chestica doesn't MAKE dumb faces chief, she is a DUMBFACE.. and that face keeps getting six degrees closer to michael jacksons.. five.. four.. three..

Yes, she is a retard. But her hair looks cute shorter. However, why does she have her nails painted black? Is she planning on going goth soon?

I've had fantasies about doing that to Jessica

http://www.celebslam.com

I see... any shorts are short-shorts when you hike them all the way up your vajay-jay.

I just can't fucking stand it anymore. She's now totally up there with Paris and Anna Nicole with the bizarro, unnatural automaton poses and fake smiles and faces. She's a caricature of a person.

Me no likey, and never have, the eensy-weensy band she wears on her pointer finger. It is probably more like a string tied on her finger to remind her to breathe.

I used to think she was hot and that Nick was stupid for divorcing a chesty millionairess.

Now I realize she is an irritating hog.

In other news, I am quite thirsty.

Top half, Mrs. Doubtfire. Bottom half, Mrs. Kidd Rock.

I do make that face sometimes when I don't have fair warning my tonsils are about to get soaked.

Top half, Mrs. Doubtfire. Bottom half, Mrs. Kidd Rock.

I do make that face sometimes when I don't have fair warning my tonsils are about to get soaked.

I am sorry, usually I just read comments but why does she have on black fingernail polish? It just should not be allowed for dumb uptight blondes to wear black fingernail polish.

oops. forgot the Tourette's med today.

Why is she dressed like she's in a USO show?

She's starting to get really over exposed....

Jessica is so cute, and has a GREAT voice! stupid christina A is always waving her hands up,its soo annoying, its like every 2 secs. you can deff tellin that one video when shes out on the street with black hair. but yeah, jess is awesome

I think the black nail polish is left over from the other night when she was all tough-girl with the Jackass guys at the bar.

13--starting? :)

Looks good to me.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com/

Actually, I think Dave Navarro loaned her his polish.

Jessica Simpson demonstrates to the Today show crowd how the Jackass boys, when running her through her first train, engaged in the popular art of sado-erotic asphyxiation. Picture five shows Jessica answering a fan when asked "How many loads were blown on you that night?". Horrified parents were seen grabbing their children and running.

#7 I am thirsty too. Let's get a drink together.

Anyways, I'm a big Jessica Simpson fan. So.. yeah!

Those shorts almost make it a pubic affair.

I'd like to give her what I call, "The First Timer", or "The Virgin", it's when I fracture her arm and then make her jerk me off with it, and listen to her whimper and cry like a virgin on prom night, similar to sounds my wife makes after I fracture her arm and force her to jerk me off with it!

anybody else seen this little concert she put on, I heard it sounded a little something like this.

quack, quack, quack, quaaaaaaack...

She walked into my night.

She walked into my life.

She walked into my right.

Actually that first pic is her telling how she lost her voice...

"You wouldn't believe.... So John Mayer has be my the throat and my mouth is totally stuff full of cock..."

"Why does she have black fingernail polish on?"

vs.

"Why does she have on black fingernail polish?"

YOU DECIDE.

this is a demonstration on how she's gonna choke john's pecker

me by my throat... Ah, friday....

I thought she was a christian...

#10, I agree 100%. I saw on the Today show last week that black fingernail polish is really trendy in Hollywood right now. That pisses me off.

And who the fuck dresses her? It's like Barbara Bush meets Pam Anderson. And that's a combo I never thought I'd see.

The stupid expressions, the bow, the black nail polish, the shoes, the shorts made out of left-over fabric from the "Pretty Woman (post-whore) dress". It's all just WRONG.

Long sleeves and short shorts - no. It's either warm enough for shorts or it isn't. Make up your mind. Damn

And the shoes make her look sorta like a horsey. She's not fat or unattractive (though her skin is still too orange), but she needs to stop wearing those clodhopper shoes and and things that are too short. It's not flattering. Still better than Britney, but who isn't?

What does it mean when a white girl's skin is darker than her hair? When did orange come to be an acceptable skin tone? Can we just be done with Jessica Simpson at this point, or must we suffer more?

PS -- Stop with the formal shorts!!

She's starting to look like one of those freaky over 50 year old women who reconstruct themselves through plastic surgery.

