. But some celebs are are not equiped with the mnatality it takes to raise and care for children.
29. Posted by frogexaggerator on October 5, 2006 11:35 AM
To be fair, the other car seat was a Britax, too. It was a top-notch $200 Britax Roundabout, five-point harness with side impact protection. She's just singularly incapable of using carseats correctly. So fear not for young Sean Preston. New car seat or no, Sutton's sure to be equally in harm's way. Because no seat protects against parental idiocy. Perhaps that ought to be their new tag line.
30. Posted by mikewall on October 5, 2006 11:37 AM
Britney is still the #1 searched female on the net. Stop hating she must be doin something right!
31. Posted by mikewall on October 5, 2006 11:39 AM
Britney is hot wether you like it or not
32. Posted by libtard on October 5, 2006 11:58 AM
@31.......People always slow down and look at a carwreck, you cracksniffer.
33. Posted by RichPort on October 5, 2006 12:07 PM
#31 - I do not have time to slap you with my johnson right now. Please bend yourself in half and do it to yourself. Thanks for the help.
34. Posted by PapaHotNuts on October 5, 2006 12:24 PM
@31
That's funny, mikewall was the #1 searched douchebag on the net. You must be doin' something right too. Ass.
35. Posted by frenchtoaststix on October 5, 2006 12:49 PM
Too bad Shitney and K-Fuck couldn't provide state-of-the-art parent-impact protection for these two sorry children. The negative impact of these two fuckwads raising children is going to be enormous! Perhaps Sean and Sutton will gun down Amish children in a one-room schoolhouse in the future. It could happen.
@31: She's #1 because to indulge our schadenfreude, we like to see pictures the bloated fucked-up mess with no career Shitney's become since K-Fuck insperminated her. He looks at her and his eyes turn into dollar signs just like in the cartoons. It's true.
36. Posted by Jay from the Bay on October 5, 2006 1:27 PM
My God is she fat.
37. Posted by YoMamma on October 5, 2006 1:31 PM
The last one was a Britax too.
Do some damn research.
38. Posted by llynnowens on October 5, 2006 1:51 PM
Britax products are recalled pretty often. What a label whore Britney is.
39. Posted by mommy_long_legs on October 5, 2006 10:23 PM
she probably bought a britax since she only read as far as the first 4 letters and thought it said "britney."
40. Posted by clown on October 6, 2006 9:30 AM
She makes the best choices for her life and her family's.
We all know how she is good at choosing MEN, when we take a brief look at Federline's loser life.
They are quite a match! He is a perfect singer and she is a perfect MOM. And she also has a great talent to eat.
41. Posted by Praz on October 6, 2006 10:58 AM
You don't eat the crayon, you stick it in your nose. Duh.
42. Posted by IwAnTbAcOnNoW on November 10, 2006 8:21 PM
If you idiots actually read about Britney and werent too busy ragging about her you would know that her 2nd son's name ISN'T Sutton its Jayden James...
43. Posted by Amarie on December 5, 2006 1:25 PM
If I was Britney, the first safety ajustment I would make would be PUTTING MY HANDS ON THE FUCKING STEERING WHEEL!