Katy Perry isn't pregnant, tweets menstrual cycle
Sad news, everybody: Katy Perry won't be lactating anytime soon. According to her Twitter page, she's entered that special time in a young girl's life where you give out BJs or your boyfriend sleeps with your sister. (Don't get mad at me, get mad at nature.):
ur gonna make me cry, maybe that's my period tho. THAT'S RIGHT I'M BLEEDING. Face. Better luck next month peepz.
Katy also included a, uh, interesting graphic to illustrate what's happening to her body. I was under the impression a wolverine housed itself in there, but apparently you ladies turn into ghost-hunting anime characters. Is that why you get so bitchy? Because ghosts are hard to catch? I'm genuinely curious.
Let me into your world!
Continue Reading "Katy Perry isn't pregnant, tweets menstrual cycle"
Lindsay Lohan brought flapjacks
Here's Lindsay Lohan at the Vida launch event in West Hollywood last night where she thought people actually want to see her 50-year-old tits without a bra on which is practically a crime scene with gravity's DNA all over it. And probably her coke dealers. Let's not rule anything out, this is an investigation.
Scope Out (12) Pics of Lindsay Lohan After the Jump
Nicole Bahls' ass is about to save lives
Because I have a keen eye for star power and name recognition, here's Nicole Bahls' Kardashian-esque ass which I'm about to use to help the people of Haiti. In case you've been too busy reading this site - it happens - they just had their entire country destroyed by earthquakes yesterday. You can help out in less than two seconds by doing the following:
Text "HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross.
OR
Text "YELE" to 501501 to donate $5 to Wyclef Jean's Haiti Earthquake Relief Fund.
That's the price of one latte, folks. Or two if you're that kickass co-worker who always springs for coffee. And lap dances. (Hint, hint.)
UPDATE: Might want to hold off on the Wyclef donations.
Scope Out (20) Pics of Nicole Bahls After the Jump
Aubrey O'Day's areola and other news
- Michael C. Hall of Showtime's Dexter is battling cancer. [PopEater]
- Jessica Simpson posts pics of Billy Corgan to her Twitter. I honestly thought this whole thing was a joke. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jennifer Love Hewitt has a sparkly vagina. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Hugh Hefner is down to only one girlfriend now which is the equivalent of a wounded animal finding a hiding to place to die. [Celebslam]
- Rihanna poses for W. [PopSugar]
- Mila Kunis is "Miss Midwinter Pick-Me-Up." [Just Jared]
- Morgan Freeman gets his cougar on. [Bossip]
- Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter are "just friends" who have sex on top of diamonds. Nothing else. [The Blemish]
- Kate Gosselin is basically ripping off that show New York had on VH1. [ICYDK]
Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter
Tiger Woods doesn't get free cars anymore. Why, God? WHY?!
General Motors has decided not to renew its agreement with Tiger Woods that allowed him to drive several free vehicles including the Escalade Elin Woods would've split in two with her bare hands had the authorities not shown up. USA Today reports:
Even though Woods' endorsement contract for GM's Buick brand ended in 2008, Woods had been allowed to keep several vehicles, including the Cadillac SUV and reportedly a Buick Enclave crossover, for his personal use. But the agreement that allowed the world's richest professional golfer access to those new vehicles ended Dec. 31, said Buick spokeswoman Dayna Hart. The agreement was in place before the crash.
For anyone who actually feels the least bit of sympathy over this news, Tiger Woods could sell his snot on eBay for a million dollars just to buy 20 cars to prop up an old desk in his garage. Just the other day I saw him throw a LeSabre at a squirrel that was chewing on his bird feeder.
Heidi Montag or Barbie with a circulatory system?
Completely out of character for an attention-starved blow-up doll, Heidi Montag hasn't been photographed by the paparazzi since late November. Turns out she's been spending a small fortune having her chin sanded down and giving the ol' jugs an extra quart of saline. But to prove Heidi's still the same vapid pile of "MEEE!!" under there, she's making up for lost publicity by chronicling her experience for the latest issue of People:
"For the past three years, I've thought about what to have done," the reality star tells PEOPLE. "I'm beyond obsessed."
And so, on Nov. 20, Montag's total transformation began. Keeping even her family in the dark, the starlet chronicled every painful moment of recovery and her journey to become "the best me."
Good for Heidi. I've always felt a woman shouldn't stop getting questionable surgery after questionable surgery until the voices in her head tell her she's finally beautiful. Kanye's mom knows what I'm talking about.
Enlarged Version After the Jump
Continue Reading "Heidi Montag or Barbie with a circulatory system?"
Miley Cyrus wants you to see her bra
Not realizing her daddy only taught her this trick for his birthdays, Miley Cyrus stepped out in LA last night giving the paparazzi a camera-ful of her jailbait undergarments. With Hannah Montana coming to an end, obviously she doesn't have to worry about her wholesome image anymore and can finally concentrate her efforts on beating Britney Spears by shooting out two kids before 19. Let the Trailer Derby begin!
Jay Leno wants to leave NBC
While NBC wants him back on The Tonight Show, Jay Leno might be following Conan out the door thanks to the network's unbelievably retarded handling of the situation, according to PopEater:
Sources close to former 'Tonight Show' host Jay Leno tell me he is furious with the way NBC has treated him and Conan O'Brien and is considering walking away from the entire mess with his head held high. "Now that Conan has made it clear he is leaving the troubled network, Jay is considering doing the same. They have put Jay in a terrible position. It looks like he is the reason that Conan is now without a job. Jay is a great guy and it's not fair that due to NBC's stupidity he looks like the bad guy," a TV insider tells me.
"Plus, what happens when Jay does return to the 11:35 slot if his audience doesn't immediately follow? How can he possibly trust the same network that canceled Conan after only seven months?"
So basically NBC's entire late night lineup is about to be reduced to Jimmy Fallon and Carson Daly which proves Jay Leno really can make me laugh. Never would've called that one.
Tila Tequila: 'Casey Johnson wanted me to have her daughter'
Despite solid suspicions that Tila Tequila's engagement to Casey Johnson was a Joe Francis-produced publicity stunt, she's somehow landing interviews with People and now Extra where Tila announced she's going to launch a custody battle for Casey Johnson's daughter. Oh, good:
Casey Johnson's fiancee Tila Tequila tells "Extra" she will seek custody of Johnson's adopted daughter Ava.
Johnson's mother has custody of Ava and Tequila says that's not what Casey wanted.
"Her last wish was to have Ava, have me have Ava," she revealed. The former reality TV star says she will file papers to adopt.
Granted Casey Johnson is the result of her mother's parenting, there's no way any judge in America will hand custody of a child over to Tila Tequila. I can't believe I'm even saying this, but Britney Spears would have a better chance at adoption. She'd be under court order to provide Ava with a football helmet and a handgun, but you get my point.
Continue Reading "Tila Tequila: 'Casey Johnson wanted me to have her daughter'"
Megan Fox in her underwear
Here's Megan Fox posing for Armani's latest underwear campaign because apparently they're gay for plastic women with bolt-on tits who'll be forgotten in five years. (Three if Michael Bay's Ferrari isn't properly waxed.)