That's Jessica's "O" face

http://wampoon.com/

Looks like Ashlee is donating 5 pounds a week to Jessica's fat account.

@33 AMEN! And to make it even better, wear formal shorts with STILETTOS!

And I'm not sure what to make of the shirt poking out of the bottom. Looks like the remnants of a tutu. Blech.

Jessica Simpson is MAGIC! And she shows it by doing everything except wearing a Cheerleader's outfit and doing "spirit fingers"...

Ready?! Okay!...

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

FYI.....the black nail polish is Chanel's latest color for Fall '06 "Black Satin" Sold out everywhere. All the ho bags are wearing it.

#14 - It totally figures that your name is Babydollz after I read your post. It speaks volumes, yet I don't know where to start. If we ever meet in person, I can promise that I will vomit on your face.

#39 - I know that's true, but who in the hell is buying it? Normal people cannot get away with wearing stuff like that - and last time I checked, the goth kids don't spend the moola on Chanel polish. (ok, I lied, I've never checked...)

She's got one of the stumpiest bodies I've ever seen.. having said That I'd still hit it until my next dentist apointment.

Love the outfit, love the hair, but hate that she makes blonde jokes seem accurate. We are not all that ridiculous.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

ps. suprised no one commented on her "creeping toe".

I don't care how "trendy" black nail polish is, it looks utterly ridiculous---especially with that outfit.

Did anyone actually hear her sing?

-- AFFFLAC --

Okay, back.

First off, I'm drunk. I mean, gloriously shitfaced. And from that, I am happy.

Now onto Jessica -

I really enjoy boobs. Generally speaking, I love them. Those beautiful mounds of skin, bubbling up from beneath too-tight V-neck sweaters, teasing me as they bobble with each step. They are nirvana. Love 'em.

As such, I really enjoy Jessica's puppies. I envision her on her back, with me on top of her, laughing as I eat a plate of ginger beef, which I also happen to love.

I envision me slamming her, with her breasts slapping against each other to the tempo of my pelvis, almost as if they were applauding my performance. Bravo, Bioplant. Encore, encore.

Now I open my eyes, and quickly scan for my gin and tonic, tall. Bombay, thank you. Ah, there it is.

I look at Jessica's picture on this site, and I think to myself - Self, you've had better. Heart of hearts, in all honesty, you've chased and caught better than this. Yes, Jessica has the money thing going for her. Fame, fortune, notoriety - it's all there. What she lacks though is respect.

She has become a joke; a veritable Caucasian pinata, there for our ridicule and amusement.

Christy Turlington never had this problem. Neither did the chick from ALF. Both previous masturbatory fodder for the Bioplant.

Yet, Jessica does. And how sad is that?

I submit to you readers, the answer is very.

I actually applaud her for going the Mystic-Tan route. Did anyone SEE the close-up of her neck? Her skin is really scaley from all of the real tanning she has done in the past.

Whispering is one of the WORST things you can do to your voice next to shouting.

Anyone who has a paper-clip's worth of knowledge on how to sing knows that.

as i pass the dutchie to the left hand side...i say her hands have no tan...her nails are too short for the black polishand i believe we blame the parents who have no fashion sense...ok and kudos to her for not having camel toe with the shorts...

Nice shoes, I want them. Her toes are too fugly for open toed sandals.

Um. I'm still pretty young so older people on here feel free to set me straight on this one, but doesn't it kind of seem like celebrities are getting lower quality these days? I see hotter, more talented women on a regular basis, just by dealing with people from my town. And I live in Tucson, Arizona. I don't think we're known for particularly attractive ladies.
Just saying something seems amiss. I don't feel like I'm living in the United States anymore. I want the 90s back.
And fuck Jessica Simpson -- Stupid. Skank.

Ya ya ya, she makes goofy faces that make her look about as intelligent as a rotton tomato but forget that.....what the fuck is she wearing? Grade 3 called, they want their outfit back. My 6 year old has more style sense than Jessica Simple, err, Simpson does.

What the hell is she doing in pic #4?
Thanking God for her make-up artists?

That's the worst foundation line i've ever seen.

