Oct 19 2007Uma Thurman wears see through clothes
Uma Thurman showed up at the Swarovski Fashion Rocks concert at the Royal Albert Hall yesterday. She was wearing, uh, something, I think. Not exactly sure what kind of fashion statement she’s making here. It’s kind of like Uma woke up and said, “Hey, I want people to know I’ve got nipples. And, also, an ass.” Which is convenient, because just the other day I was thinking to myself, “Does Uma Thurman have all her anatomical parts? Or is she missing a nipple, or perhaps her whole buttocks?” Mystery solved. Now I can focus my awesome mind power on more important things. Aw, yeah, Tetris!
Apr 5 2007Uma Thurman has extremely saggy boobs
Uma Thurman was spotted in the Caribbean with very large and very saggy breasts. I just can't figure out if I'm supposed to be turned on or grossed out. It's like watching lesbians, only one of them has a mustache. And an eyepatch. And, according to my description, a part-time job as a pirate.
A ton more of Uma Thurman and her sagging breasts after the jump.
Mar 19 2007Uma Thurman is single again
Not that anybody cares, but Uma Thurman and hotelier Andre Balazs have ended their three-year, on-again, off-again, relationship. Exciting news, isn't it? Did you wet your pants? Because I know I did. It's almost as exciting as watching competitive fishing. And NASCAR. At the same time.
And because it makes total sense, I included a shot of Uma Thurman spraying herself down with a hose.
Oct 17 2006Mary-Kate Olsen is dating again
20-year-old Mary-Kate Olsen has reportedly been dating oil heir Maxwell Snow for about a month now. Snow happens to be Uma Thurman's nephew and is Mary-Kate's first boyfriend since being single for a year after Paris Hilton stole her last boyfriend Stavros Niarchos.
It warms the heart to see that even creepy looking monkey-people can find love in this crazy mixed up world of ours. Being worth half a billion probably helps, but I'm sure there are a ton of guys out there who'd love her just for her. I mean guys love Zoolander, so it only makes sense they'd love a girl who looks likes him. Sort of like how guys love girls who look like Chuck Norris. Although that's mostly just for their very handsome beards.
Dec 16 2005Uma Thurman has a big red nipple
I don't want to give Uma Thurman any fashion advice, but maybe an outfit that has a giant red ball on the nipple isn't the best thing to wear around in public. If she's really looking to be made fun of, she could have done something a little more subtle like a dress with a picture of a cat on the crotch. That's just as embarrassing, but at least you have to think a little for the joke. Make them work for it, Uma. Don't just plaster a giant prosthetic nipple over your boob and start wandering around town.
Dec 7 2005Uma Thurman's man hunt
Uma Thurman is on the hunt for a new man, insisting that she is still "out there and available if anyone's interested"
She told Grazia magazine: "As one who adores the male species, I feel compassionately towards them. I've studied them carefully like a hunter watches its prey. I love all the guys out there."
When you're a rich, beautiful, famous blonde actress, I have a hard time believing it's too difficult to find a man. Uma probably has to hunt for men about as much as Samuel Jackson has to hunt for self tanner. It's like I was telling her the other night in bed, "Babe, you have too much dignity to go slumming after a man. Ok? Good. Now go ahead and re-grease the vibrating donkey."
Jan 17 2005Uma Thurman Ruven Afanador Photoshoot
Uma Thurman is one of those people that looks really beautiful and classy, but she's just not quite attractive. I can admire her from an aesthetic point of view, but I have absolute zero interest in having sex with her. She's like a really tall blonde version of Natalie Portman. Classically beautiful, but not a single ounce of sexual appeal.
