The doorknob now takes the lead! Paris' brain falls behind.

i'm sure her parents are so very proud. not only is she a slut, not only does she have no class, not only did they raise her to be a spoiled, selfish brat, but she's also incredibly stupid.

does anyone have proof that this chick graduated from high school?

How is she still alive? To be so stupid takes effort. How can she live?

Argh!!

My God... She's even STUPIDER than I had assumed. (And I has assumed she was pretty f'king stupid... Like brain-the-size-of-a-termite stupid. Bush stupid. Anna Nicole stupid.)

I can't believe I put her stupidity bar so high, and she still managed to exceed it. =0

That was painful.

Thanks, Paris, for being dumber than an orange road cone. Your fellow Americans have to try and explain you to the rest of the world, and we're positively stumped.

had* assumed (typo.sorry)

She just keeps proving again and again how dumb/trashy/ignorant/useless she is..

She should just have pissed on the prosecutor and said because I am Paris.

Despite attending the best boarding schools America has to offer, she never graduated high school and instead received her GED. This isn't much of an accomplishment considering Homer Simpson has a GED as well.

My 6-year-old golden retriever has his GED. And he knows better than to piss all over himself. Also, he's never had a sex tape of himself distributed on the internet.

So, just to sum it up: My 6-year-old golden retriever is far more intelligent than Paris Hilton. Cuter, too. And no sexually-transmitted diseases. Also, I think he's actually voted in more elections than Paris has. There's a lot more, but I'll just leave it at that.

When she dies they should take her brain around to schools and show kids all the black stuff that develops when you don't think.

Further proof of how irrelevant Paris Hilton really is.

You can blame all of this on Mama Hilton - the fat cow of a woman. She's disgusting. Imagine having a mother who never bothered to instill in you any sort of moral compass, who taught you that you can have whatever you want whenever you want it because you have money, because YOU are Paris HILTON. I'd like to stick an ice pick in that fat, slutbag.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/01/16/kathy_hilton_wears_see_through.html

Just when I thought I couldn't feel any stupider for knowing who this vapid twat is...

I've never been to court, and I don't look forward to having to call some jerk in a robe "Your Honor," but I'd at least know to speak clearly and not be retarded. Some of us just have no choice, I guess.

and we are surprised by this how?

Stupidity is one thing... blatant disrespect in a courtroom is another. If she'd been any. other. idiot. in this country, she'd have been smacked with a contempt charge, or at the very least a public admonition. But PARIS? Heaven forfend. Have to keep the uberslut free, so she can keep making the world a more bone jarring, teeth clenching, gouge-out-my-own-eyeballs-with-a-nailfile place.

Stupidity sells.

It not only illustrates how dumb she is. It also reveals that she thinks the whole thing is an inconvenience, that she should somehow be above the law.

And yet people still read about her and keep her famous.

Why do people encourage her?

This reminds me of stories your grandmother would tell you about how there were these gigantic Film Stars from Silent films, but when sound came along alot of them couldn't stay stars because they sounded aweful and had horrible voices. Kind of like Paris, as long as she is wandering around taking her clothes off people don't seem to mind her but as soon as you have to hear her open her mouth it's like somebody just vomited in your ears.

I agree Miss Diamond. She needs to be just totally ignored - like 'uhhh Paris, can you get out of the way - we don't want any more pics of you half dressed...or at all, for that matter' PLEASE let that day come soon....I hate seeing her 'snot bag face' everywhere, everyday...

10 - Hey SuperSpence!

You forgot to mention that your golden retriever is a natural blonde, and Paris is not.

Has anyone been able to disprove that Mr. and Mrs. Hilton weren't actually 1st cousins when they made Paris? Just a thought.

And who wouldn't pay good money to see William Shatner read these depositions live on pay-for-view?

Paris Hilton telling someone they are not cute is like having Jenna Jameson call you a whore. Or like Paris Hilton calling you a whore, or calling you an STD infested embarrassment to our era for as long as there is time to read history and find out that she was famous...for doing NOTHING except arching her skeletal body and arranging her bones into spread-legged, suggestive poses for anyone who happens to walk by with a camera phone.

Miss Diamond on January 19, 2006 04:19 PM
And yet people still read about her and keep her famous.Why do people encourage her?

It's like watching a trainwreck...You just KNOW its gonna get ugly, but you cant turn your head...

'I'm so hungry' is code for feed me an oozing chub while the depo video is rolling.

She did not "show blatant disrespectin a courtroom." Depositions are not done in a courtroom. They are done in the conference room of a lawyer's office. No judge is there to "slam her with a contempt charge."

A deposition is testimony given under oath in response to the opposing counsel's questions, to possibly be used later at trial. People get snotty/pissed off in depos all the time, this is hardly out of the ordinary behavior.

There is no excuse however, for either her stupidity or her fame.

Please, someone put her underground...

Shouldn't she know what a Greek name is by now?

My brain hurts so hard from reading this story.

GRRR, must watch CNN now to get some brain cells back that I lost from trying to understand what the hell she is talking about.

My favorite Paris memory is when Pamela Anderson said she was stupid because she sat next to her and complained the reading hurt her head so someone had to read her the menu. This is hilarious.

Is it at all possible she's actually brilliant and working for Al'Quida or something?

This bitch needs an education before the money runs out. And when I mean money I mean her STD infected twat.

