Apr 3 2009Levi Johnston: 'Sarah Palin knew Bristol and I were having sex'
- Levi Johnston tells Tyra Banks Sarah Palin "probably knew" he was having sex with Bristol because they shared a room. Wow. Have you actually spent time with this woman? Because you'd know she thought you were just praying. Or loading an assault rifle. Either one. [Just Jared]
- Britney Spears' stop at a Dallas nightclub ends with employees being threatened if they talk to the press. Great, now we'll never know how many people her vagina killed. But I'm guessing eight. [Radar Online]
- Zach Braff and Dax Shepard are now virtually interchangeable. Who didn't see that coming? Including the blind. [Best Week Ever]
- Ben Affleck taught his daughter Violet how to swear in German. Yeah, well, Britney Spears lets her kids use the car to pick up smokes. Try again, Daredevil. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Hugh Jackman's quasi-visible ass in Wolverine. Now I'm really excited to see this movie! I mean, a guy I know is. The, uh, Writerficial Super. Yeah, him. [Pink is the New Blog]
Feb 7 2007Drew Barrymore and Zach Braff get it on
After splitting with Fabrizio Moretti recently, Drew Barrymore has reportedly started getting close with Zach Braff. They "were very into each other" during the SNL after-party at Sapa, and the two spent the night in the corner "really focused on each other." A rep for Barrymore insists they're just friends but a source says Drew's friends are telling everybody they're "definitely dating."
I don't really care about either of these people so here's an amusing digital short from Drew Barrymore's SNL last week.
Jan 10 2007Mandy Moore dates DJ AM, God confused
I don't know why, but Mandy Moore and DJ AM (Niciole Richie's ex) are allegedly dating. They ran into each other at a New Year's Eve party in Miami and have been seeing each other since.
"It's really new. They're in the beginning stages of getting to know each other," says the source. "They're very into each other. It's very sweet."
I'm guessing Mandy Moore was molested by her uncle or some other fucked up shit, because she's got the worst taste in men allowed by law. Her previous boyfriends have included Zach Braff and Wilmer Valderrama, so I guess it was just a matter of time before she hooked up with DJ AM. This time next year she'll be dating Scott Baio, and the year after that she'll have hooked up with some vagrant she found living in a refrigerator box.
Jun 14 2006Zach Braff and Mandy Moore split up
Us Weekly is reporting Zach Braff and Mandy Moore have split up after going out for a year and a half. Braff was spotted at Hyde on June 8 downing drinks and trying to get with Jessica Simpson, despite costar Christa Miller saying on Howard Stern Monday that they were still together. A source says:
“There was no drama. They were ready. Mandy was very young when they got together and she wanted to see what’s out there, now that she’s a woman. Zach was mature and realized it was time to let her do that.”
There's a reason you don't see many beautiful women with ugly men, and thats because at some point in their lives they realize they have eyes. And they can see with them. I'm sure Zach is a very nice fellow, but if these two were to enter a beauty contest one would end up in the top 10 and the other would be mistaken for the janitor. Or her dad.
Feb 24 2006Mandy Moore and Zach Braff wedding registry
In case there was ever any doubt that Mandy Moore and Zach Braff are indeed getting married, the foxy Neva tracked down their Tiffany's wedding registry. There's nothing particularly interesting, but it's worth looking at just to see their full names Amanda Moore and Zachary Braff in print. Although if you'd like to get a little something for the couple, I recommend the $260 pierced tablespoon. I'm not exactly sure why you would want holes in your spoon, but I figure it's for those go-getters who find drinking soup just isn't quite challenging enough on its own.
UPDATE: I think you crazy sons of bitches took down the Tiffany's website. Give it awhile and I'm sure it'll be up again.
Feb 2 2006Mandy Moore And Zach Braff To Wed
Mandy Moore and Zach Braff are supposedly set to marry next April, after the Scrubs star discreetly asked the 21-year-old singer/actress last month:
The couple are staying tight lipped about their plans, but Braff, 30, popped the question and presented Moore - his girlfriend for the past 18 months - with a $450,000, 4-carat princess-cut diamond-and-platinum NEIL LANE engagement ring.
Way to go, Zach. If there's one thing The Graduate taught us, it's that when you're an awkward-looking Jewish dweeb dating a young, beautiful girl, you've got to lock it down quick. Also, try to sleep with her mom while you're at it.
Sep 19 2005Emmys, apparently brought to you by Helen Keller
We all learned a lot last night at the 57th Annual Emmy Awards. For example, we learned that the Emmy voters are blind, deaf, and dumb. (Not that cute Penn & Teller-dumb, either. More like that annoying Jenna Elfman-dumb.) Felicity Huffman taught us that nice girls actually finish first, especially when they portray unlikable hypocrites on TV. Jeffrey Tambor and Jessica Walter taught us that being by far the best performer in your category means nothing unless your show is in its last season. Patricia Arquette taught us that, uh, ew. And of course, S. Epatha Merkerson didn't teach us anything, but did confirm that being elbow deep in your own cleavage while half-sobbing, half-laughing is comedy gold.
Oh yeah, and Arrested Development fans have something to teach the creators and cast of the highly overrated Everybody Loves Raymond. Namely that there are dozens of us, and we're all batshit crazy. So, yeah, good luck with that.
The list of winners after the jump.
Continue Reading "Emmys, apparently brought to you by Helen Keller"
Jan 7 2005Kirsten Dunst and Zach Braff Hook Up
Spies reportedly spotted Kirsten Dunst with Zach Braff over the holidays on St. Bart's, despite Zach's supposed relationship with Mandy Moore. After hooking up at a yacht party, the two headed to a club where spies say Kirsten jumped on a table and danced for Braff. She then sat on his lap, they hugged and kissed, and later left together, showing up on the beach together the next day. Now can somebody explain to me why anybody in their right mind would cheat on Mandy Moore with Kirsten Dunst? That makes about as much sense as trading in a donut to eat human feces.
