Nov 20 2009Miley Cyrus' tour claims a life
Presumably as punishment for simulating masturbation on stage, the Lord saw fit to flip one of Miley Cyrus' tour buses this morning in Virginia leaving the driver dead. Miley was not on board. The AP reports:
Sgt. Thomas Molnar said the bus overturned around 8:15 a.m. about 40 miles (65 kilometers) south of Richmond.
One of the other nine passengers had minor injuries. Police would not identify those aboard.
A wrecker arrived late Friday morning to haul away the black-and-maroon luxury tour bus, which was on its side in a ditch off the highway where it had apparently skidded for several hundred feet.
According to Miley Cyrus' Web site, the pop singer is scheduled to perform Sunday in Greensboro, North Carolina.
Remember, kids, if God can't find a kitten, a bus driver will always do.
Also, all that stuff about going blind.
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EDIT: The Superficial offers its sincere condolences to the driver's family. Much like I noted when Madonna's tour killed someone, I don't even know how you reconcile losing a loved one so Disney can rake in billions teaching 10 year old girls how to be jailbait strippers. My jokes are aimed solely at the Miley Cyrus franchise, and I apologize for any insensitivity that may be perceived.
Nov 20 2009Megan Fox is stretchy
Hey, guys, running a tad behind this morning (Thank you, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show), so here are outtakes from Megan Fox's recent photoshoot for The New York Times Magazine. Because there's really not enough pics of Megan Fox accentuating her groin out there, so I'm just doing my part.
Nov 19 2009Hayden Panettiere fellating a machine gun
Here's Hayden Panettiere posing for Tyler Shields new book "The Dirty Side of Glamour," and the headline covers pretty much everything you need to know here. In related news, Charlton Heston's corpse just came.
Video of Hayden Getting Drenched with Champagne After the Jump
Continue Reading "Hayden Panettiere fellating a machine gun"
Nov 19 2009Katy Perry in Spandex and other news
- Audrina Patridge banged some dude from Glee. Apparently there's straight ones? [Lainey Gossip]
- Jamie Pressly is starting to have the chest of a 50-year-old sun-worshipper. Not good. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Adrian Grenier might be exposing Leighton Meester to his odorous wang. [PopEater]
- Alexander Skarsgard wants to get naked. [Just Jared]
- Aaron Carter: Why pay taxes when you can clearly buy meth? [Celebslam]
- Tom Cruise showed up on the set of Katie's movie yesterday to surprise her for their anniversary, and make sure she wasn't talking to anybody about the dead dudes in the basement. [PopSugar]
- Will Ferrell named Hollywood's Most Overpaid Star by Forbes. [ICYDK]
- Lauren Conrad is still being paid to write books. [Wonderwall]
- Taylor Lautner quietly wonders why women never take their clothes off when he asks... [Splash News]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Katie After the Jump
Nov 19 2009The 2009 GQ Men of the Year Awards.. Featuring Women!
GQ held its 2009 Men of the Year Awards last night in LA, so here's a smattering of all the beautiful people that attended:
Olivia Wilde with her ox-strangling witchery.
Alexander Skarsgard... in pants. I got nothin'.
Levi Johnston wearing lipstick. Is that a crack at Sarah Palin or did he find the one Republican stylist in LA?
January Jones wearing something besides lingerie and 20 gigabits of airbrushing. FAIL.
Jamie-Lynn Sigler for no reason whatsoever. (Say for Entourage and I'll laugh at you.)
Kim Kardashian because everyone likes butts.
Amanda Seyfried who's spread I almost got sued for. Whee!
Rose Mc- AAAAAAHH!
Emma Stone with karate chopping action. There's a ninja in my pants. Attack!
Shanae Grimes, Jessica Stroup and AnnaLynne McCord because GQ secretly owns stock in The CW.
Marley Shelton. Wait, who?
Plus others whose photos I didn't feel like cropping. Enjoy!