#51 amhi -- I am probably older than you (what's old anyway?), and I was just thinking yesterday that "my" generation seemed to have more talent.

For whatever reason, the "talent threshold" is down on the ground with Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson. 20 years ago, this would not have been talent. Britney and Jessica are only famous for hot bodies (all of the men are going "yes!") not really talent. Britney doesn't have a good voice at all -- she's is/was just a hot little body.

Eye candy is all it is -- no more.

Even her toenails are black.. Errrrr... I mean when you go to the trouble of dressing like a.. well I don't know how to describe how she is dressed...top half like a school girl, bottom half like a call girl...but that is not the point, that outfit probly costs a fortune and she could diffently afford a manicure and peticure. It just is driving me cazy.

Ok I am done.

has www.gofugyourself.com gotten ahold of this atrocious baghdad brown outfit yet?

Pedicure*

Okay, she bugs me to at times and her voice is really
awful-really-but she was sweet on the show and really
took the time to chat with her fans and take pictures
and sign autographs and the like. At least she's gracious
to the people who buy her "music".
By the way, the polish is most likely Chanel Vamp which
is making a big comeback and I for one love it!

What a fucking mouth-breather. Still like to get it in there and bust one though.

bioplant, I am almost certain you and I went on a "date" when I was 19. At least I hope that was you. Two men who eat ginger beef AND laugh while doing it AND do it when banging big-boobied blondes walking the earth at the same time is really too much. One of you will need to kill the other. There can be only one, etc.

Jessica Simpson is becoming such a piece of insanity. And the most insane part of the pics above is that she paid a stylist to find that horrible outfit and dress her in it.

I have always said that Jessica Simpson looks "special" when she sings. Fortunately, I haven't seen or heard her sing in at least a year. Thanks for reminding me!

#14, I'd say Christina waving her hands around isn't so bad... especially in comparison to Jessica making faces like she left her helmet and bib at home.

Dear #51-
You are precious and wise. I'm probably 20 years older than you are (at least) and I have to say that yes, celebrities suck more now than they ever have in my lifetime.
I even remember when Donny and Marie Osmond and Sony and Cher had TV shows, and I thought they were pretty lame, but Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, (insert other fake blondes with fake orange tans here) make the 1970's celebrities look like the pinnacle of sophistication and talent. I think it went downhill after Tom Jones, but there were some good times in the 1980s and 1990s.
All I can say is, I'm very sorry, and I hope the pendulum swings away from the trash before it's too late and we as a nation lose all sense of perspective.

Jessica Simpson didn't just "lose her voice" to laryngitis...a blood vessel burst on her vocal chords!!! For anyone who knows anything about singing, this is horrendous and means complete vocal rest for several WEEKS, not minutes in a day. Not that she had a great voice to begin with, but she could (and probably already will) do serious damage to her vocal structure (both speaking and singing voice). She is a fool for not listening to her doctors and going out to party with the Jackass crew...and for singing on any show! Where the hell is Joe Simpson in all of this - doesn't he want to continue to make money in the long run?

She's got so much makeup packed onto her face that it is now a different color from her neck/throat. Witness the 4th picture where she has her head thrown back. Yuck.

Jessica is becoming boring and her 15 minutes are almost up, right there with Paris and Alba

In that pic with her hand on her throat*, if she would fold her teeth back, I'd slip my cock right on in there.

Hi 'chicsickle!!!

I think she has been drinking too much meaning she has this in her car

http://www.sybarites.org/2006/08/28/dunhill-cocktail-kit/

its doesnt matter, she is still smoking hot!

http://www.playpacman.net

No. 63.. shoot yourself.

No. 63.. shoot yourself.

No. 69 and 70....you are LAME!

WTF is this first picture? Jessica re-enacting that terrible terrible night when she almost choked to death on a cock? Seriously. After she won that car (what a cheap publicity stunt), she's dead to me. I wish the paps would just stop taking her picture. Her and Blohan, Herpes Hilton, Emmy Rossum, Nicole Ritchie, Maniston. Please. Just. Go. Away.

It comes a point in every christians life, that one realizes that some people do not want to be saved and that they want to take the easy road to hell. I ask you all once again to ask forgiveness for your sins and take Jesus Christ as your savior. God Bless.

