Jul 2 2009Hayden Panettiere is single
- Hayden Panettiere and Steve Jones are no longer a couple. Turns out he's a womanizer, and she can not only see through keyholes but fit through them and say "Hey, why are you sleeping with that hooker?" [The Blemish]
- Khloe Kardashian might pose for Playboy. Hey, they're doing lame no-nudity shoots now, so Yeti porn is the next logical step. [Celebslam]
- Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry's looks defy all logic and reason. But not gravity. Because they're lazy. [Lainey Gossip]
- Angelina Jolie earned more money than Jennifer Aniston last year. And also has sex with Brad Pitt. In case she forgot. [Just Jared]
- Gisele Bundchen is like a baby bump-covering ninja. Wouldn't it be hot if her nipples shot throwing stars? At Tom Brady's face, I mean. [PopSugar]
- Rihanna's in trouble with the NYC Health Department for tattooing three people without a license last night at a tattoo parlor. I wonder who tipped them off.... [ICYDK]
Jul 2 2009Gary Coleman has a shitty life
Gary Coleman's 23-year-old bride Shannon Price decided it was time for an old-fashioned midget smackdown and was arrested for domestic violence last night. TMZ reports:
According to the sheriff's website, Shannon Price was booked for the two misdemeanors at 8:32 PM and then released on $1,205 bond.
Cops tell us Shannon allegedly broke household items belonging to Gary and that he was not physically harmed.
I love how the police are obviously covering for him because it sucks enough that he's Gary Coleman, so why let everybody know his wife used him as a human kickball until he bounced into the cordless phone and dialed 911 while careening off the oven? Give the poor man-ball some privacy.
Jul 2 2009Bianca Gascoigne in a bikini
Here's British model/reality star Bianca Gascoigne tanning at Nikki Beach this week. I don't know much about her except she's in a bikini. Oh, and wears a hat. She wears a hat. See? I noticed something besides her breasts. Sure, it took me five ten 24 hours to do so, but the important thing is I noticed. Eventually.
Jul 2 2009Megan Fox & Zac Efron probably had sex this week
Well, it finally happened. Megan Fox and Zac Efron were spotted on a date Tuesday night which means either Vanessa Hudgens is going to kill somebody or give Shia LaBeouf the hairiest chipmunk fuck of his life. It's a toss up. Celebuzz reports:
The 23-year-old stunner shared an intimate dinner with Zac Efron on Tuesday night at Pace, an upscale restaurant in Laurel Canyon, California, Celebuzz can exclusively report.
A fellow diner revealed, "They were very friendly and their faces were close when they talked."
It's no secret that the Transformers 2 actress has had a thing for the 21-year-old High School Musical heartthrob for quite some time. As we reported back in January, the two flirted at the Golden Globe Awards, raising eyebrows at an after-party.
Okay, I've made some "Zac Efron is gay" jokes in my day, but if he pulled this off, I have to give credit where credit is due. Obviously, these are two of the most beautiful in Hollywood, so I'm pretty sure if they had sex thousands of tiny angels appeared and guided Zac's penis into Megan. Or at least that's what happens when I make love. Ladies?
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Jul 2 2009Bradley Cooper bags another actress
Bradley Cooper apparently got what he wanted from Jennifer Aniston and has moved on to his next cougar: Renee Zellweger. The two were spotted having a romantic dinner Tuesday night in Manhattan, according to OK! Magazine:
"Throughout the dinner they were playful and flirty," a witness tells OK!. "She played with her hair a lot, and she would often touch his arm when she was making a point about something." The lucky celeb-spotter also reveals to OK! that Renée even leaned forward across the table on a few occasions to play with his napkin.
"At one point, he seemed to want to whisper something to her as if it were a secret," says the diner. "He spoke into her ear and then they both started giggling."
Perhaps not wanting the night to end too quickly, the pair remained at their table, sipping tea and chatting long after they finished their food.
When the check arrived, sources tell OK! that both Brad and Renée reached for it. "She told him she wanted to buy him dinner to pay him back for something," says the witness. "And when he opened the check, it already had her card in it!" We're told this little surprise caused Brad to blurt out, "You [expletive]-er!"
So am I to assume that Bradley Cooper is getting paid to have sex with older actresses? Because unless a Camaro drove out out of his steak that dude just got ripped off. Not that I'm saying Renee Zellweger is horribly unattractive. Just abrasive. To the eyes. That's all.
Jul 1 2009Bar Refaeli's Naked Video
Nobody has a clue, or honestly gives a fuck, where this mysterious video of a naked Bar Refaeli came from today because it's Bar Refaeli naked. To put things in perspective, if someone asked me "Hey, want to see a naked video of Bar Refaeli?", I'm not going to hem and haw and ask "Hmm. In what context?" I don't care if the entire backdrop ended up being my grandfather's windsock of a penis, I'd watch like it was the goddamn moon landing. That's called heroism, kids. You can't teach that.
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions of heavenly assness.
Jul 1 2009Stephanie Pratt in a bikini
Following in the constantly mugging footsteps of her brother Spencer, Stephanie Pratt did some canned bikini posing in Miami yesterday. You might remember her from such posts as the girl who claimed starring on The Hills made her bulimic which puts me in sort of an awkward position here. If I say Stephanie looks good, I'm encouraging women to have eating disorders. But if I say she looks bad, then I'm still encouraging eating disorders. So how about I just push Heidi Montag down a well and we call it a draw? That work for you guys? Awesome.
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Jul 1 2009Kevin Jonas gets to touch a vagina soon!
- Kevin Jonas is engaged to his girlfriend of two years, and holy shit, is that an eternity of dry-humping. A lesser man would've shot himself. (Read: This guy.) [Pink is the New Blog]
- Gwyneth Paltrow's mouth continues to be a never-ending stream of smarm. [PopSugar]
- Lindsay Lohan calls Justin Timberlake's clothing line a "Macy's brand" and "gross" on Twitter which would almost be an insult if Lindsay could afford to shop at Macy's and wasn't, well, Lindsay. [Lainey Gossip]
- Karen Mulder of Victoria's Secret fame was arrested for making "vicious" phone calls to her plastic surgeon. Because insulting the man who holds a knife over your unconscious body is always smart. Well played. [Celebslam]
- Hilary Duff is joining the cast of Gossip Girls. Great. Now who's going to play Meghan McCain in the Lifetime original movie Sarah Palin Fucked Me Out of My Own Room at the White House? [Just Jared]
- Mandy Moore on the cover of Women's Health looks absolutely nothing like Mandy Moore. Unless she's a 35-year-old housewife now. Then maybe. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Jul 1 2009Denise Richards in a bikini (Without cut-offs!)
On the last day of her Maui vacation, Denise Richards finally decided to ditch the cut-off shorts and go for a swim in her bikini. Sure, there's no way these are candid shots, but that's like complaining the girl you slept with last night was missing a leg. And heart. And soul. And, fine, it was a blow-up doll, okay? Listen, sometimes you gotta have a few rainy days to enjoy the sunny ones, and I'm going through what you might call a "monsoon season." Of the penis.
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Jul 1 2009Robert Pattinson likes to smoke
Since it's basically been a bikini-fest today (A purposeful, Michael Jackson-free bikini fest!), I figured I'd post the latest shots of Robert Pattinson on the set of Remember Me in New York with Emilie de Ravin who divorced her husband immediately before filming started. Which is exactly what I'd do in her shoes. Along with threaten to sleep with "Edward" unless Twi-hards brought me coffee every morning and formed a lucrative network of pickpockets so I could retire at 30. Seriously, try and tell me that plan wouldn't work. You can't.
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