Scope Out (30) Pics of the GQ Men of the Year Awards
Continue Reading "The 2009 GQ Men of the Year Awards.. Featuring Women!"
Nov 19 2009UPDATE: Tila Tequila loses her tiny naked shit (Added video)
Tila Tequila went on a deranged, naked rant this morning on Ustream which her attorney has since taken down claiming she's mentally ill from the incident with Shawne Merriman. TMZ reports:
Attorney Cyrus Nownejad tells TMZ he thinks the "domestic violence" incident with Shawne in September may have "pushed her over the edge."
Nownejad acknowledges something is seriously wrong with Tila and he's trying to figure out how to get her some help.
Tila just took down her Ustream, showing her dancing nude and talking crazy in front of the camera. She also went off on Shawne and his alleged drug use.
So, wait, Tila Tequila took her clothes off and said a bunch of crazy shit online for attention and this is her "pushed over the edge" by Shawne Merriman? The edge between what? Wednesday and Thursday? C'mon. Now if you'll excuse me I need to change the headline to "Tila Tequila: Still exactly the way you remember." For accuracy's sake.
UPDATE: So apparently one of the videos is still up. Embedded after the jump but it's pretty wonky considering it's currently being plastered all over the Internet. Huge thanks to Lizzy.
Continue Reading "UPDATE: Tila Tequila loses her tiny naked shit (Added video)"
Nov 19 2009Donald Trump to Carrie Prejean: 'Do porn.'
After throwing a hissy fit on Larry King Live and getting caught in several lies about her solo vaginal adventures, Carrie Prejean has turned to Donald Trump in a last ditch plea for advice. He responded with nothing less than pure wisdom. Via Page Six:
"Maybe," Mr. Trump said only half-jokingly, "she should become a major porn star, make millions of dollars, and give it to worthy causes."
If there's truly a God in Heaven, there's no way he didn't hear that and go, "Yeah, all that stuff. Make that stuff happen. Why'd I let this guy go bald again?"
Nov 19 2009HERO: Keeley Hazell shows her nipples for PETA
It's British Morning here on The Superficial, so here's glamour model Keeley Hazell going full topless topless for PETA unlike other celebrities who apparently want Bambi to die as a delicious hamburger in my mouth. How could you?!
Pics link to NSFW versions.
Continue Reading "HERO: Keeley Hazell shows her nipples for PETA"
Nov 19 2009Amy Winehouse's tits popped
Amy Winehouse's new breasts apparently sprung a leak over the weekend, according The Mirror:
Telegraphing the news on his Living TV show, Mitch said: "It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little (pointing to his chest) leaky something or other."
A friend of Amy's adds: "She saw something oozing out on to her top. She was worried as they looked wonky and to see stuff seeping out was horrible."
Let's cut to the chase, she thought there was gin inside and the puncture wound's from a bendy straw, wasn't it? Honestly, I'm amazed this didn't happen sooner. And by sooner I mean, "Doctor, she awoke from the anesthesia and went at them like a dog with a chew toy. No, really, look at the bite marks."
Pics link to NSFW versions.
Nov 19 2009Robert Pattinson has earned my respect
In case anyone had doubts that Robert Pattinson could make his fans do anything, here's an anecdote he shared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that demonstrates how easily he could violate a throng of a women at the drop of a hat. Via The Awful Truth:
"I was doing a preinterview for this [show], and I immediately regretted saying that," the awkwardly adorable R.Pattz says. "I sound like I'm actually just abusing my position.
"It was after a period of signing 500 signatures, and one of [the fans] just came up. You kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything, and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?' And [the fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like, 'Um, just take your clothes off.' And she stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security. I never felt more terrible."
This is exactly why I turned down a role in Twilight. No man should have that much power - especially me.
"Here's your menu, sir, and my breasts."
"Your black coffee and side of fellatio, sir."
"Two eggs and one 15-waitress-high naked pyramid just the way you like it."
(I haven't had breakfast yet.)
