Nov 5 2009Lindsay Lohan's not done shitting on Michael Lohan's doorstep
Lindsay Lohan continued her offensive against Michael Lohan today and fired off a series of tweets essentially accusing him of threatening to kill her mother Dina:
- she blames herself for staying w/him for so long, I'd beg her not to leave b/c he always threatened to kill her if she did"
- after disappearing, then coming home after being gone for several days while cheating on my mother&abusing substances.
- Its so sad that I even have to share this w/everyone, but I haven't had a real relationship w/Michael Sr. In years. That is the truth. Xox
- I just hope I can show others how to be strong through times & to be able to stand up for yourself and loved ones no matter what! :) *
The shit apparently hit the fan yesterday when Michael sold a recording to RadarOnline of Lindsay calling him for help which prompted her Twitter assaults:
- My fathers such a loser & those recordings are from years ago. To release personal things is foul enough, but to edit them. I used to think
- That he needed the book for dummies on learning how to be a father. Haha-he's needs the book for dummies on HOW TO BE A MAN.
Selling personal phone calls of your daughter calling for support for profit? Jesus Christ. No wonder Lindsay's a walking stick figure of insatiable cock-lust. It's a good thing Michael Lohan's not out there giving advice to other fathers. -- Wait.
Continue Reading "Lindsay Lohan's not done shitting on Michael Lohan's doorstep"
Nov 5 2009'One due east, and one due south,' he said. 'That be her calling card.'
Here's a braless Britney Spears in Australia this morning and I just realized something: If her breasts were guns on a battleship, she'd be perfect for covert missions. One would destroy the enemy, while the other would take out her own ship leaving zero evidence behind. Seriously, has the Pentagon seen these? Because I'm pretty sure my obsession with tits just won the War on Terror. Like I told them I would. Who's the pervert trying to get out of paying taxes now, Washington?
Scope Out (20) Pics of Britney After the Jump
Continue Reading "'One due east, and one due south,' he said. 'That be her calling card.'"
Nov 5 2009Kristen Stewart probably shouldn't do interviews
While doing press for New Moon this week, Kristen Stewart played the always ridiculous "It's so hard being a rich actress in a successful franchise" card in a roundtable with Entertainment Weekly:
Asked about the endless rumors of her supposed off-screen romance with Pattinson, for instance, Stewart got nicely fired up. "I probably would've answered it if people hadn't made such a big deal about it," she said. "But I'm not going to give the fiending an answer. I know that people are really funny about 'Well, you chose to be an actor, why don't you just f--ing give your whole life away?! Can I have your firstborn child?'"
Pattinson himself, who clearly loathes confrontation, tried to softly interject with philosophical statements about the need for an actor to hold onto his individuality. But Stewart cut him off. "I've thought about this a lot," she said. "There's no answer that's not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: 'Okay, we are. We aren't. I'm a lesbian.' I'm just trying to keep something," she said. "If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I'd be like 'F-- off!'
You know what's always smart? Letting the main actress in your cash cow franchise call your target audience "the fiending." Then again, I'm pretty sure they read this article and all they saw was "Blah blah blah 'Robert Pattinson will dry hump me if I buy a Twilight backpack' blah blah blah 'Kristen Stewart is a lesbian and no longer a threat to me' blah blah blah 'I wish I didn't read Breaking Dawn 400 times because now I no longer understand the English language' blah blah blah blah."
To prove my point, watch as I instantly quadruple the site's traffic: I totally just heard Edward Cullen will hold your hand in gym class if you click every single picture on The Superficial - twice. OMG!
(Why didn't I do this sooner?)
Continue Reading "Kristen Stewart probably shouldn't do interviews"
Nov 5 2009Rihanna: THE INTERVIEW
In an interview with Diane Sawyer on today's Good Morning America, Rihanna talks about her humiliation for not only being beaten by Chris Brown but going back to him after the incident:
"That's embarrassing that that's the type of person that I fell in love with," Rihanna told "Good Morning America's" Diane Sawyer in her first television interview discussing the assault. "So far in love. So unconditional that I went back. It's humiliating to say this happened. To accept that? It's a traumatizing experience." Her decision to go back to Brown, she said, was a mistake.
"I stayed. I even went back after he beat me, which was wrong," she said. "But again ... I'm a human being and people put me on a very unrealistic pedestal. And all these expectations, I'm not perfect."
The 21-year-old star acknowledged that Brown held her in a headlock twice that night and bit her on the ear and fingers.
Rihanna also realized young girls look up to her and she was setting a horrible precedent by staying with Chris Brown who apparently fights like he was told he couldn't have a juice box while watching Dora:
"It's completely normal to go back. It's not right. I learned the hard way, but again, this is what I want people to know," she said. "When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result in some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. I couldn't be held responsible for going back.
