Dec 18 2009Jessica Simpson knew about Tiger's affairs
Jessica Simpson apparently didn't sleep with Tiger Woods because she knew about his "cheatin' ways." The Chicago Sun-Times reports:
According to the source, Simpson had heard about Woods' wandering when she and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo were still together. Like many people in the sports world, Romo was well aware of Tiger's trysts -- which now are being revealed as common knowledge by those who spent time with him, both on and off the golf course.
''Jessica had no interest in hooking up with Tiger, for that reason alone,'' added my source.
Wow. More than any other news that's come in, this truly shows the scope of Tiger Woods' philandering. It was enough for even Jessica Simpson to figure it out. Just to put things in perspective, she still thinks there's a magical elf who turns the light on in her fridge. "Oh, Christ, here she comes again! *flick* And there she goes. *flick* Now's she back. *flick* And gone. -- Hey, you left Bronx Mowgli next to the mayo! Someone kill me."
Dec 17 2009Jessica Hart in a bikini
Here's Victoria's Secret/Sports Illustrated model Jessica Hart at Bondi Beach yesterday. I know I should probably comment on the gap in her teeth, but since I love women so much, I've been staring directly at Jessica Hart's breasts trying to think of a way to have meaningless sex with her. It's all about sensitivity with me.
Scope Out (20) Pics of Jessica Hart After the Jump
Dec 17 2009Stephanie Pratt's cleavage and other news
- Gwyneth Paltrow hawks hotels now. [Lainey Gossip]
- Audrina Patridge invited to the premiere of Avatar. -- I don't get it. [PopEater]
- Adrianne Curry riding a mechanical bull. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Tiger Woods is forced to sleep on his million dollar yacht. HAVE YOU NO SOUL, ELIN?! [Celebslam]
- Rihanna debuts "Hard." [Just Jared]
- Chris Henry of the Cincinatti Bengals learned a valuable about jumping into moving vehicles: Don't. [The Blemish]
- Pink criticizes Britney Spears for lip-syncing because no one told her it's not nice to insult the mentally challenged. Retard. [Betty Confidential]
- Rebecca Gayheart should probably not make a sex tape anytime soon. For humanity's sake. [Splash News]
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Scope Out (12) Pics of Stephanie Pratt After the Jump
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Dec 17 2009This might be the father of Kourtney Kardashian's baby
Meet "Premo Stallone." For the five people who consider Star a reliable source, he might be the one who really fertilized Kourtney Kardashian's egg instead of on/off boyfriend Scott Disick:
In our Dec. 28 issue, we report that Kim's big sister had a fling with Michael Girgenti -- a 23-year-old model and aspiring rapper, who goes by the stage name of Premo Stallone. A close friend of the Kardashian sisters confirmed they'd been intimate, saying: "Kourtney hooked up with Michael twice while she and Scott were on the outs. He's definitely been mentioned as a possibility for being the father of her baby."
Though a rep for Kourtney insists Scott's the dad, when Star asked Michael if there's a possibility he fathered the baby, he replied: "You could say that, yeah."
I honestly hope this kid is the father of Kourtney's baby. Mostly so the Kardashians can experience the joy of having someone milk them for cash for a change. Granted they're immune to learning moral lessons, that won't stop my heart from filling with holiday cheer. "$10,000 in child support to some cock named Premo? 'Tis a Christmas miracle, Tiny Tim!"
Continue Reading "This might be the father of Kourtney Kardashian's baby"
Dec 17 2009Elin Woods is '100%' filing for divorce
While Elin Woods packs up the kids to ditch Tiger for the holidays, presumably so he'll leave whore DNA on the coffee table, sources say their divorce is "100 percent on." ABC News reports:
According to Coyne, Nordegren is "shopping around" for a divorce attorney. People Magazine reported Nordegren would be going to Sweden soon to get out of the media glare.