I got it!! I finally figured out who J-Simps face reminds me of! Ever see the "Dark Crystal"? She looks like an Ur-Ru!!!!

Oh, and don't worry about Edna, I fucked her so hard in every orifice last night she keeps calling me the savior and is stalk-dialing my cellphone. Edna, I was drunk, I don't normally fuck fat stupid "women". Count your blessing you got any dick at all, and SHUT THE FUCK UP.

#74 - REPORTED!

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Hey, This site is awesome. I love it here. This completely rules. I want to fuck everyone in the ass. I want to lick pussy until my tongue is hanging out of my mouth like a rabbid dog. I want to chew your nipple's off and cum all over your back. I love everyone!

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@66 Not sure who you are, but hey Joe!

#76...we love you too

http://www.spoonspam.com

Edna..if you even START with my man Tranny I WILL have to make sure you meet the good Lord alot faster than you anticipated.

Is that a bat in the cave in the fourth pic???

Hahaha... made you look!

The underside of her chin might be the most terrifying sight I could ever have imagined :(

Smokin hot....not. She's a product. A slick market ploy. She's not even a little pretty in the real sense. She's a plastic farce, forcing butt fug fashion mistakes on little dreamy eyed girls and raging hard ons on idiots who have no concept of what she really is. Or is not. No talent. No brain. She is nothing. The Joey Heatherton of this generation. Feel the shame.

Jessica Simpson needs a new stylist, like that guy that specializes in tying plastic bags around women's heads and covering their naked bodies in oil - You know, Pierre Something. Anyhoo, I really think that would spice up her look for Fall.

@83 Osh: Perhaps you are talking about the Pierre Cardin Signature expandable Jacquard Plastic luggage bag.

Also makes a great liner for hotel room ice-buckets.

Hopeless,

good to see you at the Spankatorium.

I'm sorry Tranny & Zanna. *I'm actually a slut who loves to be used as cum dumpster I enjoy sucking cock three ways to Sunday (the Lords day) On Monday I allow my husband to abuse me anally. Jesus is the reason!

I want to eat Jessica Simpson boogers.

The redder the better!!

@85 Edna: Sweetheart. You're fucking killing me.

Hopeless

75 Edna;

You have reported me several times over the last few months since your fatness first made its inconsequential voice known. Nothing at all has happened. Has it occurred to you that your false god has forsaken you, and that your vaunted thought police don't give a flying fuck about your narrow-minded middle age views? Go back to your mistaken view of christianity, believe it with all your being, and rot in your hell, worshipper of a false idol. The false god you believe in will turn it's evil back upon you, and Christ will smite you with the sword of truth upon your death, and Satan will roast your soul forever. Turn back, before it is to late. As even your false version of the Bible proclaims, everyone shall be given a chance to redeem oneself (paraphrase you cunt) and this is your chance. Go wash the feet of the unfortunate and bake loaves for the needy.

Mr. TrannyGranny

You sir shall watch your tongue!!!* Who do you think you are telling elderly women to rot in hell? You will rot in hell. Is it not enough that they bake pies for the homeless and wash the genitals of the really really elderly and infirm, emptying bedpans, etc. etc. Who do you think you are? You are Satan Incarnate and you sir and you alone will suffer the chains and reigns of a life Pumping Ass in HADEES!!!

What in the HELL is she wearing?!?!

TrannyGranny

You can start with me. I love a good ass-pumping.

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#17~that's probably not all he loaned her.

@89 Father Harry- I with you. I may be a lowly booger eater, but I know a heathen who is on a one way ride to hell when one is blatantly place in front of me.*
TrannyGranny, don't bother saying your prayers anymore. HE isn't listening.

Hopeless have you tried to hit refresh and comment back in Moose-Taint? I'm trying to figure out the problem.

Father Harry - I'll watch Tranny's tongue for him since it's usually either in me or on me, thank you very much. And I'll tell you THIS much...he takes me to Heaven on a regular basis.

And 93-He is SO listening to our prayers. Cuz we're His favorite. :)

Mr. BoogerEater

No need to worry my snot starved son. There are plenty of God fearing Christians who have your back. As Tranny has dibs on all the unfulfilled ass-wrappings of lowly sinners.

