Jun 16 2009Cristiano Ronaldo tries tanning the herp away
- Victoria Beckham had her breast implants removed making this the last time I type her name again. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have sex in their friends' bathrooms during dinner parties. What is this weird feeling I'm experiencing toward Will Smith? It's almost like.. respect? That can't be right. [The Blemish]
- Adrian Grenier is dating Twilight's Ashley Greene which brings her star status to its all-time high of 1/1,000,000,000th of Robert Pattinson's. [PopSugar]
- Gwyneth Paltrow reaches new levels of insipidness by referring to Billy Joel as "William." Excuse me while I drive a bus into my own face. [Celebslam]
- Sacha Baron Cohen poses naked for cover of GQ. Surprisingly absent: Eminem's teabag-ready chin. [Just Jared]
- Russell Crowe on the set of Ridley Scott's Untitled Robin Hood Project. I think people still care about Russell Crowe, but don't quote me on that. Unless it's for the DVD jacket then by all means. [Lainey Gossip]
Oct 29 2008Steven Spielberg directs Tom Cruise and an effin' gaggle of celebs in a horribly meta "Get out the Vote" video
Tom Cruise, Will Smith, Justin Timberlake, Scarlett Johannson, Ryan Reynolds, Harrison Ford, Borat, Shia LaBeouf, Tobey MaDumbFace and a shitload of celebrities got together for a follow-up to the "Five Friends" video encouraging people to vote. Jesus, these things have sequels now? At least they got Spielberg to direct. Or, more like, FUCK they got Spielberg to direct. Thanks for the CGI gophers in Indy 4, asshole!
I don't know about you guys, but this was definitely the last straw for me. I am so ready for this election to be over before Ashton Kutcher tells me to vote one more time, and I strangle him with a Kaballah bracelet. I honestly can't wait to wake up on November 5th and learn our next president is... George Bush! Who will undoubtedly declare martial law and proclaim himself "Galactic Umpire" while Natalie Portman gives effortless birth to Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia. You heard it here first.
Jan 9 2008Will Smith recruits for Scientology, is also freaking cheap
Will Smith handed out gifts to crew members after filming ended for his new movie Hancock. While it’s common practice for big stars to hand out “wrap presents,” Will Smith’s generous trinket has undoubtedly left him in danger of getting a boom mic shoved up his ass. NY Daily News reports:
His recent gift after wrapping next summer's comedy "Hancock" was a card good for a personality test at your local Scientology center.
Never mind that such tests are given free by the church anyway. The quiz is designed to convert people to the religion by identifying personality flaws that - surprise! - Scientology can fix right up for you.
Apparently there’s one flaw Scientology can’t fix: Being a cheap bastard. Damn, Will Smith, a personality test? That’s low. I can take one of those online for free anytime I want. In fact, I took a test the other day that told me which Star Wars character I resemble. After several hours of changing my answers, the results finally said I’m Darth Vader. Yeah, let’s see Scientology say I’m an awesome space dude. I don’t think so.
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Nov 21 2006Will Smith thinks teachers are useless
Will Smith says he and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith are homeschooling their children because he doesn't believe in teachers and feels the most valuable things he learned in life he didn't get from school. He tells Reader's Digest:
"The date of the Boston Tea Party does not matter. I know how to learn anything I want to learn. I absolutely know that I could learn how to fly the space shuttle because someone else knows how to fly it, and they put it in a book. Give me the book, and I do not need somebody to stand up in front of the class."
I love Will Smith and all, but I can guarantee you there's no way he could actually fly a space shuttle after just reading a book. Okay fine, he could get in the cockpit and be in the space shuttle as it was traveling through the air, but I don't think crashing it into the side of a mountain or straight into New York city should technically count as "flying a space shuttle." If it does, then he wouldn't even need the book. Or arms.