"She's not rushing to divorce, however," the source told ABCNews.com. "She's going to take her sweet time. She wants all the dirty laundry to be out on the table before she signs anything."
At least Elin Woods understands this whore parade is nowhere near over. They haven't even found the silo where Tiger's storing all his love children. Mostly because it's not a matter of where they are, but when. DUN DUN DUN DUN!
No really, he owns a time machine.
Dec 17 2009Courtney Love: 'I don't want Frances Bean to become Jamie Lynn Spears'
While simultaneously complaining about Frances Bean not being a "private person," Courtney Love continued to air their dirty laundry all over Facebook yesterday:
this is like a hand grenade got thrown into our lives and its not Frances! i am angry at these people not Frances id just prefer she not become Jaimie L Spears, she should go be a writer or an a...rtist wich i support 100% but this is a circus and it pains me cos i know she hates it.
and i very uch miss my daughter being a private person, and i very much miss my daighter, i know she knows how miserable i am im despairing and so sad, so so sad, but i just want to help her be happy, thats it, get her house and get her school and thats all ive ever wanted,
The most hilarious part of this latest tirade is that Courtney Love actually had the gall to criticize Jamie Lynn Spears, yet I still found myself going "That's a fair statement." True story.
Continue Reading "Courtney Love: 'I don't want Frances Bean to become Jamie Lynn Spears'"
Dec 17 2009Jon Gosselin has a gun
The last thing I want to see in the hands of man who's apparently broke and about to have his divorce finalized in 24 hours is a loaded gun that he arbitrarily fires into the woods in front of photographers like a retarded Hunter S. Thompson. Fortunately the county Jon Gosselin lives in felt the same way this morning. RadarOnline reports:
And in another reality check, for the one-time Reality TV dad, Jon was ordered not to bring any firearm onto the marital property. A Montgomery County, PA judge entered that order today as Jon showed up in court to square off against a former lawyer who is suing him for non-payment.
If I wasn't 100% certain Kate Gosselin trained her children to form a bullet-blocking wall around her, I'd be surprised her people haven't gone to DEFCON 1 by now. Instead, they're just waiting for this thing to reach its inevitable conclusion. Read: Jon Plaxico Burress-ing himself in the nuts while dry-humping a Walmart cashier.
Any minute now...
Dec 17 2009Jessica Simpson didn't ride the Tiger
Jessica Simpson is denying reports she had sex with Tiger Woods. Via Twitter:
Can't believe that I'm on the cover of star magazine with Tiger Woods, what a JOKE! "The Shocking Inside Story" is (insert drumroll) A LIE!
Meanwhile, Joe Simpson has issued the following tweet:
@Tiger, I can make it happen if you let me be your manager. And watch. In a cowboy outfit. (Don't ask questions.) #daughterloversrawk
Dec 16 2009Lara Bingle in a bikini and other news
- Toby Keith should stick to performing proctological procedures with his boot. [PopEater]
- Cate Blanchett > Sienna Miller. [Lainey Gossip]
- Geri Halliwell keeps working the Ginger Spice Rack. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Emmanuelle Chriqui's cleavage is trying to make me watch Entourage. KNOCK IT OFF! [Celebslam]
- Jake Gyllenhaal & Reese Witherspoon broke up over the phone. [Just Jared]
- Doutzen Kroes backstage at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. [The Blemish]
- Heidi Klum probably looks better than 99.99% of America under those layers. [PopSugar]
- Kate Hudson got some love advice from Goldie Hawn. Unfortunately it was centered entirely on fucking Kurt Russell. [ICYDK]
- Lindsay Lohan ruined Sarah Michelle Gellar's dinner. [Socialite Life]
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Dec 16 2009Nicole Kidman was The Joker this whole time
So remember in Tim Burton's Batman when The Joker wore flesh-colored make-up to hide his white skin?
I rest my case.
*waits for Nicole Kidman to slap Batman in the face with a giant fish*
Continue Reading "Nicole Kidman was The Joker this whole time"
