Jan 31 2006Lindsay Lohan loses her diary

Well, eating *is* for loser fatties.

Diary entry #2: OMFG that bitch Hilary Duff stole my boyfriend!!! >( >( >( I am *so* gonna get all my fake friends to flood her MySpace with messages telling her how much better my album is than hers!

Eating is for loser fatties!!!

That was sooo effing funny!!

Don't forget about the entry when she declares her love for Aaron Carter....

Journal Entry # 56

"I am such a pig. This morning I ate an entire grape and I feel like such a fat bitch! I told myself I was only going to lick the salt off two pretzels this month, but the grape looked soooo good. I threw it up later though. I need some coke this morning. God, I think Joe Simpson is such a hottie! Ashley said he was a great kisser, but I need to find out myself! LOL!! I wonder if Wilmer started the Surreal Life 4 today or is it tomorrow? I know it's only 8:30 am, but I need an apple martini. I wonder what you're supossed to feed a midget when they get hungry? Oh well, diary-gotta go! Paris and I are going shopping for miniature dogs and pure heroin this afternoon. Hope I never lose you intentionally and get more media attention! ROFLMOA!!!

Why in the world did she take her diary with her to go out drinking? To show all her friends she has "feelings" too?! I can't wait till she grows up and eats more, whichever comes first! Also, she looks better with darker hair now, the blonde shtick made her look like a bulimic drag-queen!

Who takes her diary out drinking?

"Dear Diary. U R my only friend. How did I end up at Bryan Adams's house? Let's go out drinking."

I'm with Eden - what kind of idiot does that... Oh wait.. one who hasn't been in the tabs for a week and desperately needs to make up some shit to get some publicity

I'm sorry but, why is Lindsay Lohan notable again.

=< I'm serious. I really don't remember why she's famous.

*sigh*

I guess I'm just not that into the Lohan-my attention was totally grabbed by the ad on the right side of the page for "Elastic Steel" workout thing.

WTF is that?

BTW, the diary is the perfect drug paraphenalia...you always have a firm, flat surfaceon which to cut lines and don't have to bump off of your housekey, which is, like, SO Natasha Lyonne.

omgggg.. i can't wait for thesuperficial.com to get a hold of those suckers!! and lol @ #5.. really, who takes their diary anywhere? sounds like a publicity stunt a la paris hilton "forgetting" her phone @ a club.

maybe we will also get to read about lindsay losing her virginity on the casting couch for freaky friday

Yep. You guys figured it out. This is strictly a PR ploy by her people.

"Lindsay's Lost Diary Pages!!!!! We've got the SCOOP!!!"

But what gets me is how blatantly obvious a lie this is. Someone ought to fire her publicist. We're all used to publicity stunts and faked "losses" of things like Blackberries (hello, paris), but this one is just way over the top.

I think it signals the end for good ol' LL. When you're so desparate for attention we can smell it coming off you, you're toast. This is that moment for Lindsay.

Dear Diary

Today I did coke off a male strippers ass with Gwenyth Paltrow and William Shatner. Then they both gave me a Jack Daniels enema. It was kinda neat. Flowers are pretty. bye for now!:)

Another OBVIOUS attempt at trying to get attention. You don't tell people you lost your diary. Why not Mr. Agony? Well easy!

You see, if the pages are surfaced and they are printed, all she has to do is deny she had a diary or ever lost hers. Easy as that. But now that she has let the world know she lost it with pages missing it's obvious its a cry for attention. Her and Paris Hilton are fucking pathetic.

her "reps"? why does she need more than one representative? She does... what, exactly, all day long, that needs more than 1 person to keep track?

LMFAO @ Poster # 3 and Journal entry number 56. Too funny. But I seriously doubt she is that stupid to carry her diary around with her. Mysteriously she even recovered it.

Come on Hollywood, you got to do better then that.

the only thing worse than being lindsay lohan (let's forget about the millions she has) is being one of her reps. you have to sit and wonder how many times they must smack their forehead and shake their head in shame each day.
was the bryan adams/teacup incident another publicity stunt? did lindsay already plow through all american celebrities? are we on to overaged canadian popstars now? perhaps celine dion should watch out.

Dear Diary:

I fucked him, fucked him, him and him. Oh and her too! Did an ounce of coke, threw-up and he, he, he I wrote some dirty stuff about "you know who" on the bathroom wall. I hope that never gets out. Well I gotta meet up with my new girl Jenna Jameson, she is going to put me in one of her movies. Gotta go! TTFN XXX OOO

I forgot to add she did that all with her flashcards.

I am going to hold out for the chapter entitled "The Hospital"

this is bullshit. what person takes their diary out with them?

i'll bet anything she lost it on purpose and hopes that magazines publish her "secrets". c'mon, we've all done something like that when we were in middle school.

you know, wrote a note talking about a crush and then "accidently" dropped it in front of them so you could confess your love while making it look completely unintentional.

lindsay lohan is really pathetic and i wish that she wasn't considered a role model by any sorts because she's not. she's ANYTHING but.

Can this ho-bag go 15 minutes without doing something moronic?

Answer: no

Dear Diary,

Today, Wilmer said I’m a stalker and it made me frown and do more coke. Gee whiz. Coke sure is good. Just like midget orgies and throwing up.
P.S. I want to be just like Paris when I grow up! Minus the AIDS!

let's not forget that she's 19...

so obviously the drinking age doesn't apply to celebrities...

didn't know she could write.

I read yesterday that her Mum is her rep.

I expect her mum slipped on a teacup and the diary fell down the stairs ripping several pages out which Bryan Adams' dog promptly ate.

The diary is probably in hospital right now being tended to.

She has a new movie coming out soon which, I suspect, is what all the publicity stunts are for.

Stay tuned tomorrow, when a semi-conscious Lindsay is rushed to the ER for a hangnail, where she accidently loses her little black book full of BFF's addresses and phone numbers.

Ghostwritten?

Dear Diary, this morning I woke up at the bottom of a staircase while Bryan Adams was snorting coke out of my ass crack with a rolled up hundred pound note. God, he's hot, he reminds me of my father. Dad wasn't around much, but I know that he loves me...I wonder of Stripping would be cool.

hahahaha....

didn't britney or somebody loose their diary a few years ago... nothing popped out that much.. at least I dont think so

Sounds like a great way to make some doh. I think I'll quickly write up her diary and sell it on e-bay!

Probably sniffing the Coke off the diary. :P

"Dear Diary,
Todaiii i got fuckd in 2 holes at tha same taiim, whail sniffn coke.LOLLLLZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh.. that bitch Scarlett is sch a bitch..... I wanna get fuckd agen.. imma call ^ colin nd get his lil leprekon ass and congenital micropenis ova here... ROFLMFAOWSAOMMCAOTPWPHLMPAUFMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

baby don't cry...