I think everybody's obsessing over the obvious here, and missing the really profound news buried in this piece:

Paris was hungry?

I had to read her quotes a few times to actually comprehend what she was trying to say. It's like trying to understand a 2 year old. They babble, but all you have to do is say "yeah" and "awww".

Getting mad at Paris Hilton for being a whore and a brainless twat is a moot point by now. The real problem is her upbringing. She's been spoon-fed this fantasy that she doesn't need an education or morals because she'll always have money, therefore she'll never experience suffering of any kind. Kathy Hilton and whoever she's married to have created a sociopath, literally. That's someone who doesn't understand that there are other people orbiting around her, and therefore doesn't need to consider their feelings because in her world, she's the only one who exists. Honestly, I'm beyond hating Paris at this point. I think I just pity her. Imagine living in her world where money flows like champagne, yet never understanding compassion or empathy or even being able to relate to another person on a human level. Paris's constant bid for attention is the result of low self-esteem and being raised by nannies instead of loving parents. You have my sympathy, Paris, sweetie.

....Oh, WTF! I still hate you, you dumb bitch!!!

That's just hilarious. Thanks SUPERFICIAL for changing up the photo for the additional Paris Hilton story. I hate seeing the same photo over and over, especially when the stories are so close together. Although, some of the photos are priceless, like the one of Britney with the cigarette and that one of K-Fed looking like a doofus. Still, would rather see them changed up for the additional stories. Thanks on this one.

i believed that what she said might actually have been true until she said she was hungry.

Paris is a moron, but what does that say about our country when someone that stupid who looks like a giraffe can make millions.

This makes me simultaneously really pissed and deliriously happy. If I could have my way, she would cease to exist and all evidence of her previous existence would disappear without a trace (photographic, printed, video, viral, bacterial, or otherwise). Since that's not likely to happen [DAMN!], I want her to continue doing asinine, despicable things like this so that The Superficial will post stories about them and we can all mock her without mercy.

Well. I'll start attending church more now. Between this, her pee incident, Britney and K-Fed....the apocalypse must surely almost be upon us.

Does it count, to be called a genius when you piss yourself?

Paris will need VooDoo done on her to stop peeing herself at age what age?

Have fun on E!

Why can't she just go away?

Posted by Dee on January 20, 2006 12:48 AM

Why can't she just go away?

well the short answer is because nobody in their right mind would want to touch the scabbies and crab infested skank long enough to off her. Besides, if she were really gone, who would we make fun of then???

bluecanary-

sorry about that... my personal experience with giving a deposition is eons old and obviously not the same as the situation you described. I had to do it in front of a judge... but that was in 1982, and maybe the fact that I was a minor changed things.

Add that to the fact that I was doubled over in fits of painful laughter after reading the article... there's the explanation for my error.

Can't we euthanize her? She's brain dead, right?

When I read this I thought "this can't be real. It just can't. There's no way someone could possibly be this dumb."

But then I remembered that it's Paris Hilton, who so eloquently said in her book "I have a confession to make: I actually have curly hair." I'm not even kidding.

Yes, I admit it, I bought her book. But in my defense, it was a gift for my English teacher, who's really cool. I swear.

Ah, fuck it. *Kills self*

these comments are not fair. so ok, saying paris is a dumb, crab-infested, giraffe-looking, super spoiled bitch is probably true. but she's not a milk carton. or a paper doll. or a one-dimensional character in a pathetic b-movie. she's human too you know. besides, there are lots of good attributes this girl has that nobody seems to notice like

This is a message to everyone who said they want Paris to vanish up her own vag:

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Live on, Paris! Keep skankin', girl. If you lost all your money tomorrow, I'd start a collection just to keep you at it.

It's like that day at school when I threw Louisa Royer's dirty poo-stained knickers into the boy's changing room during swimming, only without the personal involvement or the guilt.

'there are lots of good attributes this girl has that nobody seems to notice like'

Totally. If she hasn't screwed up her body drinking/catching STDs/taking drugs/not eating; she might be a fit organ donor.

Bloody hell, is this real? Nobody can be that stupid!
Stupid, whore, no education, no dignity, Paris, you're a model for the rest of us!

EVERYONE LEAVE HER ALONE!!! Not everyone is as smart as a rocket surgeon. Or water scientist. Fuck it, she's stupid.

Hey Superficial:

I know Kathy Hilton has had her share of softcore porn in her life, care to find any dirt on her?

No joke, I seriously think Paris Hilton is a sign of the apocolypse. This woman is idolized by girls and gays everywhere!

your all just jealous!paris is the best and every 1 loves her, she hot and this site bad

love paris hilto... i mean random fat ugly guy

Posted by DannyJames on January 20, 2006 11:37 AM

No joke, I seriously think Paris Hilton is a sign of the apocolypse. This woman is idolized by girls and gays everywhere!

i am gay but i dont even idolize her... but her sidekick, nicole richie which i admire... go figure

she, paris hilton is a foreigner where you go :nods at everything: and smile because you dont know what the hell they're talking about...
except she got the attention because shes pretty compared to most of actual foreigners

an example- "angels in america" by whatever-cast-was-named-meryl streep

'send mexicans to beat....'?!? yeah, they've got them in their pockets or what? http://hollywoodsnark.com

yup, she's really got it....http://hollywoodsnark.com