"Even if Chris never hit me again, who is to say that their boyfriend won't? Who's to say that they won't kill these girls?" she said. "These are young girls and I just didn't realize how much of an impact I had on these girls' lives until that happened."
While it's a little too convenient Rihanna's coming forward just weeks before the release of her new album, I can also see how it's the perfect time to be a role model for young girls in abusive relationships. I dunno, maybe it would ease my conscious if she talked more about the importance of identifying warning signs. Like that time Chris Brown punched a kitten because his custom Xbox didn't have enough diamonds - then angrily waxed his vagina. That kind of stuff.
Scope Out the Video After the Jump
Nov 4 2009Rachel Bilson in Flaunt proves I really can hate Hayden Christensen more
This is Rachel Bilson in the latest issue of Flaunt. This is also what Hayden Christensen gets to see naked thanks to George Lucas plucking him out of obscurity to take a horribly acted shit on my childhood. And this is me renewing my vow to stab that bearded bastard to death with an IG-88 action figure: Now I've seen your true form, Satan. Have at you!
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Nov 4 2009Hayden Panettiere in Swedish Elle and other news
- Gwyneth Paltrow flirts with death by skipping a Madonna-sanctioned function. [Lainey Gossip]
- Chantelle Houghton is important. Trust me. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are apparently into freaky shit. [Just Jared]
- Joanna Krupa defends Playboy. [PopEater]
- Hugh Jackman has a dire penis emergency. [Celebslam]
- Natalie Portman does V Magazine which sadly does not include lizard people. [PopSugar]
- Heidi Klum will host - but not walk - at this year's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. [The Blemish]
- Josh Duhamel is fucking everyone! [Socialite Life]
Continue Reading "Hayden Panettiere in Swedish Elle and other news"
Nov 4 2009Eddie Cibrian already cheating on LeAnn Rimes
Apparently Eddie Cibrian gets immediately bored with one vagina and is already cheating on his mistress-turned-girlfriend LeAnn Rimes with a previous mistress Scheana Maria Jancan, according to Life & Style:
"Eddie has recently started seeing Scheana again," an insider tells Life & Style exclusively, noting that they were together on Oct. 21 around 1 a.m. "He told her he's only with LeAnn for the publicity and that he plans to end things with her soon."
"He has a friend drop him off at Scheana's apartment, where he'll usually spend about two hours," the insider reveals. "Then a friend picks him up. He never spends the night at Scheana's because he's afraid LeAnn will catch on. But he's made it clear to Scheana that he wants to continue seeing her."
Wait. If you're going to cheat, why do it with someone you've already cheated with before? That practically makes it a relationship which just defeats the whole purpose of cheating in the first place. Call me old-fashioned, but I always thought the point of adultery was to stick your penis in as many things as possible even if it's a pan of muffins cooling on a window sill. (And for the last time, grandma, maybe you shouldn't have baked them to look so sexy.)
Continue Reading "Eddie Cibrian already cheating on LeAnn Rimes"
Nov 4 2009Molly Sims' Acting Reel - in a bikini
Here's 3 minutes and 17 seconds of supermodel Molly Sims pretending to be a serious actress while wearing a bikini the entire time, and she's hired! Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say the work I have for her is considered acting as much as it's a steamy exercise in not laughing at my penis. Okay, so maybe's there some acting. And cameras. And teamsters stopping by to make my bedroom look like the Batcave, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Nov 4 2009Carrie Prejean sex tape forced a settlement
Carrie Prejean and the Miss California Organization both dismissed their respective lawsuits after reaching a settlement yesterday, and apparently a sex tape featuring Miss Purity with Implants was the catalyst, according to TMZ:
The video the lawyer showed Carrie is extremely graphic and has never been released publicly. We know that, because TMZ obtained the video months ago but decided not to post it because it was so racy. Let's just say, Carrie has a promising solo career.
We're told it took about 15 seconds for Carrie to jettison her demand and essentially walk away with nothing. As we first reported, the Pageant is paying around $100,000 to her lawyers and publicist -- a fraction of her bills. She pockets nothing in the settlement.
I had no idea Jesus was so into fake tits, topless photos and amateur sex tapes. Guess I should start going to church more often. So are they open on Wednesdays, or do I need to make an appointment? More importantly, will the priest be there the whole time?
Nov 4 2009Rihanna: 'I felt like Britney Spears'
Rihanna opens up to Glamour about the days after the night Chris Brown brutally beat her after a Pre-Grammys party in February:
It has taught me so much. I felt like I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears. That was the level of media chaos that happened the next day. It was like, What, there are helicopters circling my house? There are 100 people in my cul-de-sac? What do you mean, I can't go back home?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, I understand that an abusive experience like this does a number on a woman's self-esteem. You start to think "Did I deserve this? Is this my fault?" which is a completely normal reaction even though the answer to both is an emphatic "no." But equating yourself to Britney Spears? I can't even fahtom going to a place that dark. Damn you, Chris Brown! Damn you to hell!