What the hell does she think she's wearing?

#95- Amen Father Harry
I am bookmarking your website. I will quote from it religiously and link it daily.

@94 Zanna- The only thing you and your Tranny are a favorite of is HIS boogers.

Eat that!!!

HE will spite you.

If the Good Lord was gonna spite me he wouldn't have made me made me so pretty and well endowed.

And shame on you 97 to be so sacreligious as to speak of His boogers. He does not have any. Except for you. And I ain't eatin' that.

I want to hump her leg...

Tranny:

Welllllllllllll I'm WAIIIIIIITING!!!

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......\.. ........\______//._.___._.(_(__>...... \. ...........|........
.......\.......... ...___).._______.(_(___>. .....|......../..........
......./.\.|...... ....____)/.............\.(____>.... .|___/............
....././\|...... .....____)...............|..(___>..../..\.................
....|...(...... ..._____)\________/...//._/...../.... ..\.............
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Pull my hair and ass-pump the shit out of me.

who?

is jessica simsom ?
and why ?

why?

why?

Well, now, lookee here. Edna's back in town. My meat curtains are quivering with joy. Fuck you Edna. Fuck you.

Good to see Libturd freakhead under a different name....

Osh, you make me wet. And by that I mean you make me wet.

Jessica is in dire need of a twat kickin'.

Tranny and Zanna, I feel worried about your happiness with eachother in Moose Taint county. Love is all about gettin' through the rough patches. And also about inviting me over for a three-way.

I shall now drink and smoke some majay-jay.

Did I mention fuck you Edna???

Oh, good.

A day without the site being updated? Sometimes it's updated what seems like nine times in one day and now nothing?

You drill holes in my heart, Mr. Superfish.

At least she stopped singing for a while.

Everytime I hear Jessica sing, I have the urge to find a nail, and shove it into my ears. She is by far the worst singer of all time-how does she sell any records? And all of you fuckers who think she's hot are secretly harboring feelings for a tranny.

I think this bitch needs to have another fag-hag tagalong like her hairt stylist, except this one needs to be a photoshop expert who can magically photoshop her during any live appearance... because those thighs, those hips, that shirt and that head all need to go away!

The face is the least of the concerns. What in the name of all that's Holy ( and some that's not ) is she WEARING? She looks like June Cleaver crossed with RuPaul. Bad 1950's skanky flashback - never a good look.

GG1000 -- I totally agree. If I walked down the street looking like that I'd be committed to a mental institution, and I don't want to have to go there again.

Shhhh....i'm listening to the voices in my head.

WHO CARES?

I'm so over the Simpsons and the Hiltons...lets pick new celebrities to care about....I bet Rose McGowan is still crazy as a fox

I want a pair of her tennis shoe inserts (that she's worn for 3 weeks straight) and a pair of her panties that she has worn for 2 straight days while out in 95 degree heat. thank you

This is STILL the latest story???

You guys are fucking hilarious.

SHE IS GETTING FAT.
IT'S OFFICIAL.
ashlee is the new hot simpson.

a public DISGRACE

She doesnt even know who she's supose to be

I'm sooo tired of this chunky bitch. Just get naked already you talentless, now-uglier than your YOUNGER sister, bimbo.

gosh i hate her she is so annoying and immature. ever since she divorced nick i could tell what a horrible person she truly was. she should go marry her dad somewhere. but anyways she looks like she got much fatter than before. and she is way beyond fake and im annoyed that she won that car that day..nick should have won it. she is greedy and doesnt deserve it. she begs too much for attention and she is overdoing her whole voice thing......like on trl u could tell she was making her voice sound worse than it already was..she has no substance period. if she ever gets married again she will end up getting a divorce again bcuz no one could love her more than she loves herselffffff ew. wow that felt good. neither her or her sister could keep a man for more than a second. they are undercover sl*ts. thank you and goodnight. oh and also ya i think celebs these days are very trashy, superficial, and fake. when they're not at parties they're getting botox at like 25. why cant they just have a natural look like giselle or something. instead of looking better after nick she looks worse.

#6 actaully made me laugh out loud!

#97 don't you mean smite? ;)