Jan 11 2008Wesley Snipes owed taxes on $38 million (That’s a lot of cheddar)
Wesley Snipes faces trial for tax fraud on Monday and the IRS has revealed documents that show the actor failed to pay taxes on $37.9 million in income from 1999 to 2004. On top of that Wesley Snipes also tried to get fraudulent tax refunds for almost $11 million, according to Reuters:
Snipes, 45, was charged in a 2006 indictment along with a known tax protester and a former accountant whom the U.S. Justice Department said had been barred by a federal court from preparing other people's tax returns. The tax fraud occurred at a time when Snipes was signing movie deals worth more than $10 million each for "Blade II" and "Blade: Trinity," according to the prosecution's summary.
If Blade’s not paying his taxes, than neither am I! It’s a revolution, baby! WOO!!
Legal Notice: Anticlown Media in no way endorses the nonpayment of taxes by its employees or readers. Please be good citizens and file your income taxes with the appropriate agencies. If it makes you feel better, the Superficial Writer’s “revolution” only made it five steps to the employee lounge where he successfully dared our intern to eat a bunch of shrimp leftover from Christmas. On a related note, condolences to the family of Jimmy “Where’s my coffee, bitch?” Gunderson. He’ll be missed.
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Jan 10 2008Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt go to Mexico
While it’s a documented fact I hate The Hills like a red-headed step-child, there’s no way I could pass on these pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in Mexico. I guess I’m a sucker for two people in the throes of love. I’m a hopeless romantic. You know, the kind that gets drunk and throws dollar bills at his computer monitor until he realizes he’s gone through a grand and Heidi can’t really see him. Sort of like Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in Titanic, but way more sensitive to chick stuff.
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Jan 10 2008Kim Kardashian loves that attention
Kim Kardashian went to lunch in Beverly Hills yesterday and got some love from the paparazzi. She didn’t even have to fake an engagement or jewel theft. In the meantime, I wonder how often this exchange happens when the paps are taking Kim’s picture. Probably a lot:
Pap #1: Wow, great day. Didn’t think I’d see any celebs.
Pap #2: Me too. This worked out well. Say, what is this chick famous for again?
Pap #1: Some dude peed on her.
Pap #2: Stops shooting. Opens up his camera. Lets the film spill out.
Pap #1: What’re you doing?
Pap #2: I’m going back to shooting midget porn. At least I’ll feel a sense of pride and dignity so I can look my kid in the eye at the dinner table.
Pap #1: Stares at his camera. My God, man, you’re right. Do you think I can get a job in midget porn, too?
Pap #2: Only if you can dream big enough. Only if you can dream... Also you need your own midget. Union rules. Don’t worry, I know a guy. Now let's go be heroes - friend.
Based on a true story. The End.
Jan 10 2008Amy Winehouse shows husband her new hairdo
Amy Winehouse visited her husband Blake-Fielder Civil in prison today. She spent a few minutes getting her new blonde hairdo ready in the car to surprise Blake. She also looks inexplicably cleavagey which is gross considering it’s Amy Winehouse. It’s sort of like seeing a dumpster with boobs on it. But way less hot and you wouldn’t try to make out with Amy Winehouse. No matter how many banana peels are in her purse.
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Jan 10 2008Casey Aldridge dumps Jamie Lynn Spears, wants a paternity test
Casey Aldridge has broken things off with Jamie Lynn Spears and is demanding a paternity test. Turns out he might not be the father of her baby. Jamie Lynn is rumored to be carrying the child of an older TV producer, according to the latest issue of In Touch Weekly:
"He wants a paternity test," Britney told the Spears family friend, according to In Touch Weekly. "Casey doesn't want to be with her until he's sure that he's the father."
Wait a minute. Britney Spears is the source of this gossip. Okay, I find that hard to believe. Britney’s got way more important things going on right now then chatting about Jamie Lynn. I’m talking like really serious dire stuff that requires her undivided attention. As you’re reading this Britney is taxing her full mental capacity to decide exactly how much of her breasts she should expose at the gas station. NASA doesn’t even think that hard about launching rockets.
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Jan 10 2008Jamie Lynn Spears likes to stiff waitresses
Jamie Lynn Spears must be saving up for a crib, or her very own trailer, because she felt the need to stiff a waitress while dining out. Page Six reports:
The pregnant "Zoey 101" star irked waitresses at La Carreta, a Mexican restaurant 40 miles outside her hometown of Kentwood, La., when she failed to leave a tip after she and a friend ate there recently. "Jamie is not well-liked here," says waitress Brittanie Heaney, who makes just $2.37 an hour.
It looks like Jamie Lynn Spears is going for the redneck trifecta: knocked up at 16, studying for a GED and tips for shit. Someone get Jamie Lynn her picture box so she can watch her stories. She's done earned it.
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Jan 10 2008Michelle Rodriguez released after serving 10% of sentence
The L.A. County Sheriff’s Department released Lost star Michelle Rodriguez after she served 18 days of her 180 day sentence for DUI. The Sheriff has made similar decisions to release inmates early in the cases of Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan and others. However, the judge was adamant he wanted Michelle to serve her full sentence and is furious with the Sheriff, according to TMZ:
Law enforcement sources say the Sheriff felt he had to treat Rodriguez the way he treats every other female inmate. Because of severe overcrowding, the standard is to release everyone after they serve 10% of their time. Even though the judge drew the line in the sand and demanded the full nine yards, the Sheriff felt equality was more important.
Meanwhile, poor Kiefer Sutherland is trying to convince the guards he has a vagina. So far, no dice. It’s a documented fact that Jack Bauer pees pure freedom into the face of terrorists. And he does it standing up. I’m pretty sure that’s in the Bible.
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Jan 10 2008UPDATE: Pamela Anderson is pregnant
Pamela Anderson is pregnant with Rick Salomon’s baby, according to TMZ. However, that’s not stopping her from moving ahead with their divorce:
Salomon has told friends he believes she is "acting crazy" because of the pregnancy and hopes she will settle back into the marriage. Interestingly, in her divorce petition, Anderson asked for spousal support but not child support.
Okay, I can understand the husband leaving the wife for getting pregnant. Her egg, her fault. That’s simple geometry. But the wife leaving the husband? Is that legal? Can they do that? I mean, how will shirts get ironed? And, oh God, the dishes! Hold me.
UPDATE: Pamela Anderson posted a simple "No." on her blog which her rep confirmed to People is in response to the pregnancy rumors.
